Four Seasons: Spring - Vivaldi

New Years Eve arrived quicker than Jeongguk expected, and it's obvious plans were made to do something on such a special occasion for all the skating athletes- Or everyone in general.

Which is today.

The Olympic skating teams, who uses the rink, have reached out to each other- well mostly Minho- and planned on blasting big a party for celebration. Jessi from the Women's hockey team and Amber from the Curling team has put their own efforts to rent out a ballroom at a hotel for skating members only, or invites from the skater. That money to rent was an involvement from the other athletes in putting their own part for it, so it wasn't just the three of them doing all of this on their own.

After all, what a nice way to end the year right? With a huge party.

That's how Jeongguk is here, right now, in this hotel ball room; surrounded by music and Olympic Athletes. The room is vast, high ceiling with ivory colored walls with a few fake candles sconces of elegant designs spread out with dim lights. One end of the room is curved unlike the other side, with large windows connected to gazing out to the city lights and a view of the Han river. The place itself is decorated with lots of New Years balloons and neon lights to the dim atmosphere. Tables are decorated with snacks and drinks, an open dance floor that's already coated with people moving to the DJ intoxicating the atmosphere with their music.

This is not the first time Jeongguk has been to a party before, but this one specifically involves everyone who are athletes on the ice, so it's definitely much more familiar faces around him who knows him rather than strangers who just find him attractive. Usually they don't have events like this that they do together, but in celebration for most of their big wins for the ice events, why not celebrate it together?

It's two hours before New Years, and the party is already running wild. Alcohol is already pumping through everyone's blood system, hot atmosphere, a few loud voices here and there that thankfully Jeongguk doesn't have to hear.

An advantage to not having his hearing aids on, even though it would be wise if he would converse with people to exercise his social skills. However the people he usually associates himself with already knows how to sign, and not like he's actively out there to meeting new people either way.

That's why he's by the corner of the ballroom, where the circular window walls are, gazing outside with champagne in hand that he barely sipped on. It was actually quite hard to drag him here to say the least, especially since he didn't have much of an outfit choice to choose from.

So his brother and the twins helped him out with a little shopping. Taehyung really wanted to pamper him with sparkles, saying it would enhance the killer in his eyes, while Karma wanted a more wine red for him.

It was a complete mess, but thankfully Namjoon came to the rescue on a perfect outfit choice.

Now Jeongguk is here dressed in black fitted slacks with a black loose button up shirt beneath his black blazer. Taehyung argued that that shirt is more of a blouse than a formal button up shirt, which is clearly something he was not complaining about since it just made him look approachable.

Either way, Jeongguk is comfortable right now; that's all that matters to him.

His gaze remains outside the window despite feeling the rise in vibration beneath his feet, sighing heavily to the buzzing noises drumming against his ears to the faint music in the back ground, before turning to face back to the crowd.

Seems like more and more people keep arriving, growing drunk with the beverages and enjoying their hectic night in celebration without thinking of facing practice the next day. The more Jeongguk stares at them, their wide smiles and excitement, the more he just began to wish to have that same joy too.

If only he could speak.

If only he could be able to enjoy and hear the music without the stinging of his hearing aids.

If only he can even hear properly!

Just.... If only.

Now standing alone here, surrounded by people, Jeongguk felt more like an outcast.

He hates it.

And what he hates the most is that self anguish of being so damn weak.

The brief memory of being so helpless in that training room a few days ago fogged his mind like a cloud, provoking his grip to tighten on his glass with his lips twitching in a snarl. He hates thinking of Jimin witnessing him in a state of so much vulnerability and fear to the point he didn't even know what to do with the situation.

Whenever Jeongguk gets his episodes, he really prefers being around someone he trusts to ease him down.

Jimin was the only one there, and if Jeongguk didn't use him to ground himself than he would fear what may have happened to him. It still filled Jeongguk's heart with a heavy weight of displease, even if Jimin never mentioned it again. The next few days that followed, Jimin only focused on the routine while directing Jeongguk here and there on his posture and grip on him that he should hold him; Nothing more than that.

Jeongguk is actually grateful he didn't say anything about it, then again it shouldn't be surprising that he remained quiet about the incident. Jimin is a natural uncaring person as it, only caring about himself and his own progress, so he's not one to reach out about empathy for the well being of someone else he barely knows.

If that day were to come, Jeongguk would definitely consider asking Jackson for a partner change because the last thing he needs is for him and Jimin to grow closer. The distance they have now is perfect, just as partners.

For Jeongguk, his brothers sake.

