❝His touch contrasted the cold floor pricking the soles of her feet.❞

— ❁ —

        ALL MORNING, Christmas songs blasted through the café's speakers. Laurie thought of drowning out the festivity but she didn't. Marami kasi ang customers, gawa ng Christmas discount nilang 10 to 15 percent.

        Nasa gitna siya ng paghikab nang kumagingking ang door chimes.

        Upon meeting Lee's eyes, she felt hers light up. He seemed to be happy to see her, too, underneath the face mask he wore. Saglit na nilibot ni Laurie ng tingin ang café. Mayamaya, tumuro siya sa mesang katabi ng bintana. He responded with a thumbs up and walked towards the table.

        Before meeting him, she approached Malie and Cheska. Cheska manned the register while Malie prepared the drinks.

        "Mal, naka-plate na 'yong dalawang order ng tortellini. One goes with the signature blend and the other one—" Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. "—kasama yata no'ng carbonara and strawberry chocolate cake."

        "Miss Laurie, may isa pa pong order ng tortellini. Uh, 'yong may kasama pong dark mocha," nag-aalangang paalala ni Cheska.

        Laurie clamped her hair, then she grabbed a clean plate. Nagmamadali niya iyong nilagyan ng pasta at garlic butter sauce. Sighing, she placed the dish on the counter. "Cheska, you can call me 'Ate'. Ilang beses na rin kitang sinabihan na i-drop 'yong 'po', 'di ba?"

        "Ay, sorry po."

        Mahina siyang natawa. Nilingon niya si Malie pagkatapos. "I'm getting two slices of strawberry chocolate, okay?"

        Malie pulled the lever of the espresso machine. "Two slices?" Bitbit ang dalawang baso ng kape, nilibot nito ng tingin ang café. She smiled knowingly as her eyes landed by the window. "Akala ko, busy si Lee? May ni-retweet siyang poster ng gig for later, e."

        "Yep, kaya nga 'di siya makakapunta sa dinner mamaya."

        "A, so kaya mag-e-exchange gift na kayo ngayon?" tanong nito habang sumasandok ng tapioca pearls.

        Smiling, Laurie approached her best friend. Inayos niya ang pagkakatali ng apron sa baywang nito. "It's Christmas Eve and I'm not sure if we can talk over the phone later. Madaling-araw kasi set niya."

        "Hmm, okay. May tira pa naman atang five slices," nakanguso nitong sabi. "What about drinks? Anong gusto niyo?"

        Her forehead furrowed at the question. "Why are you suddenly treating me like a customer? I can manage, Mal."

        Laurie glanced in Lee's direction before pouring a glass of iced tea. Muli siyang sumenyas kina Malie at Cheska. With the cake slices and iced tea, she walked toward him. Walang-imik niya ritong iniwan ang mga bitbit. Mukhang may kapalitan kasi ito ng text message.

        Before he noticed her, she returned to the coffee bar. Kumuha siya ng mga tinidor. Isinabay na rin niya ang thermos niyang wala pa sa kalahati ang lamang kape.

        "Sorry, it's a bit busy," Laurie told Lee before sitting down. Tinulak niya rito ang isang cake slice. "Sabi ni Charlotte, pakainin kita kasi baka hindi ka pa nagbi-breakfast. What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

        Lee placed his chin on his hand, deliberately covering his face, before removing his mask. "Ang cute mo kanina, e."

        "Kanina lang?" she mumbled before sipping her coffee.

        He shook his head, smiling. "Dito rin," pabulong nitong sabi bago pitikin ang dulo ng red cat ears sa suot niyang headband. "Pinilit ka ni Malie, 'no?"

        Napabuntonghininga siya. She forgot about the headband but Lee guessed right. Totoong pinilit siya ni Malie. "Christmas gift ko na raw sa kanya kaya bawal akong tumanggi."

        "Aw," Lee said, pouting. "Kawawa ka naman." Pagkatapos ay maingat nitong pinatong ang kamay sa tuktok ng ulo niya.

        Laurie grimaced. "Since when are you this sarcastic?"

        "Hindi 'yon sarcastic. Naaawa talaga ako sa 'yo, promise." He even jokingly raised his hand. "Bagay naman sa 'yo. Ang cute nga, e."

