❝While that made it seem like she was the bigger person, it didn't feel that way.❞

— ❁ —

        LAURIE WATCHED the oddly-shaped star anise floating on Malie's frog mug. Hindi kasi mukhang star. Putol ang dalawang paa. "I can't stop looking at it," bulong niya bago bumaling kay Malie na kararating lang. "Magluluto ka na ba? I thought we agreed on discussing the menu first."

        "Nope." With her hands on her hips, Malie turned around. "Stop calling it a menu. Sabi mo, puro finger food lang naman ang kailangan."

        Sumimsim si Laurie sa thermos niya. The Americano left a bitter aftertaste. "I talked to Greta on the phone yesterday. Tayo na raw bahala sa iba pang pagkain basta may cake pops."

        "May sinabi ba siya tungkol sa design?" tanong nito habang ipinupusod ang kulot na buhok na binasa ng ulan.

        "They don't care about the sex of the baby so maybe we could do both?" Laurie suggested. "We could make gender-neutral baby clothes."

        Malie burst out laughing. "Paanong baby clothes?" Sinubukan nitong itali ang kulay brown na apron sa baywang.

        Napabuntonghininga si Laurie. Bumaba siya mula sa inuupuang stool. Without a word, she gently spun Malie around. "Baby clothes as in sleeping clothes," she mumbled as she carefully tied the apron. "You know the dresses babies wear when they're about to sleep? 'Yong may ruffles?"

        Ngumuso ito. "If you keep doing things like that, I might just fall for you for real. Sige ka, Lauwie."

        "Ngayon pa lang, nire-reject na kita." Inabot niya ang metallic thermos na iniwan sa countertop.

        Her best friend pouted more. "That's fine. Alam ko namang 'di ka pa ready'ng magmahal ulit."

        Pagkasabi niyon, umamba ito ng yakap. Laurie didn't bother correcting or avoiding Malie. Baka kasi magtampo ito sa kanya. She didn't return the hug, though. "So going back, the cake pops?" she mumbled.

        Malie finally let her go. "Ilan nga ulit silang pupunta?"

        "She said she invited 30 but only 11 confirmed so far."

        "Gawa tayo siguro ng 40 cake pops?" Malie asked, sitting on one of the stools.

        Laurie hummed. "Let's make different flavors. We could do chocolate or confetti and then, isang vegan option."

        "What if 'yong vegan vanilla?"

        "I can't see why not. Should we make mango tarts or pepperoni pizza rolls?"

        "Both, tapos para medyo may variety. . . gawa na rin tayo ng dynamite?"

        Nalukot ang noo niya. "Dynamite?"

        Natawa nang mahina si Malie. "Jalapeño poppers."

        "Oh, okay. Should we make the cake pops now?" Laurie opened the refrigerator. "May space pa naman. Plus, I think we still have some cocoa powder." Afterward, she tiptoed to check on the shelves.

        "We could start with the cake. Medyo matrabaho 'yong meringue, e."

        "Should we divide and conquer?" Sumulyap siya sa wall clock sa itaas ng ref. It was only minutes past 9 o'clock. "You start on the cake and I start on the cake pops. I can work on the chocolate, red velvet, and confetti. 'Yong vegan vanilla naman, p'wedeng mamaya na. The store opens around 11 anyway."

        "Okay, pero pa'no 'yong design?"

        "Kaya ko namang mag-pipe. Just teach me how," she assured Malie before gulping down the rest of her Americano.

        "Calm down, Lauwie. I'm not doubting your piping skills," Malie said, making guns with her fingers. "But you remember about the pottery class, right?"

        Laurie nodded. "What about it?"

        "Sa Friday din 'yon. Drinks lang naman kailangan do'n kasi 'yong organizer ang magpu-provide ng pagkain ng attendees."

        "You're in contact with the artist, right? Please make sure that no student arrives earlier. The class begins at 8 AM while the baby shower should start at 2 PM. That should give us plenty of time to clean."

        "Okay, so set na tayo, right?" Tumayo si Malie para lapitan siya. Pagkatapos, inilahad nito ang kanang kamay, saglit na hinintay ang sa kanya. "Come on, Lauwie. Ayaw mong mag-pep talk tayo, e. Ito na lang."

        Laurie has always admired Malie's sunny demeanor. Malie just cancels her out. She would like to think of Malie as the tea to her coffee but that wouldn't be right. Mahilig din kasi sa kape ang best friend niya. Sa timpla lang siguro sila nagkaiba. Malie preferred her coffee creamy and sweet while Laurie liked hers bitter.

        Pagdating naman sa pastries, doon sila nagkakasundo. Pareho nilang ayaw ng masyadong matamis.

