you'll have to find that out by yourself...
that was the quote that made it hard for me to fall asleep these days...i slept for 30 minutes, maybe...maybe less...but it doesn't matter...just matters that i almost fell asleep at school but i didn't cause i knew i'd get detention or beated up again...
monday was normal like always, bullied and beated once again for not bringing money...i do have some money because i help my neightbours...i know i didn't mention it before...i just forgot okay? it's too much misery to write down that i forgot to write about what i do when i don't want to do anything at my place, i don't like being outdoors and i just do it to get some money so i can buy stuff for Mighty, why don't i buy food too?because the money is not enough...i care about Mighty's health more than mine, maybe that's my problem...
so back to school...i was on my class and drawing the same star "mind if i sit here?"a male voice asked next to me, i stopped drawing but i didn't face the guy but i knew he was talking to me, the class was quiet for a while, i looked around the room and realized that the only available seats were 2 next to me and i was in the middle of them, then i looked at the guy and blushed, he was kinda attractive...but i turned my head and hid the blush"don't speak to her!she's a freak!"Mandy said,I looked sad to my draw, the guy sat on the seat on my left and took his things off his bag"James since you just arrived and we're in the middle of the class you dont have to write anything"the professor said and kept with his class...
i kept drawing and the guy looked at it"that's called privacy invasion you know?"i asked with my cold tone "s-sorry"he said, i kept quiet and kept drawing on my notebook.
when the class ended, i picked my stuff and walked to the calmest place of the school and sat near a tree, i didn't want to face that bullies today, i just don't feel like it today...i'm too tired to face them.
i began thinking about Mighty and Smiley Mask, they are my only friends...i thought of what we went through and began thinking that i should begin to eat more...but my thoughts were interrupted when i heard footsteps approaching my, i waited for bullies to come but instead came the new guy, James "leave me"i said as i looked down so i wouldn't blush but my sewn heart was beating fast, i never felt this way...silence filled the air and nothing moved, it was just like it was a paused movie, then i heard more footsteps and looked to see Mandy and the other bullies, they had left Mary at the canteen, maybe...they were walking right at us so i just stood up and left without saying anything, i didn't cross paths with them, i just took another turn...
I went to the library,got a seat and made a draw,the bullies don't come to the library because it's too quiet and because they can't speak or beat anyone there, maybe it was my safe place but i don't like the library either i just go there to study and read some more books and also to draw.
When i was finishing my draw i heard footsteps approaching me, i stopped drawing as i realized that the footsteps stopped next to me, i took a look to face the person who was now next to me and met eyes with James's,i blushed a bit and turned to my draw so he wouldn't see me blushing.
my sewn heart was beating really fast and i was getting really nervous...i never felt that way before...but i realized i had made something wrong...

i kept looking to my draw and tried ignoring James, my blush faded but my heart never stopped beating fast and it was hard to keep my cold expression"that draw of yours looks good" he said but i kept quiet "i was thinking that maybe...we could meet after school and you could draw me"he said, i did nothing for a while "what makes you think that i'll waste my time drawing you?"i asked "well...since you got talent i thought that i could pay you if you made me a draw..."he said "if you change your mind...come meet me this afternoon at my place"he said and left a paper on the table next to my draw and left.
i sighed, putted the paper in the trash, closed my notebook and with that i left to class, i didn't pay attention to class not even to James who was trying to get my attention, then i began thinking that he was more than just a cute boy, i was sure that he was a bad person but i still found him attractive...how and why do i think that?m y head and my heart are a mess...seriously i should stop coming to school...
later on i went home and smiled as mighty jumped on me while i was laying on my bed and i petted him "I met someone today Mighty...he was human..."i said, he turned all his attention to me "His name is James...and he followed me the whole day...he is kinda attractive but...he is kind of annoying...maybe he's just a flirt..."i said"maybe he is just like the others but he's hidding it...i can not let my guard down,i just wanted to stop feeling this way..."i said, i kept speaking to Mighty the whole afternoon not only about James,of course i dont care about him to speak about him for hours...and later i fed Mighty and left myself keep starving, i'm still not eating anything, i went to bed and slept.

i feel that something is wrong with that guy...