CHAPTER XI: PAIN

"Are you sure about this?" Damian asked me after we just parted from our kiss for a little while.

Tumango naman ako sa kaniya habang bumaba ang mga mata ko sa labi niya. Our faces were so close to each other. "Yes..." I answered.

And he nodded as well before he kissed my lips again. And I let him kiss me and devour my lips that when we parted again only for air I was almost out of breath.

Then he carried me up in his arms and brought me straight to his bedroom and down to his soft bed...

Naramdaman ko ang lambot ng kama niya sa likod ko. Habang napatingin din muli ako sa kaniya na nasa harapan ko na. Our lips were both parted as we're looking at each other's eyes.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked me in a whisper because our face were already so close to each other.

Unti-unti naman akong tumango sa kaniya habang nakahiga ako roon at kaharap ko nga siya. "I am..." I answered as well.

Muli siyang tumango. And then he gently touched the hair on the side of my head. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything..." He carefully told me.

At halos matulala pa ako sa kaniya panandalian nang sandali rin na nawala ang isip ko sa nangyayari ngayon. I was thinking if he was also just like this to all the women he slept with...

But for the past months that we're almost always together I think he's not seeing other girls...

Kami naman kasi ang palaging magkasama. And all he does was sunduin ako at ihatid din sa trabaho ko. And then we would often hang out here in his condo o kaya ay kumain din sa labas at mamasyal. We were always together...

And this... What I'm about to do with Damian now. I am giving him my consent... Because... I simply want to do this with him...

Was it still part of the plan? It can be or not... But I don't care anymore. After all my plan will benefit from this, too...

Bumaba na ang mga halik ni Damian sa panga ko at pababa pa sa leeg ko at dibdib...

Napapikit ako.

But just little did I know of what was really to happen to me when it comes to doing this thing with a man...

Hindi ko inasahan, that despite also feeling good about it, it could be painful as well...

Siguro ay dahil na rin sa kawalan ko pa masyado ng kaalaman pagdating sa bagay na ito. And I still lack experience so...

"W-What are you doing, Damian?" I asked him in an alarmed tone. Kasi bakit naman siya pumunta sa gitna ng mga hita ko...

Nag-angat lang siya sa akin ng tingin sandali na nakangiti pa sa akin. Habang tinukod ko naman ang mga siko ko para makabangon ako at maangat bahagya ang sarili ko at makita ko siya na nakayuko na roon sa gitna ng mga hita ko. At pagkatapos ay binalik ko rin sa pagkakahiga ang likod ko nang maramdaman ko na ang labi... at dila niya roon sa gitna ko...

"You will like it. I'll make you feel good first..." That's what he said.

Napatingin na lang ako sa ceiling ng kwarto niya bago ko rin naipikit na lang din ang mga mata ko habang umawang na rin ang labi ko.

And then a strange sound escaped my lips. Then I realized that I was already moaning even Damian's name as he truly made me feel so good...

Pero ang sarap ay doon lang dahil nang umalis siya roon ay nanghina rin ako. Pagkatapos ay muli pa kaming naghalikan. When I think about this before I thought that it was dirty, but then I just didn't have a care now.

Muli kaming nagkatinginan ni Damian bago ko naramdaman na hinawakan na niya ang hita ko at hinaplos din ito. Pagkatapos ay parang pinusisyon na rin niya ang sarili niya in the middle of my now widely parted thighs...

I felt so open for him now...

And then he kissed my lips once more as he massaged my breasts again as well... Before I felt him slowly and carefully penetrating me...

But no matter how he tried to be careful, it was still painful at first. And the pain felt like mahahati na nito ang katawan ko. Napapikit ako sa sakit. He tried to put his hand in between us... and he started massaging my clit...

Pero sa una ay damang-dama ko pa rin talaga ang sakit. But not until I already slowly got used to it... and I got used to him...

I realized that the pain that my first time had caused me, was already slowly disappearing and was instead replaced with a good feeling...

Umawang muli ang labi ko. And I moaned together with Damian as he moved into a repeated movement like our body was even dancing to a certain rhythm...

And I heard the small creaking of the bed. Para bang sumasabay din sa bahagyang pag-uga ng kama ang paggalaw ni Damian sa ibabaw ko. And I even watched him as he was doing it... to me...

"Damian..." I called his name softly and was followed by my soft moan as well.

And when it was done I feel like I've experienced it once again, iyong naramdaman ko rin kanina habang nasa gitna pa ng mga hita ko sa Damian... But this time it's just more intense...

I woke up and the sun was already shining outside Damian's window. Nilibot ko pa ang paningin ko sa loob ng kwarto niya habang naaalala ko ang mga nangyari lang sa aming dalawa kagabi rito sa condo niya.

I remember him taking care of me and wiping me clean warmly after we did it. He also changed me into a comfortable clothes and it was his own clothes. Kaya naman siguro naging mahimbing din ang tulog ko kagabi pagkatapos...

I sighed a bit to myself. I remember also how he was gentle and careful with me...

But I also shook my head after thinking about that. Hindi ako dapat nagpapalinlang sa pinapakita at pinaparamdam niya sa akin.

I should be more mindful now...

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