Tension. Fear. Hunger. Dread. Anxiety.

These are all the emotions I can see on my little brother's face, and I'm sure he's feeling a lot more on the inside. I have never seen him look more nervous in my whole life. He looks smaller than usual in his oversized Quidditch gear and I don't think James is helping to calm Hugo's nerves one little bit.

"We have to win this one," he keeps repeating as he scoffs down his breakfast, "This is my last chance to take home the cup. We have to win this one!"

Hugo goes very white at James's words and I doubt he even knows that there is food on the plate in front of him. He's staring into the distance and his mind is about a million miles away from the Great Hall. Luckily he hasn't put on any eyeliner today, nor has he gelled his hair down onto his face so it covers his eyes. It's in its normal wild state today and he looks like his old self, save for the fact that his hair is still black and not its natural brown.

When James has eaten six sausages and three eggs, and Merlin knows what else, he gets up from the table and visits each team member individually to go over the plan once more. He starts with Fiona Jordan, a fifth year chaser who is sitting at the far end of the Gryffindor table and I see her roll her eyes as she spots him coming towards her.

"Lads, let's get out of here," Seán Finnegan whispers to Fred, Dom, Hugo and Simon Longbottom, "He's going to start on us next."

Dom, Fred and Simon jump up and rush out of the hall after Seán, but Hugo stays put. I don't think he's heard a word Seán said.

"Hugh, you'll be fine," I try to reassure him, "It's really not that scary once you're out there."

"I'm going to drop the Quaffle," Hugo whispers so that only I can hear him, "I'm not going to save anything. I'm going to make the team lose and James'll kill me."

"He won't kill you," I lie, "Hugo, you're a great keeper."

"No I'm not," he says, "I inherited Mum's Quidditch skill, you got Dad's. It's not fair, you got all the good genes – the Weasley Quidditch skill, the Granger brains –"

"The Malfoy child?" I add, "The red bushy hair? The innate disability to keep my thoughts to myself? Hugo Harry Weasley, stop putting yourself down. It's not a Quidditch problem you have, it's a confidence one." I'm starting to sound just like my mother. Kill me now. "And it'll be Al's goals you'll be trying to block. You've played him hundreds of times at The Burrow. Just imagine you're at Nana and Grandad's, with just the family watching."

"Except it won't be the family," says Hugo miserably, "It'll be the entire school."

"Well...half this school is our bloody family anyway."

"Good luck today, Hugo!" Professor Longbottom grins at him on the way past the table, "You'll make us all proud!"

And thanks to dear old Neville, all of my hard work has gone down the toilet – Hugo is back to being as pale as Nearly Headless Nick and staring into the distance.

James drags Hugo down to the stadium at a quarter to eleven, and the atmosphere is building already all around the school. It seems everybody has divided between red and green. It's difficult to tell who is a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff because they've changed into the colours of the house they'll be supporting. I spot Jenny and Robert in the crowd, Jenny wearing a green scarf and looking very sour beside Robert, who appears to be supporting Gryffindor. They aren't holding hands – they're not even acknowledging each other.

"You're supporting Slytherin?" I gasp with mock disgust when I reach her, "I thought you had better taste, Miss Winters!"

"So did I," I hear Robert mumble and he walks on ahead of us. Jenny glares after him angrily.

"Have I missed something here?" I ask. Jenny shakes her head.

"You're in a better mood today," she observes. There's nothing like Quidditch to put an almost eight month pregnant girl in a good mood. But Merlin help those Slytherins should they beat Gryffindor.

"I can't say the same for you," I frown, "Did you and Robert have an argument?"

"You could say that," she shrugs.

Jenny sits with Roxanne, Lily and I in the Gryffindor stand during the match – and she's just about the only person wearing green – and doesn't even look for Robert. I can't help but be happy that they've had a falling-out. Jenny deserves so much better than him, even though he does seem sorry for what he did to Al. He keeps coming up to me and Scorpius and apologising, but he has yet to say sorry to Al.

