Wish you were gay - Billie Eilish

"Jimin! Where's Jeongguk?"

The brunette looks up from his phone, perking an eyebrow to Jackson barging into his dressing room, "Do I look like his babysitter to you?"

The coach rolls his eyes, "You both are going up in a few minutes and I can't find him."

"He's probably taking a shit?"

"Jimin!"

The dancer huffs but gets off the chair, fully dressed up with make up ready for the performance - even finished throwing up the remaining meal from yesterday and this morning - so Jimin's literally all set and ready for this performance.

Jeongguk did leave a while ago with Karma to see Taehyung's performance, but that was a while ago. If something wasn't right than no doubt everyone would've made a big deal out of it, so maybe he's just wandering around with Karma.

However, to prevent Jackson from ripping his own head off, guess Jimin could be helpful and look for him.

Marvelous.

Great time to disappear Jeongguk.

So Jimin starts his search for him while also sending him messages to get him to answer, but Jeongguk seems to have dropped his phone in a toilet because he doesn't fucking answer.

Well at least Jimin is left on delivered, so his phone is on, somewhere.

Great, time to do this the hard way.

Taking turns after turns, asking people - some rude ass people as a matter of fact - but still received no word on where he was. Time was ticking, they're literally fifteen minutes away from performing and Jimin is getting stressed.

Out of all times to hide, seriously, now?!

Fighting back the sickness Jimin is feeling in his stomach from his previous session earlier, he found comfort in the scent of mint of his breath after he brushed his teeth,

But he still feels sick.

Where the fuck is Jeongguk?

After roaming throughout the entire damn building, Jimin ended up deciding to let out some air outside for a damn second because he felt like he just might explode.

Just as he was about to go down the stairs to exit out to the back of the building to get air, he stops mid step when he heard a voice by the end of the stair case to reach the lower floor.

A familiar voice.

Okay, it's not too late to turn around-

"What is with you Jeongguk?" Jimin stops in his steps, "You know damn well what you're going to be facing the second you step out onto that ice. I'm trying to look out for you because I'm fucking scared!"

Jimin was definitely not about to leave now.

Sure, family matter, should give them space, but this involves Jeongguk; his performance, Jimin's partner.

This is also his problem because if Jeongguk doesn't go out there and skates his ass off, then he's breaking their deal.

Making both of them look like society won over them.

And Jimin is not a fucking coward.

Namjoon should mind his damn business, even if he's just looking after his brother.

"You can handle it? May I remind you of what happened the last time as a result to this program performance!" Namjoon's voice is desperate, pleading almost in desperation to no doubt Jeongguk's sign responses, "And not to forget to add Jimin onto the equation too! You think he'll give a shit about whatever happens to you? All he cares about is doing a perfect performance and make himself look good, and you can't even deny that! If he can look after himself, why can't you?"

Wow thanks.

Actually.... That pretty spot on, Jimin can't even be mad. When he's in the performance zone, all he can think about or focus is just on a perfect performance and doing whatever it takes to get there.

But it's too far stretched to assume he won't even batter an eye if something does happen to Jeongguk. He's not an emotionless prick after all.

"Jeongguk, Jeongguk! Think about what you just signed to me!" Jimin flinches to his tone. He's definitely mad now, "Your health Jeongguk, your health is what's important! I fucked up once already, not looking after you at the club and- Shit! That has fucked me over! I'm not going to mess up again!"

The club..... Right, no doubt he feels heavy guilt about that night too.

The following morning of that horrid night, Jeongguk didn't remember anything as expected. Jimin didn't know whether he was being serious or preferred brushing the memory aside, but he didn't press him on the matter and just acted like his charming self.

However Minho did inform Namjoon about what happened and well..... He wasn't so happy.

Rather than keeping Jeongguk in the dark, he told him about it.

These past two weeks leading to this moment now, Jeongguk has kept his distance from Jimin and only focused on practicing. Jimin didn't nudge him about it, only gave him his space. Jimin assumes he started remembering and preferred keeping his space after the shit ton of confessions he said out that night, or he still doesn't remember and prefers dealing with it alone.

But now they have no time for this.

Separate professional and personal lives, that was something they agreed on.

So just as Jimin was about to take a step, Namjoon speaks again.

"Jimin is definitely having an influence on you. That's his effect. He's going to get into your head, make you feel like you have to be so dependent on him to feel so powerful and then guess what? He'll leave you like how he did to me!" He explodes, making Jimin peek an eyebrow, "Jeongguk please..... Get out of this program while you still have the chance. If you continue, the press won't be the only thing that's going to end up hurting you, I can guarantee you that-"

Jimin is getting bored of this now.

"Man, you give me so much credit, I'm flattered," Jimin announces, clearly sarcastic, while making his way down the stairs to finally see Jeongguk and Namjoon standing there.

Their eyes falls to him, clearly mixed emotions, but Jimin only focused on Jeongguk, "Great, found you. Now let's go, we're up-"

"See what I mean!" Jimin closes his eyes, trying to maintain his calm, "He doesn't care about you! Only about the show!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm assuming since you're here that he must be okay, yeah?" Jimin snaps back to him, trying to not snarl, "My business with Jeongguk doesn't concern you."

Namjoon narrows his eyes, "He's my brother, and I'm worried about him. I don't know what type of game you're playing with him to make him now put this stupid performance, even you, over his mental health, but you better stop manipulating with his head!"

Jimin had to crackle, a small but dry chuckle, "A game? As if I suck dick for living?"

"With the way you sucked mines I would think so."

Jimin's hand was seconds away from meeting Namjoon's face out of the quick trigger of rage, but Jeongguk grips his wrist back. Puffing in anger, Jimin sneering his gaze to him while Jeongguk now looks.....

Different.

Monotone.

As if the life was just sucked out of him.

"Stop."

He says this so heavily and dark, pushing Jimin's arm back so he wouldn't touch his brother. Not going to lie, it did catch Jimin off guard just a little bit, but then his eyes falls to Jeongguk's hands that signed to Namjoon.

"Jimin means nothing to me. Not in the way you think he does. We are just partners, that's it. You're right, I'm letting this program get to my head, so I will look after myself. Jimin has been influencing me and that's something I will reflect on it alon-"

Jimin didn't even let Jeongguk finish before he stormed away and up the stairs, slamming the door behind him when he entered the floor he came out of a few moments ago.

Feeling nothing but his heart growing darker of emotions, just like his soul.

No matter what he does, he will always be the bad guy.

Ha, shouldn't have gotten use to feeling like the good guy for once around Jeongguk. He knew it wasn't going to last because at the end of the day, he's the easy target to throw shit on.

It was nice while it lasted.

But one can never run away from who they truly are, and for Jimin that's being someone's blame.

Not like it matters.

His fault.

That's it.

Now all he needs to do is to do a perfect performance, at least the only blame he'll get there is praises for his act.

No matter how much his vision began to blur to the fogged ache in his chest.

______________________
A/N:
Ouch.....

So I'm currently writing this through my phone because my charger to my computer is broken, so I apologize ahead of time if some of the spacings look strange.

I know many of you are asking whether Jimin did or did not understand what Jeongguk signed, and the answer is he did. How? Well that'll be revealed soon!

I PURPLE YOU! <33