❝This was probably what people mean when they say they disappear into a moment.❞

— ❁ —

        LEE'S KNEES never trembled like that before. Naghalohalo kasi ang lahat. Hindi siya makapaniwala. Kasabay niyon ay natutuwa rin siya na nalulungkot. He couldn't help but entertain a question slithering from the back of his mind to the surface.

        Hanggang kailan kaya 'to?

        Laurie was probably wondering the same. Napalabi si Lee habang nakatitig sa mukha ng katabi. Kalmado ito pero sigurado siyang walang preno ang utak nito. It was noticeable how she kept on blinking and pursing her lips. Sighing, Lee took a step back. Saglit niyang napakawalan ang kamay ni Laurie na nakakapit sa kanya, dahilan upang mapatunghay ito.

        "What?" she whispered, her brows knitted.

        "Parang kinakabahan ka, e." Ngumiti siya nang maluwang. Laurie didn't bother denying. Alam naman nitong kabisado niya ang ibig sabihin ng bawat kilos nito. However, instead of teasing her for being nervous, he gently placed his hand on the small of her back, comforting her.

        Laurie's shoulders tensed but immediately relaxed at his touch. "Thank you," buntonghininga nitong sabi.

        "Sorry, alam kong wala sa usapan 'to. P'wede ka pa namang mag-back out. Wala naman silang magagawa."

        Bumuga ito ng hangin. "Do you want me to back out?"

        "'Yong totoo?" Lee bit the inside of his cheek. "No," walang pag-aalinlangan niyang sagot.

        Laurie replied with a scoff and the tiniest relieved smile. Pareho silang napamaang nang pumitik ang direktor na si Shaira.

        "I want to see the awkwardness, okay? Ito kasi 'yong scene na may pagka-emotional. Following the storyline, you're supposed to be soulmates separated by life. Pinagtagpo kayo ulit after a few years and this. . . this is your first meeting in the café where you had your first date."

        Lee didn't know whether to feel amused or offended first. It was amusing how the story reflected their actual lives but was also offending. Para kasing lumalabas na ganoon kagasgas ang nangyayari sa kanila ni Laurie.

        Laurie and Lee walked to their marker. Tumayo sila sa gitna ng Cafuné. Nakatakip ang mga bintana. Tanging fairy lights at mga kandila ang nagsilbing ilaw. There was also some fake grass spread across the floor. The staff neatly arranged the tables and chairs, surrounding Laurie and Lee without blocking the camera. Baka raw kasi magmukhang wala sila sa café kung aalisin ang mga iyon.

        Pinatugtog na ang "Iyo". "Siguro nga nama'y hindi pagtatagpuing muli."

        Lee held out his hand. Inakala niyang minuto pa ang aabutin bago iyon tanggapin ni Laurie pero nagkamali siya. She placed her left hand on his right shoulder. He, then, held her waist carefully. They immediately caught the rhythm of the song.

        It was probably instinct. Or muscle memory. Gawain nila iyon noon pa, e.

        "Kung magtatapos lang din tulad ng dati, siguro nga'y walang saysay ang ating bawat away."

        "Gusto mo bang mag-usap tayo para 'di masyadong nakakailang?" Lee suggested.

        "Sure, why not?" mabilis nitong sagot. "Anong gusto mong pag-usapan?"

        "Ewan ko, sorry." He chuckled, slightly disappointed for not being able to follow through with his suggestion. "Hmm, ano na lang. . . anong thoughts mo dito sa kanta? Ito lang kasi 'yong 'di ko naparinig sa 'yo. Ha-ha."

        Muling napalabi si Laurie. "Uh, okay naman. It's good."

        Mahina siyang natawa. "Lau naman, o. Limang taon tayong 'di nakapag-usap nang ganito tapos 'it's good' lang?"

        "Stop fishing. You don't need me to know it's good," she said, chuckling. "We're literally filming your music video. Ano pa bang compliment kailangan mo?"

        Lee grinned. "'Yong sa 'yo."

        "Guys, can you move closer?" narinig nilang sabi ni Shaira. "Laurie, palagay na lang no'ng dalawa mong kamay sa batok ni Lee, then Lee. . . ikaw naman, sa waist ni Miss Laurie hawak mo."

