17 ━ TOO HUMAN
DEMONS.
( chapter seventeen. )
▹
Edited 12/25/2015 @8:44 PM
Edited 07/13/2016 @4:35 AM
Edited 11/28/2017 @1:38 AM
WHEN THE EXPLOSION HAD finished and Andrea was sure she wasn't dead, both her and Steve took to clearing a path in the rubble that was left. The world around her was hazy and she stood on shaking legs, but she was standing. That was the best she could hope for.
Beside her, Steve picked up an unconscious Natasha and the three quickly made their escape. They wove between what was left of the building and managed to leave the area behind without getting caught. When Natasha came to and was deemed okay to walk, they were already halfway to their destination. The group stopped to rest, hidden in an allyway.
"So, what now?" Natasha asked, but Andy was too distracted to reply. Her mind was still struggling to process what Zola had said.
It was surprising that it was Bucky who still undid her. She didn't know how to feel. They had been married. It was the one thought that overshadowed everything else going through Andrea's mind. There was a part of her that felt an uncertain joy, of course, but it wasn't long before she remembered that it wouldn't change anything.
He was still gone— Bucky was still dead.
Nothing was going to bring him back. They might have been married, but what difference would it make? He was no longer here. Any happiness left in her seemed to die, replaced with a sharp pain that made it hard to breathe.
Yes, they had been married. Yes, she still loved him. But, the only thing it changed was the weight of her grief. It would never stop hurting.
"Andy?"
Andy looked up at the sound of her name, frowning at the concerned expression of her friends. "I'm fine," she told them, "Let's keep moving." She knew what those gazes were asking.
However, they didn't push her. For that, Andrea was grateful. Who in their right mind could possibly feel fine after finding out what she had? Natasha and Steve knew better than to unravel her while they still had a job to do.
And Andy had meant what she'd said. She was stronger now with the knowledge that the last few traces of Arnim Zola were gone— and, there she was, still standing. Still alive.
It wasn't long afterwards that the group arrived at their destination. Steve knocked on the back door of the house and they waited in disquiet. Personally, she felt unsure about who they'd come to, but Andy also knew it was their only option.
Sam opened up the door then, looking completely stunned as he stared at the disheveled faces standing before him. There was no doubt in Andy's mind that they all looked like they'd just been through hell and back. In truth, they definitely came close.
"We need a place to lay low," Steve said and Sam looked over to him. His expression was rightfully wary, but mostly concerned.
"Everyone we know is trying to kill us," Natasha added, looking up to make eye contact with the man.
Realizing the severity, Sam pressed his lips into a thin line. "Not everyone," he replied. Sam stepped aside, gesturing for the group to enter.
Andy gave him her best effort to smile before they entered the house. "Thank you," she spoke softly.
Once inside, Sam lead them to two spare bedrooms and showed them to the washrooms. Andy thanked him once more before he went off to the kitchen. While he wandered away, she heard him muttering something about a 'big breakfast.' Her stomach responded mournfully.
"I can sleep on the couch. You two can have the bedrooms," Steve offered. He kept glancing over at Andy, clearly hovering.
However, she ignored his gaze. Instead of seeking comfort, she made her way over to the farthest room. Inside, she found a bathroom connected to the bedroom and took a much needed shower. When she was done, Andy took to exploring the room, straying from the windows as she glanced around the spacious area.
When she'd finally had enough of the half-hearted distraction, Andrea left to find another one elsewhere. Once she stepped out of the room she took a large breath, not completely ready to let everything sink in. She wandered over to Natasha's room in hopes that it would help her evade her thoughts.
Though, before she could enter, Andy heard Natasha speak, "Do you think she'll be okay?"
Andy hesitated, waiting just outside the door for Steve's reply. It came only a few moments later. "I don't know... and even if she isn't, how could I keep her from going after them?" The question was clearly rhetorical.
"It might do more harm than good to stop her," Natasha agreed. "But, she needs us. If she wants to go after HYDRA, I'm going with her."
"We both will," Steve said.
The conversation seemed over after that. Not that Andy wanted to stick around to hear more. Her own resolve was fading, with the support of her friends being the only thing still holding her together.
Their support made her weak in a way that somehow still felt okay. Andrea had to turn back to her room as the tears came. She didn't want them to see. Andy didn't need their comfort, because what she had heard was enough.
