❝That made her die a little bit inside.❞

— ❁ —

        PLACING HIS chin on his hand, Lee sighed. It was the first day of shooting for his music video. Unang araw iyon na sarado ang Cafuné. The crew had begun setting up, too. Sina Laurie at Theo na lang ang kulang. Nalaman kasi ni Charlotte na magkakilala sila ni Theo. Apparently, the two worked together before. Charlotte ended up hiring him for some teaser and BTS photos.

        Lee intentionally arrived early. Gusto niya kasi sanang tanungin si Laurie kung bakit siya nito pinagluto at inalagaan noong nagkasakit siya. May ideya naman na siya kung bakit. He just wanted to clear things up and hear it straight from Laurie's lips.

        Nakatitig siya sa phone nang may maalala. "Lapit na pala ng birthday ni Lau, 'no?" he asked Malie who was wiping the countertop.

        "If you're thinking of surprising her, count me out. May sarili akong ganap."

        He ate some of the cake. Isinapin niya ang kamay sa ilalim ng kutsara upang maiwasan ang pagpatak ng chocolate crumbs sa suot niyang slacks. "Anong ireregalo mo kay Lau?"

        "Hmm." Saglit nitong nilapag sa counter ang tuwalyang ginamit. "I'm planning to cook for her. Pang-one week na sigurong ulam. Puro kape 'yon, e, saka dessert."

        "Bigyan ko ba siya ng cake?" he asked absentmindedly while staring at the cake slice.

        "Tanong mo na lang kaya siya kung gusto niyang may matanggap from you?" Malie suggested with a smile. "You know, para na rin hindi ka masaktan in case, hindi niya tanggapin gift mo."

        "Okay, e, what if sabihin niyang ayaw niya?"

        The barista laughed, clearly amused at his question. "E, 'di sorry na lang sa 'yo." Pang-asar pa nitong inilabas ang dila.

        Nagpakawala siya ng buntonghininga. "May birthday plans ba siya? May nasabi ba sa 'yo?"

        "Si Stefan, tumatawag minsan," kuwento nito habang isinasalansan ang mga baso sa cupboard.

        "Hindi pa rin ba sila nagse-celebrate nang sabay?" kunot-noo niyang tanong. Napamaang siya nang mapansing nalukot ang noo ni Malie. Malie probably didn't know about that.

        It used to be Laurie's birthday wish. Kapag daw bumalik na ang kuya nito galing abroad, magse-celebrate sila nang sabay. Ayon kay Laurie, nagsimula lang namang magkalayo ang loob nilang magkapatid pagdating ng high school.

        "After grad pa raw kasi umuwi si Stefan—" Saglit na natigilan si Malie, parang tahimik na sinala ang mga sasabihin. "—then ayon, Spain. Ha-ha. Anyway, 'pag 'di sinasagot ni Lau 'yong mga tawag niya, nagpapa-relay na lang 'yon sa 'kin ng long birthday message. Minsan, nagpapadala ng wine."

        Lee nodded along. He was in no position to judge. Wala naman kasi siyang puwedeng pagbasehan. The closest thing he had to a sibling would be Charlotte, his fellow artists, and probably Theo.

        Tumunog ang door chimes, dahilan upang mapalingon siya sa pinto. His lips stretched into a smile upon seeing Laurie. She walked hastily. On her shoulders rested a white suit jacket. Her black cinched balloon dress flowed. Lumagatok din ang suot nitong ankle boots sa sahig ng café.

        Laurie walked past him with her sling bag swinging with every step. "Goodmorning," bati nito sa kanila ni Malie.

        "Goodmorning, Lauwie~"

        Parang tuod na pinanuod ni Lee kung paano nito pinuno ng Americano ang bitbit na thermos. She wasn't really doing anything special. She was just going on with her day as usual. Even then, Laurie knew how to dress. There was no reason to be surprised.

        Still, Lee felt his breath hitch. Sa simpleng presensya nito ay halos hindi na naman siya makahinga. "Ang ganda mo."

        As if just freed from a trance, he blinked. Laurie stared at him with her knitted brows. Her cheeks slightly flushed, too. Si Malie naman, tahimik na sinubukang pigilin ang pagtawa. Nakagat ni Lee ang labi. Hindi niya kasi namalayang nasabi niya ang kumento nang malakas.

