Music is a blessing, really. I couldn't get through the day without it. The idea of hearing what everyone thought of me and how I looked scared the absolutely shit out of me. Music lowered that anxiety but even though I was blasting it loud enough for the entire world to hear, I couldn't help but think about what everyone was thinking.

I know I was dressed like trash. I mean, I barely woke up in time today, so I was too tired to put any real effort. A hoodie and sweat pants usually means someone's life is falling apart. I even had my hood up trying not to show my face. I honestly wanted to disappear or sink into the floor when someone so much as looked at me. It was stressful.

I hid in the bathroom during lunch knowing that Lovino was probably in the library. He wouldn't hesitate to kick me out. So, the bathroom it was. Like all public bathrooms it was utter shit but I went to the one in the music wing because people rarely used it. Less interaction and less shit everywhere. It was a positive on all ends. I could even hear the orchestra in the distance. It was all so soothing. Not enough to calm the chaos in my own head though.

I wasn't hungry. Something not too new, really. I was too busy trying to focus on the homework I hadn't done yet. Of course, I got a raging headache. I ended up staring at the tiled walls while my head pulsed every time I so much as breathed. I could easily just stay here. No one would notice. My attendance record would take a small hit. Dad would probably yell at me for it but that's barely a punishment. He barely has control over me anymore. At least, I like to think so.

God, my life is such a mess. I outwardly groaned for that one. I ended up finding the mirror more interesting than the tiles. Whoever decided to put a huge mirror on the bathroom must've been a giant asshole.

I really did look like I just came out of a dump. The bags under my eyes were huge. My hair was an utter trainwreck. My clothes we're so old and baggy-I looked like I just woke up after sleeping in a ditch! It's horrific!

And so, my meltdown was set into motion. I can't remember starting to cry but I do remember hitting myself over and over. Mainly my head. It didn't help my headache at all. I could have probably permanently done something to my head. And I almost wanted that, honestly. I didn't smack my head for too long. It started to hurt too much and I was too shaky to really do much anymore.

In the distance I heard the bell ring but I stayed in my spot. It would be too embarrassing to show my face tear-stained and a bit bruised up.

God, I'm a mess. My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket. And it kept buzzing. Some lunatic was calling me. That lunatic being Kiku. A huge weight of guilt hit me hard. He would be so disappointed by all this. I still answered after a couple of huge breaths.

"Hey!" My voice cracked.

"Where are you?"

"Bathroom, why?"

"Music wing?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Okay, I'm coming in."

"What?" I froze in panic once my head caught up. "No, no-wait-!" It was took late, he walked in anyway. We made eye contact for a brief second. I dropped my phone and hid my face with my hands.

"Alfred..." I peeked through my fingers and say him walk up to me and kneel down in front of me. "What are you doing in here?" I didn't answer and he frowned. "Let me see your face." I shook my head with in a whimper. "Alfred, come on."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I look gross."

"And?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Alfred." He placed his hands over mine, worming his finished through to get a grip. "Don't be crazy." Slowly he peeled off my hands. I saw his nice warm small then. "You look fine." He moved his hands to caress my face. His brows furrowed as he scanned my face. "What happened?" He asked as he pressed down slightly on a growing bruise.

"I fell." I lied.

"It looks like you got into a fight."

"Don't worry, I didn't."

He sighed, "Why are you in here, Al?"

"Reasons." Such as being mentally torn down. I didn't have the balls to add that.

"Do you want to leave?" I shook my head slowly at that. "Then I'll stay here with you." Truth be told, I was relieved.

"Okay." Sometime I wonder where I'd be with out him. It's a thought I really don't ever want to have becaude I know life without him would be absolute hell.

He let go of me and stood up and in turn I did too. I looked around for my phone and found it a foot away. I went for it but I slipped on the damp floor. Suddenly, I was on the ground again. Behind me I heard Kiku giggle. I couldn't help but smile at his adorable giggling.

I just keep falling for him more and more everyday.