It's really hard, because I want to tell people how I'm feeling, but whenever someone asks me how I'm doing I just tell them I'm fine and that my life is going great. I don't even know why I lie, because to be honest I don't want to. I want to tell someone that I'm in so much pain that I just want to die, but something inside of me keeps saying "Don't tell them. They don't care." and then my mouth starts telling lies.