Lockdowns. 

They were always hard on Zak, whether it be residual energy or bringing home an attachment. I would only have to look at him to know there was a difference. Sometimes it wouldn't raise it's ugly head for hours sometimes even days, but I know when it does. He changes, and I know it isn't his fault. So when he is yelling, pacing or snapping at me, I know it's time to say something, sometimes, I don't have to, he notices and quietly removes himself until he is able to control whatever the problem is.

Over the past few months, I've witnessed his meltdowns, the yelling, throwing things, snappiness, the nightmares, the paranoia, the zoning out and the moments of absolute silence in our homes. 

It's hard to watch sometimes, but my hands are tied on what I can do. I can clean, walk Gracie, call his mom to take over the museum for a few days, wake him in the small hours of the mornings when he is in a cold sweat and calling out at whatever is taunting him and making him food to ensure he eats. 

Of course in my eyes it's minimal, but it's something and I knew he was grateful for whatever help I gave. That much was evident from the flowers and time we spent together when he was clear.

Tonight he had a lockdown, it was local, which meant he was coming home at some point. So when I stirred at 2am to see a figure moving around my room, shedding it's clothes, I knew it was him. If it wasn't confirmation enough, the warm arm, nuzzling into the size of my neck was and coldness of his rosary on my back was.

"Only me." He whispered.

"Thank goodness for that. Because if it wasn't, then I'd have to tell the person that my partner is a demon hunter and he kicks ass."

Zak chuckles quietly in my ear. 

"Go okay?" I ask rubbing his arm, when I find his watch, I carefully undo the strap in the dark and set it on the nightstand. 

"It went fine. Go back to sleep. You'll be exhausted tomorrow morning."

I yawn quietly. "Yes sir."

My eyes are just about to close when I remember... 

Lifting my hand, I gently feel his face, causing him to laugh, when I feel the frames, I remove his glasses too. 

"What would you do without me huh?" I ask setting them down too.

"Probably walk into walls from the amount of frames I would have bent and broke. Night."

I smile "Night, night."

******

You know those moments of sleep, where you know you are asleep, but you can hear everything that is going on?

I was having that... Or I think I was when I heard thumping.

"You've got to be kidding me. Again?" Zak sighs, I feel him roll onto his back, taking the warmth away from me as he prepares to get himself out of bed. 

"I'll go. Stay, try sleep." I encourage, dragging myself from my bed and making my way out the room. 

The lamp flicks on making me look over to find Zak sitting up and looking for his glasses. "You aren't going out there alone."

"I got this." I tell him as the yelling begins. 

"The last time you said that, you had bruising. He isn't getting the chance to do it again." He growls standing up. 

Sometimes I forget his height as he towers over me, it's only made more evident when he pulls on my robe which is miles to short for him, but he works it. Whilst I have picked up his shirt.
"Do you want to swap?" I ask. 

"No, it means I have to put pants on and I can't be dealing with that tonight."

I look down at his long legs and laugh quietly. "It's gonna get breezy."

"Not if I have anything to do with it." He grumbles opening the bedroom door and stalking across my apartment and towards the thumping.

I follow behind, only to slip in front of him before he can yank open the door and punch Joel in the face. "Let me handle this."

A tic flickers in Zak's lip as he wants to argue, but signs and with a nod stands back. "Fine, but if he lays a hand on you. It's lights out."

Opening my door, I find Joel, bottle of whisky hanging loosely in his hand and stinking of it.
"R-Riley." Joel belches. 

"Charming... What do you want Joel?" I ask watching as he smiles lazily. 

"I lo-" He stops and frowns when he spots Zak over my shoulder. "What is he still doing here?"

"Go home Joel." I tell him, ignoring the comment about Zak.

"I am home."

"This hasn't been your home in a very long time." Zak speaks behind me, laying his hand on the base of my spine. "I don't wanna keep having this conversation, you need to leave and not come back."

"You can't.... Can't tell me what to do." Joel points.

"He is right Joel, you need to go."

"But I love you." He says as if that's an answer.

"If you did, then you wouldn't have had another woman in our bed. In fact the only time you remember about me, is when you've gone over the limit. I'll call a cab, you can wait outside the apartment block."

"I want to come in." He says.

"No."

He reaches for my arm that's been holding the door, when it's moved and Zak is out the door.
"Zak!" I snap as he towers over Joel. 

"You.... Shit." Joel spits at Zak, whilst staggering on his feet.

"Do not rise to it." I tell him, pulling Zak back into the apartment.

"I want you gone Joel. Or I'm ringing the police. This is harassment now."

He frowns "No. No, no it's not."

