
16 ━ DEAD END
DEMONS.
( chapter sixteen. )
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Edited 12/25/2015 @8:30 PM
Edited 07/12/2016 @7:52 AM
Edited 11/27/2017 @4:09 AM
THE DREAM WAS SO SHORT and yet, Andrea still woke with a knot in her chest. She opened her eyes to the feeling of a gentle nudge. It took her only a moment to fully rouse herself. When she looked over to Steve, she frowned, confused by the concern in his eyes.
"You were crying in your sleep," he said softly, stepping back to let her sit up. He'd opened the door for her.
Andy reached for her face, shame burning through her chest as she quickly wiped away the evidence of her tears. Yet another weakness. How many more incidents would there be?
Why was it so hard to just be strong?
Right when she needed her strength the most, the world seemed dead-set on battering her further. Maybe it was a test, a call for her to prove that she deserved this second chance. With determination hardening her heart, Andrea knew that she would.
In whatever way the world needed, she would be the person that deserved another chance in this life. She'd make sure of it. For Fury's sake.
"Was it because of him?" Andy tensed at Steve's question, freezing just as she went to exit the car.
She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes; to let him see the sadness that ricocheted right through her. Even the mere mention of his existence hurt and she didn't want Steve to see her pain. It was wound so tightly to her heart, even after all these years.
She could recall the memory vividly. From the smell of her room, to the sight of the fire, to the press of Bucky's lips against her forehead. Andy felt her heart ache all over again.
Would it ever stop being painful? Would she ever be able to look back and not feel a tremendous amount of loss?
Andy sighed, pushing the memory from her mind before getting out of the car. "Yes," she admitted, knowing it would hurt worse to lie.
Andrea had told herself that she wouldn't push him away. But, it scared her to reveal her sorrows. What if he ran once he saw how truly damaged she was?
Andy forced herself to meet his eyes and, with a jolting shock, she realized how very wrong she was. She saw it in his face. His eyes held a pain she resonated with and, suddenly, she remembered that it wasn't just her who had lost someone.
She wasn't the only one who had suffered. He may not have endured torture, but Steve Rogers had still lost both his best friends. Grief had ruined them both.
In that moment, as her lip trembled, Andy didn't care for weakness or strength. She didn't care what the world needed her to become. In her mind, the only thing that mattered was what Steve needed her to be— and that was his friend.
Andy pushed herself into his arms, tears springing to her eyes as she finally let go of the pain inside of her. Steve was quick to wrap his arms around her, clinging to the comfort she provided, just as she was clinging to his.
"I'm sorry, I wish I could have done more for you." The pain in Steve's voice mirrored the one that writhed inside her.
Andrea shook her head, a watery laugh escaping as she forced back sobs. "You're here now. That's enough," she assured him, her eyes tightly shut as she pressed her face against his chest.
She wanted to stay there for as long as she could, to hold onto this moment of complete relief. With his arms wrapped tightly around her, it felt like nothing could touch her anymore. Not the pain, not the loss, not the grief.
Absolutely nothing.
When would she ever feel comfort like this again? Andy clung tighter, but she knew they couldn't stay like this forever. They both had responsibilities— and the world wasn't going to save itself.
With reluctance, Andy pulled away. She met his eyes and, somehow, the knot in her chest seemed lighter. "Come on, we have work to do."
She wiped at her eyes before clasping her hand in his. He reciprocated with a half-hearted smile, squeezing her fingers gently. He led the way towards the entrance.
Andrea studied the old military base, peering through the fence that stood between them. As they neared the gate, Andy realized that she knew this place. It was the same base where Peggy Carter had socked Hodge. Steve had been trained for the Super Soldier Program here.
Her head ached with the sensation of remembering, trying to work through the fog. But, with every step closer, memories resurfaced of a time in which she'd made a friend of the Carter woman. Andy had been able to watch Steve work for the opportunity as well, itching at his one chance to do what he felt was right.
She could remember feeling so proud of him— and she still was. Andy gave a faint smile. Of course, there were still many things she couldn't recall, even in the presence of a living memory.
However, she didn't have time to worry about the blank spaces in her mind. For the sake of Fury, Steve, and even Natasha, she had to concentrate on the task at hand. The group entered past the gate, attempting to pinpoint the exact location the hard-drive had originated from.
