Lo Vas A Olvidar - Billie Eilish & ROSALÍA

It's been a week.

Since the press.

Skating event.

Jeongguk's overdose.

Jimin's episode after his moment with Namjoon.

It's been a whole week.

And Jimin not once has seen Jeongguk since then.

He didn't go to skating practice, even though Jackson cancelled the first few days for Jeongguk's recovery after being released from the hospital, but he didn't go after that.

He kept his phone turned off, only going to his ballet practice on time and leaving without a word from Taemin about his distance. No contact with Jackson, Namjoon, Jihyo, and Taemin through phone; refusing to even meet in person as well unless it's urgent.

He's heard knockings on his door a few times within that frame, but Taemin and Jihyo have spare keys and they know they can come in whenever they please. So if someone knocked, Jimin didn't answer because it's clearly someone he doesn't want to see.

He refused to talk to anyone.

Not even to send a message to Jeongguk to know how he has been now, or even see him at the hospital.

Why?

Well one it relates to his episodes. The day he had his tempter explosion, it really took so much energy out of him. He has this unwanting cycle where after his fit he's in this self bubble of guilt and resentment for even exploding the way he did in the first place. It pisses him off how much control he loses, and then having Taemin be there to witness it doesn't make it any better.

So after a really bad fit, he gives himself a week - or more - to distance himself from the world.

From the things related to his previous episode.

Just a way for him to gather his strength and cope, even if it's probably not healthy since he's practically punching himself into shape with the negative this he says to himself.

And then there's another factor why he didn't reach out to Jeongguk; hospitals.

Jimin physically can't stand being in hospitals.

The second he steps into one, he throws the most uncontrollable tantrum he's ever had while being alone, only ending up being a plain embarrassment when he looks back to it once he's calmed down. Even if he wasn't the one to be treated, he still can't be around that environment.

So in all, even if he wanted to, Jimin just can't make himself reach out right now; To anyone, or face them unless it's just related to ballet.

That's what he's been doing in doors, practicing and practicing. He's also been trying to avoid remembering what happened with Namjoon, but it irked his skin the fact that he began to imagine someone else through that moment and how it got him real riled up.

Whenever that memory comes to him, Jimin forces himself to practice to burn the memory out of his brain; every single time.

Even if it rivers in his memory in his dreams, waking up to only throw up due to his anxiety.

So, as we can see, this past week has been shit for him; lonely and difficult.

Today, Jimin didn't go to ballet practice. He stayed recleaning the kitchen - since he still feels like he can smell his own blood against the tiles - and then worked out intensively to maintain his shape. His eating habits hasn't changed, he's still throwing up whenever something gets into his stomach - so he makes sure to drink tons of water in order to keep himself hydrated enough to feel full.

After he finished up beating himself over to extreme measure of working out, he showered and avoided looking at himself in the mirror as he went back into his room.

He was preparing himself for another day indoors, practicing, and nothing more but that.

At any given moment in the afternoon he knows that Taemin or Jihyo will just barge in his apartment for him to give explanations as to why he didn't go to practice today, and he's already mentally prepared for that.

Without haste, he puts on his pointe shoes while avoiding looking at his ice skates against the wall before moving to his living room.

Music plays and he starts to dance.

Count on me - Bruno Mars

"Did you eat?"

Nods.

"Are you feeling any unease feelings? Hopelessness and emotions of being weak?"

Jeongguk hesitates, but then shakes his head.

"How are you feeling after the overdose? Do you regret it?"

Karma's face scrunches up to this question, slapping a hand to the back of Minho's head, "You don't just ask that you asshole!"

"I'm trying to help all of us understand how he feels! Shit!"

Jeongguk watches the two bicker, exhaling deeply with timid eyes moving to the circle of his teammates around him. After his overdose, his teammates and Hoseok were obviously not so content that Jeongguk even thought about doing that in the first place. While in the hospital, they brain stormed through things on how to take care of each other more as a team, and how to be able to provide a more warm and welcoming environment so they all won't feel so helpless.

That's when they came up with the idea on having these circles. They planned to do it once a week, in that way if there's anything that happens within that time they can bring it in the circle and talk about it.

Not only this but they also made a new rule that was agree between all of them; three compliments per day. What does that mean? Well they all have to give each other three compliments, either motivating or something as small as remarking their style of hair, per day. In that way they all will know they're appreciated by one another, and not doing this as an obligation just because they have to.