"Yes it is. Now leave." I demand, giving Zak one final push inside before closing the door and putting the chain and deadbolt across. 

You can't hide the barrage of abuse aimed at me as Joel screams and kicks the front door. Hence why I had a deadbolt installed and got a new chain. 

"What part of me handling it, didn't you get?" I ask Zak as he clenches his fists. 

"The bit where he went to touch you." He answers. "I couldn't stop myself. Not after last time."

Zak was away on lockdown, when Joel decided to drink himself stupid and turn up here... It got physical and by the time I was confident enough to pick up the video call, Zak knew... 

No thanks to Mavis who has become Zak's spy whilst he is away. The pair are thicker than thieves and I'm outnumbered when they are together.
He could see the make up attempts to cover the black eye and split lip from where Joel booted in the door, catching me in the face. He could also see the finger marks left in my arms where Joel grabbed me off the floor in a rage. 

It took 4 days, and a lot of convincing for Zak not to report it, because he knew I wouldn't.

"Sorry you've had to deal with this again." I sigh as Joel kicks the door again. 

"I'm ringing the police if he doesn't stop." He warns.

"I know and I'll do it myself. Just let him have his moment."

"At what expense?" Zak asks. "How many more times are you gonna let him get away with this?"

I rub my forehead "I don't know."

Zak sighs before crossing my apartment and going into the hold-all left on the coffee table. "This isn't how I want to do it." He mutters.

"I'll ring them off my phone." I tell him.

"I'm not looking for my phone, come here a sec."

Yawning, I pad over the apartment and stand beside him, watching him shoving his clothes about until he finds what he wants.

"I want you to have this." He says. 

"Is it pepper spray?" 

"No, but what a brilliant idea." He answers before dropping a black fob into my hand. 

I frown and turn it over "What is it?"

"A key. To my house." 

"Oh cool, you got a new system?"

He nods. "Now I know I have a key to your place because I come in late, but that's not why I am giving you this."

"Okay.." 

"This is so you can come and go whenever you want."

"Right..." I draw out still not getting it. "Hun, I don't mean to sound rude, but I have no interest in being in your home if you aren't there... Unless it's to collect Gracie or cleaning of course. Is that why?"

He smiles slightly "Not quiet... I umm, well I want it to be your home too."

"My home?"

"Move in with me." 

I blink and look down at the key before looking at him again. "Are you... Is this because of him?" 

"Partly. But I've had that key for a while and well... It's kind of a big thing for me. I can't say I'm going to be the best at cleaning up after myself and you know I take up the majority of the bed. I'm terrible cover hogger, I go through phases of food and I'm a workaholic. But I want us to be together, for every minute that I am not working. We will still get our own time when I'm away, if that is what you're worried about."

I laugh softly "I hadn't even thought of that."

"So will you? Move in with me?"

"What about the twins when they come over? Is that going to be alright still?"

"Gracie loves kids and I've got enough bedrooms."

I grin, "Then yes. Hell yes."

******

A week later..

Crashing on the rattan furniture in the garden, I pass Zak one of his alcohol free beers. "For you."

He accepts it and clinks it with my own bottle before taking a sip. "So this is it huh?"

I nod "I'm all moved in, I am all yours."

"I like the sound of that."

Looking at the sunset, I feel a squeeze of warmth around my heart. This was it, this was us. With Gracie stood up near the waterfall, looking out at the view of Vegas too. 

"So this is what paradise looks like." I say before looking over at Zak who grins. 

"Not bad is it?"

"Pretty perfect to me."

I was feeling apprehensive about leaving Mavis behind, especially when I didn't know what Joel would be like when someone else answered the door the next time he got drunk.  I hope one day he learns to change and not treat women badly, but until he kicks his drinking habit, I don't see it changing any time soon. 

Mavis came and tapped on the door a couple days ago, letting me know that she was moving to California, after meeting up with an old flame. Now my bad ass adopted grammy was off to live by the sea and smoke as much pot as she wanted. God bless her. We skyped this morning and I spent the majority of the conversation watching her get stoned. 

Turns out Zak had ran the idea of me moving in past her before asking me, afraid that he would scare me off, but when Mavis encouraged it, he took the dive and this is where we were.

"Let's make another toast." He says sitting up and turning to face me. 

"Okay, what to?" I ask. 

"To us, to Gracie, to Mavis and her new life, to our new chapter and finding each other."
I beam back at him. "To our new beginnings."

"To our new beginnings." 

We clink out bottles again before sitting back against each other. 

So we might not have it all together, especially when Zak comes home with an uninvited guest or some nightmares. 

But together, we have it all....

[Fin]