Eventually, Nat heaved an irritated sigh, "Well this is a dead end. No heat signatures, no waves. Not even a radio." She turned to Andrea and Steve with a shrug.
"Whoever designed this must have created a router to throw people off," Natasha continued, her expression telling of her disappointment. After all, they'd risked a lot in getting here.
But, as Nat and Steve tried to figure out their next move, Andy found herself distracted. Something else had caught her attention. Andrea turned to look at the building behind her, fists clenched as she worked through a distant memory.
When she'd first arrived, Peggy Carter had personally given the Jones woman a tour. She'd listed off some of the rules and regulations as they went. This building in front of Andrea was new, but regulations decreed that storage units couldn't be within 500 yards of the barracks.
Andrea headed towards it, jumping over the railing that separated her from her destination.
"What is it?" Natasha called after her.
Andy said nothing as she continued to approach the building. Instead, she beckoned the two over. In an instant, they were by her side.
She glanced up at Steve, "I'm not the only one who finds this building out of place, right?"
Slowly, he nodded, his realization mirroring hers. "Regulations forbid storage stations within 500 yards from the barracks," he explained to Nat. The words echoed Andy's own thoughts.
They came to a stop in front of the entrance. With the heavy lock on the door, any normal purveyor of B&E would've easily found the place impenetrable. But, for a group skilled in demolition, an old security measure wasn't going to stop them from getting in.
Steve didn't hesitate in smashing the lock with his shield. Andy pushed the door open and stared into the vast darkness within. She pursed her lip before they entered together, wandering carefully down a flight of stairs. The air inside was stale and the group soon found themselves in a room.
Andy took quick notice of the S.H.I.E.L.D symbol adorning the far wall. She gave a huff of surprise. Doing a slow spin, Andy studied what was clearly a secret, underground office. Or more.
"So, this is S.H.I.E.L.D?" Nat asked, just as awed. Andy gave a small shrug, fingers making shapes in the dust coating one of the many desks.
"Maybe where it started," Steve replied, approaching the pictures that hung along the wall. Andrea followed in his footsteps, staring up at four people she could barely recall. There was one of Peggy, Howard Stark— the most recognizable— and a Colonel Philips.
The last one, however, was of her.
Andrea's stomach dropped. The image of her in the frame wasn't smiling. The uniform was clean, tailored to fit cleanly against her body. This wasn't some memorial, constructed in her absence. It was the result of a valuable amount of time spent within the beginnings of S.H.I.E.L.D.
In her mind, Andy fumbled over herself. Her body shivered with sudden anxiety. She couldn't remember anything. It didn't matter how much she longed for a glimpse to the past, nothing responded. No ache. No nostalgia.
Nothing— it was all a blank space.
Andy closed her eyes. She felt sick. It took a dozen even breaths before she could look back up at the photograph. Tentatively, Andy reached out to brush away the dust. There were words engraved beneath the picture.
Dedicated to Agent Andrea Barnes.
Immediately, Andy felt the breath leave her chest. All she could feel was shock; numbing as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing. Her muscles felt tight as she stared at the name. Andrea Barnes. A name she couldn't remember being given.
It felt surreal, it couldn't be true.
How could she not remember any of this? Of all the things she knew about Bucky, how could this not be a part of it? It didn't feel right. It didn't make sense. Distress tore through her with force.
The tears stung as the fell, too fast to stop. There was a part of her that wanted all of this to be a nightmare, but the other part of her knew it wasn't. There was no waking up. She pressed her fingers deeper along the grooves of her name, engraved on the plaque.
How could she still lose? Over and over again? Right when she thought it couldn't get worse, every new discovery proved her wrong.
How could she have let him go, when he meant so much to her?
"Andy..." Steve's voice was soft, comforting even. But, a part of her felt betrayed. He knew. He had to have known and yet, he never told her— never once mentioned it.
Andrea let her hand fall from the photograph, eyes shut as she focused on the rise and fall of her chest. It was still hard to breath, with lungs stuttering beneath the weight of all her pain. She felt it all the time now.
"You should have told me," she whispered, glaring at Steve's chest. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. The pain reverberated everywhere, nearly crippling.
