He lowered his hands to my thighs and pull up the hem of the hoodie. I can feel my heart racing against the walls of its ribcage. When he took off the hoodie, he carelessly dropped it. I am hyper-aware of everything, even the sound of the material hitting the ground and then the trials of his fingers moving up my bare arms, and the steady pace of his breathing. When he reached my shoulder, he leaned his lips over and kiss the skin around my collarbone. Which instinctively had me shivering at the contact. My eyes close and my entire body succumbs to the chills his presence sent down my spine.

"You're shaking." He gently whispered in the nook of my neck as my breathing sped up at the subtle tracing of his fingers around my stomach beneath my dress. "Why are you shaking, Cali?"

Seriously?

"You're very close."

"Is it a good thing?"

Swallowing down to wet my dry throat, I nod at his question and I feel him smile while he brushes the tip of his nose against my cheek. He continues to stroke my stomach with his fingers tenderly and says nothing more. I wonder what he thinks about me for blatantly laying out my feelings for him while I am knowledgeable he has a fiance.

He has a fiance...

"What about you?" I questioned suddenly when it processed in my head he might not feel the same way about me.

He breathed, and relax his head on my shoulder. My heart might explode from joy at having him in this proximity or from anxiety that I might never have this feeling after this day.

"What about me?" He consulted in the most repose tone.

"Is it a good thing that you're near?" I lilted.

He hummed without a word. It wasn't satisfying enough. I shrug out of the embrace. And he concernedly reached for my hand. I allowed him.

"Cali?" He sighed, his gaze sweeping over me.

Frowning, I assert when our eyes lock, "I don't want you to hum... Tell me?"

He is smiling when he releases my wrist and steps up, towering over me. His hands cupped my face while he looks at me from his chest. The feeling is soothing. I lean into his touch. 

"I enjoy beautiful views and being around beautiful places. It is why I used to come here."

What does it have to do with the question I asked?

"Myles I..." I started, but he cut me off with a finger over my lips and then he study the result of his impulsiveness. His eyes were as hooded as a thoughtful professor's. And his stare burns through me. I wonder if he is thinking of taking my lips with his, as I am right now.

"You are beautiful, Cali." He told me and I derisively mimicked. My eyes rolled, "You enjoy my company and enjoy having me humiliate myself over you."

Those entrancing emerald eyes hold my hurtful glare. He continues caressing my face sedately in his big palms. His voice was rich and calm when he agreed with me, "You're right, though. I like your company and I enjoy having you feel for me the same way I do for you." He sensuously said in his rich voice, and the air knocked out of my throat. "I enjoy watching you, being around you, breathing in your scent. So yes, I like you, Calista, even when I should not." In his last lines, a sense of guilt was clear in the tone, which we will deal with later, knowing he meant about his not-one-true-love fiance.

Hearing him admit those words, however, lit up my mood. I can feel fresh blood rippling to my cheeks. He is watching me with quiet affection. It was all I had ever dreamed of. It is a victory with fireworks in the sky.

I wish Chloe is living. I could've saved every detail of this moment for her, including Myles's ravishing scent in my senses and his sunlight-like smile that brightens up every gloom in my thoughts. Now I can only save the details for myself and write them down in our diary to feel closer to her even though she is not here to read them and to know her wish has finally come true.

While I purse my lips, controlling the cheerful smile striving to appear on my face, Myles's hands left my face and suddenly I feel an emptiness sink to my core.

He took some steps away from me and settle down on the bare ground.

"Brayden said you are going through a tough time." He began.

Brayden said a lot of things I didn't want him to say.

Cloud of dust suspended in the air when I awkwardly kick some small pebbles without meeting his eyes.

"Come sit with me." He urged, patting the space next to him.

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled, but he heard.

"Then let's not talk about it." He simply said. Slowly it dawn on me that Myles wasn't only handsome, he was agreeable. He barely said no to anything.

As my eyes met him, he pats the surface again. I enjoy his company. My body aches to be near him. I let go of all contemplation and settle down next to him.

After a moment's reflection, I rewarded him with one part of the story. "I lost my best friend earlier this year. She was my everything. But that's all I am sharing."

His expression was unreadable when I glance at him. He reaches over to his backpack and pulls back the zipper. Fetching a chocolate bar.

"Here." He holds out, and I collected cautiously while smiling confoundedly at the irrelevant gesture.

After I have the bar in my possession, he explains humorously then, "To top up the sighting."

I laugh and bring a small portion of chocolate to my lip simultaneously, but when my eyes dart to him, he is staring at me intently.

"What?" I blushed, and he beamed.

"I like watching beautiful views, remember?"

There was no way I can control the rosiness of my cheeks, so I downcast my head and hide behind my flowing hair but Myles meant his words when he said he enjoyed watching me, that in a sliver of time, his fingers came for the locks of my hair obstructing his view. He tucks them behind my ear and when my eyes travel up to him, he slowly releases his bottom lip between his teeth.

