I woke up feeling angry for no reason, i just felt like being angry at the world...it was thursday, i should be happy that tomorrow is friday but im not that happy though...
i got ready for the day, my usual clothes, my black long jacket, my necklace, my room keys and school bag and realized it was still early to leave, i still had some pain from yesterday but i just ignored it, it wasn't as painful as yesterday's events but it was something.
I played with Mighty and became thoughtful for a while...it's funny how no one in the house hears me speaking to Mighty, maybe they don't care or maybe they are listening to me and pretending they don't so that later they can find a way to destroy my life once again, that's why i always whisper to Mighty instead of talking normally...
Then i decided to leave once again and my dad came at me"so how are your marks at school?"he asked"it's not of your business"i said and tried to leave but he got on my way"move, i'm going to be late"i said, he did nothing but stand there on my way and blocking the exit, i grunted my teeth and was ready to jump on him but i took a deep breath.
I went to my room and locked the door behind me and decided to leave by the window, if he doesn't let me out by the door,i have to leave by the window right?
i got out by the window, closing it behind me and jumped it to the ground, i almost couldn't land on my feet but managed to do so and walked to school, some people may have heard 'school is your second house' and some would say 'no, it isn't' but my opinion is different from theirs 'i guess it is my second house, there's people bullying me and beating me in both places and i used to starve in both places, there's no much different from being here and my house'
then i heard those two voices behind me and so i decided to turn and go another way to school, the same i take everyday where i cross paths with kai there i crossed paths with him again"good morning"he said"good morning, sorry but i can't go to the park today i just don't feel like going there today"i said"it's okay, so do we plan something for one of these days?"he asked"let's meet on saturday here at this time"i said, he nodded"good luck in classes"i said"you too"he said and we kept on our way to school.
as soon as i got there i went to class, i was late already, class? Maths, i forgot to mention, the maths teacher was Mandy's dad, i'm fucked again, like his daughter, he is cruel and heartless, he even supports her when she bullies me, i just got in the class"sorry i'm late"i said, the whole class stared at me"where were you miss Fernandes?"he asked"i had problems coming"i said and sat on my seat and made draws, the whole class kept focused on the teacher"miss fernandes, you have test right now, i hope you studied because it's the hardest test i've ever made and it's only to help you with your mark, but if you fail it, you'll have the lowest mark in class"he said and putted the test in front of me,i didn't study for the test, but i didn't panic either, then i took a look at the test"there is stuff we didn't learn yet"i said"be quiet and solve it"he said, i grunted my teeth and began writing random maths stuff, i even wrote things that i didn't knew if it really existed or that it was invented by me, i'm the worst in maths but i do know something so i used it and when i didn't know something, i just made it out of nowhere, random numbers...
i finished it before the bell rang and then i putted the test on the teacher's desk and sat there waiting for class to end when the bell rang the same group of teachers that came here yesterday came in and told us to stay on our seats we did as they said "we did look for prints"one of the teachers said"it was Fernandes wasn't it?"the maths teacher asked"we found out that no one turned the switch, there were no prints but we know that the switch malfunctioned"the same said, i was smiling evily in the inside, i dunno how i did it though."now you may leave to the break"the same said, i stood of my seat and left the class first "but i think you should apologize to your mate since you accused her"the english teacher said "i dont need apologies"i said and then i walked to the library and looked for a horror book in the horror section but i have read them all, then from the corner of my eye i saw a new book and decided to pick it, it had written "Smiley Mask"in yellow, under the name it had a picture of Smiley Mask.
i opened and read the story of Smiley Mask

Smiley Mask was a kind human, too kind actually, he would give anything that people wanted and of course that he could and he also loved to help people, he never told no when people needed his help and sometimes, people would abuse his kindness to get what they wanted but he just ignored it. He was the tallest person in town with the same size as slenderman and he had slender long arms.legs and fingers,some people didnt like him because of his inhuman form and never dared to approach him but a lot of people was his friend and some of them were the ones who abused his kindness.
once he went to the high school, he began being bullied for his slender and tall form and he has met a girl who he fell in love with but he had no strenght to tell it to her but it was too obvious and she ended up finding out before he had told it and he ended up knowing that she already had a boyfriend and that she would never date a guy like him even if she was single.
Since that day, the bullying became worse and he began cutting himself when no one was watching and he never let anyone know about it, not even his parents.
One day he was walking around the woods that were a bit far from the city so no one would be in danger but he wasn't afraid of any wolf or wild animal that would attack him, then he heard screams, he ran to the place where the screams were coming from to see the girl who broke his heart being attacked by 2 wolves, he was going to help but it was too late, she had been killed by one of the wolves already. He sat there crying and then he heard voices.
A group of cops appeared then and ran to them as soon as he saw the slender figure holding the corpse and took them to the city.
when everyone heard of what happened they accused Smiley Mask of killing the young girl but the police proved it wasn't true but it wasn't worth it because no one believed him except his parents. Later that night as he was sleeping, he heard screams and decided to go downstairs to know what was wrong, he saw the gang of the girl's boyfriend killing his parents then when they noticed his presence they pinned him down with a rope and poured all kinds of alchool on him and then threw a switched on lighter at him.
Weeks later, it was time for him to go back home from the hospital, the first thing he did was staring at the mirror, his skin was black, his whole body was black and his face was horrible.
He had no one now as everyone has turned their backs to him, the only persons who supported him were murdered and now he was on his own...some people were found dead that night and he has gone missing since that night and no one heard of him again...