She wanted to sob, to collapse and let the weight of this grief drown her. Andy wrapped her arms around herself, seeking comfort. Steve reached out in response.
Unable to help herself, Andy stepped out of his grasp. She knew it hurt him, but his feelings were the least of her concern. She couldn't bear the brunt of anyone else's pain, save for her own.
"I'm sorry. I—"
She shook her head, "I just—" Andy paused then, unsure how to continue. She felt guilty for cutting him off so quickly, but she needed something else to cling to.
And anger was so much easier than sadness.
"I need time to think," she told him, taking another step back as she wiped the tears from her face. Andy kept her gaze averted as she wandered further into the room.
Her eyes followed along rows of empty shelves. In her mind, she imagined storing all of her pent-up emotions here. She'd save them for after, when she could grieve. Right now, there were far more important things to finish.
It pained her to see it this way; to look beyond everything that made her who she was. But, there was no changing the past. The future, however, that could be changed— and Andy feared that if they didn't discover the extent of S.H.I.E.L.D's decay, then they ran the risk of compromising the world itself.
Andrea wouldn't put the lives of other people at risk. Not when she could do something about it. She had to put everyone and everything before herself. Just as she'd been taught to.
Andy had been hollowed out once before, discarded of emotions. She could do it again. Only, this time, it would be on her own terms.
The Jones woman inhaled a deep breath of air before releasing it slowly. With it, she imagined that her feelings would leave her too. Her resolve hardened with the calming of her heart— and the absence of its pain.
In the silence that followed, the howl of trapped air caught her attention.
Andrea turned to face the shelves directly beside her. In the space where two of the structures met, she listened. The howling grew louder. She placed her fingers between the shelves, using sheer strength to pull them apart.
When they were finally open, Andy stepped back to stare at what was revealed.
"If you're already working on a hidden office, why hide the elevator?" Steve wondered aloud.
Natasha joined them, the group staring at the machine in mutual confusion. Andy was the first to venture closer. She brushed away the dust on the code buttons, allowing Natasha to try her luck. The doors opened with ease.
The women shared a victorious smile. They entered and clicked the singular button available. Andy watched on, brows pinched together as the doors closed and they dropped to the floor below.
As she stepped into the far corner, Andy felt suddenly nervous. She'd never been fond of elevators. Once the machine stopped, she was the first to step out. Motion-sensory lights flickered on and illuminated the room. The sight left Andrea stunned as she took in all the old tech surrounding them.
She ran her finger over what looked like an old computer. The action earned her only dust in return. She wiped the residue off on her pants before heading over to where Natasha was standing. The mere idea that this was where the hard drive could have originated from seemed impossible.
So, the question was, why were they led here?
"Are you sure the tracker was right about this place? This tech is almost older than me," Andrea said, voicing her doubts.
Natasha was too confused by their surroundings to acknowledge the joke. Andy went back to looking around and caught sight of a USB port. Amongst all the old technology around it, the sleek port stuck out like a sore thumb.
Andy stepped forwards, taking the drive out of her pocket as she did so. She inserted the hard drive and watched with awe as the computer in front of the group began to boot up.
Initiate System?
Andrea stared at the question on the screen, watching as the Romanoff woman set to work. She typed out 'yes.' Once she hit enter, the computer began to run once more. From atop the screen, a camera came to life.
It turned to Andy, the nearest figure, and a voice began to speak, "Barnes-Jones, Andrea Claire. Born 1917." The voice was somehow accented, even in spite its clearly automated tone.
Andrea peered closer at the strange pattern on the computer. It formed a face that felt oddly familiar. It left her anxious. Andy got the sense that nothing good could come of this slow-rising suspicion.
The camera turned to Steve, "Rogers, Steven Grant. Born 1918."
The camera moved once more, to Natasha. She stepped back, staring warily at the device. "Romanova, Natalia Alianovna. Born 1984," the voice finished.
Andy furrowed her brow, wondering how it had figured out their identities. The technology must have held a facial-recognition system. But, their full names? The access that required was jarring.
Natasha looked to Andy. "It must be a recording, right?" Her tone was unsure, even as she asked.
Andrea shrugged, confused as to what was going on herself. Regardless, she hoped they would be able to work past whatever program this was. They needed to find out what was on the hard drive.