        After that, he snapped a photo. Pinabayaan ni Laurie ang sunod-sunod nitong pagpindot pero hindi siya ngumiti. In some shots, she was just drinking her Americano and eating cake. Lee stopped taking pictures when she covered the lens with her hand.

        "May I see?" she asked quietly.

        Pinaningkitan siya nito ng mata. "Idi-delete mo, e."

        "No, I won't. Titingnan ko lang."

        "Ayoko nga," parang bata nitong ungot. "Christmas gift mo na sa 'kin 'to, please?"

        "What?" Laurie asked, confused. "You want pictures of me wearing cat ears as your Christmas gift?"

        Lee shrugged before giving her his phone. Smiling triumphantly, Laurie scrolled through the photos. Medyo malabo ang huling kuha nito. It was still cute, though. Kita pa rin kasi iyong tuktok ng cat ears kahit medyo naharang niya ang lens.

        "Anyway, don't you want to eat first?" She returned his phone. "Charlotte said you don't like eating in the van."

        "Hindi naman sa ayaw. Makalat lang, e, pare-pareho kaming tamad magpa-carwash. Kawawa naman si Junnie."

        "By the way—"

        Laurie was cut off by Malie. Isang mangkok ng kanin at adobong manok ang inilapag nito sa mesa.

        "Lauwie, cute kayo pero remind ko lang na hindi kayo mabubuhay sa gan'yan. May gig ka later, 'di ba, Lee?" Tumango si Lee. "Go on, kain na." Maliit itong ngumiti at saka, bumalik sa coffee bar.

        "She's not wrong, you know?" Laurie smiled. "You should eat."

        Lee scooped some rice. Gamit naman ang tinidor, tumusok ito ng kapirasong manok. Tahimik itong pinanuod ni Laurie habang sumisimsim sa thermos.

        He took another spoonful of rice. Nilagyan nito iyon ng kapirasong manok at saka, inangat. "Lau, o."

        "I jogged this morning. I don't want to regain the carbohydrates I just burned."

        "Isang kutsara lang," pilit nito sa kanya.

        "Fine," she grunted before opening her mouth.

        While she munched the food, Lee started shredding the chicken with the fork. Akmang susubuan siya nito ulit nang harangin niya ang mga labi. Napabuntonghininga na lang si Lee.

        Ito na lang ang kumain ng sinandok na kanin at ulam. "Ang kulit mo," he mumbled.

        "Ako pa? Sabi mo kaya, isang kutsara lang," she retorted. "Hang on. Dito ka lang. I'll be back."

        Before Lee could react, Laurie already made her way to the small stockroom beside the coffee bar. She returned with a wrapped box. Halos wala naman siyang ginastos sa regalong iyon. Ilang taon din niyang itinago ang box sa pag-aakalang hindi na iyon makararating kay Lee.

        Still, she kept it under her bed for years.

        "'Di mo naman sinabi sa 'kin na ngayon pala tayo mag-e-exchange gift," buntonghiningang sabi ni Lee. "Sorry, 'ha? Hindi ko pa kasi naaasikaso 'yong regalo ko sa 'yo. Promise, may regalo talaga ak—"

        "Lee," pigil ni Laurie sa dire-diretso nitong paliwanag. "It's not obligatory, okay? Gusto ko lang talagang ibigay sa 'yo. I just didn't know when I would have the chance to give it so now that I do, I'm grabbing it."

        "Pero Lau. . ."

        She chuckled. "Look, okay nga lang na wala kang regalo. I just have one small request."

        Natigilan ito sa pagnguya. "Ano 'yon?"

        "Please don't open this before your set." She placed her hand on top of the box. "The last thing I want is affecting your performance. Will you promise me you won't open this before your set?"

        Lee stared. Huminga rin ito nang malalim. "Okay, okay. Promise, bubuksan ko pagkatapos na ng set ko."

        Laurie smiled meekly at his answer, then tapped on the space beside the rice bowl. "Okay, now eat. Lagot ako kay Charlotte kapag matamlay ka mamaya. I told her I'll make sure you eat before you leave."

        Bumulanghit ito ng tawa. "Hindi naman ako bata para ibilin kung kani-kanino."

        Habang abala si Lee sa pagkain, isinuot niya rito iyong headband. Her eyes lit up as she combed his hair with her fingers, making sure she placed the headband properly.

        "Alam kong cute ako pero Lau, kumakain ako," he mumbled.

