It was weird how life could change within the blink of an eye. Jesse had already experienced big changes in his life, events that shifted everything he'd ever known.

Most of them negative. Jarring his entire life in such a way, it would never be the same.

To experience it again but this time in a good way, was more than he could've hoped for.

Even though his mind still presented him with images of abuse, of the sensation of disgusting fingers digging into his skin... now there was a positive as well.

When Jesse felt Xavier's body heat seep through the man's clothes, it made him feel comforted and loved. The slight, gentle touches of the man made him shiver pleasantly.

And while the memories of his abuse lingered, slowly but surely Xavier was balancing them by providing good, pure memories.

Jesse sighed softly, leaning against Xavier's chest as the Improba was focusing on his paperwork. When he had approached his mate earlier, shyly wishing for a hug, Xavier had responded by pulling Jesse in his lap.

Enveloped in the man's warm embrace, Jesse now struggled to not fall asleep. Enjoying the warmth of their embrace and listening to his mate's heartbeat was extremely soothing.

A little shiver darted over his spine as Xavier hooked his chin over Jesse's shoulder. Pressing a gentle kiss against his bared skin that made the pixie smile and flush at the same time.

It was still weird, still new but he didn't dislike the gesture. It didn't sicken him to the core or made Jesse relive those awful memories.

In fact, lately a mere touch or gentle kiss from Xavier had managed to pull Jesse out of his nightmares. The warmth and comfort that Xavier offered him in those tiny gestures was more than Jesse could've hoped for.

His eyes flitted towards the paperwork, scanning over the building plans, project outlines and other stuff the compound was planning.

Jesse's finger tapped on a small mathematical error, making Xavier release a sigh before thanking his mate profusely. "I was wondering where the issue was in funding, that explains it." Xavier nuzzled against Jesse's skin, making him shiver visibly, much to the delight of his mate.

Even if Xavier never voiced his interest, each time he had managed to soothe Jesse or made him squirm, it had always been answered by one simple gesture.

A smile hidden against Jesse's skin.

It was progress, albeit small. To be able to accept this gesture, to feel without fear...

Jesse squirmed away when Xavier's stubble rasped over his sensitive skin, drawing the Improba's attention. The low, steady rumble of amusement turned into a bark of laughter when Jesse squeaked and backed away from the tickling sensation.

"Didn't know you were that ticklish darling." Xavier murmured softly as his fingers crept to Jesse's sides. Jesse inhaled sharply before cackling as he was tickled to the point he could hardly breathe and even then, Xavier would barely give him a moment of reprieve before aiming for his sides again.

His wild flailing even knocked some of the paperwork off the desk but neither of them paid attention to such an insignificant detail. Kicking and flailing, flopping over to the floor before Xavier caught him again and tickled him with a giant grin on his own face.

It was only when they were both panting and Jesse groaned in soreness that Xavier finally had mercy on him.

"You have a gorgeous laugh." Xavier admitted, making Jesse's flush brighten even further, panting as he laid on the floor. "It's very addictive and makes you laugh along with it."

Jesse blinked back sudden tears yet continued smiling as the Improba flopped down beside him, staring at Jesse with a tender smile.

"Hearing that soft giggle makes me hungry to hear the full laughter hiding beneath. Where your laughter becomes breathless, where the pure joy you experience makes you weak in your knees... It's an amazing feeling to share darling. Thank you."

"It's just a laugh..." Jesse muttered, feeling shy at the attention aimed his way. Xavier simply shook his head, gently helping Jesse upright before brushing his knuckles against Jesse's cheek.

"It's more than just a laugh." Xavier explained while they both cleaned up the mess they made. "Seeing you smile brightens anyone's mood. There's pure joy in your voice whenever you laugh, a sound that is so addictive you can't help but want to hear more of it."

Jesse flushed awkwardly, not really knowing what to respond to that. He wanted to deny it but Xavier quickly pointed out a simple fact. "Haven't you noticed that anyone who knows you, seems to brighten up when you approach? I mean, look at Ian. Not to mention the two Leshen roaming around camp."

It made the Deprived blink, stunned for a moment as he recalled the latest encounters with his fellow Deprived. Jesse had always sought them out because they were nice and kind. They'd always seem to smile and brighten his own mood, loosening up and managing to have a steady conversation going.