        He didn't take it back, though. There was no point in doing so. Hindi naman siya nagsisinungaling.

        Laurie rummaged through her bag. Malie kept mum while glancing at them. Inaabangan ata nito kung sino ang unang bibigay.

        "Thanks," Laurie finally said in a small voice.

        Lee swore he felt his whole being light up. Malawak din siyang napangiti nang makitang naka-thumbs up si Malie sa likod ni Laurie. Ngumiti lang siya. To him, it was no contest but if love was a competition, he would definitely be on the last place.

        Baka nga magpatalo pa siya, maipanalo lang itong kanila ni Laurie.

—

        AMID THE chaos, Laurie ended up watching Lee's painting hanging by the coffee bar. Gustuhin man niyang tumulong sa pagkakabit ng kung ano-ano, hindi pupuwede. Si Charlotte na mismo ang nagsabi sa kanilang 'wag tumulong. Hindi naman daw kasi iyon kasama sa usapan. It would be unfair for the agency, prod team, and the café.

        She breathed in deeply, inhaling the aroma of the Americano. Sadyang hinahatak siya ng painting pero baka wala nang kasalanan ang painting. Baka nasa kanya na. She always loved whatever Lee created. And in terms of interpreting artworks, films, and books, the two of them made a great pair.

        Laurie heaved a sigh. Kahit kailan, hindi siya tumigil sa pagkamangha sa mga piyesa ni Lee. Humakbang siya ng isa paatras. She stared at the eye that Lee expertly expressed through colorful strokes.

        When the staring didn't suffice, she took a step forward. Itinaas niya ang kanang hintuturo. Akmang tutusukin na niya iyong nakaumbok na pintura nang maramdaman niyang may tumabi sa kanya.

        It was Lee. Laurie almost yelped in surprise. Napakalapit kasi ng mukha nito sa kanya. Nakangiti rin ito. Mukhang aliw na aliw sa idinulot ng painting sa kanya. "Alam mo namang bawal hawakan ang paintings lalo na 'pag oil-based, 'di ba?"

        "Sorry, nawala lang sa isip ko," sagot niya, sabay tungga ng kape.

        "Ano ba kasing tinitingnan mo? Alam mo nang ako nag-paint niyan, 'di ba?" Humawak ito sa batok. "Kung may tanong ka, p'wede mo naman akong diretsuhin. We have time. 'Di pa tapos 'yong art team, e."

        Laurie's eyes roamed the café, looking for a diversion. Malie was eating some flan. Ang kaharap naman nitong si Theo ay kumukuha ng pictures ng staff. She faced Lee again. Nagpasalit-salit ang tingin niya rito at sa nakasabit na painting.

        "Well?" he encouraged her to ask.

        Defeated, Laurie pointed at the clumps of yellow paint shaped like leaves. "Those are leaves, right?"

        He smiled at her knowingly. "Naaalala mo pa 'yong inuupuan nating bench dati? May mga punong nakahilera do'n, 'di ba?" Hindi siya nakasagot. "Every year, may buwan na nahuhulog 'yong mga dahon no'n, 'di ba?"

        Laurie gripped her thermos as if her life depended on it.

        "May tanong ka pa ba?" Lee sounded sincere. There wasn't any hint of sarcasm or passive-aggressiveness.

        Parang gusto lang nitong ipaalala na kailanman ay hindi ito nakalimot.

        "That eye in the middle. . ." She gulped as she felt his stare bore into her soul. Tuloy, awtomatiko siyang napalingon. Nasalubong din niya nang 'di sadya ang mga mata nitong naghihintay ng pagsalubong ng kanya.

        "Sa 'yo." He chuckled when she didn't answer. "Hindi ba obvious? Okay, noted 'yan."

        Laurie crossed her arms again. "What?"

        "Mas ipapahalata ko na next time."

        Lee's smile was soft. Taliwas iyon sa kabigatan ng ipinupukol na titig ng mga mata nito.

        That made her die a little bit inside.

        Laurie took a step back. Sa pagkakataong iyon, hindi na ang nakatagong subject ng painting ang tiningnan niya. She found herself staring at something else other than the painting. She began wondering, too. Nagsimula siyang magtaka kung may karapatan siyang tumabi at makipag-usap kay Lee pagkatapos ng ginawa niya noon.