        "And I was drinking coffee earlier. Nagpaawat ka ba?"

        Lee wrinkled his nose in response – to which Laurie laughed.

        Before lunch, Lee bid goodbye. Bumili pa ito ng ilang drinks para kina Sandro at Junnie bago umalis. By 5:30 PM, Laurie and Malie closed the café. Theo waited for them. Parang security guard pa nitong hinarangan ang pinto habang nagkukuwenta sila ni Malie.

        Laurie thought he felt guilty for partly spilling her secret to Lee so she just let him. Isa pa, sa New York daw kasi magpa-Pasko ang pamilya nito. Theo wasn't invited as it was a spur of the moment.

        Mabilisan nilang nilinis ang unit niya para sa Christmas dinner.

        For dinner, Laurie chopped the carrots and cabbage into thin strips. Siya na rin ang nagtimpla ng sauce para sa tortellini. Pinabayaan naman siya ni Malie. While they cooked, Theo talked on the phone.

        "Aren't carrots supposed to be shaped like flowers?" nakapangalumbaba nitong tanong nang matapos sa pakikipag-usap sa mga kliyente.

        Naningkit ang mga mata ni Laurie. "I don't know. I'm just following Mal's orders."

        "Hala, ano 'yan?" Nalukot ang noo ni Malie kay Theo. Itinaas pa nito ang hawak na sandok. Upon realizing that nobody understood what she was referring to, Malie approached Theo. "Bawal 'yan."

        "What?" he asked innocently.

        Malie grabbed his wrist, much to his confusion. "Bawal nakapangalumbaba sa mesa. Malas 'yan."

        "Lee mentioned that to me once, pero ang alam ko, kapag kumakain lang 'yon bawal," paliwanag ni Laurie.

        Tiningnan ni Theo ang nakalatag na gulay, pinggan, at chopping board. He glanced at Malie afterward. "But we're not eating."

        Malie just sighed exasperatedly. Binalikan na lang nito ang pinakukuluang karne sa kaserola.

        Walang imik itong sinundan ni Laurie. "What's with you? Why are you pissed at Theo?"

        Malie pouted. "'Wag kang magagalit, a?"

        "It depends but go ahead. Baka mamaya, hindi naman pala kagalit-galit 'yang sasabihin mo."

        "I thought it was going to be just the two of us," Malie whispered, glancing in Theo's direction.

        "Do you want me to send him away?" suhestiyon niya.

        Saglit na natahimik si Malie. Natawa siya roon. Para kasing sineryoso nito ang suggestion niya. Before the former could respond, Laurie approached Theo.

        She lightly tapped his shoulder. "Can I ask for a favor?"

        "Sure?" nag-aalangan nitong sagot.

        "Could you buy two bottles of red wine? Nakalimutan kong next year pa 'ko mapapadalhan ni Steffie."

        Theo scrunched his nose. "Okay."

        "Thanks, Theo," she said, smiling.

        Once he was out of earshot, Laurie pulled Malie away from the kitchen. Iginiya niya ito papunta sa dining table. "Okay, what is it? What's wrong?"

        "Ay, ha-ha. Never mind." Malie waved dismissively. "Forget about it."

        "You're the one who encouraged me to be more vocal," Laurie reminded her. Napanguso na lang ito. "May problema ka ba? Is this about your family?"

        "Magmumukha akong selfish kapag sinabi ko."

        "I don't care. I'll still like you."

        Maliit itong napangiti. "Okay, uhm—" Inabot niya ang mga kamay nito. "—I'm happy for you and Lee, pero kasi. . . natatakot akong mag-fade sa buhay mo? Pero gets ko namang na-miss niyo ni Lee 'yong isa't isa, so I won't hold that against you. Please don't be guilty about that. Gets ko naman kung next year, kayo na magkasamang mag-celebrate."

        Laurie bit her lip. "Malie."

        "I'm sorry, pero ayon 'yong dahilan kung ba't nainis ako nang very light na nandito si Theo." Sinipit nito sa tainga ang ilang hibla ng kulot na buhok. "Please don't feel guilty, he-he. Wala ka namang ginawang mali para mag-isip ako nang ganito."

        Muli siyang napalabi. Nanatili namang nakayuko si Malie, mukhang nahihiya sa pag-angkin ng kinatatakutan.