However, before any of them could say any more, the computer spoke up in that same, unsettling voice. Andy wished she could pinpoint how she recognized it. But, no distinct memory came to her.
"I am not a recording, fräulein. I may not be the man I once was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1944, but I am..." The voice trailed off as another screen flickered on, revealing a picture of Arnim Zola.
A scientist belonging to HYDRA.
Andrea stepped back as horrifying realization washed over her. One of her earliest memories with the organization had been her experimentation. Zola had been there. He'd watched and studied her as she became his tortured lab rat. He'd even aided in the creation of her identity.
However, as painful as the memory was, she wasn't afraid. The only thing Andy could really feel was rage. It buried itself deep within her. Poisonous. Rotting.
The camera moved to study her form, "So, you do remember me. I was worried that, upon being recruited into S.H.I.E.L.D. you would reveal HYDRA's secret roots, but it's clear that your trauma has protected both of us. We've taught you well."
At Zola's words, Andrea struggled to keep her anger contained. They had taught her well, in more ways than one. Andy sneered as she replied, "Believe me, it wasn't by choice."
Her fists were clenched so tightly, she swore the nails were cutting into skin. Andy was aware of the way both Natasha and Steve watched her. If she did something reckless, it would be up to them to hold her back.
Natasha looked to the camera. "If you were the reason behind her abilities, why weren't there more like her? Her powers are weak, but their effectiveness is immeasurable. You could have had an army."
She was right to ask, but Natasha's words didn't make Andy feel any less horrible about her origins. What she was intended for was terrifying. Though, more terrifying was the possibility that she might not have been alone...
Nonetheless, the bitter satisfaction that came with the answer overpowered her despair. "I destroyed his work before he could test it on anyone else. It was a brief moment of clarity, but I figured if I couldn't escape, then the least I could do was stop others from facing what I had."
Andrea's grin was wicked with the recollection. "At that point, there was no replicating their serums. Zola was already deteriorating and his work couldn't be restored."
"A small victory, Reaper." Zola's retaliation would have stung, had it not been for the obvious anger at his own failure. She could almost hear the sneer in the computer's tone.
The name had been given to her in likeness to the personification of death. The Grim Reaper. Andrea was an extension of that power. Death was all she sought out.
And she would flaunt that name one last time, when she destroyed what was left of Arnim Zola.
Andy resisted the urge to call on her power. Instead, she let Steve do the rest of the talking. "It's not possible, Zola died years ago," he seethed.
The Jones woman had to admit that she was curious herself. Who built this program— and why here of all places? It didn't make sense.
Natasha rose a brow, "So, you both know this thing?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Andy noticed Steve's brisk nod. She faintly remembered being told of his and the Howling Commando's mission to capture Zola. But, with that recollection, she also recalled that it had been the last mission Bucky Barnes had ever went on.
Andrea frowned, chest burning. "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull," she explained.
"And he's been dead for years," Steve quickly added, glaring at the screen.
There was a static sound from the computer, which could've been taken as a tsk of annoyance. "First correction; I am Swiss. Second correction; look around you, I have never been more alive."
The words were spoken so viciously that Andy felt her skin crawl. How could anyone have let this happen? Arnim Zola deserved no other legacy than to be remembered as the monster he was.
Zola continued, "In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body. But, my mind, however, that was worth saving— on two-hundred thousand feet of databanks. You are standing in my brain."
Andrea furrowed her brow, watching as more lights turned on. What they revealed only validated Zola's words. Her lips parted in shock as thousands of machines were lit up around them. To wonder at the resources that must have gone into this... it left Andy reeling.
"How did you get here?" Steve demanded, the expression on his face telling of his frustration.
"Invited." The one worded reply from Zola elicitied a scoff from Andy.
She was annoyed now. She refused to believe that he'd managed to worm his way into S.H.I.E.L.D. It wasn't possible, not with all that he'd done.
But, in the back of her mind, there was bitter suspicion. As much as she hated to admit it; it wasn't as unlikely as she might have thought. There was only one place all that technology and effort could have come from.
"Operation Paperclip," Natasha breathed out. Her words were quick to capture the attention of her teammates, who turned their gazes to her.
