I woke up on my elbows with a gasp, my chest moving up and down due to my lack of breathing, I ran my fingers through my messed hair, I ripped the blanket off me, I cringed at the sight of a sleeping Saudamini sleeping like a baby beside me.

My hands reached out and grabbed a towel from the side and wrapped it around my hips, which was completely naked waist down,  I placed my palms on either side of the sink and looked at the mirror, she was right, I look dreadful, I breathed deeply as my hair covered my vision, dark circles painted my under-eyes and my skin looks pale. 

I looked back at Mini, who looks innocent, oblivious to my lies, what have I done?

A whimper left my lips as I clutched the basin, tears streaming down my eyes, my lips quivering, within minutes I was sobbing, my whole body shook with the intensity of my tears, I felt my heart-break physically inside me as my whole existence crumbled.

''You ok Anirudh?'' I felt a soft hand on my shoulders, I looked down to see Mini's caring eyes looking at me, guilt flushed through me remembering what I did, the crime I committed. 

''Yes, Yes I am perfectly fine Mini, you can go, I will see you at breakfast, yes?'' I flip the topic before running my hand through the side of her, caressing her skin.

She passed me a smile and walked away, the grip on the ceramic tightened as a painful scream left my lips. I am lost completely, love was supposed to make me strong, but it made me weaker than anything.

***

''Anirudh, oh you lover boy, I said calm down!'' Meredith shouted from the other side but of the world, but none of her soothing words made an effect on me, nothing can fix what I have done.

''The-they already started preparing for my marriage, I ca-can't do anything but watch helplessly, I lost Meredith'' I whisper painfully, clutching the length of the telephone tightly, tears streaming down my eyes, the pain bursting out of my rib-cage.

''Shh, Calm down lad, Do what I say, deep breaths'' I heard her whispers rather loudly, but my lips quivered and I couldn't say anything, I felt my throat parched and no voice came out of my throat.

''I am coming to that god-damned place!'' was all she said before cutting the call with a swift click. I inhaled deeply and looked outside, it has been a week since I last saw her, and my father wanted me to get married as soon as possible and take Mini with me to London. And that is the future I saw, darkness.

***

I ran my fingers through my long hair before clipping the delicate piece of ornament into my hair, I was getting ready for the wedding of the eldest son of the Roy Choudharies, Anirudh. The invitation even reached us, and I have to look presentable, my ember eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle as I pursed my lips tightly.

''No funny business at the wedding, get it?'' I jumped a bit when I heard Tapas' voice, his fingers came up and held my face with two of his fingers and turned it towards him, my lips forming a pout due to the pressure of the fingers, his eyes were emotion-less like he was for a whole week.

''Y-yes, I understand'' I stutter, nodding, my fingers fiddling with each other, he hummed and walked away, the sound of his shoes slowly fading.

I couldn't help but awe at the majestic decorations at the prestigious mansion, this was the type of wedding that I always wished, it was so beautiful that I could stare at the florals all day, a smile touched my lips as I walked inside with the crowds of people who were extremely excited for this day.

I stood on the side and adjusted the pleats of my silk, two tendrils of hair falling on my face, Tapas squinted his eyes at me that held a small warning, I gulped and nodded as Anirudh Roy Choudhary walked up the raised platform, sitting down on an Indian position.

I couldn't help but run my eyes down his perfectly tailored dress and dhoti that accentuated his powerful biceps, his face was plastered with a fake smile and his hazels held no sparkle. He smiled up at the beautiful bride that awaited him, she gave him a small smile and sat beside him, they looked so perfect for each other. 

An unfathomable pain filled my being as the rituals, after every vow, my heart felt heavier and heavier, I didn't know what was causing this pain, he didn't even spare me a single glance and that was killing me. 

But when his fingers to mark the partition of her hairs, I felt my knees wobble, I felt weak for the hundredth time in my life.

Without even knowing I fell on my knees onto the floor with a thud, everything blur around me, I felt Tapas' hand come around me and hold me close, I could indistinct chattering from afar, and all eyes were on me, all eyes except his. The hazels that I craved.

***

Anirudh's P.O.V

I was tied, tied for seven births to a girl I never loved romantically, but I had to make her happy, I can't be selfish with my childhood best friend due to my craving for my childhood lov- crush.

I saw her today, in all her glory, more beautiful than mini herself, but I have stopped by my conscience, I saw her faint and fall, but I purposefully didn't even spare a glance, because I can't, I shouldn't, if I looked at her, then all the willpower to hold her in my arms will overcome my control and I will lose myself into my temptation. 

I suddenly felt two arms wrap around me, a familiar scent enveloped, and a genuine smile touched my lips after days of melancholy.

''Meredith'' I whispered ruffling her hair, a chuckle left her lips and she squeezed me in her embrace, her face glowed and her eyes shone, unlike mine.

''At last, I am here, so this is Tulsipur, I am back to you Anirudh!'' she quips hugging Mini too, both of them smiled genuinely at each other.

Within seconds everyone came forward to give us their blessings and their wishes, I froze when she and her husband, I felt her gaze pierce into my skin, but I kept looking straight, ignoring her, when she bend forward to hold my hand, I turned my head to the opposite direction and shut my eyes close as her beautiful scent invaded my senses.

I tightened my fists as her weak voice quivered as she whispered ''Congratulations Mr Anirudh Roy Choudhary'' I exhaled sharply. 

I suddenly stoop up and walked away, getting frowns from everyone, as I walked away I felt a feminine hand grab mine and pull me back, I looked down at Meredith eyes that held fury and confusion. 

''Is that 'her'?'' she asked rather harshly grabbing my collars, shaking my body, I pursed my lips and stayed stoic.

''Answer me lad!'' she ordered shaking me violently, I groaned and ripped her hands off me.

''Yes, it is! What should I do other than ignoring her? Hold her in my arms?'' I roar, my eyes glaring at Meredith. 

''Argh! You Idiot! You are doing the wrong thing! Fight for her! Don't give up'' she seethed smacking my shoulders.

''I can't, I quit, this is over for us, I never met her on that day on the road at the edge of the woods, I never saw a castaway outcast girl, and falling head over heels for her, she was never in my life, come with me'' I whisper grabbing hand, I suddenly looked up and my heart skipped a beat.

Her eyes locked with mine, her eyes were teary and held with pain and I felt numb, I held the gaze for a few seconds before turning and walking away.

Meredith looked at me quizzically as I opened a trunk full of many leather diaries, I took all of it in my hand and stood in front of the furnace.

''These leather books contain words inked with my passion and love for her, she was my muse, I wrote poems and letters for her within these parchments, today they burn'' I whisper making Meredith's eyes widen with horror.

Before she could open her mouth to protest and drop those books into the blazing fire like it was nothing, I didn't even flinch or blink, I just felt numb.

I looked at the pages and leathers crumpling to dust along with the words that held her praise, my desire and love for her, they were just ashes now, a sign that this is the end, there is no beautiful outcast in Anirudh's life.

''Goodbye Bondita Das, You were something for me, now you are nothing, but ashes in between burning embers for me, like the colour of your eyes, this is the end, I will never love you again, Goodbye''

***

Ah well umm, I have something to say other than sorry

''This is not the end'' y'all, just hold one.

https://youtu.be/_iktURk0X-A