The cheers are deafening as the two teams fly out from the changing rooms, and I see James get Al in a headlock instead of shaking his hand like the two captains usually do. Al shoves him away, ruffles James's hair and mounts his broom. I don't know if the baby can sense the excitement, but she or he is kicking like crazy.

Ouch. That kick hurt. This baby is definitely grounded when it's born.

"And so here we are again at the most exciting Quidditch game of the year – the final!" Gregory McPhilips starts his usual commentary, "Two teams, two Potters, two Scamanders – let's just hope they won't start beating the crap out of each other too early into the game..."

Lorcan and Lysander look awkward at this and look away from each other. Lily looks mortified. As far as I know, the Scamanders have decided to forget that anything happened – though neither of them have spoken to Lily since the last match – but it's sort of hard to do that when someone brings it up in front of the whole school.

"It's Hugo Weasley's debut as Gryffindor Keeper – a nice match he chose to start!"

Even from here I can see how nervous Hugo looks. I'm not surprised – I feel just as nervous. After a few minutes, the baby kicks again.

"...Albus Potter makes the shot and – it's saved! Saved by Hugo Weasley!"

James flies over to Hugo and hugs him in mid-air. He then proceeds to take off his t-shirt – he's playing in a red Gryffindor t-shirt as it's too warm to wear the full uniform – and swing it around over his head. And then he throws it into a crowd of boo-ing Slytherins. Like I've said before, James is a strange individual.

After fifteen minutes the score is 20-10 to Gryffindor. Hugo has saved six goals and only let in one. I'm getting stomach cramps every five minutes or so, but am trying to act casual. But then one extra-painful cramp causes me to yelp in pain and I can take it no more.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Lily asks in alarm, and Jenny looks very panicked. Roxanne tears her eyes away from the match (just at the point when her brother, Fred, aims a bludger right at Henrietta Flint) and looks at me too.

"I think I'm in labour," I gasp, angry that I'm only just realising it. I start to breathe heavily like they taught me to do in those waste-of-time-or-so-I-thought antenatal classes Mum made me go to a few weeks ago. I sort of wish I'd listened to them now.

"Y-you can't be in labour!" Lily gasps, "It's only the 7th of June! You're not due until mid-July!"

"Shall I open my legs so you can tell the baby that?" I snap, "It's coming, I can feel it!"

Jenny, Roxanne and Lily jump to their feet immediately. Lily and Roxanne hold my arms while Roxie goes ahead, shouting 'pregnant woman, coming through!' Jenny keeps telling me to breathe, as if I won't unless she tells me to. Lily's still adamant that it's too soon for the baby to come, and there is just no way that this can be possible.

"Well unless the baby has a little penknife in there and is ripping apart my insides, it's happening!" I cry at her.

When we reach the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey remains calm as we explain the situation to her. She sits me down on one of the beds and tells me to relax.

"When was your last contraction?" she asks.

"Four and a half minutes ago," Lily answers for me, looking at her watch, "And it lasted one minute and twelve seconds."

Madame Pomfrey runs her wand over my stomach and mutters incantations I've never heard of before.

"Alright, what you've been experiencing are Braxton Hicks contractions – 'false labour' in other words," she tells me after a few moments, "It's nothing to worry about, plenty of women get them. The baby is not coming – not today anyway."

"Nothing to worry about?" Jenny gasps, "How can you say that it's nothing to worry about? I thought...I thought..."

"I thought she was going to pop right there in the Quidditch stadium!" Roxie cries.

"You did the right thing by bringing her here," Madame Pomfrey assures them, "Rose, if you ever experience any serious pain, do not hesitate to come to me."

I calm down when her words sink in. I'm not in labour. My baby is not coming today. I'm not about to become a mother. I can't help but feel intensely relieved. I mean, how could I become a mother today? I've just been dealing with the pregnancy – I haven't even thought of how I'm going to feel when this child actually comes into the world. I've not mentally prepared myself just yet, considering I have at least another month to do it.

