❝Oddly enough, it comforted him, too.❞

— ❁ —

        TIME MOVED painfully slow that day. Kating-kati nang umuwi si Lee kaso may videocast pa siyang pupuntahan. Kasalanan din naman niya kung bakit siya puyat. The night before, he had a gig but he slept on the way home. That was the problem, though. Dahil nakaidlip siya sa van, magdamag siyang gising.

        He ended up binge-watching "Bake Squad".

        Yawning, he punched the straw into the caramel macchiato he picked up. Kaagad siyang sumimsim at napangiwi.

        "Kuya, tulog ka kaya muna?" suhestiyon sa kanya ni Junnie.

        Saglit na nagtagpo ang mga mata nila sa rear-view mirror. Nginitian ito ni Lee. "'Di na. Baka mapasobra tulog ko, tapos sabog akong dumating do'n. Mas mahirap 'yon." Bahagya siyang tumayo para hinaan ang aircon'g nakatutok sa kanya. "Hinaan ko, a? Ayokong mag-nap, e."

        Junnie chuckled softly. "Nahahawa ka na rin kay Kuya Sandro? Ako nga rin, e. Kahapon nga, sabi ko sa jowa ko, I'll make sundo 'pag tapos na klase niya."

        Bumulanghit siya ng tawa. "Bakit? Cute naman, 'ha?"

        "'Pag pogi lang naman cute, Kuya. Kung 'di raw pogi magsasabi, cringe daw."

        Nangingiti siyang napailing sa kumentong iyon ng road manager.

        For the whole ride, Lee dozed off twice. Dalawang beses din siyang ginising ni Junnie. Habang ipinaparada ang van, napabuntonghininga siya. Charlotte sent him to pick some food for the staff. Napakarami tuloy ng bitbitin niyang plastic bags. Before getting off the vehicle, he sent a message to Charlotte. He also ruffled his hair, hoping for a messy yet casual look. When that didn't work, he sighed exasperatedly.

        Sa loob na lang siya magpapaayos.

        Napatunghay si Lee nang bumukas ang pinto ng van. Si Junnie iyon. Inabot niya rito ang ilan sa plastic bags. He and Junnie got off the van and went inside the building. They greeted every person they met as they went upstairs. Sa itaas daw kasi ang studio ayon kay Charlotte.

        True enough, everything has been set up when they arrived.

        A green fabric draped behind a white couch. In front of the couch was a wooden coffee table. Sa ibabaw naman ng mesa, may maliliit na paso ng halaman. Lee has never heard of a videocast before but seeing the setup made him understand what it was.

        Ang sabi kasi sa kanila ni Sandro, interview lang ang gagawin na ieere sa isang podcast. He wondered why he needed to get all dolled up.

        Kaya naman pala.

        May kasabay na video 'yong podcast na ila-livestream sa piling subscribers ng programa.

        "O, bakit nakatayo ka lang d'yan?" Nilingon niya ang pinanggalingan ng boses. "Sit down. Magpaayos ka. Ang gulo-gulo ng buhok mo." Charlotte grimaced before tugging his sleeve. Walang sabi-sabi siya nitong hinila papunta sa mga upuan.

        Itinulak nito paupo si Lee. "Wait lang, Manager." He showed her the plastic bags of food he picked up. "'Di mo ba sinabi do'n na ako kukuha? Napagalitan pa tuloy ako. They don't allow takeouts daw."

        "Weh? Pao told me na okay na. Kukunin na lang daw," sagot ng babae, nagpapalinga-linga. Nang mamataan si Junnie, sumenyas ito. "Pakibigay naman nito sa kanila," pakiusap nito habang nakanguso sa staff. Junnie immediately obliged.

        "Si Sandro pala, nasa'n na? 'Di ko pa siya nare-reply-an, e."

        "Present," sagot ng bagong-sulpot na si Sandro. He even raised his hand before plopping down the seat beside Lee. "I told you I'll be here 30 minutes before. You should've done the same."

        "Gano'n talaga 'pag 'di masyadong kailangan ayusan." Mayabang na pinagpagan ni Lee ang balikat. "Natural 'to, e."

        Sandro and Charlotte scrunched their noses in response.

        "Ang putla-putla mo kaya. Papalagyan kita ng blush, 'ha? If the light hits you later, baka lalo kang magmukhang bangkay," nakapameywang na sabi ni Charlotte.

        Lee leaned towards Sandro. Pansinin kasi ang shade ng tint nito sa pisngi. Hinawakan niya ang baba nito, pinaharap niya ang kaibigan sa manager. "Gusto ko 'tong shade nito pero kung may nude, ayon na lang para 'di halata na tint."

        Charlotte waved her hand dismissively. "I'll be back. Stay here. Hanapin ko si Ida. I liked what she did last time, tapos ikaw naman, Sandro—" She pointed at his white tank top. "—that looks plain. I'll see what I can do."

        "It's gonna be a leather jacket, I just know it," Sandro mumbled, watching Charlotte rummage through the pile of clothes. "I already told her na ang uncomfortable talaga but she always insists. You're lucky she doesn't dress you up."

        "Bakit ka kasi nagsando? Sinabihan na tayong kailangang professional o smart casual, tapos nagsando ka. P'wede ka namang mag-polo. Binuksan mo na lang sana 'yong butones."

        Sandro made a face. Ganoon naman ang sagot nito lagi kapag alam nitong tama siya. Sandro's concern was valid, though. Napakainit sa Pilipinas para magpaka-fashionista at magsuot ng leather jacket. Air conditioned naman 'yong studio pero hindi iyon sapat.

