The next morning Minho woke me up as usual, I dressed in pants and tank top before tying on my boots and strapping on my machete. I met Minho by the door and he kissed my temple, only today he waited at the door as I left to tally the day. After I did I left for the kitchens. I worked in silence the whole kitchen did, I felt my chest ache when only Minho and Alby showed up for breakfast. "Where are all the runners?" I question weakly, but I already knew the answer. "They quit." Minho spoke sharply, but still mindful of his tone, "Oh." I mumble, "Okay," I nod simply before handing the two their breakfast. They ate quickly and waited patiently as I made their lunches, I handed it to them but almost didn't let go. The kiss I placed on their heads lasted a second or two longer, and instead of watching them leave I followed. I followed them to the door where Newt stood as well, I bit my lip as they kissed my head goodbye and shook Newt's hand before leaving for the Maze.

I let go of a heavy sigh before walking back to the kitchens, I made breakfast for the Glader as usual but the Ex-Runners seemed to avoid my gaze as I gave them sharp looks when serving their food. I left the kitchen soon after breakfast and made my way to the Homestead, I did my best to keep myself busy. But my worry grew into anxiety as rain rolled in, I stood under the canopy around Lunch. I had just served out food and was looking up at the rain filled sky hoping Minho and Alby will get out alright. The rain continued to fall, and my anxiety began to show through. My hair once neatly pulled up and out of my face, is now down and knotted from my constant pulling. I take deep breaths as I pace the floor. Thomas, Chuck, and Newt watch me worriedly, but Gally stands abruptly and pulls me to sit down.

Noon turned to afternoon and by then the rain stopped, but there was no sign of Minho or Alby. My anxiety turned into full blown panic as I now disregard my duties and stand at the gates. It seems I wasn't the only one because soon enough the boys gathered with me. I felt my stomach twist as I heard a gear turn, "Come on guys can't we send someone in after them?" Thomas calls, "We can't. It's against the rules," Gally answered. "Either they make it or they don't." He reasons, I felt my stomach twist again as I turned my head. "Come on Love maybe you shouldn't be here." Newt soothes. "I'm not leaving." I spoke sharply, Newt simply nods his head and looks back at the gate. I suck in a deep breath as the gears turn and the gate starts to close. My chest tightens but I still manage to hold back the tears as Anxiety and fear spark every nerve in my body.

"There!" Thomas gasps, my eyes immediately find Minho's figure. But my heart sinks as I see the other figure draped over him, Alby. "Oh Klunk, He's carrying Ably!" I yelp, "Come on Minho! You can do it!" Chuck yells. His shout triggers the boys to yell for him, encouraging him to get here. "MINHO!" I scream, "COME HOME!" I continue to yell. I feel my chest tighten as the walls close, and what it seems faster than usual. "He's not going to make it." Newt realizes as Minho attempts to drag Alby by his feet. "Over my dead body." I snarl taking one step forward, Newt was faster and took me by my arm and held me tight. "MINHO!" I scream trying to pull away from Newt, The door gap getting slimmer and slimmer as the view of Minho and Alby gets less and less. I felt my soul leave my body as Thomas shot off through the small gap, "NOOO!" I scream, completely pulling away from Newt in an attempt to grab Thomas. He slips through my finger and before I can attempt a second grab, arms circle my waist and I'm lifted from the ground. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" I scream, "THOMAS! ALBY! MINHO!" I cry in agony.

I jerk and fight against whoever has me, I eventually hit them one good time as they grunt and loosen their grip. I slip through their arms and everyone else's hands, but the gates officially close as I reach them. A sob falls from my mouth, I press my forehead against the cold concrete and slam my fists into it. The rough texture of the wall is quick to tear my skin, spots of blood start to paint the wall as I continue to slam my firsts into the gates in hopes it will open up and give me my boys back. Nothing but cries and sobs leave my mouth and my throat quickly dries and croaks. My firsts slowly tire out as does the rest of my body, I sink to my knees and press my forehead against the cold walls of the gates. "Did you tire yourself out Love?" Newt's voice questions softly. I pull away from the wall just enough to nod, "Let's get you to bed," Newt whispers. "No." I croak, "No, I'm not going to bed," I whisper. "What is that you need to do? Is it the wall? I can do it for you-" He doesn't get to finish before I snap my head to face him and grip the front of his shirt. "Do. Not. TOUCH. That wall." I growl deeply, "No one touches the wall but me." I whisper letting go of Newt to face the giant gates. "What is it that you need then?" He questioned softly, "Time." I answer simply. Newt nods before slowly moving away leaving here with the giant stone wall that just ate what little hope I ever had to leave this place.