Madame Pomfrey lets us go back to the Quidditch match after a few minutes (though I'm really not in the mood for it anymore), but when we draw near to the entrance hall, everybody else is coming back in. Apparently the match is over.

"Who won?" Roxie squeals, "I can't believe we missed it!"

It's hard to tell who won because everyone is chatting excitedly to each other. I'm guessing they're all either Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, because nobody seems too happy or too depressed. Jenny grabs the first person who passes us, a rather short, fat boy, and demands to know who won the match.

"Weren't you there?" the boy asked, his voice clearly breaking.

"Would she be asking if she was there, Henry?" Roxie snaps, "Who won the bloody match?!"

"G-Gryffindor!"

I'd join Roxie and Lily in cheering, only I'm afraid I'll go into false labour again. Who knows what could set it off? Instead I just grin widely and feel so overwhelmingly relieved that James will not be murdering my little brother today. Jenny looks a bit disappointed.

"A- I mean, the Slytherins will be so upset," she says sadly. Lily looks at her incredulously. "W-what?" Jenny stumbles, "I'm just saying...nobody likes to lose...Rose, aren't you sorry that Scorpius lost?"

"No," I scoff, "Where is he so I can rub it in his face?"

As hundreds of students swarm back into the school, we take refuge in the Gryffindor Tower, which is completely empty except for Laura, who is playing a game of Wizard's Chess with a House Elf. The House Elf panics when he sees us come in, so he disappears straight away, as if we're about to take off our clothes and throw them at him. They're such strange little creatures. I'm not quite sure why Mum loves them so much.

"I was winning," Laura frowns at us, "That House Elf was going to pay me six galleons if I won."

"You were going to take gold from a House Elf?" Jenny asks her, "That's awful! That's a whole week's wages for those poor elves!" Laura looks at Jenny and raises one eyebrow at her. I try to raise one eyebrow too, but I can't. It's not that I want to raise my eyebrow at Jenny, I'd just like to be able to do it. I probably look weird now, because Roxie is looking at me very strangely.

"Look Julie, fair's fair. If he'd won, I'd have given him the six galleons."

"It's Jenny, actually," she frowns at Laura, "And why weren't you at the Quidditch match?"

Oh why, Jenny? Why must you ask these questions? Why must we dig up the past?

"I've been banned from all Quidditch matches, remember?" Laura says, with half a bitter smile.

"Oh I remember now," says Jenny, "Well it's not like you didn't deserve it."

Just keep digging, Jen. This hole isn't quite deep enough yet. Luckily Laura just shoots her a very bitchy look, but doesn't retaliate because James has just run into the common room, waving a red and gold flag around and shouting. Laura rolls her eyes and heads up to the dormitory, not wanting to remain in the presence of the boy who broke her heart in front of the entire world.

"WE WON!" James screams, as if we couldn't have guessed, "You should've seen Al, he looks like he's going to cry! WE WON! WE WON!"

I wish I could have seen it. I always enjoy a good Quidditch match and I've never missed a final before. I suppose this is just another big change in my life – I have no more time for Quidditch.

"Caught the snitch before Scorp even had time to chase it! Red, I hope your kid inherits its uncle's seeking abilities!" James grins, pointing to himself.

"Eh, James? You do realise you're not going to be the baby's uncle, don't you?" Lily says.

James stares at her blankly. "Yes...I'm not stupid, Lily." Lily raises her eyebrows at me. "Anyway, the party starts at eight tonight – be there or be circles!"

As if we don't have enough parties in this common room, James always organises a massive get-together every year Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup. It's going to be even bigger than his birthday party, though I do hope the outcome is much less severe for me. At least I won't be drinking at this one.

I decide to spend the day catching up on homework, but I find it very hard to concentrate because every time the baby kicks, I'm afraid I'm going into labour. On top of that, I hardly even have a minute to myself because Lily, Roxie and Jenny keep popping in to see if I'm alright. I appreciate their support and everything, but really, a girl needs a minute to herself if she wants to write two ft of parchment on Amortentia. When I'm about half way through the essay, Lily dashes into the dormitory (where I'm doing my homework, thinking I won't be disturbed here) breathless.