Either way, Jeongguk doesn't have to worry about that.

Jimin isn't that type either way.

Speaking of Jimin, he's suppose to attend this event as well. Since him and Jeongguk are now part of the Figure Skating Program, Jimin is now part of their little 'ice groupy' and was invited by a very enthusiastic Taehyung yesterday when him and Selgui arrived to their time of practice after Jimin and Jeongguk finished up.

Now will he come? Who knows.

Knowing Jimin, anything is unpredictable with him. If he knows Namjoon will be here than it's guaranteed he will not show his face around this area.

Je t'aime - Kelly Sweet (Nightcore, male version)

"No."

"Please, stop being so stubborn-"

"NO!"

"You need to get out more!"

Jimin huffs back, annoyed, arms crossed as he sits on his bed, "Is going to practice not good enough for you?"

Taemin scoffs while continuing his scanning through Jimin's walk in closet, trying to pick out an outfit for that stupid New Years event. It was definitely a mistake for Jimin to even mention that stupid event in the first place. He thought Taemin would be against it for the sake of him resting after working his ass off for ballet and skating today, but no it was the total opposite.

He immediately rushed here, just as Jimin finished showering to get ready to observe his video he took today during ballet practice, and raided his closet for outfits to choose from. He even had the audacity to call Jihyo to help him, but unfortunately -thankfully for Jimin's skate- She was out already with some friends already for her celebration.

And Jimin has taken this time now to try to convince Taemin to forget about the event, but the more he did that the more Taemin was eager to get Jimin out of this apartment. He keeps ranting off to how Jimin has no social friends and needs to go out and enjoy life for once, instead of practicing so much.

Clearly, Jimin doesn't like people so why would he make the effort?

"No, you need to go to a new ambient," Taemin dismisses and pulls out a sparkling gold blazer, gagging in disgust "Ew what is this?"

"You got me that, asshole."

Taemin cringes at the material and throws it to the ground, "Remind me to burn it, it's hideous," He mutters and continues scrolling through his shirts, "Do you prefer comfortable or sexy?"

Right now Jimin was really considering burning down his whole closet just so Taemin would stop looking through it.

Ha, if only.

Sluggishly Jimin slides off the bed, moving his feet to stand by the door frame where the entrance to the closet is. Jimin wouldn't exaggerate saying that it's big, but spacious enough to move around with an island to the center where his accessories are and collection of ballet shoes.

A navy blue button up shirt is pulled out of his collection, earning a grimace in return from both men to which resulted with Taemin grunting and throwing it around as he continues his desperate search.

So Jimin thought of another strategy on how to approach this.

One that he has tried once in a while, to which involves swallowing his dislike for affection.

He adjusts his wine red silk robe on his body, tugging it more below his upper thighs before striding towards Taemin. Standing behind him now, he daringly caresses his fingers to Taemin's sides from his large baby blue hoodie to reach his abdomen and clasp his fingers together.

Taemin didn't even tense up, only continued to look through his clothes casually, but Jimin's little touchy action didn't go unnoticed, "Trying to change my mind?"

"A little?" Jimin sighs, leaning towards his back with a chin pressed to his shoulder blade, "Remember how you were such a good instructor to me?"

"Jimin, please."

Jimin fights back a grin, turning his face to gently brush his lips against the crook of Taemin's smooth neck, "How did you call it? My gay awakening?"

"That was a long time ago," He mutters bitterly back, slumping in distress with fingers through his long caramel hair, "I know what you're trying to do."

"And you're not stopping me because..?" Jimin drawls slowly, chuckling under his breath with teeth nibbling his earlobe, "One slip up won't hurt, right?"

Taemin suddenly turns around quickly, lips pursed in almost a scowl to Jimin's grinning lips with his hands still around his waist and to the small of his lower back, "We were young and clearly exploring," And Taemin tears Jimin's hands off him, "Now me being your instructor makes it unprofessional. We made a deal that it wouldn't happen agai- Why am I giving you a recap? You're just trying to distract me!"

Jimin rolls his eyes and clasps his cheeks, "Why go to some stupid event when we could catch up here-"

A shirt is suddenly thrown to Jimin's head, followed by a hand pushing his face back. In irritation, Jimin yanks it off, seeing Taemin only snicker at him before turning his attention back to his closet without another word.

Of course Jimin's advances won't work anymore as it use to, Taemin is too professional for that and he knows Jimin well enough that he isn't one to fall like putty for some affection. So this can only be just some seductive distraction, even though they both know if Taemin did give in, Jimin wouldn't grant him the satisfaction to have him and Taemin wouldn't try to pull moves, perhaps the two deciding to watch a movie or something instead.

