Amara's POV

"What's the deal with you being an atheist?" I ask Peter directly while we work on our biology notes.

"So, one of my friends exposed me, huh?" He chuckles.

"Why? You weren't going to tell me?" I raise a brow.

"Uh... I didn't think it was that important?" He looks at me nervously.

I give him a look.

"Okay, okay." He puts his hands up in defence. "I knew it was important but if it helps, I guess I was born into a Muslim family?"

"Peter..." I sigh. "I feel like that night was a mistake on my part."

Peter stops writing. "Amara, if this is about religion—"

"It's not that simple. It's not just religion. We're a disastrous destruction just waiting to happen." I look down at my hands, feeling my heart breaking slightly.

"Like a ticking bomb?" He asks.

"Exactly! So, you understand?" I say.

"That's sort of racist, isn't it?" He smirks.

"Peter!" I slightly smack his arm. "I'm serious!"

Talking to Peter is almost like talking to wall, sometimes. He picks and chooses what he wants to listen to, usually they have to be in his favour.

Now, for example, is a perfect example of something he doesn't want to hear because it's not something he wants to deal with.

"Okay, everyone. There's five minutes till class is over. I'll let you guys out early today." The professor announces.

Dina wasn't feeling well so she didn't come to class today.

I pack my things and begin to walk away alone.

Just as Peter doesn't want to deal with us, I don't want to deal with him either.

"Amara, wait." He grabs my wrist.

"I'm not in the mood for games, Peter. I—" Just as I was about to go off on a rampage, he places a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead.

I freeze instantly in my spot.

"I promise we'll have a serious talk about this after my next class. I'll text you, okay?"

He doesn't wait for an answer from me. Instead, he just walks away.

The professor blinks a few times at me, trying to process what he just saw.

"I knew I always made the perfect partners." He mutters to himself.

My cheeks start burning from embarrassment and I dash out of the classroom quicker than I've ever gone.

• • •

Meet me near the benches that are on the campus garden.

I stare at the text from Peter, wondering if this time it'll be worth my time. He had to pick one of the most scenic places on campus? What does he plan on doing now...

I don't know what we are but he keeps doing things that confuse me constantly.

He doesn't say that we're officially a couple but neither does he say that we're not. The second I want to talk about it, he doesn't want to hear me out.

Whenever I'm trying to clarify anything, he shows physical affection, making me forget how to breathe.

Once I look up, I realize I've walked all the way to the garden. I've been so deep in my thoughts, that I hadn't even realized that I've walked half way across campus.

My heart is so against logic that it automatically took me here while trying to keep me busy within my thoughts.

I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist. "You came." Peter rests his chin on my shoulder.

I quickly spin around, creating a reasonable distance between us.

My breathing mimics the impact the smallest of Peter's gestures have on me as I heave heavily from the mere seconds of his touch.

"You can't do that."

"Do what?" He asks, acting innocent.

"Hold me like that in public." I say.

"So, in private it's okay?" He smirks.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I groan.

I sit down on the bench and pat the seat beside me, gesturing him to sit.

"Can I ask you a question?" I look down nervously.

He nods. "Anything for you, my princess."

I roll my eyes, even though that made my heart flutter. "Can I ask why you chose to be an atheist?"

He throws his head back to look up at the sky. "Promise this won't offend you?"

"Of course not! You're entitled to a respectful opinion." I reassure him.

"Well... I just think the whole idea of religion creates anxiety within people." He sighs.

"How so?" I ask, curious to know about his thoughts.

"I don't know... Like certain religious beliefs can come across as threatening, restricting or even... oppressive." He says, picking his words carefully.

"What about the good parts of religion?" I ask.

"I take the good parts that religion has to offer and embed them into my daily life. For example, in Islam, charity work is highly recommended, being kind and respectful to one another is a must. Just being an overall good person is part of being a good Muslim. But I can do all those things without being forced into a category of people who believe the other things." He explains.

I listen to him quietly. He's not wrong, he can be all those things without categorized into a certain belief.

This is the first time he's being serious about something and I'm curious to know more.

"Do you believe that everything is a coincidence?" I ask.

"I do. I believe everything happens by chance or it's just supposed to happen because we, ourselves, led it there; no explanation, no reasoning." He turns to look at me. "What's your stand in all of this?"

I chuckle. "It's quite the opposite of everything you said. I'm actually at my most calmest when I'm praying; all my worries, all my anxieties, just disappear for those few moments."

"What about coincidences?" He asks, eagerly.

"To me, things aren't a coincidence. I feel like our Creator has a plan and we're on the path that He has set out for us. I do feel like we have enough free will to the point where He will give us two paths: a righteous way and a not-so-righteous way. We, then, battle our own inner conscious to choose a path, which, then, lays out our future." I answer thoughtfully.

"Things can't just be a coincidence, right?" I turn to look at him but he's staring at the ground. "I mean, if you think about it, why are we here? There has to be a purpose for us to be here. I'm not challenging your views or anything but there has to be a few things that you've experienced or heard of that just possibly cannot be a mere coincidence, right?"

Peter just shrugs his shoulders.

"But on the other hand, I have my own opinions on religion. There are parts of Islam that doesn't fit me, there are parts of Islam that don't fit many Muslims; and that's totally okay. We grow, form our own thoughts and values, and there are times we can't be a perfect fit for something. There are times I question certain Islamic teachings but that's because my love for my religion is still alive enough for me to be able to ask for clarifications and explanations."

I start twisting the ends of my scarf. "But at the end of the day, I've prayed for things and seen some impossible things happens that keeps strengthening my beliefs.

We sit there in silence for a bit. Not awkward silence, more like a comforting silence, as if we were both trying to understand each other without words.

"So, is a non-religious guy out of your agenda?" He suddenly asks.

"Who knows what Allah has planned for me? Maybe a man like that is in my agenda." I laugh.

"Amara..." He calls my name in the soft tone that makes me go numb.

"Hm?"

"Teach me." He says.

"Teach you?" I ask in confusion.

"Educate me on Islam. Tell me more about... everything. All the things you love about Islam and all the things that you question about it."

My eyes widen as I break into a wide grin. "Are you serious?"

"I've never been more serious." He chuckles.

"I'm so happy I could kis-" I pause. "I mean..."

"You're so happy you could what? Finish your sentence, Amara Mahmoud." He leans in closer.

"I didn't say anything..." My cheeks are burning up from embarrassment so I stand up to leave but he grabs my wrist.

"You're not going anywhere until I get a kiss." He's not letting go.

"Peter..." I plead.

"Peter, nothing. I don't want to hear to anything until I get a kiss."

I squeeze my eyes shut tight and give him the quickest peck on the cheeks.

As promised, he lets go of my wrist and I dash away from him.

I don't know why but the thought suddenly appears in my mind... I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I want to marry him and that's a scarier thought than falling in love because that's... that's a whole lifetime of a commitment.

And it's even scarier to think I want to marry someone like Peter because honestly speaking, I don't think commitment is his thing.

- - -

A/N: idk if you guys know yet but I put up the playlist for this story in my Wattpad bio! There's a YouTube & Spotify link! ❤️

Next Update: Wednesday, July 24, 2019. Insh'Allah!

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