        Laurie knew of Malie's high school friends. They were pretty shitty friends according to Malie. Ayos naman daw noong una. Ang pinakaproblema lang ay lima sila sa grupo. Naturally, pairs emerged, leaving Malie the odd one out. A huge factor was her friends' boyfriends.

        They would often leave Malie out, eventually causing their falling out.

        Laurie took another second to silently articulate her thoughts. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I can't stop you from worrying but I promise I'm nothing like your friends."

        Malie slowly nodded. "Alam ko naman 'yon. You're so much prettier and nicer."

        "Prettier? Sure, I'll take that but nicer?" Mahina siyang natawa. "Sa 'yo lang naman ako mabait."

        Pinaningkitan siya nito ng mata. "Hindi kaya! Mabait ka, hindi lang halata kasi lagi kang naka-RBF."

        "RBF?"

        "Resting bitch face," Malie said before scratching Laurie's chin.

        "Wait, I actually have something for you." Pinakawalan niya ang mga kamay ni Malie at saka siya tumayo. "I know we agreed not to exchange gifts this year but I don't think this counts."

        "Hala, Lauwie, alam mo namang kakabayad ko lang sa apartment ko, 'di ba? Saka sabi ko naman, oki na 'yong cat ears kanina."

        Laurie didn't pay attention to any of that. Dire-diretso siyang pumasok sa kuwarto. Isang paper bag ang kinuha niya roon.

        "Here." Nag-aalangan nitong binuksan ang bag na inabot niya. Inside was a film camera. "I bought it for your birthday, kaso nakalimutan kong bumili ng film kaya hindi ko muna binigay."

        Namilog pang lalo ang bilugang mga mata ni Malie habang sinisipat ang camera. "Mahal 'tong ganito, 'di ba?"

        "It's secondhand so it's cheaper."

        "Weh?"

        Natawa siya nang mahina. "Fine. Yes, medyo mahal pero March ko pa binili 'yan. You have no choice but to accept it. I don't have the receipt anymore."

        "Bina-blackmail mo ba ako?"

        Malawak na ngiti ang iginanti ni Laurie. "If I say yes, will you accept it?"

        "Just how can I refuse this? Thank you talaga pero 'di mo naman ako kailangang regaluhan."

        "Instead of seeing it as a gift, consider it an assurance."

        "Assurance?"

        "Consider it as an assurance that I would never let you fade into the background of my life; that I would never let Lee or anyone come between our traditions."

        "Ha? E, 'di ba, may mga tradisyon kayo ni Lee na para sa inyo lang?"

        "Yes, but we can just make another one with you and probably Theo."

        Nangunot ang noo ni Malie pagbanggit niya kay Theo. "Lauwie, tinutulak mo ba 'ko kay Theo? Kaya ba siya invited last minute?"

        Laurie chuckled. "Nag-New York family niya nang hindi niya alam. We just found out this morning so I offered."

        Muli itong ngumiti nang malawak. "Sabi sa 'yo, e. Mabait ka nga." Ikinumpas nito ang kamay. "Wait, so about these 'new' traditions—" Malie made air quotes with her fingers. "—ga'no ka kasigurado na papayag si Lee?"

        "He has to agree." Pinisil ni Laurie ang kamay nito. "I would leave him for you in a heartbeat."

        "Flattered ako pero please, 'wag. I'm really happy for you both." Smiling warmly, Malie squeezed her hand back. "Merry Christmas, Lauwie."

        Laurie and Malie met during the strangest yet similar time in their lives. Back then, they were grieving for the ones they left and those who left them. It was a strange time but even then, she was certain that Malie was going to be an important part of her life.

        Noon pa man, sigurado na si Laurie na marami siyang matututuhan mula rito.

        Magaan niyang nginitian si Malie. "Merry Christmas, Mal."

—

        "I'M PROUD of you, okay? Goodluck."

        For Lee, those words were more than enough. Matapos marinig ang kalmado at may pagkamatinis na boses ni Laurie, gumaan din ang kabigatan ng mga mata niya. Although he wanted Laurie to be there, they wouldn't have time to talk anyway. Bukod sa tuloy-tuloy ang set niya ay may umuugong na kasing balita na may girlfriend siya. Wala naman iyong kaso sa agency.

        They just haven't discussed how much of their relationship they would want to be public.