Unlike how they would act before, in a time where they were younger.

Once upon a time when Jimin got into Seoul Ballet Academy of Arts as a teenager in Seoul, he transferred from Busan after being in their program as a young kid who sneaked into the audition. He didn't really talk to anyone, especially because he had a thick dialect from his home town.

This was before his innocence got corrupt to being narcissistic about himself as how he is now.

The first person he met officially - who he actually spoke to- in that academy was a senior, ballet wise, someone who was far more experienced and in the higher level classes than he was, and it was Taemin. During that time Taemin wasn't an instructor, only a dancer. Big guy in the league actually. Once he went to Jimin's class to observe and demonstrate the routine they had to do for their final in order to rise from the level they currently were in, and that was when Jimin ever saw him for the first time.

From there Jimin would ask him to stay after classes to observe him dancing and teach him how to get better for the final, and Taemin didn't say no to the shy boy with a murmuring habit.

Things between them began to develop to a friendship within that time, growing more and more even after when Jimin ended up passing his final. Taemin's gentle personality encouraged Jimin to speak to him however he wished to, and slowly Jimin felt more confident around his senior. Many moments being shared of sneaking into each other's dorms and practicing over routines, sometimes even going to the city to eat at some cheap restaurants while talking about their lives.

It's a little fogged as to when things got complicated between the two -feelings wise- but it was definitely after Taemin impulsively kissed him one night after a fight they had about Jimin's health of him over pushing himself.

From there..... Their life was constantly walking on thin glass.

Jimin panicked and didn't speak to Taemin after the kiss happened, not like Taemin did either way since he was also gravely uneased by it in a wave of regret. A week or two passed, and Jimin realized he has found a hard time in getting that moment out of his head.

He craved more, woke up hard to the wet dreams, fighting every night and day against that pulse for just a spare moment of physical contact to ignite his body as it did before. Jimin knew he shouldn't be feeling that way, especially for a man, and he knew if he were to act out on his emotions in public than it would possibly get both of them kicked out of that academy.

Yet one night, winter break, rarely anyone was in the dorms since they visited their families for the holidays. Jimin stayed back, having no where else to go, and while he was walking around the inside of the building to distract his mind, he got yanked into a dark room by the arm away from possible eye witnesses.

The second he saw Taemin in front of him, in that silence of his own room, the reassurance of a nod Taemin sent him was all Jimin needed for him to slam their lips together and forget about the consequences that would come by doing this.

That night the two did more than just a simple kiss, but less than making love.

They weren't in love.

But definitely wasn't nothing.

Throughout the whole break there was not a day they didn't spend together. Whether it be sharing tender affections or act like little kids in joy chasing each other around the hallways and the fields. They really were sharing a world of their own, where wide smiles and endless laughter were infinite, all the way to sharing initiate nights together to feel a infinite.

Their secret affairs remained like it was, a secret. They never told anyone about it, acting professional in the eyes of the school, sometimes even like strangers just to avoid any doubts from other students. Yet that wouldn't stop them from sneaking off whenever they got the chance to be in each other's presence, even if it was practicing after classes was an excuse.

And then.... It just.... All changed.

Jimin and Taemin were split apart; Taemin being offered to travel to Russia to further continue his training for the next two years, while Jimin was sent to the States to continue on his training with a group in America but this time learning from more higher professionals; so in reality this was a promotion for him.

For both of them.

And they knew they couldn't hold each other back from this opportunity.

After all, they weren't in love or even in a relationship to have a say in that decision.

Yet it still ached, even if they never wanted to admit it.

So being parted away with Jimin at the age of sixteen and Taemin seventeen, that was the last time Jimin truly felt anything warm for another soul.

Two years passed, no contact was shared between the two from phone messages or even a letter. Jimin was not only in the States as he expected to be, perhaps for a year, but more opportunities began to arise and he was traveling around Europe and most of Asia for more than two years.

He was gaining popularity and praises from big names and companies, no longer being a boy who needed more training- but a man who wanted to perfect his every move he learned by heart with a passion for what he does for living.

Four and a half years passed, Jimin being then nineteen, returned to South Korea for an alumni event he was invited to from his Ballet Academy. A celebration for it's 50th year of running the school and program successful. There was no doubt he saw Taemin there when he arrived to the building, but neither men were the same anymore.