When i finished reading i realized i had 1 minute to go to class and so i picked the book and spoke to the teacher who was taking care of the library"how much do you want for this book?"i asked quietly"i can't sell books"she said "i want this book, how much do you want for this book?"i asked once again and the same reply came from her mouth"will i have to ask again?"i asked, she looked horrified at me and told me i could take it for free.
I putted it inside my jacket and took it to my classroom and then i putted it in my bag.
I was then in english class and kept my attention to class but James just wouldn't shut up for a while "will you shut your mouth or will i shut it for you?"i whispered as i glared at him, then he shutted up.
After class i went out and again Mandy pulled me to the floor, i stood up once again and began walking faster, i knew exactly the next prank i was going to make her fall too...i putted water all over the bathroom floor, she was going there to fix her make up and so i took a chance to do pour water over the floor and i walked out closing the door behind me, luckily no one caught me as i am really careful.
i saw as she walked in with her group of friends and saw as all of them fall to the floor, the door to the bathroom was opened and everyone saw them falling as well as they recorded it, i smiled evily behind them all and then walked back to my classes.
I was sitting on my seat and the bullies came at me"i know it was you who poured that water, bitch"she said,i said nothing"reply to me you bitch"she said and grabbed my shirt collar, i gave her a death glare and she let go of me, the classes then went normally and i payed attention to them all, actually it was too quiet but i just ignored it and enjoyed the silence and accidently fell asleep.

dream
I woke up in the middle of the road, stood up and began trying to find my way home, it was night and i could barely see a thing but i kept on going foward, maybe this road would take me somewhere.
it seemed like i have been walking for hours then and my surroundings were still nothing but trees, as i crossed that woods i finally saw a light and ran towards it.
i realized i had then entered a small house that was in the middle of the woods and looked at my surroundings.
the walls had blood and there were even some corpses near them, i kept on walking deeper into the house until i saw that someone was killing a person, before i could see who it was, i began running out of that house, still going foward on that road without stopping to again be surrounded by trees, i couldn't stop running as i heard footsteps behind me, i knew that killer was chasing me.
as i was running, i noticed that the road led me to a dead end, i just had time to turn to the pursuer "no matter how many times you run, there will always be a dead end"the voice said, it was similar to that voice that came out of my mouth when my brother got on my way the other day, the shadow was going to stab me and i closed my eyes.
End of dream

I woke up with the bell ringing and i looked around, no one was there already, how long was i asleep?
i went home and decided to have a nap, maybe i was just a little tired, maybe it was only a nightmare, people usually have these kinds of nightmares right? It's normal, even in persons like me...It was just a nightmare and nothing more.
I layed on my bed and petted mighty for a while, he seemed angry too, then he just layed next to me and fell asleep as i petted him, I watched him sleep and after a while i began feeling sleeply and soon i was asleep.
I woke up with a knock on the door and i felt something on my hand, then i realized i was on the floor and that i was holding a knife, i don't remember of holding a knife while i was asleep...then the knocks on the door were getting louder, i stood up "what do you want?"i asked"i wanna speak about your marks"my mom said"i already told it's not of your business"i said and sat on the floor"yes it is, we are your parents we want to know"she said "why? because you want me to get money for you? keep dreaming, if i ever get money, it will be for me and i won't give you anything"i said, she kept quiet for a while "you have to pay us the food we gave you"she said "you never gave me food"i said,silence filled the air for a while"but...you have to pay for your room"she said"don't worry, i'll be gone as soon as i get enough money"i said, in the very begining i mentioned about my bag that has all my stuff in it so it is like i already packed my stuff to leave this place, i heard footsteps leaving and so i sighed in relief.
i layed on the floor looking at the ceiling and thought of all these years, the doll...the face in the mirror...i remember now...the face in the mirror in the day that i came from the hospital was the face of the doll that my parents broke...now i gotta find out why i saw the face of the doll instead of mine in that mirror...then i began thinking of Smiley Mask...i miss him a lot...i'd like to speak to him about the story that i read earlier...i pity him...
I layed on the floor for minutes or hours deep in thoughts and then decided to get things ready for next day, i thought of Mary for a while, did she already read the paper, did she understand what i wrote? maybe she didnt... maybe she'll just ignore it...
i snapped out of my thoughts and had dinner with mighty and after that i watched some anime movies like "Spirited Away" and then i got tired of watching and looked at the clock, it was really late, so i decided to turn off the movie, cleaned my stuff and then put my stuff in the bag, closing the padlock and then i layed on my bed, why was i holding a knife when i woke up? i thought as i looked to the ceiling, after thinking about it, i closed my eyes and then i fell asleep.