I fell asleep  after a bit feeling weak but as i slept i could feel the jolts and i could feel rough hands stroking my hair with gentle caresses i felt peaceful i also slept soundly that night waking up with the  morning sun i tried to get out of bed only to feel arms wrapped around me at first i did get scared but then  i remembered that i was in killans home.

I turned around  and when i saw killan asleep  i could not help but stare he looked handsome his long lashes touching his  cheek his lips so pink that i had the strong eurge to kiss and despite my trying hard not to i couldn't help but kiss him and  when  our lips touched i felt the jolts i got scared as it was the first time i kissed a boy or anyone my lips were still on his when he woke up   i quickly broke the kiss i felt flustered and scared.

I  got up to leave and that's when i  felt his hands on my arm he gripped  it  but not hard he pulled me back  and i tried to hide my face but killan said firmly

Killan-"Sweet Flower look at me do not hide your beautiful face from me"

I was so nervous that killan was going to slap me  for daring to kiss him  but what he did next made me scared for a whole new reason when i turned around killans eyes were dilated  they were darker and normally a sane person would freak out and run but me i aren't normal.

I felt attracted to his darker eyes  i turned my face and killan grabbed my face between his hands and he kissed me back at first i hesitated but after i joined in killans kiss got hungrier  and i became a starving person i let him devour my mouth  i moaned and groaned at the right moments during our kisses.

When we finally  broke the kiss after an hour or so both of us panting and staring at each other i started blushing.

I wanted to be happy and not feel hurt but my mind had been messed up so bad that i felt like i couldn't teust anyone i enjoyed the kiss  with killan but i feared trusting him with my heart and emotions i know people will call me weird  and insane  but  being  bullied and  hated for no fault  of your own  it makes you rethink life.

While growing up  there were alot of things that affected me and made me hate myself  and so to make myself feel  i used to cut  myself  on my thighs but odd thing was that made me feel.more freakish was whenever i cut myself  i saw my  blood  blackish red and in front of my eyes i saw  my skin heal itself   mending any  mark  i left  on myself  and  making it look like  nothing had happend.

When i first saw this i was  immediently freaked out and i thought i was an alien i kept looking in the mirror obsessivly i would have melt downs and cry everyone heard me  crying and freaking out  yet no one helped me or hugged me to comfort me i had to deal with this alone.

Today as i sat with killan and shared kisses i felt like keeping my  secret to myself until i could trust  him  enough to share this with him after we kissed my mind was frazzled   and killan told me to shower and get fresh so we could go to school together and before i could object to the plan killan kissed me in such a way that i felt  like my  brain had turned to mush.

While i showered  i heard the door open and close and  i did get scared but after looking in the bathroom and seeing it clear  i got relaxed i bathed and then i turned on the bath fan to clear the steam   when it became clear i saw clothes  like shorts and a belly top i put it on  and it was a perfect fit how did killan know my sizes how strange i thought.