You knew him as the quiet brilliant boy sitting smack dab in the middle of class. You didn't know why but you always found your eyes chasing after him. When did it start? You weren't quite sure.

Perhaps, it was the first time he was late and you had to check attendance. Perhaps it was that time all his tardies racked up and you managed to get him to help you with your duties as class representative in exchange for you excusing his tardies. Perhaps it was the time you first spoke to each other properly, about something other than school and studies. Perhaps it was the first time he walked you home. Perhaps it was the first time you said good morning and he returned it with an equally sweet salutation. Perhaps it was that time when it rained and he broke his umbrella just as he was about to offer to share it with you because you forgot your own and you ended up staying at school with him and talking until the rain let up but it didn't so he shielded you with his jacket and the two of you ran all the way to the station. Or perhaps it was the time...no.

Perhaps it was the sum of everything.

After all, it doesn't start from nowhere. It comes from something small then it builds up gradually, like sand in an hourglass. A shared glance, a secret smile, a glimmer in his eyes that only you know. All you knew was that somehow, Kim Namjoon managed to fill up your heart and he wasn't intent on leaving anytime soon. And you didn't mind.

One day, the two of you are sitting by the benches at lunch and your heart feels like it's about to burst and you can't do a thing about it anymore. You're listening to him talk about this demo he's working on in his spare time, he lets you read the lyrics he's scribbled in his notebook, he talks about an underground rap scene he's been dying to get in. The next thing you know, he's handing you a date and time, and asking you to 'cover up because it gets rowdy in there'.

You remember promising that you'd go simply because you wanted to see, wanted to see, to feel, what it was that consumed him. What this music made him feel that it lit up his eyes when he talked about it, that made him want to throw away the scholarship he was bound to receive in some big university in Seoul, what made him want to go off course and try something out there. You wanted to see his dream, to understand him.

Because you liked him so damn much.

That night, you lie to your parents and make your sister swear to keep your secret. Even she's happy for you. Your heart pounds insistently against your chest (you swear that everyone in a 5 mile radius would hear) as you make your way to the spot Namjoon scribbled on the piece of paper he handed you.

He breaks into a smile when he sees you, a smile that makes your heart beat even faster that you're terrified he'd hear the treacherous sound of your heartbeat. When he greets you with a hug and tells you how much this means to him you almost tell him how much he means to you too. But you manage to keep the words deep down your heart because you'd walk through hot coals before you would even dare to jeopardise your friendship.

You walk at a brisk pace, you can see Namjoon in the corner of your eye, practically bouncing with excitement on the way. You wonder when he'll feel as passionate about you too.