And lastly, journaling. Before and after the circle as an obligation but as a choice throughout the week. They thought it would be a good idea that they would journal how they felt or what was running through their minds before and after they talk. In that way they can reflect on things they want to bring to the table, and goals they want to have for the following week. They must state three goals, two things they are grateful for, and one worry they have.

They all have been working well as a team for physical - training and practice - support, but now it's time they go deeper and be there for each other more emotionally and mentally; Just to let out any troubles they've had or have in their lives, and know they're still supported by everyone else.

First circle passed after Jeongguk was released from the hospital. It was a little awkward since they don't usually talk about their feelings to each other, but Woosung being the angel started opening up leading questions that they could jump off from.

And well..... The first circle with no doubt was a bit unsuccessful. Even if they do trust one another, it's obvious a little awkward crossing a new level like this with them, but they did get a few points out here and there while having the focus also being on Jeongguk after his overdose. He only stated that he was just in this haze of being lonely and overwhelmed that he just broke, nothing more left to say than that.

And well.... They all got emotional after he said it and just cut the circle after stating a few comforting words to the ravenette. They did their hour of journaling, a time where they wouldn't have their phone or listen to music to reflect, only a full hour in this living room journaling together.

That's how serious they're taking this. They want Jeongguk to be okay and to be able to confine into them, while also them being able to open up to each other more as well.

They also have developed an emergency code system. They downloaded an app on their phones that shows their current location of all of them team mates, and from there they have a group chat specifically for code emergencies.

If they are having suicidal thoughts, they type in S.

If they are getting anxious, A.

If they want another circle immediately, C.

If they want someone specifically around, the initial of the said person.

And the list goes on.

In that way, if someone isn't around than they'll get the message and go to whoever sent the message in any way. They decided on doing letters just because if it's a severe emergency where they have no control to type, than they just press on a letter and the team will know.

They know though that sometimes it's hard to just reach out to someone while they're in their moments to not burden them, so that's when they have the letter X; Which means that exact same thing. They're not feeling well but don't want to be disturbed, just letting them know and if it gets bad than they'll reach out.

The point in this though is that they want to be able to communicate with each other with whatever they're feeling, that's why they're doing circles and the compliments in order to open up any barriers they may have in regards to communicating their emotions or thoughts.

This is the best plan they have constructed so far, and if it needs adjustment than it will be done so after they discuss it.

So, that's how they're here now for their second circle. To be fair, Jeongguk has been feeling a little better after the first circle. The compliments per day really does help himself feel good being able to compliment his team on simple things, and also receiving them to make him feel confident about himself.

Journaling has also been seeming to help reflect well too, making him feel like he can accomplish small goals that makes sense for him to accomplish and think about how to overcome his worry.

Overall, his team efforts has really moved him, and he felt more gratitude for them than he did before.

They really are a great team.

"Is there anything you want to say before we close it up?"

Jeongguk flickers his gaze up to Hongjoong sitting across him, who's offering a kind smile that silenced Minho and Karma's attention from flinging the other across the room.

There is one thing that has been on Jeongguk's head throughout this week now thinking about it. Not always, but it would storm in whenever he would go to his figure skating practice and have Jackson just focus on him since his partner never showed up. Even while he's alone, in his room, that same thought passed through his head briefly before it goes away.

If this is an open circle.... He can just bring it up and see how they reach, right?

Just to make sure he isn't over thinking in his head about this situation.

So nervously, Jeongguk starts to sign, "Well.... As we all know I am in the figure skating program and not planning on getting out of it anytime soon," He waits, thinking over his words carefully before just giving up, "After my overdose, I haven't heard from Jimin and he hasn't been attending practice."

Every single teammates stays silent, watching his signs attentively to make sure they understand fully what he's saying. Jeongguk pauses, just to check the reaction in the room but to still see them focused on his hands for him to continue.

Just watching, not a single layer of judgement in their eyes.

Relaxing a bit, Jeongguk continues, "I don't know what I should do. We have a show in a month and..... I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore with this."

The team remains quiet, now thinking on how to respond to that. Jeongguk grew nervous now, not knowing what to expect from them or if he even made the right choice. Sure, they've heard the rumors about Jimin and the press, and then with Jeongguk's impulse on overdosing anything could be running through their minds right now.