For the first time in my life, I am being appreciated and watched with glory, like I am made of jewels.

Growing up hadn't been very kind to me given we live in a world where hair is part of beauty, and having hazel or green eyes is like a confection, that attracts every sugar ant. In cases like this, people like Scarlett Maverick are the sweets, while some just let themselves be the sugar ants and their whole life they circulate those sweets.

Say you don't try so hard on your appearance and way of life; there's likely a seventy-five percent of chance that your TikTok and reels comment box will be filled with negative remarks because the first thing people noticed when your video pops up on their phone screen is how expensive your clothes are. How nice your hair is styled. How clean are your teeth? How much your muscles can flex and how luxurious your home is.

I am not saying the lucky ones with all of those treasure doesn't get judged, because I've seen some bad days of Scarlett Maverick before my very eyes, but there's likely seventy percent of positive opinions in their comments box.

The thing is, I've always wanted to think positive, even in my circumstance but when you are seventeen and stuck in a mental loop, having a destructive wardrobe with pairs of baggy clothes because of a lack of confidence to appear in the hallways dressed nicely and clean, then it will be so damn hard to see any positivity.

Yet with Chloe, it was the opposite of that. She made me see every good side of life and appreciated every second, even when we were the subject of ridicule in the lunchroom or at community events when those kids had to be present.

Having Myles Cameron like me is the first good thing that ever happened to me. He called me beautiful when all I know is I am too fat and ugly. He watches me with admiration and smiles like I am providing him with contentment when all I was familiar with is contempt and mocking at any contact I made with others except for my family.

Surely, Myles is my abode.

~

We had sat there for a long time watching the distance, or at least I was watching it because I was hypersensitive to Myles's gaze on me. He didn't break the contact even when he gulps down an entire bottle of water. When I asked him why he consume so much water, he warned me to get prepared for humiliation anytime he takes me out to a restaurant because he orders at least four courses of food and finishes everything at once, for his money doesn't go wasted and his body deserves nutrients to endure.

Despite all that he had said, though, what I picked among his precautionary statement was the fact that he just promised me another date.

When a curl fell over to my face, I hook it behind my ear and asked him about his childhood. He then clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and the corners of his eyes crinkled.

"I am also a very close-up person. My secrets stay with me." He had said then until we agree to take turns answering each other's questions while sharing more chocolate bars.

Fiddling with my fingernails, I start with a curious one. "First girlfriend?"

He draws a breath and scratches his jaw before he answers while staring into the distance now. "A skater, I guess. She was fifteen, I was fourteen, and she dumped me because I was constantly nagging about the bigger boys in the park."

"You agreed you nag?" I giggled, and he laughed along.

"I was so feminine back then." He confessed.

It was impossible to get that picture of him in my head when all I can see right now were muscles and protruding chest and a sharp jawline. So I just laughed and asked him her name.

Then he said, "Chloe. Chloe Hayden."

Instantly, I thought of how my Chloe would've reacted to having the same name as Myles Cameron's first love. She could've been so excited. I shelve the name on my head to write it down in our diary when I get back home.

Chloe Heyden.

I hear him ask, "What about you?" I look up and saw curiosity in his eyes.

"First love?"

"Uhm umm." He attentively chews the piece of chocolate he shoved into his mouth. I wonder how he would taste if he leans over and kisses me right now since I do not have an answer for him to his hanging question.

When I remain quiet and bemused, his face went blank, and he abruptly says in a silvery voice, "No... Umm Uhm. There is no way I will believe you dated no one."

He has no idea.

Uncomfortable, I rearranged myself in my spot and then do it again and again until he brings a hand over mine and offers a faint reassuring smile that had me took soft calming breaths.

Without looking at him, I confessed, "Back home, I was more like invisible."

Myles's face twisted almost instantly.

"You? Invisible? Or more like all residents of your hometown are blind?" He remonstrantly scoffed, not buying the bitter truth about me.

When his hand leaves mine vacant, he runs them through his hair, having some strands falling over to his forehead. He had to push them back. It was attractive to a lavish extent.

I guess I also enjoy the beautiful views.

Laughing small at his obstinacy to believe I was the less prominent person back home, I fold my legs up to my chest and drop my eyes to the sandy bottom. "The boys are jerks, anyway."

"Huge jerks." He urgently agreed.

He gave me joy in every way. I didn't find the journey exhausting hiking back to the vehicle. We mostly did some races, laughed most of the time, and held hands, walking side by side while the sunset.

In his car, where he left his phone, he informs me of Brayden's dinner invitation. He said the food is from my favorite restaurant in Venice.

"Just the three of us?" I asked, and he repeated, sounding earnest, "Just the three of us."

For the ride back, all I imagined is a world where I have both men in my life without having turmoil.

Brayden and I had an agreement back when he was in high school and we agreed to fall in love with each other's friends was gross and prohibited, but I breached that commitment behind his back when all he had done is being good to me.