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CHAPTER X: JEALOUSY

Pinagpatuloy ko pa rin ang mga pakikipagkita ko kay Damian. After all we have already become friends...

At ano ang iisipin niya kapag bigla na lang na hindi na ako nakipagkita sa kaniya?

And it wasn't also my option to stop this now. I'm already here and backing out was already out of the picture.

I should just better prepare myself now...

"So you're saying that Millie and your cousin is in a relationship?" I asked Damian nang mapag-usapan na rin namin.

Tumango naman siya sa akin. "Yup." Ngumisi pa siya.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang naman ako nang marahan...

I couldn't believe myself that I was actually feeling relief now after knowing that? I don't really get myself anymore.

Was I... even feeling that jealousy? But why would I be jealous now? What the hell.

Am I actually being serious with my own thoughts right now?

I shook my head after I also touched it with my hand. I was having really crazy thoughts right now. I feel like I'd go crazy...

Was this the reason why they said that revenge was no good? Tsk.

Kung ano-ano na lang talaga ang mga naiisip ko. Parang masisiraan pa yata ako ng bait...

I should seriously stop...

Sa trabaho ko naman ay tinatanong na rin ako ng ilang katrabaho ko na nakakakita kay Damian na madalas din akong sunduin at ihatid sa workplace ko. Naging parang driver ko na nga rin siya. Pero hindi ko naman sinasabi sa kaniya na ihatid at sunduin niya ako. At kusa niya lang iyong ginagawa.

Kaya naman hinahayaan ko na lang din siya.

"Are you sure they're in a relationship, though?" I still doubtfully asked Damian.

Tumingin naman siya sa akin habang kumakain kami ng dinner ngayon sa isang restaurant matapos niya akong sunduin sa trabaho ko.

"Yes... Why?" sagot naman niya.

Unti-unti akong umiling sa kaniya. I don't know why it still bothers me...

I looked at Damian at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. And as if the next words just naturally came out of my mouth. I couldn't stop my curiosity or myself anymore...

I just wanted to know. "But you and her grew up together?" I asked Damian.

Nakatingin naman siya sa akin. At halos tumigil na rin siya sa pagkain para lang matugunan ako sa mga tanong ko ngayon sa kaniya. "Yup. Millie and I were both raised by my grandparents... But, why do you ask?" tinanong na rin niya ako. He's probably curious as well now that I'm asking him such questions.

I ended up sighing. Tapos ay bahagya rin ako muling umiling sa kaniya. "Nothing... I just... am curious." I looked at his eyes.

And he was looking back at my eyes, too.

Pagkatapos ay nagpatuloy pa siya sa pagsasabi sa akin ng tungkol kay Millie. "She was a dear friend to me... After all, we grew up together..." He said.

At nakatingin lang siya sa akin habang nagkukuwento siya ng mga bagay tungkol sa kaniyang kababata. And no matter how I tried to hide it, I think my true emotions still showed on my face that Damian ended up smiling at me...

"Are you actually feeling the jealousy now over my childhood friend?" He asked me as he also watched my reaction carefully.

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko sa halos biglaang tanong sa akin ni Damian. And he probably noticed too how I feel because of my questions about his childhood friend...

But... that was what I have been thinking about...

And I wasn't that dense. I've experienced such feelings of jealousy as well before... When I had such silly crushes as well just like any other normal girls...

Kapag naiisip ko na may ibang gusto ang taong nagugustuhan ko ay nakakaramdam din naman ako ng selos...

Ang pinagkaiba nga lang ngayon, it wasn't as intense as this...

I almost grunt to myself. Talagang nababaliw na ako.

Halos marahas akong umiling kay Damian. "No..." I shook my head. "It's not like that..." I even tried to deny it...

And I still couldn't explain it to him.

At kung naririnig ko nga nang maayos ngayon ang sarili kong pag-iisip ay parang inamin ko na rin sa sarili ko na nagugustuhan ko na nga rin si Damian...

And it's the craziest thing for someone like me who's even thinking of revenge...

At isa lang ang pwede kong isagot ngayon sa sarili ko, at iyon ay ang nababaliw na nga yata ako...

Umiling din sa akin si Damian at ngumiti siya. "Just forget about what I said..." aniya.

Nakatingin kaming dalawa sa isa't isa. Hanggang sa unti-unti na rin akong tumango.

"I wasn't saying that you actually like me..." but he still naughtily said while looking at me. And as if he's actually even teasing me about it...

Umawang naman ang labi ko sa kaniya at hindi pa agad ako nakapagsalita. My eyes were also widening a fraction at what he said.

Pero kung iisipin mo... kung sabagay nga naman you'd only feel jealousy when you actually like the person...

And in the end instead of feeling miserable about it, I instead used it to my advantage...

I just realized that I can also use this situation...

"And what if I am?" deretsahan ko naman na tanong sa kaniya pagkatapos...

And now it's his turn for his lips to part while looking at me. While I smiled at him sweetly.

I realize that I can also play your game, Damian Axel Delgado...

Maybe I also came to like him now as he was also not bad to me currently...

He's handsome and hot... and he can be a gentleman as well...

And I'll just take advantage of the way he was now with me...

Hindi na kailangan na malalim ko pa talagang pag-isipan ang bagay na ito o ang nararamdaman ko...

Because... it doesn't matter anyway, after all...

I'm only here for my mission—my revenge. I didn't have time to even think and ponder about how I feel now. As it doesn't really matter.

"Paano nga kung may gusto na nga ako sa'yo, Damian?" I asked him with the thought in my mind that he must probably like me as well. Since I believe he wouldn't be here with me now if he's not even a bit interested in me, right?

Nanatili kaming nakatingin sa isa't isa. What will you say to me now, Damian...

I can feel the pressure for the both of us right at that moment. At halos wala nang mga salita ang lumabas sa mga bibig namin pagkatapos. At para bang may sarili na kaming napag-usapan sa mga utak namin kahit sa tinginan pa lang...

We both stood up from our seats and we left the restaurant after we just had dinner...

And then we ended up at his place again. And this time it's not anymore just me simply coming over to his condo to cook us meal and we would only eat food there...

At alam ko na pareho lang kami ng iniisip ni Damian...

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