And thankfully Felix spoke first from leaning back against he coach, "Do you think he knows about what happened?"

Jeongguk nods, "Yeah, Namjoon told me he was with him when he got the call."

A bitter scoff came out of Karma's lips to this, "Maybe he doesn't give a shit-"

"Watch it," Ten, for the first time since the circle, spoke, clear eyes glaring at Karma before looking to Jeongguk, "Do you think he would drop the program after what happened?"

That's something Jeongguk has thought about a lot really. Jimin could've just taken the initiative to drop out after realizing how weak Jeongguk is to handle the public attention.

It's sounds like something he would do. After all he did expect Jeongguk to reach a certain level of professionalism while they work together in this, not completely break down from it and be responsible enough about himself.

But then again this is strange. Jimin hasn't been answering Jackson's messages, even Namjoon mentioned something about him not answering him when he visited two days ago; Which doesn't make sense why Jimin would even answer him if Jimin always mentions how he doesn't like him.

So something could be happening to him.

Problem here is Jeongguk doesn't know whether to leave him be, or approach him about it to start coming to practice and stick yo his end on being responsible.

It's not fair that Jeongguk is still working his ass off on the new routine even after his overdose and Jimin doesn't even make an appearance once, at least to watch and that's it.

This is why Jeongguk brought it up, to know if he's just not thinking willing to himself or is being self centered to not notice that Jimin probably has problems of his own he's facing.

"I don't think he would drop out," Seokjin suddenly says, making Jeongguk look at him now to his thoughtful expression, "He said it himself during your first meeting, once he starts something he continues towards the end. He expected that out of you remember?"

That's true, Jimin wouldn't just drop out like that.

So then what?

"Maybe he's in shock to what happened to you?" Felix asks, humming a little into thought, "Or he's not feeling well himself if we think back to..... You know."

The locker room.

His health must not be well either. And who knows if after talking to Namjoon it didn't have some negative affect on him, even though Namjoon did seem a bit more happier when talking about how their meet went; which to some level relaxed Jeongguk to not see his brother upset.

Maybe had their closure?

Woosung suddenly clears his throat, take the attention to him but he only looks to Jeongguk sitting beside him, "Does he have any friends Bambi? I mean besides the girl that was with him?"

That goes without saying. If Jimin is as hard headed and stubborn as he is with Jeongguk, the only friends he probably has is Jihyo and Taemin.

So he shakes his head, still unsure.

Hongjoong suddenly smiles, sitting up right, "What about if we do something for him? Yeah? I mean he must always be exhausted and lonely because of practice, so maybe he doesn't have time for himself. Perhaps he has something going on and is isolating himself?"

"With his attitude, don't doubt it," Karma mutters, but eases up by Felix's subtle stare, "But I guess you guys could be right."

And suddenly the energizer, Minho, shoots up from the ground with an excited smile, "Well let's reach out! We can't jump to conclusions on his current state if we don't know. So... Let's plan something! Then he'll be motivated to go to practice and bam! You guys can do another great performance!"

Jeongguk's eyes dilated, looking at his team in shock.

They're actually being serious about this?

"But there's so much snow outside, what can we do?"

"We can invite him over? Maybe for a get together or something?"

Felix shakes his head immediately, "No, don't. He doesn't like people so much."

"Then what does he like?"

Everyone's eyes falls to Jeongguk, who sits there with knees to his chest and vulnerable eyes staring at his hands before looking at them.

What does Jimin like? He doesn't like much things..... Or stands a lot of things.

Jeongguk recalls all the moments he's spent with him, every detail to remember when he would demonstrate when he's happy or upset.

But Jimin rarely is happy about anything -

A light bulb flickers in Jeongguk's head, perking his head up.

That's it..... Shit why didn't he think of this earlier?

Everyone leans forward, eager to know the reason why Jimin's smile suddenly stretches up widely with starts sparkling his eyes.

He's not sure if it'll make him happy or even motivated to go back to skating, but he knows damn well it'll make Jimin whatever is going on relaxed.

And it's going to work.

_________________________
A/N:
Ahh next chapter is about to be real cute.

Gather your Uwu machine and a warm blanket again.

You're about to see multiple interactions!

I PURPLE YOU! <33