It was enough to finally allow herself grieve and cry in peace.
Whatever HYDRA had done to her— whatever they had made her into— it scarred her. Andy was fragmented and all those jagged edges left raw and open wounds. But, they were wounds that could heal.
Because she had Steve, she had Natasha, and her team. HYDRA could take her home, but they couldn't take the support of the people who loved her. HYDRA couldn't destroy her while she was still breathing. She wouldn't let them.
Curled beneath the blanket on her bed, Andy's tears slowed. The sky was dark and she let her heart feel filled with love instead of loss. It was the undoing of those barriers that likely left her unguarded to the memories.
Drifting off to sleep, Andrea was at peace. It wouldn't last, she knew it wouldn't. She was just too human.
At first, it was all darkness, quiet and calm.
Then, there were screams. Shrill sounds that struck her coldly, as if made by a banshee. It terrified her. Andrea's own cries joined in with theirs. In the dream, she covered her ears in a weak attempt to silence them.
However, she couldn't silence the sounds of the past; Andrea couldn't silence the sounds of the dead coming back to haunt her.
That was when the flashes began. Bits and pieces of her life with HYDRA appearing before her eyes. She saw syringes filled with strange liquids. She saw a red sigil and soldiers standing at attention. She saw a man. A small man, leaning over her with a smile that was anything but kind.
"Our creation is ready," a voice seemed to hiss inside her ears. Andy jerked in an attempt to get away from the sound, but found herself unable to move. She was being strapped down to a table.
Andrea cried out, screaming and begging for mercy as they prepared to rid her of her memories. They were going to erase everything about the person she'd once been. She couldn't even find the strength to stop them.
That's when the pain kicked in. The places where scars lined her body burned, as if being lit on fire and reopened. Andrea felt herself crying and screaming in absolute terror. She wanted it to end. But, her past wasn't quite done with her yet.
With a jolt, Andy awoke, but the state she was in could only be described as hysteria. The scars that lined her back still burned and she couldn't breathe. Her chest felt constricted and her breaths came short and fast as she stumbled out of bed.
Her hands began to glow, gathering vibrant blue energy and Andy struggled to stop it. She was losing control. Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her knees. Andy lifted her head, looking into the mirror on the far side of the room.
The emotion she felt at the sight of her appearance could only be described as horror. Her expression was wild, eyes shining blue, and veins alight with colour. Her scream pierced the silence as every bit of her body exploded in pain once more. With every passing second it only seemed to intensify.
Her powers took over and, before Steve could even reach the room, Andy had disappeared. Steve searched everywhere, frantic, but she wasn't there. Without a trace, it was like Andy had faded out of existence, with only the echo of her screams left to prove that she'd even been there at all.
Andrea was gone.
▹
When the pain began to fade, Andrea found herself knelt against the floor. Her body shivered as she was hit with a draft of cold air. Slowly, she lowered her hands from her ears, tentatively opening her eyes. What she expected to see was the room in Sam's house.
Instead, all Andy found was darkness. The only light in the room was from a window and even that was faint. The moon's light illuminated a small square in front of where she lay.
Without making any sudden movements, Andrea peered around her. It looked like she was in some kind of cabin. There were a few more windows, showing the wooden structures around her. From what she could make out, there didn't look to be anything inside it. The only thing she really could see was a small box, just beyond the moonlight in front of her. It lay on the floor, begging to be opened by curious hands.
Andy was wary, of course, but she couldn't help herself. Slowly, she crawled towards the box and tentatively opened it up. Inside, a royal blue ring case was quick to capture her attention. She furrowed her brow, confused by the sight.
Gently, Andrea lifted it out, only to stop as she realized there was another item she hadn't noticed. It was a letter— and it was addressed to her. Andy couldn't help the sliver of fear that ran through her. The whole situation was eerie enough as it was.
However, Andrea pushed past it. She rose from the floor and headed towards the window for more light. Still, as she held the envelope in her hands, Andy was afraid to open it. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know what was inside because, judging by its appearance, this letter was old. A relic of the past.
It wasn't just that, either. There was also the fact that, with every new discovery about her own past, Andrea found herself overwhelmed with the pain it brought. There was so much that she'd lost already; her family, her friends, Bucky. What more was there that she could lose and couldn't remember? What more had HYDRA stolen from her?