        He glanced at Laurie. "Okay lang ba sa 'yo?"

        "Yep." Huminga ito nang malalim pagkatapos.

        Maingat na nilagay ni Lee ang kanang kamay ni Laurie sa kaliwa niyang balikat. After that, he placed both of his hands on her waist. "Ito, okay lang ba? Sabihin mo kung 'di na okay, 'ha?"

        Laurie put her hands on his nape. Tuluyang kumalma ang kaluluwa niya nang aksidenteng dumaplis ang mga daliri nito sa kuwintas niya. "Okay nga lang. I've calmed down. Ikaw naman tuloy kinakabahan ngayon."

        "Sino ako kung wala ka, aking kaluluwa?"

—

        THIS WAS probably what people mean when they say they disappear into a moment; when they melt into a person.

        Laurie's eyebrows knitted when he smiled softly. She fought the urge to tousle Lee's wavy hair. Walang bakas ng negatibong emosyon sa mukha nito. Hinigpitan niya ang pagkakakawit ng kamay sa batok ni Lee. He looked at peace. And happy to be waltzing with her.

        Laurie would probably sound like a narcissist if someone were to find out but she felt like crying. It was relieving to know and witness how he was happy because of her.

        "Ika'y babalik, hahalik patungo pa rin sa akin."

        Patapos na yata iyong kanta.

        "I hope you don't mind me asking but—" She bit her lip again. Lee's eyes twinkled in anticipation. "—do you still feel that way? 'Yong sa kanta?"

        There really was no point in pretending not to know. Sa puntong iyon, parang alam naman na ng lahat na siya iyong iniiyakan ni Lee sa viral nitong video noon. Na siya 'yong "ikaw" na tinutukoy sa "Iyo". Halata naman sa kinikilos nila. Lee didn't care much about people knowing. Even his manager didn't make it a big deal.

        "Sa totoo lang, hindi ko pa alam," nakangiting sagot ni Lee. "Pero balak ko namang alamin. Kaya nga ako nandito, e."

        Nalukot ang noo ni Laurie sa narinig. Napakarami kasi ng ibig sabihin niyon. Lee could mean he plans on knowing and leaving afterward. There was a huge possibility of him leaving after figuring out he doesn't feel the same anymore.

        The outro played.

        "Lau. . ."

        "Hmm?"

        "You're hugging me."

        Napamaang siya sa narinig. Bahagya ring nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Hindi niya kasi namalayang nahigpitan niya ang pagkakakawit ng kamay sa batok ni Lee. She didn't notice how and when she had placed her chin on his left shoulder.

        Bahagya siyang lumayo. Niluwagan din niya ang kapit sa batok nito. "Sorry."

        "O, bakit ka nagso-sorry? I wasn't complaining," he joked. "Sinabi ko lang naman na nakayakap ka sa 'kin."

        Laurie scoffed, avoiding his eyes in the process. "Still, I'm sorry. Tinanong muna dapat kita kung p'wede."

        Napasinghap siya nang si Lee naman ang yumapos sa kanya. Palapit siya nitong hinila. His hands rested on her waist comfortably. She forced herself to calm down. She shouldn't let her heart beat fast. Mararamdaman at maririnig kasi ni Lee.

        Laurie gulped as she felt him place his chin on her shoulder.

        "Sorry din, 'ha?" he whispered. "Ayan, patas na tayo pero kung nagi-guilty ka pa rin. . . e 'di, sabihin na lang natin na caught in the moment ka lang kanina."

        "And then, what? In the moment ka lang din ngayon, kahit na hindi ka pa rin bumibitaw?"

        "P'wede naman nating sabihin 'yon." Lee chuckled softly. Parang sumikip ang dibdib niya nang maramdaman ang pagtama ng hininga nito sa gilid ng leeg niya. Mayamaya, ibinalik nito iyong distansya nila kanina. "Patapos na pala. Gusto mo bang iikot kita?"

        "Sure," tipid na sagot ni Laurie.

        Smiling, Lee held her right hand. He guided and twirled her around.