        It was only 10 minutes before his set. Sa halip na umidlip, tinawagan niya si Theo. When he didn't hear anything, he glanced at the screen. "Lasing ka na ba? Sabi ko naman sa 'yo, 'wag kang uminom. Pa'no tuloy makakauwi 'yang dalawa?"

        "Can you calm down?" mahinahong tanong ni Theo sa kabilang linya. "Laurie didn't want me to drink. Ako raw maghahatid kay Malie."

        "Ha? E, sinong maghahatid sa kanya? Theo, please 'wag mong papayagan mag-drive 'yan."

        "Are you drunk?"

        "Tipsy lang," he answered. "Pero ano? Sinong maghahatid kay Lau?" Nakarinig siya ng kaluskos. "Saan ba kayo?"

        "We're at Laurie's so I don't think she has plans of holding back."

        He clicked his tongue. "P'wede bang last na 'yong isang bote?"

        "That was my plan. Laurie's starting to doze off and Malie — oh, God. She kept pulling me to dance with her on the counter. When I said no, she cried and Laurie got pissed."

        "So, bumigay ka? Napasayaw ka, 'no?" nangingiti niyang tanong.

        "She wouldn't stop crying so yes. We danced the Macarena."

        Lee burst out laughing. Ilang minuto rin niyang hindi maalis sa isip si Malie na nanunubig ang mga mata at si Theo na maasim ang mukha habang sumasayaw. Nang may kumatok sa bintana ng van, napatunghay siya. It was Charlotte, raising three fingers. She quickly left when he nodded.

        "Theo, pakiingatan na lang si Lau, 'ha?"

        "Don't worry. I'll make sure she's sober before I drive Malie home."

        "Okay, thank you!" Natatawa niyang hinalikan ang screen ng phone. He even made kissing noises. "Bye, merry Christmas. Bukas na lang 'yong kiss sa personal."

        "Okay, you are tipsy. Merry Christmas. Bye."

        Thankfully, his friendship with Theo wasn't strained because of what happened weeks ago. Noong nagkita sila sa café, ilang ulit itong humingi ng pasensya. Ipinaliwanag din nitong hindi nito alam na wala siyang ideya tungkol sa Spain. Agad naman niya itong pinakalma.

        Lee apologized for putting Theo in the middle, too, much to the latter's surprise.

        He wished everyone a happy holiday after his last song. Back inside the van, he was about to give in to sleep when his phone rang. Sinilip niya ang caller ID.

        "'La! Bakit 'di niyo po sinasagot kanina?"

        "Ay, alam mo naman ang Pasko dito, 'nak," humahagikhik nitong sabi. "Nagakaon ka ba nang tama? Sabi ko man sa imu, diri p'wede an puro puyat!"

        "Kumain naman po ako, 'La. Ay, ano po palang handa d'yan?"

        "Naghimu kami san leche flan kag bihon. Amu lang ang ginhimu ko kay andamu san ginhatag ng kapitbahay. Nano man ang pagkain d'yan?"

        "Nag-sisig po ako kanina tapos pinabaunan ako ni Lau ng merienda'ng cake, saka kape."

        "Sinong Lau? Si Laurie na naman?"

        "Opo, 'La," nangingiti niyang sagot. "Ano pong 'na naman'? Si Laurie naman po lagi, ha-ha. Ipapakausap ko nga po siya sana sa inyo kanina kaso 'di naman po kayo sumasagot. Nag-almusal po kami kanina sa café, e."

        "Sabihin mo kamo, gusto ko personal. Dalhin mo na lang siya dito next year, 'ha, Simeon? Sa birthday mo, 'ha?"

        "Alam niyo naman pong 'di na 'ko basta-basta p'wedeng bumiyahe. Si Laurie din po, busy 'yon sobra sa café. Bihira na ngang umuwi 'yon, e."

        "E, bakasyon naman 'yong birthday mo, 'di ba? Ako magpapaalam ke Charlotte."

        "'La, wala na pong baka-bakasyon 'pag working na," tumatawa niyang sabi. "Padalhan ko na lang po kayo ng chocolate, saka album ko kapag okay na."

        "Ikaw nga ang gusto kong makita sa birthday mo. Aan'hin ko naman 'yong tsokolate kung wara an may bertdey?"