Andrea closed her eyes, shaking her head at those thoughts. She couldn't let herself get caught up in her grief, not now. Not until this whole ordeal was over with. She had to be strong— not just for the sake of herself, but for the sake of everyone else who might be affected otherwise.
It wasn't just her who would face the consequences.
So, with that in mind, the Jones woman mustered up whatever was left of her courage. She took the letter out of the envelope before unfolding it, soon beginning to read the following words;
Dear Andrea,
Yes, I know you hate it when I call you that, but I thought I should at least try to be somewhat formal while writing this. You're probably wondering why I am writing this, huh? I mean, after all, you did tell me before I left not to write you anything. You remember that? You'd said to me that if I had something to say, it should be said face to face.
You're completely right, by the way, it should be said face to face. But, I can't do that right now and I don't want to take the risk of never being able to ask you the one thing I've wanted to ask since the moment we got together. If I missed my chance, I would be beyond the world's most unhappy man, I'd be incomplete. So, I'll say it now.
I love you Andrea, I love you more than you could ever know. You mean the world to me. Both you and Steve have stuck by my side throughout everything. Even when I felt as if I didn't deserve your friendship, or your love, or your care, you still stayed. I couldn't be more than grateful for that. I love you, Andrea Claire Jones, and there is nothing in this world that could ever stop me from loving you.
Which, is why I'm giving you this ring, to show you just how much you mean to me. I swear, if I come back─ and I will come back─ the first thing I'm going to do is marry you. You're probably wondering where I got it from and no, I did not steal it. Knowing you, that's probably the conclusion you'd jump to for such a seemingly expensive item. Well, the answer to the question I know you're dying to ask, is that it was my mother's.
It's a family heirloom passed throughout generations of the Barnes family son's to give to their future wives. But, if I don't come back, then I want you to keep it for me and give it your son for him to give to his wife. Even if this said son isn't my child and even if it isn't me who you marry, I still want you to continue to pass the heirloom on. There isn't anyone else in the world who I'd trust it more with than you, Andy.
I have to go now, but I swear, I'll do everything I can to come home to you. I wouldn't dare leave my best girl waiting for me.
I love you, Andrea.
Sincerely, yours always, Bucky.
Andrea knew her hands were trembling long before she'd stopped reading, shaking as she struggled to hold back tears. She had no words. No thoughts. All she felt was pure anger, sadness, and despair for what she'd lost. At the moments when she needed her strength the most, the world pushed her harder.
How was it that she was still standing after all that she'd been through?
Andy could feel her anger rising. She was on the verge of lashing out too, but stopped when she heard movement. She froze in place, suddenly aware that someone was watching her. Andy whirled, pressing her back against the wall. She moved out of the window's light in fear of leaving herself open and seen.
"Who's there?" She demanded, receiving silence in reply. Andrea searched the room as best she could, only to find that she couldn't see anything.
For a moment, she thought it might've been her paranoia, until she caught sight of something glinting in the darkness. Andrea's eyes narrowed on the figure that slowly stepped into the light. In response to realizing who it was, she stepped back, becoming defensive as she looked at him.
"What are you doing here?" She seethed, staring down the cold gaze of the Winter Soldier.
He said nothing for a long while. He simply studied her expression and how tightly she held onto the items in her hands. It unnerved her enough to hold them tighter.
"It must be sad, to not be able to remember the man who gave you that ring." His voice was taunting and drew out a sneer from Andrea.
"It's none of your business," she spat, full of rage. Andy didn't have time for this. She didn't understand why her abilities had brought her here of all places.
"It is my business— especially since it was me who had to retrieve those items." He paused, making sure he held her attention. He did. "They're yours and you can keep them all you like. But, they were also bait, to ensure that you would stay once you arrived."
The soldier spoke slowly, his tone plain. He was careful to evade emotion. Rage was suddenly forgotten as Andrea remembered that she had been the same way once. In the same situation.
Still, she narrowed her eyes and took another step back. Andy didn't trust him and she had every right not to. But, she also knew it wasn't him she had to be afraid of. "How'd you know I would come?"
"HYDRA knows everything. We knew that after you found out about your marriage, it was eventual that you would lose control. You would seek out comfort. Safety." His explanation was so clear-cut, it pissed her off.