        A few seconds after her hand landed on his nape, the song stopped. It finally ended. Doon lang bumalik sa paningin niya ang mga nakapalibot na camera at staff sa kanila. Doon lang niya napansin si Theo sa gilid na nanunuod habang hawak ang DSLR. Malie had her arms over her chest, grinning widely.

        "Okay, cut!"

        Tumigil sila sa pagsayaw ni Lee nang marinig ang sigaw ni Shaira. They didn't let go immediately, though. His hands stayed on her waist while hers stayed on his nape.

        Laurie cleared her throat. "I think we should. . ."

        "Alam ko," nakangiting sagot nito. "Pero saglit lang."

        "Lee. . ."

        "Saglit pa, Lau, please?"

        Laurie nodded. Nanatili sila sa ganoong posisyon ng ilan pang segundo. The staff began teasing them. "Iba na yata 'yan, 'ha?" kantiyaw ni Shaira. "Ang usapan, sayaw lang, walang inlaban."

       Pinamulahan siya ng mukha pero nawala iyong parang bula nang marinig niya ang tawa ng kaharap na si Lee. He smiled before finally letting her go. She, then, let go of his nape, too.

        "So, paano?" Lee asked.

        "What?" Pinalis niya palikod ang buhok na tumatama sa leeg. "Paano ang?"

        "Tatanggapin mo ba kung sasabihin kong hindi ko narinig na tapos na 'yong kanta kaya 'di pa rin ako bumitaw?"

        Laurie felt like crying again.

        Alam nitong hindi pa siya handang pag-usapan ang ginawang pagyakap kaya ito na mismo ang nagbigay ng idadahilan niya sa sarili niyang isip. Lee has always been considerate. He's one of the few people in the world who understood how her mind works way before she did.

        Lee always regarded her as the puzzle (between the two of them) but to her, it's the opposite.

        Marami kasi itong nagagawa na hindi niya kayang gayahin nang basta. Kahit kailan, hindi ito nahirapang sabihin ang nararamdaman. He cried whenever he wanted to. That was the puzzle she liked and envied about him. Gano'n ata talaga kapag lumaki sa isang pamilyang pinaglaanan ng oras ang relasyon. Iyong hindi lang basta umangkla sa dugo.

        "P'wede naman siguro 'yong gano'n, Lau." Maliit itong ngumiti. "At least, for now?"

        Para na ring sinabi ni Lee na hindi nito binubuksan iyong nangyari noon dahil alam nitong kailangan niya ng oras. Without her saying anything, he understood that she needed time and that he respected that. In his own way, Lee managed to tell her that he hasn't done his part in forgetting what once was theirs.

        And that now, it's her turn to respect that.

        Laurie heaved an exasperated sigh, mustering the courage to return his smile. Tumingin siya nang diretso sa mga mata nito. "I think I can work with that," pagsuko niya.

—

        IT'S BEEN a week since the shoot. Habang nakatitig sa poster ng gig sa Guiguinto, hindi pa rin nabubura sa isip ni Lee iyong ngiti ni Laurie. Kinakabahan tuloy siyang hindi siya kinakabahan. Bukod kasi sa kanila ni Sandro, bigatin ang mga makakasama nila sa Guiguinto. Malaki rin ang nakaabang na talent fee. It would also be his biggest audience yet.

        "Hi, sorry for being late," bungad sa kanya ni Theo. He placed his bag on the counter before sitting on one of the bar stools.

        "Okay lang," nakangiting sabi ni Lee. He and Theo have been meeting a lot lately. Takbuhan siya nito tuwing kailangan nito ng kasamang mag-jogging. "'Di pa pala ako nakakapunta sa studio mo, 'no? Next time, do'n kaya tayo magkita?"

        "You can drop by before I start redecorating." Inilabas nito ang laptop mula sa bag. "Before I show you the pictures, gusto kong malaman mo na 'di ko 'to ginagawa."

        Nalukot ang noo ni Lee. "Ha? 'Di mo ginagawa ang alin?"

        "I don't just give out copies of the pictures I take."

        "Willing to pay naman ako," nakatawang sagot niya.