        Sa gitna ng pagmumunimuni, bigla itong lumingon sa kanya. Ngumiti rin.

        Fuck.

        Sunod-sunod ang ginawa niyang paglunok ng kape sa halip na umimik.

        Mayamaya, nagsimula na ang photoshoot para sa teaser photos. Laurie decided to keep a safe distance. Doon siya sa loob ng coffee bar umupo.

        "Lauwie," tawag sa kanya ni Malie. Nakadukwang ito roon sa countertop. "May tiramisu tayo ngayon, 'di ba?"

        "Mayro'n sa ref. Why?"

        "Kuha raw sila—" Tumuro ito sa makeup artist at mga stylist na nagkukuwentuhan. "—ng apat."

        Bumaba siya sa stool para silipin ang ref. "We have a whole cake. Mas makakamura sila kung buo na bibilhin nila."

        Pinaglaruan ni Malie ang dulo ng ponytail. "I told them that, kaso hihintayin daw muna nila 'yong manager ni Lee. Baka raw kasi mabigla sa gastos, e."

        "Okay, let's bring over four slices but let's not charge them yet."

        While Malie chatted with the staff, Laurie overheard Theo instructing Lee to keep the boy-next-door vibe going. Sumilip siya sa laptop ni Theo. Nakakonekta kasi iyon sa gamit nitong DSLR.

        "Move your head a little bit to the side please," Theo told Lee while looking into the camera. "I said a little bit. Please don't move your shoulders. Okay, do you want me to go over there and show you?"

       Laurie crossed her arms while staring at Theo. May pagkamasungit kasi ito kapag nagtatrabaho. Lee didn't seem to mind, though. Para ngang natutuwa pa ito sa ipinakikita ni Theo.

        "Sorry," nakangiting sabi ni Lee. Tumikhim ito at nagpamulsa. Pagkatapos ay itinupi nito ang kanang tuhod palikod at saka, lumingon nang kaunti pakaliwa. "Is this okay?"

        "Yes, thank you," Theo mumbled. "Hold that pose please." Pinindot nito ang shutter button. "Okay, now please look straight into the lens."

       Sumunod naman si Lee.

        As she stared at the laptop screen, Laurie bit her lip. Para kasing sa kanya nakatitig si Lee. Mabilis siyang humakbang pabalik doon sa mesa ng staff.

        "Where are you looking?" she heard Theo ask Lee.

       Napalingon siya sa direksyon ng dalawa. Theo heaved a sigh. It seemed he understood what distracted Lee. Kumaway naman sa kanya si Lee. He even mouthed, "hi" to which she replied with a small smile.

        The rest of the shoot went smoothly after that. A few minutes later, Theo placed his laptop on the countertop. Sinenyasan siya nitong lumapit. Sumunod din sina Lee at Malie. The three of them towered over Theo.

        Seconds later, he showed them the laptop.

        Naka-full screen doon ang pictures ni Lee na kinuha kanikanina lang. "I'm sure that I'm supposed to show these to Charlotte first but I could also use your opinion. Here are the raw pictures."

        Theo pressed the right arrow for every three seconds. Okasyunal sila nitong sinulyapan para masigurong sa pictures sila nakatingin.

        "What do you think?" Theo asked them eagerly. May kakaibang kislap sa mata nito. "These 10 pictures are the best ones. Hindi pa finalized kung ilan 'yong for the teaser but you may choose five."

        Lee leaned closer to the laptop. "P'wede ba?" Nang tumango si Theo ay kinandong nito ang laptop. Inisa-isa niya ulit ang mga picture. "Gusto ko 'to."

        Nilabas ni Theo ang phone mula sa bulsa. "Okay, look at the filename. Can you dictate to me the last four digits?"

        "Two, five, nine, three."

        "Pili pa kayo ng apat."

        Malie looked at the pictures, too. Nanatili namang nakahalukipkip lang si Laurie. Sa halip na idikta ang mga filename, itinuro na lang ni Malie ang thumbnail ng mga napili.

        Theo jotted down the filenames. Mayamaya ay tumunghay ito kay Lee.

        "O, bakit gan'yan ka makatingin?" Lee asked.