"Subconsciously," the soldier continued, "your powers would transport you here. The site of an old memory. The items were only brought to ensure an extra attachment. We have a person positioned at every location that held significant meaning for you."
Andrea couldn't help it, she laughed. "HYDRA isn't some magical entity, they don't know everything." All her pent-up anger returned.
"They took everything from me. Every moral I had, every freedom I'd been given. They were all reduced to nothing. I was made to be a puppet," she seethed. "A weapon. Something they could use and easily dispose of."
Feeling bold, Andrea ventured closer, getting personal. "Is that what you stand for? Tell me something, soldier, do you even know your own name? Do you even remember where you grew—" Andy was cut off before she could continue.
"Who I am doesn't matter!" He yelled, his chest heaving as he stepped just as close. Andrea had hit a soft spot and she knew it.
Rather than be intimidated by their proximity, she continued to press further. She knew eventually he would begin to listen. He needed to hear what she had to say. He needed her; the only person who could possibly understand.
Andy may not have trusted him— and what he'd done and who he had taken from her was unforgivable. But, she couldn't blame him, because it wasn't his choice. HYDRA never gave anyone a choice. You had no will. No freedom.
Andrea could change that for him.
"Then what does?" She asked, staring up at the soldier as he tried to avoid her gaze. "What does matter to you? Or have they stripped you of your own thoughts as well?"
She watched as his forehead creased in distress. Andy was almost shocked at how quickly he was disarmed. HYDRA was either sloppy, or he was breaking. Fracturing in the same way she had.
"You don't understand what it's like," he whispered. "To live in constant fear of either yourself or the people that made you. There's nothing I can do to escape. There is nothing I can do to stop what's already been done." His voice was full of grief, with an edge of anxiety lacing his tone.
Andy shook her head. "You're wrong. The door is right there. You don't have to live like this," she insisted. "You can come with me."
With every word, she took a careful step closer. In order for him to listen to her, he needed to be calm. This would be hard. The memories and the questions always were. But, he was beyond calm now. He was on the verge of panicking.
Andy put the letter and ring into her pockets before reaching out. She took hold of the soldier's hands and he stilled. His eyes bore down on her as she laced her fingers with his. The expression that crossed his face was one of wonder and sudden surety.
He trusted her fully.
And then there was cold realization; she had to leave. He knew she had more to say, but the soldier was no longer listening. His gaze cut towards the window. Outside, he caught sight of moving shapes under the guise of night.
HYDRA had set the bait up so that they could re-capture Andrea. He had never been told what they wanted to do with her, but his guesses were horrifying enough. He couldn't let them take her.
"You need to leave," he said quickly, ignoring her sudden protests. "They're coming— and they're coming for you." The soldier met her gaze evenly as he spoke.
Andrea furrowed her brow. "I can't just leave you here, I can't let you stay with them," she said.
The response elicited a grunt of annoyance from the soldier. "It doesn't matter—"
"It matters to me!" She argued, her words leaving him momentarily stunned.
Knowing that they would be storming this place at any second was the only thing that snapped him out of it. He couldn't let her be taken away. Not when he could do something about it— not when he could stop someone from sharing his own fate.
Especially not when she had already worked so hard to escape this life.
"Yeah?" He spoke softly. "Well, your safety matters more. They're going to take you away and they're going to strip you down to nothing again. You can't let that happen, so leave. While you still have the chance."
In the midst of his words, the soldier reached out, cupping her face in his hands. The affectionate gesture took both of them by surprise. It still wasn't enough to stop Andy from arguing.
"Not without you," she whispered. But, while she may have been stubborn, there was no way he was going to let them hurt her— and she saw it in his eyes; he wouldn't be leaving HYDRA behind any time soon.
Andrea recognized the emotions that he felt and resonated with the guilt and the shame. In that singular second, she felt a sorrow she never thought possible. A loss for someone she hardly knew.
"Go!" He shouted, causing her stumble in surprise. The door was burst open. Andy didn't even have time to turn and watch. The soldier was pushing her back, pulling her behind him.
"Leave!" He continued, taking a defensive stance in front of her. How much was he risking, and why— God, why did she agree?
Andrea felt guilt and a deep, echoing sadness wash over her before she finally complied and teleported from the room.
▹
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro