I don't want it to seem like I'm fishing for compliments or trying to 'one up' people, because I know that some of the things I'm about to say probably don't even seem like a big deal for some people, but to me, some times its the little things that can bother me, or drive me insane. Other times, it's actually something I need to change about myself. So here we go.

A little background, I'm actually 14, and in my first year highschool. I know things change in highschool, but, just let me finish.

It actually started in grade 8. My grades started going down, and I started loosing friends. At first I though, don't worry, it will get better, be patient. Things never went the way I hoped, but I always thought about the positives.

Highschool came and I met up with people that I spoke to, and some of the few friends I haven't entirely lost yet. The first few weeks, and everything went fine, my grades were nice and high and I had at least a few people talk to, but that was just the first few weeks. My grades started dropping again, the people I used to talk to, gradually stopped talking to me.

At some point, I only had one true friend left, I hope. I'm really lucky to at least have her. But she has other friends too.

I'm gonna explain something so that things aren't too confusing. My friend goes to her house everyday for lunch, she's allowed to bring only one person according to her parents.

I'm promise I'm not clingy, I understand that she has other friends. So sometimes, she would tell me that she was gonna bring another one of her friends with her somedays. I understand, so I tell her it's ok, and I'll find something to do. In reality, I sit by myself, in the hall in front of my locker.

It hurts me to see people I actually used to talk to, just pass me without even looking at me.

Another thing, I have a tom-boyish attitude, I don't talk about boys much, or wear dresses, skirts, or dressy outfits, I don't wear make up, nor do I know much about it. So I can barely talk to other girls. But, I'm also still a girl, I don't watch sports, I don't play sports, I play basic video games like Minecraft, but I don't play Call of Duty or stuff like that, so I barely talk to guys either.

I know some/most of these things are stereotypical, I know that not all girls talk about dresses, boys and make up, that's why I'm still friends with the one girl I mentioned, she's a little like me, only difference is she enjoys watching sports and such, so she has more guy friends than girls.

....

One night, I had a test the next day, it was a unit test for something, and I barely knew anything about the unit. I had tried studying for at least a little everyday, but the information, just never got to my head. It was 1 in the morning and I was stressed. I just broke down, I was sobbing, I felt like sh*t. I never did ace the test, nor was I expecting to. The night after that, I was contemplating on how I could improve my grades. I thought, study harder, pay as much attention in class. I did, nothing better. I thought, again, look at the positives, it usually worked, but instead, I found it hard to find positives, and I just cried again, thinking that nothing was working, and I was gonna fail my first year of highschool.

....

I started this book a while ago, a little before I started highschool, but I only really got involved in this book, during highschool. I realised, that my favorite way of coping was helping people, or at least trying to. I feel like I have somewhere or someone to go to if I feel bad about myslef, I come on here and see the good comments I get, telling me how I helped people, and I makes my day.

I just want to thank you all. I'm thankful for Wattpad, for my readers, for my followers. This seems like something not everybody would probably say, but without all of you, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Most people thank celebrities for inspiring them and helping them, I'm thanking all of those people who read this and comment. I've been told I probably don't have many friends because I spend too much time on the internet, that's probably true, but I feel like you're all my friends and family! Once again, thank you for being there, for me, and for eachother!