Thanks again GraceFullbuster for your suggestion. I really appreciate it.😀 I need your thoughts guys. What should I do next?
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My boyfriend and I cuddled closer only minutes before. I could feel his warmth against my cold skin. Recently, I've felt numb. I have no scars, no tear-stained cheeks, no seen reason to hate living in my own skin. The truth though? You don't need scars. You don't need to have shed tears. I lay there, looking at his sleeping figure as he snores lightly. I cuddle into his chest and I feel water prick at my eyes. I began to softly sob in his arms. I kissed him goodbye and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and pointed the tip at my chest. With a deep thrust, it almost stabbed my heart. I woke up to JJ holding me tightly, a look of concern on his face. He wiped the tears from my face and kissed me softly. "What's wrong sweetie?" His voice was tired and worried. I buried my face in his chest and cried. He held me more firmly and kissed my head. "Rosa...?" I sniffled and explained. "I just...I had a dream. I kissed you, went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Next thing I knew I...I-I stabbed myself..." He looked at me shocked. "Baby, why didn't you tell me? Is something wrong? Why would you dream of..." My eyes teared up as his widened. "Sweetie are you...suicidal?" I froze. I nodded and looked him in the eyes. He held me again and kissed my head. "Honey, you...you don't need to hide from me. I'm willing to fight with you. I promise." I held him and smiled a bit, still crying. "And I'll fight as long as I have you." We snuggled close and I fell asleep in his arms.