I don't get to stick around after the match because I have work. I'm happily surprised when I finish to find Jordan leaning on the wall outside.

We reach for each other and kiss immediately.

"See you later." Nate grumbles, walking off.

"You okay?" Jordan asks, ignoring him.

The closer I get to Jordan and Nate, the more the animosity between them grows. I don't really get why. So what if Jordan was a mess after he lost family, he's not such a mess anymore.

"I'm starving." I say, as we walk back to halls together.

"There's pasta in the fridge." He says. "You can have that."

We don't talk for the rest of the walk and the kitchen is empty when we get back. I rummage through and take out the Tupperware filled with pasta, getting a fork and sitting at the table.

Jordan watches me the whole time, an odd expression on his face.

"I've not long finished at the gym," he says, his voice is a bit tight. "You okay if I go and shower?"

"No, go for it." I say, slurping up a bit of pasta. I point my fork at the box it's in. "I'll eat this."

He nods and leaves. I hear the water start and then the shower door open and close. It's very weird to know he's less than six feet away from me and naked.

I ignore it, pull out my book and eat my pasta. Then I make a cup of tea, root for biscuits and try very, very hard not to let my mind run rampant about Naked Jordan.

He's gone for ages.

Long enough that I keep imagining how he would react if I joined him in the shower. Would he welcome it?

I put the dirty dishes into the sink and start to wash them. All I can think about is kissing him. How soft his lips are. How nice it would be to do more.

I'm so sick of this weird, horrible limbo we're in. I hate all this uncertainty. I never seem to know where I stand, how to act; what we are. Surely it shouldn't be this hard?

A shiver runs through me as I hear him enter the kitchen, but I don't turn to face him. He walks up to me, and whilst I clean a fork he wraps his strong arms around my stomach, resting his chin on my shoulder. I can feel he's just in a towel. It would take very little movement to render him completely naked.

Stop it.

He's said nothing so far, just stood there holding me.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says, his voice is thick. Like he's nervous.

Then he kisses my neck. It's deep. It lingers. I half close my eyes and drop the tupperware into the sink.

"Jordan?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything, he keeps kissing my neck and I feel like a God. Holy, somehow.

Then he turns me and we look at each other, he's asking for permission but he doesn't really need to ask. He knows the answer. No words pass between us, no words need to.

He leans down and kisses me. I feel it filter down to my toes. I feel myself take in a breath. I can taste the mint on his tongue, feel the strength in his arms as he winds them around me.

His tongue runs along mine and it's like my body knows how to react to him without really thinking about it. I have never felt like this before, hot and cold at the same time.

"Come to bed," he says, pulling back and giving me a small kiss on my lips.

I nod and follow him out, he takes my hand and leads me to my room. I don't question what's going to happen. I'm a virgin and I know he's not. But I'm not scared to have sex with him. I know he's the right person. I know it was meant to be.

Once in my room we reach for each other, undressing one another between kisses. It's not slow. It's rushed, clumsy and eager. I sort of giggle as we strip an item of clothing off each other. Once we're naked we clamber on the bed. He immediately reaches for me.

Everything is intense and tantalising.

I lie on my back as he climbs on top, littering my entire body with kisses. Then his hand touches me down below.

"You're so wet." He moans.

"For you," I crow.

Then he's in me. I cry out at the feeling of it and he says, "Don't do that. I won't last".

There's no performance to be had. We're not acting a part. We're just ourselves, two people who complete each other.

I know it's as intense for him as it is for me.

Plato used to believe that we were once two people joined by the back and we thought we were beautiful and better than the Gods. Annoyed by this, Zeus cut us in half; and that's why we spend our whole lives feeling alone, searching to become whole again.

That's exactly what being around Jordan is like. Like I'm not alone anymore; I feel whole. I've never felt so close to another person in all my life.

I come easily with him.

Afterwards, I shower and then climb back into bed, still a little damp from the shower. He starts kissing me immediately. I lay on my back, wrap my legs around his waist and he lies on top of me.

That electricity builds between us, but this is more intense than ever before.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Autumn." He says softly, then nibbles on my earlobe.

"You have no idea what you do to me." I breathily reply.

He brings a hand to my neck, cupping it, he trails his thumb along my lips. "Your lips . . . the things I've imagined you doing with them..."

I have never felt the want for dirty talk, but Jordan saying these things make my stomach burn.

I would do anything he asked of me.

"Do you like this?" He's trailing kisses along my neck, his voice is so raspy. I can't believe it's me doing that to him. 

He lifts his head to looks into my eyes. He's pupils are completely dilated and his face is so tender, it makes my heart feel as though it's going to bubble over. All the emotions I've been trying to keep on top of are desperate to explode from me.

"Yes." I say, practically a whimper.

"Are you mine, Autumn?"

His lips brush along my collar bone, making me tremble. He continues a line of kisses down my chest, my stomach, to the top of my pubic hair.

"Yes."

"Good," he trails back up, before letting his lips crash down on mine.

"Jordan," I moan between kisses.

I squeeze my legs tighter, causing him to tightly grab me. I honestly think I might explode just from him kissing me.

"That's it, moan my name. Tell me you want me. Do you want me?"

I nod.

"I need you to say it, Autumn." He kisses me harder. I nod again. "Say it."

"Jordan," I breathe. "I want you. So badly-"

He cuts me off with a kiss so deep it rocks through me. He trails his hand along my body until he's touching me down below. He sucks in a breath as he feels me. "You are so wet."

"It's you." I say. I feel a gentle tug and shock runs through me. "Oh my God."

"That's right," he says, as he does it again. My back arches and I moan loudly. "I want you to come."

"No," I say, "I want to come with you in me."

That does something to him and before I know it, he's thrusting himself inside of me.

We rock together, back and forth, building and building until we both climax at the same time, calling each others names. Then he collapses on top of me, and we lie there, waiting for our breathing to return to normal.

Never has my body felt so alive and so relaxed.

I feel peaceful I'm ready for sleep. Jordan curls himself around me like he always does, but this time we're naked.

"It was worth the wait," He says.

"Mm."

I feel like he wants to talk more; to open up. I can feel him fidgeting next to me. But I'm too tired to ask, my body to relaxed to move. I wouldn't be able to respond to whatever it is troubling him. But I can feel he wants to talk.

That energy exchange with us, the thing that binds us, it's there, pulsating. It's like it's own life form. I want to tell him so. But I'm too sated, too tired.

"I love you, Autumn."

I don't really know what he means. I don't ask either.

I fall asleep.