        Ngumuso lang si Theo. "You can pay me by running with me this weekend." After that, he opened his laptop. Nang makita ang folder ng ipakikitang pictures ay pinaharap nito iyon kay Lee. "Ito 'yong mga kuha ko habang sumasayaw kayo. I took a few when you were jamming with the orchestra, too."

        Amazed, Lee gaped at the screen. Tuloy-tuloy ang pagpindot niya sa laptop. Apparently, Theo accidentally took a picture of him and Laurie while they stood in front of his painting. They were in the background. Mula sa anggulo, halatang iyong staff ang focus ni Theo. Nahagip lang sila ni Laurie sa likod.

        Maliit na napangiti si Lee. "Thanks. Ganda ng shots mo. Ayaw mo na talagang bumalik sa music photography?"

        Theo shook his head. "I like live music but I don't really like people."

        Natawa siya roon. "P'wede ba 'yon? Walang live music kung walang tao. Mas ginaganahan din kaming nagpe-perform kapag naririnig namin nang live 'yong audience namin."

        "I know that," wala sa sarili nitong sabi. "Ayoko lang na nag-iiba 'yong ugali ng mga tao 'pag nakainom sila. They become too noisy and inconsiderate of those around them."

        "A, gets," he mumbled, nodding. "In that case, thank you na dinayo mo pa 'ko dito."

        "Oh, it's not a big deal. Malie kicked me out of the café. Nag-general cleaning kasi sila para sa open mic bukas."

        "Open mic?"

        Theo blinked his round eyes before nodding.

        The next day, Lee went to Cafuné to see it for himself. Wala namang naka-schedule noong araw na iyon. Inayos niya ang pagkakasabit ng face mask sa tainga. He, then, held onto the strap of his guitar bag as he pulled the doors open.

        The door chimes twinkled.

        There were people inside but the café wasn't exactly packed. Ang karamihan pa roon ay customers. Nagpalinga-linga siya para hanapin si Laurie. Nang makita ito sa coffee bar, doon siya dumiretso. She had her back turned against him, kneading some dough.

        Lee patiently waited for her to see him. Nakakunot kasi ang noo nito, kada lilingunin ang katabing si Malie.

        "Uy, hala, 'di ka nagsasabi." Malie was the first to notice him. "Good afternoon and welcome to Cafuné!"

        "Available na ba 'yan?" tukoy niya sa hinahandang dough ni Laurie. Saglit itong lumingon pero agad ding bumalik sa ginagawa. "Pasta ba 'yan o pastry?"

        "Tortellini, 'yong pinatikim namin sa 'yo before," nakangiting sagot ni Malie. "Pero this time, sarili na naming pasta kaya mas fresh. Mga 20 minutes pa siguro 'yan. Willing to wait ka ba?"

        "Oo naman." Itinaas-baba niya ang mga kilay. "By the way, okay lang ba kung tumugtog ako?"

        Laurie faced him again. "Are you sure? Hindi ko alam kung magkano TF mo pero sure akong 'di namin afford 'yan at the moment."

        Grinning, Lee pointed at the LED light sign saying "open mic". "Open pa naman, 'di ba?"

        Malie clapped excitedly. "Tumatanggap ka ba ng request?"

        "Bakit naman hindi?" nakatawa niyang tanong. Inalis niya ang face mask. "Ikaw ba, Lau, may request ka?"

        "Yes, I request that you sing only three songs. Alam kong open mic, but please give a chance to others. Don't hog the mic," she mumbled, still kneading the dough.

        Mahina iyong ikinatawa ni Lee. Hinintay niya munang makapili si Malie bago niya hinubad ang baseball cap. After that, he stepped to the podium and tuned his acoustic guitar. The customers recognized him almost immediately. Hindi pa man siya nagsisimula, marami nang naglabas ng phone at nag-video.

        He started with Malie's request: I Axe's "Ako'y Sa Iyo, Ika'y Sa Akin". Sinundan niya iyon ng "Fly Me to the Moon" ni Frank Sinatra. For his last song, he intentionally played "Iyo". Malapit na kasi ang release ng music video. Charlotte instructed him to promote it on his social media accounts.