        But when it came to their signature coffee, Malie yielded to Laurie. Mas may experience daw kasi siya kaysa rito. Laurie wouldn't count making coffee for her ex-boyfriend an "experience", though. For all she knew, he might have said her coffee tasted perfect just because she was the one who made it.

        Laurie bit her lower lip. Nakasanayan na niya ang pagkagat sa labi kada maiisip ang ex. It was her way of scolding and preventing herself from thinking of him.

        "Lauwie, nangangawit na 'ko, o," narinig niyang reklamo ni Malie.

        Nakabitin pa rin sa ere ang kamay nito. Mula noong magkakilala sila sa isang coffee shop, ganoon na yata si Malie: isang distraction.

        Laurie just felt drawn to Malie. She didn't hesitate to share everything – from her mom to her decision to leave him.

        "Uy." Hinawakan ni Malie ang magkabila niyang balikat. "Are you still worried? Sabi ko naman sa 'yo. If we keep catering to events, we'll be fine. For now, kailangan nating ituloy-tuloy 'to. You still want that crystal chandelier from Alejandro's, right?"

        Laurie finally cracked a small smile. Iyon kasi ang una niyang binanggit sa best friend pagkagaling niya sa restaurant. Of course, she conveniently left the part where she broke down in her car after seeing her ex. Malie seemed to know, though. Lalo kasing sumingkit ang mga mata niya, gawa ng pag-iyak.

        Gayunpaman, hindi ito nagkumento.

        Malie just offered her coffee and then, Laurie went on about Alejandro's crystal chandelier cascading down its high ceiling.

        "Forget about the chandelier for now. You need to make rent," Laurie said, sighing.

        "Anong akala mo sa 'kin?" tumatawang sabi ni Malie. "May ipon ako. I'm good for three months. I can't believe na ginagamit mo pa rin akong excuse."

        "What?"

        "Wala," pakanta nitong sabi. "I said let's get to work. Dami pa nating gagawin, 'di ba?"

        Laurie just scrunched her nose.

        Come Friday morning, Laurie drove to Cafuné. Medyo basa pa nga ang buhok niya. Hindi na rin siya nag-almusal bago umalis ng bahay. Balak niya kasing sa café na lang kumain. She didn't eat breakfast there either, though. She just filled her metallic thermos with Americano and sat behind the counter.

        While waiting for Malie, she checked her Twitter account.

        Napaismid siya sa bumungad na tweet. Kahit anong mute o block niya sa pangalan nito, laging may pumupuslit na balita. Most tweets were sponsored so she couldn't really do much. Apparently, he went on a videocast and talked about his viral video two years ago.

        Laurie bit her lip – harder, this time.

        She glanced at the wall clock. 5:30 AM ang usapan nila ni Malie. Nang mainip, sinubukan niya itong tawagan. Wala pa rin. Nagsimula siyang kabahan. Surely, Malie wouldn't leave her hanging. Alam nito kung gaano kahalaga sa kanya ang baby shower. She told her about her Greta, Greta's dad Leon, and her father.

        Laurie began panicking and pacing around the café. She tried contacting the artist in charge of the amateur pottery class but to no avail. Napabuntonghininga siya. Drinks lang naman ang kailangan para sa klase.

        Saktong 7 AM dumating iyong artist para sa pottery class. Itinulak nito iyong babasaging pinto, dahilan upang kumalansing ang door chimes na nakasabit. "Goodmorning po, Miss Laurie," humahangos nitong bati. "Ako po si Yela. I believe we haven't met?"

        Laurie immediately shook Yela's hand. Nasa Alejandro's kasi siya noong araw na nakipagkita ito kay Malie. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. Uh, I won't beat around the bush."

        Yela placed her bag on the countertop. "Ano po 'yon?"

        "Malie makes most of the drinks," paliwanag ni Laurie. Napansin niya ang pagkunot ng noo ni Yela. Lalo siyang nailang. She pulled down her sleeves. "As you can see, she isn't here yet and I'm afraid she's not coming. For that, I apologize. Ang maio-offer ko lang na alternative, for now, ay 'yong signature blend naming mocha with star anise."

        "A," tumatangong sabi ng babae. Saglit nitong nilaro ang suot na cross pendant. "I'd be lying if I say it's okay, pero wala naman na po tayong magagawa."

        "I'm really sorry for this but don't worry. I'll give you a discount. Hindi ka pa nakakapag-send ng deposit kay Malie, right?"

        "Uhm, nakapag-send na po ako ng 50 percent." Magalang na ngumiti si Yela. "Anyway, magsa-start na po akong mag-set up. Need ko nga rin po pala ng dalawang extension for my laptop and projector."