I sat there for who knows how long, eventually I moved to sit and cross my legs rather than let my legs go numb. The sun is setting but I couldn't bring myself to care that I should maybe get inside or take care of my busted knuckles. Wordless murmurs catch my attention, I glance to the side to see two of the boys both whispering to each other and watching me from afar. Fear hit me like a splash of cold water, quickly and without thinking I drew my machete. Both boys jump and quickly scurry off, but I know they'll be back. He always did before it happened, I'm not going to be the victim this time. I remember it so clearly, so vividly, that it haunts me making sure I never forget. When I gave up second I was left vulnerable to the brutality I often forget these boys have, and now with not only Minho gone but Alby too I'm left out in the open. My emotional break must be the icing on the cake for them, like a bird with broken wings just ready for the taking.

I swing my machete when I feel someone get too close to me, "Bloody Hell (y/n) I'm already crippled!" the voice of Newt yelps. Guilt stings my chest as I turn to look at him, the boy looks down at me worriedly, his brown eyes practically drowning in worry. "I'm sorry," I whisper pulling my large blade away from him, "Why are you swinging that thing around?" He huffs sitting down next to me. "It all felt too familiar, being left this vulnerable. Only this time it's worse, I feel naked Newt." I stress as I fiddle with my machete. "(y/n)," Newt spoke softly as realization donned on him, "I can't sleep Newt, I haven't been able to sleep by myself for days. Minho was always the one who let me crawl into bed with him, I felt safe there and now that he's gone I'm TERRIFIED to sleep." I whimper.

"That's okay love, we don't have to sleep. We can sit here all night until the doors open if that makes you feel safe." Newt nods, "No, I can't do that to you." I mumbled. Newt lets out a long sigh, "What if the keepers took turns, Every couple of hours the Keepers will keep you company out here." Newt offers. I sent Newt a small smile, "You don't have to do this for me Newt." I whisper. "Trust me Love, we're all more than willing. And between you and me, from experience, I know you can't be left alone." He murmurs softly. I bit my lip and nodded, I wasn't planning on it but I would be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind.

"So, it settled then. I'll be off to get you a blanket and torch for the night. I'll take the first shift tonight, I'm sure Gally, Clint, and Frypan are willing to keep you company tonight and if they aren't well, they can slim it." Newt finalized. Before I could even argue he hobbled off, a little while later he returned with a blanket and torch in hand, he even came back with two plates of dinner. The sun long since set in the first hour, the second hour started with Newt sitting beside me as I rested my head on his shoulder staring at the wall.

"You love him don't you?" He questions, "I love all of you." I answer. "It's different with him." Newt argues, "I love all of you differently, it's what you deserve. No one deserves to be loved the same way as everyone else, because each one of you is different." I reason. "(y/n), that's not what I mean and you know it." Newt chides, "If you want a straight answer Newt I don't have one. If you don't recall we can't remember anything before being sent up into this shucking cage. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference if I love Minho in ways that are different from the rest of you if it was even true to begin with. I may feel the safest with Minho, but Alby makes me feel like I'm cared for. Minho may make me unconditionally happy, you make me feel like I worry less. We're all just kids Newt, Kids that were forced to grow up way too fast. Because of that we're missing the few pieces that truly make us grown, but we have too many pieces left over to really be kids." I explain softly.

"I think we turned out okay for a couple of brainless boys with one outrageously smart girl." Newt chuckles, "look, all I was trying to say over the years you've always been closest with Minho. Minho was the one who helps you pick up all your pieces and put them together, and when they fall apart he'll pick them right back up and try again. I've seen you do the very same with him. You both look at each other a little too long to be just friends." He confesses. I hum and a small smile slips onto my lips, "It never felt that way." I laugh lightly. "Everyone saw it, even Gally who's as thick headed as they come." Newt scoffs, a laughter breaks from throat and at the sound Newt's smile grows. Newt shifts and looks behind him, I crane my head and look with him. A small flame flutters in the darkness of the Glade, "Ah must be Clint. It seems my shift is just about up Love." Newt hum as he stands.

"Before I go I got something for ya. I didn't know if it's my brightest idea, but I figured it couldn't hurt." He smiles pulling something out of his small bag he carries with him. I almost burst out into a fit of laughter as I see him pull out one of Gally's jars, one that's completely filled to the top. "Don't tell Gally," He whisper handing it over to me, "I don't know if I'm going to drink it, but it's appreciated Newt." I smile while taking the jar. "Trust me Love, if it wasn't you that ended up like this it would have been me drinking myself silly. Think of it as a thank you for keeping from drinking away my problems tonight." He jokes lightly, I roll my eyes as the blonde headed boy. "Goodnight Newt," I muse as Clint comes into view, "Goodnight love," He chuckles, turning to leave as Clint finally comes into focus.