Those childish gleams were replaced with professional exchanges, tight smiles and a brief shake of a hand with little to no words being said. Jimin no longer desired for physical contact, carrying this new vain attitude and speaking of such high standards for himself that he would never dare say before. Taemin no longer was as gentle as he was, now more strict and would exchange a smile here and there for the sake of his reputation, but was colder to others easily with little to no patience.

Jimin was now a worldwide ballet dancing prodigy, and Taemin still holds the title of being the Elegant Angel on the stage but now also holds the title as an instructor for other dancers as well, a privilege for sure whoever were his students.

Even if their hearts were molded to be stone, that little line of connection from their youthful memories still tied them together because Jimin ended up finding himself giving up his previous company he moved to and asking Taemin to be his personal instructor. Permanently. The other man didn't exactly deny, but he was hesitant.

He only agreed but under one condition: What happened in the past, stays in the past. They will only be instructor and student, maybe even friends, but nothing more than that.

And it has been that way, a deal not broken, to this day- five years later.

Now Jimin is part the company Taemin works for, which is still Seoul Ballet Academy of Arts, and only does his shows he puts and dance routines. A privilege for both dancers, since many instructors practically hungered to work with Jimin and many students only wised to be taught by such an experienced dancer. But no longer does Jimin accept being instructed by anyone else, unless it's him, and Taemin doesn't tolerate students so easily who aren't to his expectations; So the two are to the same standard.

So Taemin is more like his manager rather than an instructor.

Or so it feels like at times by how close they are.

As time passed, the two remains with their barriers but they have grown closer as friends just as before, but obviously more matured. There's no one else, besides Jihyo, who Jimin is close to. Taemin has more of his trust just because he knows him better than anyone else.

But there's something he never understood and it's why Jimin suddenly changed from glimmering eyes of hope to be the best dancer in the world to now harshly criticizing himself and other dancers to such high expectations. That's something he never preferred digging into because knowing Jimin now, he will most likely brush it off saying that people are just not good enough these days.

Despite that, no harsh feelings are between the two, but Jimin does try to sometimes use those glimpses of past memories to get Taemin to do whatever he wants if he doesn't want to do something.

It never works.

Even if Jimin does it playfully, in some way deep in his cold heart he longs to feel something again for someone.

To feel that crave of contact but not have that disappointment of it being that they are weak for him. But that's just a hidden desire he has closed up in his heart, denying it at all costs until the thought no longer exists.

Now all that comes with tender contacts is repulse, urgency to escape it immediately or feel unease around it. Around those affectionate touches is just a open hand for weakness, to be soft to the hideous world around them.

Something Jimin will refuse to feel ever again.

So with his not so subtle attempt now, Jimin gives up and leans back against the island, "Can you come with me then? I don't know anyone there!"

"Sorry, no can do," Taemin chirps, humming happily when he pulls out a loose silk green blouse, "I've got somewhere else to go."

This made Jimin scoff, actually considering the blouse since he hasn't worn it in a while, "You going out? With who? MinMin?"

Taemin hands Jimin the blouse and now looks through his pants, "No, with Kim Jongin," Jimin snaps his head up, "You know him right? Tall, brown hair, deep voice-"

"You're spending your New Years with him?" Jimin subconsciously snarls, putting the blouse on the island, "Isn't he one of the dancers? I thought you didn't go out with other dancers?"

Taemin squeaks upon finding a fitted pair of slacks before turning around, meeting with Jimin hard stare before rolling his eyes, "Wrong, just you since you're my student. Besides, we're just going out, not like we can date either way."

"Does he know that you like dick?"

An evident cringe fixes Taemin's face to his blunt words, but Jimin's steady and cold stare didn't go away while he grabs the slacks without even looking at it, "No, he doesn't obviously. It's not like we're going on a date, since I doubt he likes men, just spending the New Years together."

Something in Jimin twitched, and not in a good way.

His hands on the island squeezes tight when he leaned back against it, eye twitching with grinding teeth together as he tries to control his tongue when Taemin moved to pick his shoes, "And if he pulls moves on you, then what?"

"Then.... Who knows Jimin- Why are you so interested?" And Taemin turns back around to him, eyebrows furrowed in clear annoyance, "Calm down-"

"How the fuck am I suppose to calm down!" Jimin couldn't hold back but exclaim, eyes deadly dark to Taemin's own stubborn stare, "You don't know this guy and what if he actually wants to drug you or something?"

Now Taemin's face crumbles in disbelief, blinking a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating by what Jimin just said, hands out now to rub down his face, "Did you really just- Jimin for the love of- The way your mind runs is outstanding," He huffs under his breath, glaring now, "You think I will let anyone easily drug me?! We're just going out!"