"After World War 2, S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited German scientists that held strategic value," Natasha explained. Her eyes held apology, as if she were to blame.
Andrea felt slow horror creep back up on her and with it? Memory. Questions.
"I helped the cause, but I also helped my own." Zola's voice made clear his delight.
She didn't want to believe it, but how could she ignore all of the signs? Zola was solid proof, but there was also the matter of her. Where she'd come from and how she had survived. But, admitting to her suspicions would only tear down the vision of a home she'd built with S.H.I.E.L.D. The one place she always thought she belonged.
Could she survive that?
Andy looked at Steve and Natasha. The answer came easily, because with them she knew she could. If her team was by her side, Andy could make it through anything.
"That's not possible," Steve insisted, "HYDRA died with the Red Skull." Even so, Andrea could still hear the uncertainty in his voice.
The camera turned to face her. "Just look to your friend for the proof, Captain. What was your last memory of HYDRA?" The question pinned all the attention onto her, but she'd seen it coming.
Andy felt shame tear through her, but she wouldn't show it here. She refused to give Zola the satisfaction of getting the best of her. He would pay for what he'd done.
Andrea unfurled her fists, "The last thing I remember was escaping, but I destroyed everything I left behind. I downloaded all of the files I could onto a USB before permanently wiping their systems. I burned what was left of HYDRA to the ground." Her words were spoken with resolve, but she knew there was no confidence to them.
"Did you truly believe that was HYDRA's only base? Cut off one head, two more shall take its place. You should remember those words, Reaper. You spoke them almost daily when you were still HYDRA's toy—" At Zola's taunt and symbol of HYDRA that appeared on the screen, an uncontrollable rage roared through Andrea.
Every ounce of carefully practiced patience was lost to her as she punched through the screen of the computer. Her breathing was heavy as she slowly pulled her fist back. She tried not to notice the gashes that now adorned it, colouring her skin with blood.
Another screen flickered on and, before she could punch through that one, she felt Steve gently wrap his arms around her to stop her. She wanted to thrash— to scream and yell for him to let her destroy this monster. But, they needed answers and she was going to make sure they got them, even if it was the last thing she did.
"As I was saying..." Zola's voice trailed off.
"Prove it," Andy demanded, shrugging out of Steve's hold. She watched on as the screen changed and the system began to work through its archives.
More screens began to flicker on, revealing pictures and files. Andrea's eyes briefly scanned over every piece of information before moving onto the next. It was overwhelming in its capacity, but she didn't waste her time in soaking up as much as she could.
"HYDRA was founded on the belief that the world could not be trusted with its own freedom," Zola began to explain. "What HYDRA failed to realize was that when your tried to take away that freedom, humanity would resist. The war has taught us much. Humanity would need to surrender its freedom willingly."
At such a wild insinuation, Andrea felt a sneer teasing at her lips. HYDRA had to be more foolish than she thought. Though, the more she thought about it, Andy realized that it wasn't entirely impossible. The thought made her breath catch.
"S.H.I.E.L.D was founded after the war and I was recruited. The new HYDRA crew. A beautiful, new parasite inside of S.H.I.E.L.D." Zola's joyful voice and that static hiss made her vision blur with anger.
"Andrea did have her suspicions," the system added, "Your leaving of SHIELD to search for your friends was not born only out of grief, but of anger. You were smart, Jones, but we were smarter."
"For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, creating war and chaos. And when history would not cooperate—" The video footage changed to show the Soviet star from the Winter Soldier's arm.
Andy couldn't help it then, she felt her heart mourn for him; this assassin she knew. She'd failed— failed in protecting others from suffering her fate. Andy had seen him warring with his own mind and still let them carve him into their own, personal weapon. She felt guilt wash over her. She should have done more.
The image changed from the Winter Soldier and, in its place, a video of another figure appeared. A woman, decked out in a black suit without a mask to conceal her identity. Her features were barely visible due to the quality of the film, but Andrea knew exactly who it was. How could she not?
She was looking at herself.
This time, no amount of willpower could stop the tears that gathered in her eyes. Andrea felt her hand close over her mouth in horror. That vision of her on the screen held a gun in hand, aiming at the person recording. She closed her eyes, refusing to see. When the bang sounded, she sobbed.