        "Ika'y babalik, hahalik patungo pa rin sa akin," he sang the last line, his eyes closed.

        Lee's smile widened as he opened his eyes. It was ironic, considering "Iyo" was a sad song. Ang kaso, hindi niya napigilan. Pagtunghay niya kasi ay nakatitig si Laurie. She had her arms crossed over her chest. He assumed she wasn't amused until their eyes met.

        And a small smile spread across her lips.

        This was probably what people mean when they say they disappear into a moment. Saglit siyang nawala sa Cafuné at nalunod kay Laurie.

        Ngiting-ngiti niyang kinalabit ang huling chord ng kanta. Hinapit niya ang mic. A cluster of girls was peeking from outside the glass doors. Lee waved at them. After that, he held the mic again.

        "Uh, so 'di ko alam kung alam niyo pero 'Iyo' 'yong una kong single and two weeks from now, magkakaro'n na siya ng music video. Finally, 'di ba? Anyway, ayon lang naman. I just wanted you to know. Sa mga nagtataka pala kung sino ako, hi. Ako po si Simeon Lee ng R/C Records."

        He bowed before getting off the platform. Sunod-sunod ang natanggap niyang notifications mula kay Charlotte. Minabuti na lang niyang 'wag pansinin. After taking selfies with some customers, he sat by the coffee bar.

        "On the house," sabi ni Laurie, sabay lapag ng plato ng cheese tortellini. "Kung may opinion ka, don't hold back. It would greatly help."

        Tumusok siya ng isang tortellini. He ate a small bite. "Okay lang naman, a?"

        "You have sauce on your lip." Itinuro nito ang sulok ng sariling labi. Napatingin din tuloy siya roon.

        Sighing, Laurie gave him the box of table napkins. Narinig niya itong bumuga ng hangin. Before he could react, he found himself inhaling sharply. She leaned over the counter, closer to him.

        "There," she said, sighing as she wiped the corner of his lips.

         They stayed like that for a few seconds.

        "Anong ginagawa niyo?" pakantang sabi ni Malie. "Ano 'yan, 'ha?"

        Kaagad na lumayo si Laurie. Halos ibato rin nito sa kanya iyong kapiraso ng tissue na may mantsa ng garlic butter sauce.

        "Lauwie, sumabay ka na kaya kay Lee? Humihilab na tiyan mo, 'di ba?" Saglit na tumalikod si Malie at kumuha ng plato. She filled it with some cheese tortellini. "Nag-rice ka na dapat kanina. You know cake isn't enough."

        Lee continued eating while Malie delivered her sermon. Wala nang nagawa si Laurie nang subuan ito ng pasta ng kaibigan.

        Nasa gitna ng pagtawa si Lee nang muling mag-vibrate ang phone niya. It was an e-mail from their alma mater, inviting him to perform on the university's 50th Foundation Day. "Lau," pagtawag niya sa kaharap. "Naka-receive ka ba ng e-mail about sa Foundation Day natin?"

        Laurie nodded. "Yes, someone from the current council reached out. Nagso-solicit for donation. Why?"

        "A, kakatanggap ko lang kasi ng sa 'kin," kuwento niya. "Ini-invite nila akong mag-perform."

        Her fork stopped midair. "That's huge." Namilog ang mga mata nito. "Pupunta ka?"

        "Depende siguro sa schedule," nangingiti niyang sagot. "Kung sasama ka, maybe yes."

        Laurie rolled her eyes before munching some of the pasta. "I'll think about it. Parang gusto ko ring makita 'yong bagong building na 'di natin naabutan."

        "Hmm, saka 'yong pool sa gym, 'no?" sagot niya habang ngumunguya.

        "What's with you? May na-miss ba 'ko?" Malie asked, confused. Nagpasalitsalit ang tingin nito sa kanila ni Laurie. "May nangyari ba after ng shoot?"

        Natigilan si Lee sa pagnguya. Pati si Laurie, nilapag ang tinidor sa plato. For a few seconds, they just exchanged glances. There really wasn't anything to tell Malie. Nag-usap lang naman sila noon habang sumasayaw.

        Although, for some reason, it seemed Laurie and Lee reached an understanding. An unspoken one.#