        Laurie went to get the extension cords while Yela began arranging the tables. Tinulungan ito ni Laurie sa pagtatayo ng projector screen. They were expecting 20 students. Because of that, Yela decided to make everyone sit on the floor. Nang mapansin ang pangangamba ni Laurie'ng madumihan ng clay ang sahig, nangingiting nilatag ni Yela ang baong yoga mats.

        "Mugs and plates lang naman po 'yong activity kaya 'wag po kayong mag-alala," nakangiti nitong sabi sa kanya.

        The first student arrived at 8:05 AM. Saktong katatapos lang na magtimpla ni Laurie ng kape. Nang dumating ang iba, inabot sa kanya ni Yela ang ilang box ng pancakes. Laurie reheated them in the oven.

        Everything went smoothly as planned. According to the program, Yela was supposed to discuss the basics of pottery until 10 AM. Hanggang ala-una naman ng hapon ang activity.

        Laurie sat by the coffee bar while Yela went on with her lecture. Binigyan niya ng kape ang bawat estudyanteng lalapit sa kanya. It was expected. Maaga kasing nagsimula ang program. By 11 AM, Laurie was blending coffee for the fourth time. She took that as a good sign.

        Mukhang kaya naman niya nang wala si Malie.

        She didn't stop calling her, though. Hindi niya kasi mapigilang mag-alala. Sobrang excited kasi ni Malie. Gusto rin kasi sana nitong makigulo sa klase ni Yela at gumawa ng flower mugs.

        Laurie's relief was cut short when she heard the door chimes clang. Napatingin silang lahat doon, pati ang mga estudyanteng nakasalampak sa sahig. Nalukot naman ang noo niya. Laurie never met Greta but the one who just entered looked like the picture she's been talking to for days. Immediately, she approached the pregnant woman.

        Laurie removed her cat-shaped hair clamp. She gestured at Yela before leading Greta outside the café. "Good morning, Miss Greta. I'm sorry but isn't it a bit early for you to be here? Wala pa nga pong 12 noon."

        Greta scoffed. Marahas din nitong iniwas ang braso. "Nag-message ako sa 'yo kagabi. Hindi mo ba nabasa?"

        Through the large windows of the café, Laurie could see Yela glancing in their direction. Sinubukan niyang kumalma dahil doon. "I'm sorry but I didn't receive any message. May I know what the content of the message was?"

        Greta scoffed again. "I told you we'll be here at 11 AM. May spa appointment kasi kami ng friends ko mamayang hapon."

        "I'm afraid I didn't see it. May I ask if I replied? Actually, ma'am, visible din on your end kung nabasa ko 'yong message niyo. If you check the conversation and my picture dropped on the—"

        "Miss Navarro, I'm not dumb," Greta cut her off. "I messaged your Facebook page. I know how Messenger works."

        Laurie could feel her patience wearing thin. Maayos naman siyang nakikipag-usap. She followed every single one of Malie's tips for engaging with entitled customers. "I didn't say you were dumb. Ang akin lang naman po, baka hindi ko talaga nabasa 'yong message niyo. If that's the case, then maybe you shouldn't have come here unannounced."

        "Okay, fine, pero nandito na ako. What now?" nakapameywang nitong sabi.

        Akmang sasagot si Laurie nang may tatlong kotseng dumating. Lahat ay Bentley. Napapikit siya sa inis. Greta must have told the rest of the party to come at 11 AM, too. One by one, the car doors opened. Isa-isa ring bumaba ang mga kaibigan ni Greta.

        Laurie knew of their clique. Kilala ang mga ito sa pambu-bully sa exclusive golf course na binibisita ni Stefan at ng daddy niya.

        "What's wrong this time?" tanong ng isa sa mga babae.

        Ngumisi si Greta kay Laurie. "She says we can't have the party right now."

        Pilit niyang nilunok ang inis. "I'm not saying you can't. We agreed on 2 PM today. I'm afraid I can't accommodate you right now because as you can see—" She glanced at Yela inside the café. "—someone already booked the café until 1 PM."

        "Oh, my God," another girl exclaimed. "You're Tito Federico's daughter, right? The one who tried to run away?"

        Laurie couldn't help but grimace. It's one of the reasons why she tried to leave and failed. Five years ago, when she tried to look for her mom, a family friend saw her at the airport. Nalaman ng daddy niya ang plano niya. Halos kaladkarin siya nito pauwi. Napauwi din si Stefan sa Pilipinas dahil doon.

        "I don't see why that's relevant. Anyway, I'm sorry but I still can't let you in." Laurie tried her best to smile apologetically.

        "You realize that my dad will hear about this, right?" Greta smirked, threatening her. "And that your dad will probably do, too."