"History would be changed," Zola finished.
Andrea felt like she was choking on her tears, forcing down the cries that would've wracked her body whole. She'd never felt so much sorrow. It was a shadow that enveloped her completely. It didn't matter that she couldn't remember, it had still happened. Nothing would change that.
She had allowed herself to become a monster— she had allowed herself to create demons.
Natasha stepped forwards, "That's impossible, S.H.I.E.L.D. would have stopped you." The tone of her voice was angered and defensive.
"Accidents will happen," Zola answered. Unable to help herself, Andy opened her eyes to watch as an article appeared on-screen.
A report on Howard and Maria Stark's death.
That was the final straw. Andrea collapsed, but was caught by Steve as she was overcome by the grief. She couldn't have done this, not to Howard. Not to his wife— to Tony. Not to someone who was her friend. The pain was almost unbearable. It would never end.
Andy buried herself into Steve's arms as Zola continued, "Do not worry, fräulein. It was not you who committed the act."
The words did nothing to ease what Andrea felt. She was shattered into a million pieces, feeling so much all at once; grief, despair, rage.
Zola wasn't done singing his own praises. "HYDRA has succeeded in creating a world so chaotic that humanity is now ready to give in its freedom to gain security. When the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We have won, captain. Your death will amount to the same as your life; a zero sum."
Andrea felt Steve's grip around her tighten as the words dug deep. She took a deep breathe, trying with everything she had to push past her emotions once more. Just once more.
There wasn't time to grieve, but there would be after, when this was all over. She had to be strong, she had to finish this. Andy couldn't let HYDRA win and destroy the world she was sworn to protect. She needed to find strength in this resolution and that's exactly what she did.
The last of her tears slowed to a stop and she closed her eyes. It took a dozen deep breaths to compose herself, but Andrea did it. Any evidence of her sadness was gone as she stood on her feet. Andy still felt weak, but she knew what she had to do.
She understood that there were things more important at hand— lives were at stake and she was going to make sure she saved them all.
Andy stepped out of Steve's embrace, her gaze on fire. "What's on the hard drive?" She demanded, speaking through seething, bared teeth.
"Project insight requires... insight. So, I wrote an algorithm," Zola replied, only then choosing to skirt around an answer.
"What kind of algorithm?" She continued to press, fingers twitching. It was a struggle to keep her rage in check.
"The answer to your question is quite interesting. It is unfortunate that you shall be too dead to hear it." As Zola spoke, Andy turned to watch as the doors to the elevator began to close.
Steve threw his shield in a futile attempt to stop them, but failed as the doors sealed shut. The shield ricocheted back into his grasp. It should have felt like the final nail in their coffin, but Andrea wouldn't allow it. She refused to let them fail.
Andy turned back to the image of Zola, fuming as Natasha announced that there was a missile headed towards them. Clearly, there were no concerns for what would be left of Zola. HYDRA was clearly willing to risk almost anything to stop them.
"I'm afraid I have been stalling, Reaper." Zola's words were accompanied by the camera turning to face Andy.
"When you first booted up, you said Barnes and I want to know why." Andrea wasn't a fool, she knew in her heart the reason behind the name. Still, she waited in anticipation for his reply.
"Last names tend to change due to many reasons. One of which included marriage. You, fräulein," he spoke mockingly, "were married to James Buchanan Barnes."
Andy felt the words like a vacuum stealing the air from her lungs. Tears threatened her once more, but she held them back. In spite of the truth, it would pain her no more.
She let her eyes flicker up to meet the camera's lens. "Then, as sure as my oath, till death do we part; I will destroy you and what's left of HYDRA." It was a vow all its own, separate of love.
She smiled with sure viciousness. "And when I'm done, there will be no shadow you can hide in. No host to feed from. You will have nothing left but the legacy of your failures and I will be there as a reminder of them all."
Before Zola could reply, Andrea turned to take hold of her friends. They reappeared beneath the grating in the floors, having teleported to take shelter. Not a moment too soon, Andy willed her telekineses to hold the walls around them steady. The world shook— exploded around them. But, through it all, she felt strength hold steady in her bones.
Even as the world went dark around them, Andrea knew; this was only the beginning.
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