        "Hala, sige po. Susubukan ko pong magpaalam agad para maayos 'yong schedule ko." Inipit niya ang phone para abutin ang backpack sa likod ng van. "Pero 'La, depende pa 'yon, 'ha?"

        "Ako an magpaalam para sa imu," pangungulit ni Lola Pasing.

        Napapalatak siya. "Ako na pong bahala do'n. S'yempre gusto ko rin po kayong makita." Nagmamadali niyang binuksan ang bag para kunin iyong cake slice. "Si Tito Jake nga po pala, nasa'n? Pakausap naman po. Babati lang ako."

        "Susko, an Tiyo mo? Adtu kina Ningning, nagakanam san bingo! Pinabantayan ko sa iya an card ko kay baka dayain. May ipapasabi ka ba sa iya?"

        Nilunok niya muna ang kinurot na kapirasong cake. "Wala naman po, babati lang sana ng 'merry Christmas'."

        "E, ako ba, hindi mo babattin?"

        Malawak siyang napangiti. "Merry Christmas po, 'La. Promise, susubukan kong umuwi next year kasama si Lau."

        "Sinabi mo 'yan, 'ha? Napanaginipan ko pa naman ang imu iloy! Kapag dili ka mag-uli didi, sinasabi ko sa 'yo—"

        "Alam ko na po sasabihin niyo," natatawa niyang putol sa balak nitong sabihin. "Ipapamulto niyo 'ko kina Mama?"

        Ilang segundo ng katahimikan ang isinagot ng Lola Pasing niya. Mayamaya, nakarinig siya ng masasayang tilian. Sinundan iyon ng mga kaluskos. "Anay gad, anak, kay nag-bingo daw ako sabi ni Tiyo mo. Anay gad."

        Muli niyang inabot ang backpack. Kinalkal niya ang ilalim niyon hanggang sa makapa niya iyong tumbler ng tubig na pabaon din ni Laurie. "Nand'yan ka pa ba, 'La? Ano bang prize this year?"

        "Erprayer daw sabi san imu Tiyuhin." Inalis niya sa tainga ang phone nang makarinig ulit siya ng tilian. "Susko, nakuha namun an erprayer!"

        Sumimsim siya ng tubig. "Wait lang, 'La. Kain lang po ako. Tatawag na lang po ako ulit bukas. Sagutin niyo, 'ha, 'La?"

        "Pagkatapos mo d'yan, mag-uli ka na kag magturog, 'ha? Merry Christmas~"

        "Opo, merry Christmas din po ulit. Congrats po sa air fryer~"

        After the call, Lee rummaged through the backpack for his earphones. Balak niyang manghiram na lang nang maalala niya ang regalo ni Laurie.

        Excited, he tore the giftwrapping paper. Sa loob ay may isa pang box ng necktie at mga nakatuping giftwrapping paper. Napabuga siya ng hangin pagkakita sa ilang luma at naninilaw nang cards.

        Laurie must have kept every wrapping paper and dedication card of every gift he gave back then. Nakagat na lang niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Kaya naman pala lagi itong maingat magbukas ng regalo. Lee thought he successfully fought the urge to break down until he saw the bottom of the box. Three white envelopes sat comfortably.

        Mga sulat ang laman niyon. Lahat ay handwritten.

        Despite his trembling fingers, he made sure to read every single one.

—

        BY ONE in the morning, Laurie was changing into her white cropped top when her phone vibrated. It was a selfie from Theo. With his thumb, he smiled meekly while pointing to Malie in the background. Tulog pa rin best friend niya, nakalaylay pa ang binti nito sa kama.

        That made Laurie chuckle wryly.

        After her nighttime rituals, she searched for the gig's livestream. Mabigat na ang mga mata niya nang sumalang si Lee. A few minutes later into his solemn rendition of Nick Drake's "Northern Sky", Laurie gave in and fell asleep.

        It wasn't until about an hour and a half that she woke up.

        Her phone was vibrating loudly. Pagsilip niya roon, nakaramdam siya ng kaba. Sunod-sunod kasi ang missed calls mula kay Lee. Because she was already up, she drank a glass of water. Kalalapag lang niya ng pitsel sa counter nang may kumatok.

        Slightly shuddering because of the cold floor, she tiptoed and peeked through the peephole.

        Her forehead crumpled. It was Lee, looking safe and unscathed. Not that she wanted him to be in an accident of some sort. Kinabahan lang talaga siya dahil nakita niya iyong nakapilang missed calls sa phone.