I did that?

It was hard to believe as almost everything Jesse touched, turned to ruin. The relationship with his mother, James' very own life...

He cringed back and whined when Xavier flicked his forehead with a scolding look. "You were not responsible for the choices other people made. Your mother chose to be a disgrace of a parent and abandoned her son. Those filthy Improba chose to target you and James when they could've left you alone."

Jesse knew as much, but it was so easy to blame himself. Everyone had always blamed him before and slowly but surely, he'd come to accept he was to blame.

To slowly understand he was actually the victim in all those situations, was hard to accept. Even now, after everything Jesse had experienced, he still felt inclined to blame himself.

Why let others put you down if you could just lower your standards and do it yourself?

Jesse sighed, knowing it was a bad habit he couldn't quite shake yet. He was trying, honestly, but it was so easy to fall back into those bad habits in the first place.

As the room was cleaned, Jesse was instantly tugged into Xavier's arms, where he easily accepted the sweet and tender kiss given to him.

Their lips lingered for a moment, noses nuzzling together before they parted with a smile.

Jesse awkwardly straightened his clothes a bit before heading to his own desk. Needing to distract his mind for a moment and focus on his work instead of the sensation of Xavier's lips against his.

Xavier's chuckle echoed through the room as he approached and feathered another kiss against Jesse's temple before murmuring, "I'll leave you to your bookkeeping."

The only response Jesse could produce was an unintelligible sound and a shaky nod as his mate walked towards his own desk. Moments later Jesse could hear a pen scrawl over paper, making him relax and sigh out a long exhale.

His heart thumped nervously as his brain drifted into the gutter. Sneaking little glances at Xavier and quickly averting his gaze whenever the man moved the slightest bit.

Yet Jesse couldn't help but wonder... If Xavier already managed to make kissing this pleasant, what would he do if they were to go further?

He shivered, not unpleasantly so and smiled to himself. Slightly elated at the fact he could even consider such an act with Xavier without feeling sick to his stomach.

Though he did wonder how to press onward, to actually be intimate. His mouth dried at the idea that he had to initiate it. Instead of panicking, Jesse took a slow, deep breath like he was taught to in his multiple therapy sessions.

Xavier would respect him whatever his choice may be, the Improba had said as much. Biting his lip, Jesse's gaze flitted to the papers in front of him and blinked.

I could ask Sophie for advice...

Surely any Deprived who has been here longer than him, had made so much progress, could guide him in the right direction? After all, Jesse had heard there were Deprived just like himself, having found their Chosen Mate, their second chance at happiness.

One of them could help him with this hurdle. If they were willing.

The only way he'd know, is to ask.

After he finished his paperwork, Jesse left for Sophie's bakery after another quick kiss with Xavier. He observed Xavier from the doorway, smiling as the man focused on his own work.

Jesse appreciated the freedom he was given, knew it was a freedom that was a right to most people. For him, it was a novelty.

Tucked beneath a thicker hoodie, Jesse pushed past his front door and made a beeline for Sophie's. There were several other Deprived already there or heading towards her bakery, eager to sample her goods.

Jesse's stomach growled audibly, eyes instantly landing on the sausage rolls just out of the oven and audibly gasped when he saw Sophie plop a small pizza in the oven.

"Hi sweetie." Sophie waved him closer, offering him a plate of goodies before following Jesse's curious gaze to the pizza. "Oh that, Annie wanted to test if she could remember her Nona's sauce recipe. She's wanting to try cooking on her own but never made dough before."

There was an eagerness that swept through the Deprived and an eager growl from Tristan, who grinned with anticipation. "Gods, it's been ages since I had a genuine pizza. None of that frozen shit but fresh pizza."

The werewolf groaned audibly, making several others chuckle and hum in agreement. And as Jesse approached the table, he now noticed the smiles brightening as he smiled shyly in greeting.

How formerly quiet Deprived keeping to themselves now started to open up, listening intently whenever Jesse spoke and giving genuine replies.

People seemed drawn to him, making him realize what Xavier had said was true.

They enjoy me...for being me.

His smile brightened on its own, watching as the Deprived around him relaxed and smiled back.

I can be useful.