"Scorpius is looking for you!" she gasps, "He's really worried."

"Why is he really worried?" I frown at her.

"Well..." she begins and looks down at the floor, "I may have let it slip that...you had contractions during the match..."

"Lily!"

I could strangle her right now. For a girl who was telling everybody not to piss me off, she's being quite the hypocrite. I go down to the common room, which has already been decorated with red and gold banners, and find Scorpius waiting anxiously at the bottom of the stairs.

"What happened? Are you alright? Lily said you went into labour –"

"False labour," I frown, "I'm fine, it was just Braxton Hicks contractions. They're very common, apparently."

"Are you sure?" he presses, "Why didn't you call me?"

I glare at him, wondering how someone so book-smart could be so stupid. "You were playing a Quidditch match, what was I supposed to do? Hold up a sign saying 'Scorpius, I'm having your baby!'?"

"No...but you had all day to tell me," he argues, "You never want to involve me in anything!"

"Don't start now," I sigh tiredly, "I didn't see the point in telling you, it was a false alarm."

"You didn't see the point?" he scoffs, "Christ, Rose I do my best to look out for you but you're just so..."

"So what?" I ask angrily.

"So bloody delicate all the time!" he shouts, "Everything I do you take it up the wrong way! I just can't win with you!"

"Stop being so dramatic," I hiss, because people are now starting to look at us, "I can't believe you're being so childish about this."

"I'm not the one being childish. I can't believe you didn't think to tell me –"

"Don't start on me, Scorpius!" I warn him, "I'm not the only one keeping secrets here!" He looks at me, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "I know you took the money from your dad."

"And why the hell do you think I did that?"

"I know, to help! You're like a broken record these days! I've told you, I can do this myself!"

"Fine," he says in a low voice, "Do it yourself." And with one last pitiful look, he turns around and leaves the common room.

What the hell just happened? Did Scorpius just dump me? Me, his eight month pregnant girlfriend? I stand, rooted to the floor for about five minutes, staring at the spot he was just standing in. I feel Lily's hand on my arm, but I barely even notice her there. I feel like someone's cast Petrificus Totalus on me, because I can't move.

"Rose?" Lily says my name softly, "Come on, let's go back upstairs."

I can feel everybody looking at me, but I don't care. Lily tugs my arm a little bit harder and I let her lead me upstairs to my dormitory. She sits me down on my bed and waits for me to say something. I'm not quite sure what to say.

"Are you alright?" Lily asks after a few minutes, "I'm sure he didn't mean it. He was just angry and frightened because of what happened..."

"Lily, could I be alone for a while please?" I ask her. She nods, rubs my arm and leaves. I tell myself I'm not going to get upset about this. I know I'm not going to cry, because I don't feel sad – I feel angry. I want to throw something at someone. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to grab Professor Flitwick and drop-kick him through the Quidditch posts. But instead I breathe. I breathe in and out for a few minutes. I count to ten about a billion times. Because I can't get angry anymore, not if I don't want to stress out the baby.

I stay in the dormitory all through dinner. Nobody comes to see me – I presume Lily has told them I want my space. I mull it all over in my brain and come to the conclusion I'd hoped I'd never come to, but always suspected I would.

At around half seven, I hear the victory party get underway in the common room below me, but I'm really not in the mood for celebrating. Another person not really in the mood for celebrating is Jenny, so she comes up to the dormitory to be my misery's company.

"I heard what happened," is the first thing she says to me, "Why are men such pigs?"

I shrug. I don't really want to get into a 'women's lib, burn our bras' kind of situation here, but I completely agree with her. The baby kicks at this too – there, I'm convinced it's a man-hating girl, or else a boy protesting.

"I want to dump Robert," she announces.

I momentarily forget all about my men troubles and go back to concentrating on hers. This is just about the only thing in the world that can cheer me up. I'm so happy to hear this I could do the Hippogriff step. The Hippogriff-step is quite a complex dance move that should only be attempted by very drunk grandmothers on a Friday night – it involves a lot of flapping your arms and bobbing your head, while running around in a circle. It's definitely not a safe dance for pregnant women to do.

"Well then do it!" I cry, "He's an arse!"

"He's not that bad," she tries to defend, "...okay, he's a complete arse. But I can't dump him."

"Why not?"

"Well...I've never dumped anyone before," she shrugs, "I don't know how to do it."

"May I remind you of Albus Potter? You dumped him fairly quickly," I point out, "Why don't you get him pregnant and then tell him to raise the child himself? That's always a great way to dump someone." So maybe I haven't completely forgotten about my boy troubles.

"I'm sure Scorpius didn't mean it," says Jenny softly, "I saw him in the common room, he looks terrible."

"Well he's a Slytherin at a Gryffindor victory party, he should look terrible," I say, "And we're not talking about Scorpius, we're talking about Robert. Just tell him you don't want to be with him anymore. It's simple."

She sighs heavily and shakes her head in despair. "You know what this calls for?" she asks and I shrug, "It calls for a sleepover."

"I haven't had a sleepover since third year," I tell her, "And I'm really not in the mood..."

"It's perfect! You've been through so much today. Dom will be here, and I can ask Lily to come too! Do you want Molly there?"

"Okay first of all, we're not having a sleepover," I say firmly, "And secondly, if we were having a sleepover, why on earth would you invite Monster Molly?"

"Okay, no Molly," says Jenny excitedly, "We'll steal some food from the party and bitch about boys!"

"You're forgetting Chas and Laura sleep here too," I point out.

"I like Chas," Jenny shrugs, "And Laura...well, she'll be outnumbered, won't she? This is just what you need, Rose! Please, say yes!"

"Fine..." I start, "Fine. We'll have a sleepover –"

"Yes!"

"If you dump Robert tonight."

Her face falls. "Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"Fine," she sighs, "Then I'm inviting Molly!"

She leaves the dormitory and I decide to follow her down. I'm going to have to face him sometime, and if Jenny can face Robert, I can face Scorpius. The common room is completely packed. Al is here, which is brave of him considering he's the captain of the losing team. He appears to be having a good time too.

"You look surprisingly upbeat," I say as I approach him.

"Can't win them all," he shrugs, "And anyway, I'm going to win it next year."

I can tell that after his victory in the last match, Al feels as if he's won anyway. He pours himself another drink of Butterbeer – since his bad drinking experience at Ted's wedding, he's been avoiding the dreaded alcohol – and looks very content. I have to say, he's a very good loser.

I notice Robert Hitch walk past us and he says nothing to Al, which I'm thankful for. The last thing we need is a brawl in the common room. Al's bruises from the last ones haven't disappeared yet.

"Hitch," Al calls.

Apparently I spoke too soon.

Robert turns around and faces Al. For a moment neither of them say anything and everyone turns around to have a good look at what's going to happen next. I can see James over the opposite side of the common room, surrounded by girls, but looking over, ready to jump in in the event of a scrap.

Then, to everyone's shock, Al extends a hand.

"Truce?"

Robert looks at his hand, nods and shakes it. He then skulks away, clearly ashamed that Al is the bigger man here. I've never been more proud of my cousin.

"It had to be done," Al shrugs at me when he sees the shocked look on my face. I can see Jenny looking at him in the same way.

"Well...I'm proud of you, Al," I grin, "I didn't know you Slytherins could be so forgiving."

Al grins back at me, but then looks at Robert again, who is now being approached by Jenny. He looks sad to see them together, but also as if he's accepted it.

"She's dumping him tonight, you know," I say.

"Oh, really?" he asks, trying his best to sound casual.

"You can grin if you like."

And because he's just not that good of a liar, he grins.

*

Scorpius does not look in the party mood, so why he is sitting on the couch by the fireplace is completely beyond me. Perhaps he thought he'd lose face if he didn't show up. I sit down beside him. This couch is the one we played the game of 'I Never' on almost eight months ago. This is the couch we had our first kiss on. This is the couch that started our journey into the dormitory and ultimately into parenthood.

"I don't want to fight," I start the conversation.

"Neither do I," he agrees.

"It seems like it's all we do these days."

He nods. He knows exactly what I do, and apparently he's accepted it, but it's going to be me who has to say it.

"I think we fought less when we were...just friends," I say, trying not to choke up. This is harder than I thought.

"I love you, Rose," he looks at me, "But it's just too hard."

"And I love you too," I tell him and take his hand, "I really do. But I think we just need to concentrate on the baby for now."

He nods and puts his arm around me and we just sit there in each others arms for a while. I end up crying, even though I promised myself I wouldn't.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier," he says quietly, "You're not alone in this."

"I know I'm not," I reply, "I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day."

"Right," he says and helps me to get up. Then he pulls me into the most heartfelt hug I've ever experienced. It makes me cry even more, but silently. I wipe my tears away as we embrace.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"I'm sorry too."

*

Jenny is in the dormitory when I arrive there, with a copious amount of sweets and drinks surrounding her. She's changed into her pyjamas already and she looks extremely happy with herself.

"I did it!" she squeals happily, "I broke up with Robert! And he took it quite well, actually. I mean, he seemed a bit upset, but that'll pass."

"That's great, Jen," I smile, but my heart's not in it.

"And I saw you talking to Scorpius! I told you that you two would work it out."

I can't bring myself to tell her what happened. Before I even have the chance to say anything, Lily and Molly burst in with the duvets and pillows off their beds. Apparently Jenny wasn't bluffing when she said she'd invite Molly. If I survive this night, it'll be a miracle.

I go into the bathroom to wipe my face before anyone notices I've been crying. I have to be strong. This is what's best, and both Scorpius and I know it. But I've never been less in the mood for a sleepover in my life. I change into my extra-baggy Chudley Cannon's t-shirt and my expanded pyjama bottoms, take a few deep breaths, and go back out to Lily, Molly and Jenny. Laura, apparently sick of the party, has arrived up now and looks very confused as to why Lily and Molly have their bedclothes in our dormitory.

"We're having a man-beating session," I explain to her, "You in?"

She looks at me sceptically. "Man-beating you say? I'm always in." I grin at her and she grins back. I can't believe I used to hate the girl. She's such a bitch – my kind of person. It's not really that she's changed, it's more that I'm on her good side now. She changes into her pyjamas and brings her bedclothes down onto the floor, ready to join in the festivities.

"I didn't know this meeting was to complain about men," says Molly. Only Molly could call a sleepover a 'meeting'. "My boyfriend is very efficient I'll have you know!"

"Efficient, eh?" Laura grins mischievously, "Molly Weasley, you dark horse, I didn't think you'd be shagging a bloke with the Cautionary Tale for a cousin."

"Thanks," I say sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant," Molly says firmly.

"She's just messing with you, Molly," I laugh, "How is L – I mean, John." I nearly called him 'Library Man'.

"He's fine, thank you," she says haughtily.

"Efficient," Laura sniggers.

"Leave her alone, Laura," Jenny warns.

"Oh here comes Julie to the rescue," says Laura in a mocking tone, "When she's not saving House Elves, she's coming to the defence of Molly Weasley. Aren't you just the bees knees?"

"It's Jenny," Jenny spits, even though Laura knows her name perfectly well, "And do you have to be a bitch the whole time?"

"Do you have to be a goodie two-shoes the whole time?" Laura sneers.

"Okay, girls, let's just forget it –" Lily starts.

"Goodie two-shoes? I'll hex you through that wall and we'll see who's the goodie two-shoes!" Jenny draws her wand. Laura draws hers too, but I can't imagine Laura will win if the two of them duel it out. Laura's not exactly the smartest of girls and Jenny is a Ravenclaw and knows a great deal more than her.

"Seriously, put your wands away," Lily insists. Molly's looking on in interest – she clearly wants a showdown.

"Make me," Laura snaps.

"Scorpius and I have agreed to just be friends," I blurt out. Jenny and Laura lower their wands and look at me in shock, and Molly actually gasps. Well, at least it prevented Laura being hexed through the wall.

"B-but why?" Lily asks, "I thought you two would just make up like you always do!"

"It just...it wasn't working," I say and I can feel the tears coming again, "Can we not talk about this, on second thought? Go back to pointing your wands at each other."

The girls stay silent for a few minutes. They look just as upset as I feel, which I find quite surprising because I didn't think they cared whether I was with Scorpius or not. I thought Lily would be secretly happy considering she used to fancy him, but she looks the most upset. I don't think I'd be that upset if Teddy and Victoire broke up. In fact, the thought kind of makes me smile on the inside. We all have our guilty pleasures, right? Then again, if it actually happened I might feel completely different.

Dom and Chas come stumbling into the dormitory, clearly intoxicated and giggling.

"Oh, sleepover!" Dom cries when she sees us sat in a circle on the ground. She runs over and plops down beside me. The smell of alcohol off her is almost making me drunk. "Rosie-Posie! You're my favourite cousin. No offence Lily and...Molly, what the fuck are you doing here?"

There's nothing like a drunk Dom to lift the tension.

"I was invited, I'll have you know," says Molly, sitting up straighter.

"Right...well, there's a first time for everything!"

We fill Dom and Chas in on our man-beating sleepover, even though there's not a whole lot of man-beating going on. In fact there's more angry glaring between Jenny and Laura than anything else. But we settle into it after a few minutes and it turns out that it's Molly who kicks the whole thing off.

"I don't like it when John wants to kiss when I'm trying to read," she announces and the rest of us burst out laughing. "It's distracting!"

"Oh Molly, he's so lucky to have you," Lily laughs.

"No, I get where she's coming from," says Dom, half-seriously, "I hate it when Mark tries to open my bra when I'm trying to do an essay."

We all look at her blankly. "So you really have no idea where she's coming from then," says Chas, "No, what I hate is when blokes scream out Quidditch scores during sex...like when they...you know...and then they shout 'it's the snitch for 150 points'!"

This time none of us laugh. We're all so disturbed, it's as if we'll never laugh again. We'd have more fun with a Dementor in the room.

"Chas, who the hell are you sleeping with?"

"Y-you've never been with a guy –"

"Nope, we haven't, moving on," says Jenny quickly.

"I used to like it when James would sort of cup my face in his hand when we'd kiss," says Laura and this is surprisingly sensitive for her.

"Al used to do that all the time!" Jenny cries.

"And did he have his 'I want to kiss now' face?" Laura asks excitedly.

"Oh my god," Jenny laughs and then makes a weird face.

"That's it!" Laura bursts out laughing.

It's odd the things people bond over.

Lily puts her fingers in her ears. "They are my brothers, you know!"

"Come on then, Lily, it's your turn," I tell her.

She looks at Laura and Jenny in disgust and then thinks about what she's going to say. "I like it when a boy randomly kisses you when you're least expecting it. I like the spontaneous type."

"So is this Lorcan or Lysander you're talking about?" Dom grins and Lily throws a pillow at her. "It had to be said!"

Nobody says anything for a few minutes. It's as if we're all thinking of what we love and hate the most about our boyfriends – or should I say, ex-boyfriends.

"It was Fred, by the way," says Chas to break the silence. We all look at her.

"Y-you don't mean the Quidditch scores bloke do you?" I ask, suddenly feeling sick. Chas grins naughtily. I'll never be able to look at Fred ever again.

But I have to say, a bit of girly banter really is the best medicine for a broken heart. It doesn't mend it completely, but it helps it on the way - at least for a little while.