        Laurie opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

        Lee's eyes were puffy but his face looked refreshed; relieved for some reason. Strapped onto his back were his backpack and guitar bag. Isang mayabong na bouquet naman ng mga rosas ang hawak nito.

        Sunod-sunod ang ginawa nitong paglunok, parang nangangapa. "Gusto ko lang sabihing, uh, hi?" Itinaas at ipinakita nito sa kanya iyong bouquet. "Merry Christmas, Lau."

        Despite feeling confused, she pulled him into a hug and patted his back. "What's wrong?"

        Matapos pakawalan ang isa't isa, sumandal si Laurie sa gilid ng pintuan. She crossed her arms over her chest and observed Lee. Nakatatayo pa naman ito nang maayos. Amoy alak ang suot nitong shirt pero hindi naman matapang.

        "Hey," untag niya. Walang sinagot si Lee ni isa sa mga tanong niya. He just stood there, looking at her like he was seeing her for the first time. "Okay ka lang ba? How did you get here?"

        "Hiningi ko kay Theo exact address mo, tapos nagpahatid ako kay Junnie."

        "You still haven't said the reason why you're here, though."

        "Binasa ko 'yong mga sulat mo nang isang upuan."

        Umayos siya ng tayo. "And?"

        Instead of answering, Lee bowed down to hide his eyes from hers. Nang magsalubong muli ang mga mata nila ay lumambot ang mga ito sa kanya. Nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Lee has always been easy to read so this was different.

        Laurie was about to ask another question when she felt his hand on her wrist, urgently but carefully pulling her closer.

        Not a minute later, she felt his lips on hers.

        That kiss was definitely different – if not better – from before. Mas maayos iyon. Mas mariin. Mas gutom din pero nanatiling magaan sa pakiramdam. It almost felt like it was rehearsed and planned by everyone and everything to feel that way.

        Laurie began scrambling for a proper metaphor. Gusto niya kasing maalala at ulit-ulitin. Nang makaramdam ng inis, pumikit siya nang mariin.

        Underneath the frustration of not being able to articulate her feelings, she knew that being at a loss for words was a damn good thing. An electric jolt of anticipation spread from the tips of her toes to her temples. Pagkatapos, matalim siyang suminghap. Untiunting nanumbalik ang pakiramdam niya.

        All she could think about was the next time. The next kiss, however, didn't come. Mukhang wala nang balak pa si Lee na pakawalan siya.

        Laurie swallowed the lump of guilt that was slowly forming in her throat. Kaagad namang humupa iyon nang mapagtantong humihiwalay na si Lee. Saglit na pumuslit iyong takot.

        Sighing, she came to a decision. Pababa niyang hinila ang damit ni Lee. Napasinghap siya. Nasamyo niya ang magkakahalong amoy ng sigarilyo, alcohol, at iyong gamit nitong fabric conditioner. He reeked of vanilla and citrus, making her savor the feeling of his soft lips gently grazing on hers.

        Laurie slightly gasped when she felt something brush her right foot. Muli siyang napangiti. Nabitiwan pala ni Lee ang bouquet. Her amusement was cut short when his calloused hands snaked around the small of her back.

        "Lee," she murmured as he caressed the skin exposed by her cropped top riding up.

        His touch contrasted the cold floor pricking the soles of her feet. "Bakit?" Pinaulanan nito ng magagaang halik ang sulok ng leeg niya.

        Sa halip na lumayo, kumapit siyang lalo sa batok ni Lee. Sinalubong niya ang mga mata nitong nagtatanong. She, then, gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I just wanted to stop to say I love you."

        "I love you, too. Merry Christmas," he whispered, smiling softly, before pulling her into another kiss.

        For the whole day, Laurie was happy running around Cafuné. Buong araw din tuloy siyang tahimik na kinakain ng takot na baka bawian sila ng mundo. With her and Lee, the world just seemed to follow a very harsh reward system.

        Unang pagkakataon siguro na natuwa siyang mali ang expectations niya. She couldn't have been happier to be proven wrong.

        Laurie gripped the hem of Lee's shirt. Mahina niya itong iginiya papasok ng unit. For a moment, he let her go to close the door behind them. She found herself sinking deeper into the kiss and smiling against his lips.

        It was a merry Christmas indeed.#