"Yeah and you never know what his intention may be," Jimin scowls with arms crossed, eyes narrowed, "And what if he just wants to get in your pants huh-"

"THEN IT FUCKING HAPPENS FOR ALL I CARE!"

Silence.

Just silence.

Meanwhile Jimin's blood rages in a threatening anger to the point that he couldn't even look at Taemin in the face anymore. He's gripping the edge so death threatening tight to the island in order to keep himself grounded from actually thrashing the entire room right now, and his mind is not exactly helping himself as it only continues to run over the worst case scenarios.

And with Taemin just.... Saying that....

Fuck.

The instructor began to notice the way Jimin's eyes began to gloss under the dim lights of the room, shaking now with this instability he's holding back. Jimin is usually the type to hold in fierce bubbling emotions in front of others, only letting it out when he dances or sometimes when he's alone where he releases his tantrums of overwhelm.

Taemin knows better than anyone that Jimin does have a best interest at heart, especially for him, and he just lost.... His way of expressing himself. He hasn't been then same after those three years of traveling, Taemin knows something must've happened for him to change this way or conditioned him to be like this, but all he can do is be patient and try to understand him somehow.

He doesn't like seeing him upset.

So that's why Taemin slowly relaxes, placing a hand on Jimin's shoulder, "Jimin, I'm sorry okay-"

"Get out."

The words eased out in a low and quiet growl, trying to coat the whimper that nearly cracked out towards the end of his fragile voice. Jimin didn't care. He didn't care how harsh he sounded. Taemin hurt his feelings, far more than he thought he did, and he doesn't want to see him.

He needs to be alone.

Taemin's face falls to his words, "Gatit-"

"Don't you dare fucking finish that!" Jimin roars, facing him now. Brunette waves of hair curtain his face, still not being enough to conceal the piercing murderous glare through his orbs. His body is heaving hard, puffing so feverishly that it looked as though he just might kill Taemin on the spot.

And Taemin was not fazed by it, even though he should be shaking in fear and running out of this room right now.

Jimin wouldn't hurt him, that much he knows from him, and this is not exactly something new for him to witness. From time to time he's been a witness of Jimin's emotional outbursts, and should know by not to press so hard on those wounds.

Yet he did tense up when Jimin leans to his face, such a hateful gleam gazing back to him that was like pouring poison into his body, "Get out. NOW!"

Taemin stares back to him silently, lips quiet to respond as he takes in Jimin's teary eyes and intense exhales of breathes to control his rising unstable emotions. Jimin didn't bulge, or even blink an eye with a shiver of regret in his features.

So without fighting back, Taemin only slowly nods to him and retreats his hand from his shoulder and goes to exit the door. However before he could officially leave, a hand snatches his wrist, holding him in place. Taemin didn't turn around, only gulps thickly to the shakily hold in clear reluctance on to what to do.

Jimin stares to Taemin's back with wobbling lips, frustrated and conflicted despite this wrath shaking his senses. His mind is in knotted whirls, not knowing which one to follow or believe is the correct one. His conscious are in constant tugs and fighting against each other, driving him fucking insane.

His mind and emotions are running on different wavelengths, and he doesn't know how to control this impulse on how to act, even if he wanted to.

Taemin let's out a heavy sigh, turning his head to the side, "I'm your instructor and you're my student, don't forget your place."

And with that he tugs his wrist from Jimin's grasp, walking out of the room without turning his head back once. Jimin is trembling uncontrollably, twitching hands and whistle breathes breaking his lips in shutter sobs that he desperately held back until the front door closes shut.

Jimin hand snatches a random object around him, not knowing what the fuck it was, and swings it somewhere in the damn room, releasing a frustrated scream with tears breaking his eyes in gushes down his cheeks.

And he doesn't know why.

Why he always does this, or is even feeling this clutching ache in his chest tangled in so much suffocating emotions.

He just can't seem to make it stop, and he hates it.

_________________________

A/N:

Hi lovelies!

I hope you all are doing well and staying safe.

It's currently 2 A.M. and I can't sleep very well.

There's a lot of lightning going on right now and well they're a horrible negative trigger for me mentally and emotionally. Writing this chapter really helped me be grounded to the present, so I'm sorry if I'm rambling a little right now I just don't want to focus on what's going on outside.

There was also a tornado warning, which was definitely a bit of a scare, so let's just say my emotional state now isn't so.... Well.

However writing and editing this chapter really did help distract my mind for a while and I hope you all enjoyed it so well.

I PURPLE YOU! <3