        "Are you sure you want to go with 2634?" Hinanap pa ni Theo sa laptop iyong tinutukoy at saka, pinalaki iyong picture sa screen. "Itong naka-lip bite ka?"

        Napamaang si Lee. "Ikaw kaya nag-suggest ng pose na 'yan."

        "Alin ba?" singit ni Malie. "Oh, my gosh." Harap-harapan itong tumawa pagkatapos. "Lauwie, tingnan mo~"

        Wala nang nagawa si Laurie nang kargahin ni Malie ang laptop, maipakita lang iyong picture. She scrunched her nose, then cleared her throat. "Okay lang naman," pagsisinungaling niya.

        Napanguso si Lee. Pagkatapos ay lumingon ito kay Theo. "Lau, p'wede kang tumawa. I won't be offended, promise."

        "Actually, I'm just here to—" Kinuha niya iyong platito at tinidor sa mesa. "—take these back." Nagmamadali siyang lumakad palayo sa tatlo.

        Dahil medyo tambak na ang hugasin, sa lababo siya dumiretso. Laurie began washing the fork. Mariin niyang kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi. Mahina rin siyang natawa pagkatapos. Lee just looked so dumb in the picture.

—

        THE OVERALL picture of the music video was pretty simple. Sayaw ang pinaka-theme. Magsisimula ang video sa isang batang lalaki at babaeng sumasayaw. Slowly, the kids transition into adults alongside their dancing. The dance, on the other hand, would also evolve. Kindergarten recital ang unang setting na susundan ng prom sa high school gym. After that comes the couple slow-dancing in a bar.

        The video would end with the two waltzing at the café where they had their first date.

        "Dab mo lang 'yong towel, a? 'Wag mong ipupunas," nakangiwing paalala ng makeup artist na si Ida.

        Lee did as he was told. "Tayo na lang kaya ako do'n sa may aircon?"

        Ikinumpas ng babae ang kamay, pinaaalis siya. "Why not?"

        Sa halip na sa aircon lumapit, doon na lang siya sa coffee bar pumunta. Doon din naman kasi nakatutok ang aircon. Besides that, Laurie was also there. Tahimik lang itong nakikinig sa usapan ng staff. She would sometimes smile and nod along.

        Lee sat on the far end. May apat na nakapagitan sa kanila ni Laurie. Nagpalinga-linga siya. Medyo malayo sa kanya iyong babasaging pitsel ng tubig. While dabbing the towel on his forehead, he cleared his throat. "Babe, pakiabot naman ng tubig."

        Namilog ang mga mata ni Lee. Pati iyong katabi niyang staff, naguluhan, nagbulungan, at nagngitian.

        Handa na siyang magpalamon sa lupa nang bumaba si Laurie mula sa inuupuang stool. Instead of saying anything snarky, she brought the pitcher of water. Ito pa mismo ang nagsalin ng tubig sa baso niya. "Here."

        Naguguluhan niya itong tiningnan. He didn't know whether she noticed his Freudian slip or not.

        It was the second day of the shoot. Baka pagod lang si Laurie kaya hindi nito napansin ang sinabi niya. There was no need to overthink. "Iyo" played repeatedly the whole day. Maski si Lee ay nagsisimula nang magsawa sa sariling boses.

        Katatapos lang nila sa mga eksenang tumutugtog siya ng gitara kasabay ng string orchestra. He glanced at the coffee bar. Neither Malie nor Laurie was there. May bibilhin lang daw ang mga ito sa kalapit na convenience store.

        Lee hugged his guitar, sighed, then started strumming to the tune of Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You". He was singing the first few lines when the small orchestra joined. Malawak siyang napangiti. Tuluyan niyang hinapit ang kalapit na mic stand.

        Some of the staff laughed.

        "You're just too good to be true," he sang. "Can't take my eyes off of you."

        Saktong pagbanggit niya ng linyang iyon ang siyang pagtunog ng door chimes. It was Laurie and Malie. Lee grinned widely. Lakad-takbo ang ginawa niya, malapitan lang si Laurie na nasa pintuan. She looked confused. Everyone in the room was either humming or singing loudly.