        "I hope you also realize that I really can't do anything. But if you could just wait until 2 PM, which was the original schedule, I thi—"

        "I'm sorry din but we can't." The girls snickered when Greta cut her off again. "I guess we'll just have to find another venue. Your café looks cheap, by the way."

        A thousand words ran through Laurie's mind. Most were curses and insults. Still, she succeeded in keeping her composure. "Sure, thank you for understanding." That sounded sarcastic but she didn't care anymore. "I'll refund your deposit immediately."

        Greta huffed and looked at her from head to toe. Bago sumakay sa kotse, muli itong umirap at ngumisi. Pinanatili naman ni Laurie ang ngiti sa labi. Mariin siyang pumikit sa inis nang makalayo na ang mga sasakyan nina Greta.

        Ipinadyak niya ang mga paa. "Fuck," inis niyang sigaw.

        Nilingon niya si Yela. Upon confirming that no one heard her curse, she went back inside the café. She continued serving coffee to the students. Yela asked about the commotion earlier. Laurie just told her not to worry. The advice was for her, though.

        She knew that Greta wasn't lying. Totoong ikukuwento nito sa mga daddy nila ang nangyari.

        Once the pottery class ended, Yela bid her goodbye. Laurie was left alone in the café, annoyed at the supplies and ingredients wasted because of Greta's baby shower. Muli niyang tinawagan si Malie. Hindi pa rin ito sumasagot. Dahil doon, minabuti niyang puntahan ito sa apartment. Malie was only a few blocks anyway.

        Laurie quickly cleaned the café and locked up.

        On the way to Malie's, Stefan called her. She ignored him. Alam naman na niya ang sasabihin nito. Stefan would probably tease or reprimand her for her attitude towards Greta. Malamang din ay binaligtad siya ni Greta.

        Tanaw na niya ang apartment ni Malie nang makatanggap siya ng isang text message. It was from her Dad.

        "I'm very disappointed in you," it read.

        Sa inis, hindi niya namalayang napabilis ang takbo niya. Hindi rin niya namalayang nasa tapat na siya ng apartment ni Malie. Kinuha niya ang duplicate key na ibinigay nito sa kanya. Laurie felt her heart pounding loudly. Her hands began trembling, too.

        Lalong bumigat ang pakiramdam niya nang maaninag niya ang ilaw mula sa kuwarto ni Malie.

        Pagak siyang tumawa. "What the fuck, Mal? Were you here the whole time while I was dealing with the mess you made?"

        Stomping her heels, Laurie made her way to Malie's bedroom. The second she turned the knob, she regretted saying everything she just said. Nadatnan niya kasing nakahiga sa kama si Malie. Magulo ang buhok nito, mukhang 'di pa bumabangon buhat umaga. Saka lang niya naintindihan kung bakit nang damhin niya ang noo nito.

        Malie was burning. Her lips were quivering, too.

        Laurie's eyes began welling up. "Fuck. I'm so sorry."

        Nanatiling walang imik si Malie. Dali-dali niyang kinalkal ang drawers nito. She looked for blankets to wrap Malie with. When that didn't suffice, she took her shoes off. Pumunta siya sa banyo. She filled a bowl with water and got a towel. Hinanap din niya ang thermometer.

        After an hour, Malie's temperature began running low.

        Malie sat up straight. "Lauwie, why were you angry? Anong nangyari sa café?" sumisinghot nitong tanong bago abutin ang Vicks VapoRub sa nightstand.

        "Doesn't matter," buntonghininga niyang sagot. "I'm really sorry, okay?"

        Mukhang hindi kumbinsido sa sagot niya si Malie kaya sinikap niyang ngumiti. Laurie would tell her eventually. Wala naman siyang naitatago rito. Besides that, Malie was part-owner. She had every right to know what happened with Greta and Yela's pottery class.

        Mukhang totoo rin namang nag-message si Greta sa Facebook page ng café. Sa Facebook page na si Malie ang may access.

        "Sure ka, 'ha?" paninigurado ni Malie.

        "Yep," was all she could reply.

        Laurie just didn't want to discuss how she felt. Pinigil niya kasi ang inis kay Greta. While that made it seem like she was the bigger person, it didn't feel that way. Pakiramdam niya, ang hina-hina niya. Hindi rin nakatulong 'yong paulit-ulit niyang paghingi ng pasensya kahit wala namang kasalanan ang café.

        She couldn't help but wonder whether she would be able to do the same to him someday.

        When Malie fell asleep, Laurie searched for the sponsored tweet she saw earlier. He was smiling brightly in the picture. Kasingliwanag ng ngiti nito iyong buhok ng katabi nitong babae.

        Laurie bit her lip so hard that it bled. At least, one of us is having a better day.#