        Pinagpatuloy ni Lee ang pagkalabit sa gitara hanggang sa malapitan niya si Laurie. "At long last, love has arrived and thank God, I'm alive~"

        Laurie scrunched her nose, then rolled her eyes. Lalong lumawak ang ngiti niya dahil doon. Sinundan niya ito hanggang sa coffee bar. During the instrumental break, he beckoned her to lean in from inside the counter. "What?"

        "Sorry," nakatawang sabi ni Lee. "Nagkatuwaan lang kasi umay na kami sa boses ko."

        "Why are you apologizing? It's fine," Laurie whispered into his ear.

        The break was down to its last few notes. Nginitian niya si Laurie bago siya bumalik sa makeshift podium. Muli niyang hinawakan ang mic. He smiled at her again and winked. "Oh, pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay and let me love you, baby. . . let me love you."

—

        "DO YOU know how to waltz?" Charlotte asked Laurie with a spine-chilling smile.

        Apparently, the artist who was supposed to appear in the video couldn't make it. May conflict daw sa schedule. Stuck in Batangas or La Union or something. Laurie couldn't care less but she couldn't say no either.

        Everything happened all at once. May naramdaman siyang kumukulot ng buhok niya. A makeup artist removed her nude lipstick. Pinasuot din siya ng isang vintage bow dress. By the time it felt like everyone finished their part, Laurie was exhausted.

        "Gosh, matagal ko nang alam na maganda pero ibang level 'tong ngayon, Lauwie," puri sa kanya ni Malie na ikinatawa niya. Nilabas pa nito ang phone, kinuhaan ata siya ng pictures. "By the way, are you okay with this?"

        "With what?"

        Pinaningkitan siya nito ng mata. "With you dancing with Lee?"

        "What?"

        "Hindi mo alam?" Hindi makapaniwala siyang tiningnan ng best friend. "I thought you knew."

        "They just asked me if I know how to waltz and I do know waltz so. . ." Napalabi siya. "Never mind. It's fine. It's fine. Sasayaw lang naman, e."

        "You just said 'it's fine' twice." Hinawakan ni Malie ang magkabila niyang balikat. "Okay ka lang ba talaga, Lau? Kung 'di ka comfortable, sabihin ko ako na lang kahit na feeling ko. . . 'di ko kaya 'yang gan'yan kataas na heels."

        "You don't have to do that for me. Baka matapilok ka pa." Bumuntonghininga siya.

        "If you feel like ghosting the open mic scheduled next week, okay lang. Kaya ko naman na 'yon. Papatulong na lang siguro ako kay Cheska. Siya naman nagsabi na babawi siya kasi subsob siya sa exams this week."

        "Mal, like I said, it's fine. It's not like one dance could dama—"

        Hindi niya naituloy ang sasabihin nang biglang hampasin ni Malie ang kanan niyang braso. "Hala ka, Lauwie." Muli siya nitong hinampas bago tumuro sa kung saan. "Ang guwapo ni Lee."

        Agad siyang nakaramdam ng pagsisisi nang awtomatikong sundan ng mga mata niya ang tinuturo ni Malie. The stylists made Lee wear a tan peak lapel 2-piece suit over a white dress shirt. The first three buttons were unbuttoned, revealing not only his chest but also the only accessory he had around his neck.

        Iyong niregalo niyang kuwintas.

        Sigurado siyang hindi iyon kasama sa wardrobe dahil ipinatanggal din ng direktor ang relo at mga hikaw niya. Gusto raw kasi nitong mabigyang-pokus ang kasimplehan ng set up at kuwento ng video. Lee must have requested to keep his necklace – their necklace.

        Mariing napalunok si Laurie. Naramdaman niya ang paninikip ng dibdib.

        Oh, God.

        "Lauwie?"

        She blinked thrice.

        "Tawag ka na ni Direk," Malie whispered. Tinusok-tusok pa nito ang kanan niyang pisngi. "I-cheer ko kayo, kaya mo 'yan~"

        Parang lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam niya sa bawat paghakbang niya.

        Laurie was frantically thinking of any excuse to back out when she felt Lee's sleeve nudging her elbow's bare skin. "My lady?" nakangiti nitong tanong habang nakaangat ang kanang braso. Pinakakapit siya nito roon.

        Nilingon niya ang staff at ang director bago niya ibinalik ang tingin kay Lee. "My lord," Laurie answered with a sigh, her fingers trembling.#