        Lumipas ang kalahating oras.

        Lee's decision to wear a turtleneck didn't do him any good. Slowly, he was feeling the urge to rip the fabric around his neck and stand in front of the aircon.

        A little bit later, the host arrived. Kapansin-pansin ang kulay dilaw nitong buhok. She definitely stayed true to her name, Lemon. Pati iyong bead anklet nito, kulay dilaw rin. Sinenyasan ni Lemon ang staff. Isa-isang lumabas ang makeup artists na baon ng iba pang guest.

        "Please, 'wag mong aalisin 'tong strands na humaharang sa mata mo. Wala akong pake kung feeling mo, mabubulag ka na sa kati. Style 'yan," bilin sa kanya ni Ida. "Tiis-ganda na lang, 'ha, Lee?"

        Chuckling, he nodded.

        Ilang minuto pa at sila-sila na lang ang naiwan. Bukod sa kanila, naiwan iyong mga in-charge sa livestream. Lalong lumamig. Lee breathed in deeply. He has guested for numerous times but it's always exhilarating. Lagi kasing may bagong tanong. No preparation could calm his nerves.

        Charlotte would try to ask for the questions beforehand but that almost never happens. Hindi rin kasi nasusunod. Laging may tanong na itatanong nang walang pasabi. Lee understood why, of course. Uhaw kasi sa intriga ang mga tao. Uhaw naman sa ratings ang karamihan ng shows.

        The pandemic only made the numbers game worse.

        Lee's career blossomed because of it, though. Nagkainteres lang naman sa kanya ang R/C Records dahil nag-trend iyong busking video niya kasama si Sandro. Biglaan pa nga iyon.

        Napatunghay si Lee nang mamataan si Charlotte. Sinenyasan siya nito. Tinawag niya ang katabing si Sandro. Together, they walked to the living room setup. They stayed out of the camera frame while waiting for Lemon to introduce them.

        "Hello, my lovies~" Lemon greeted the audience watching online. "I know naman na super init today so like I always say, stay hydrated. 'Di lang naman plants ang kailangan ng dilig, right?"

        A tech person played a sound effect. May tumunog at sumagot ng "right" sa tanong ni Lemon. Hindi naman napigilan ni Lee ang paghagikhik. Beside him, Sandro's shoulders were shaking from laughter, too.

        "First time makarinig ng green joke, tawang-tawa?" kunot-noong tanong ni Charlotte na lumitaw sa tabi ni Lee. "Anyway, you know the drill. Answer everything honestly. Kung masyadong personal, make it vague or intriguing. 'Yong pa-showbiz, a?"

        Tumango lang sila ni Sandro bilang sagot.

        Mayamaya, nilapitan sila ng director. "Bale ipapakilala kayo ni Lemon pero dapat nakaupo na kayo bago matapos 'yong spiel niya, okay? And then, ipa-pan sa inyo 'yong camera right after niya kayo tawagin so dapat, ready na kayo sa couch by then. Gets?"

        "Gets po," Lee answered with a smile.

        "You know him from that TikTok video, 'yong may paiyak-iyak while strumming the guitar—" Lemon even pouted while fanning her face excitedly. Lee couldn't help but sigh. Hindi naman mali si Lemon, e. It was how most people learned about him. "—we have Simeon Lee today and fresh from his album launch last night, Sandro Tan of R/C Records!"

        Before Lemon could finish her sentence, Lee and Sandro walked briskly to the couch. Sandro sat comfortably. Ipinatong nito ang kanang braso sa arm chair. Lee, on the other hand, casually crossed his legs. The second he noticed the camera pointing directly at them, he flashed the sweetest smile he could muster.

        Behind the cameraman, he caught a glimpse of Charlotte giving them a thumbs-up.

        "Just so you know, my lovies, nando'n ako sa launch kagabi. Yes, mainggit kayo because invited ako," mayabang na panimula ni Lemon. "Super thank you nga pala sa invitation last night, 'ha? I really enjoyed, kasi ngayon ko na lang ulit na-experience 'yong live music."

        "You're welcome," Sandro answered before smiling, charming Lemon off of her yellow wedge heels. "Thank you for celebrating with us last night. And yeah, live music is different. I really missed seeing everyone's reactions live."

        "S'yempre, ako, obviously, agree din ako d'yan," nakangiting sagot ni Lee. "Kapag kanta lang kasi – sorry in advance sa mga pupuna sa Twitter, ha-ha – ang dali niyang pakinggan habang kumakain ka o nag-aaral. Pero kapag live, mas immersive siya, e. Wala ka kasing choice kun'di maging in the moment. Actually, 'yon din 'yong usapan namin kagabi."

        Lemon hummed in agreement. "Wait, para sa mga nagtataka kung bakit napaka-in sync nilang sumagot, it's because they met in college. I'm right, right?"

        Pinindot ulit ng tech person iyong sound effect.

        "Sumali ako sa banda nila no'ng Battle of the Bands, tapos 'di ko na siya ulit kinausap kasi sabi ko, ang pogi masyado, e," pagbibiro ni Lee na ikinatawa ni Lemon. "'Di, joke lang, uh, pero medyo totoo 'yon. Sumali ako sa banda nila pero 'di kami naging close. Iba course niya, e."

        Sandro nodded. "He's the artsy kid. I was a bit gago back then, so I didn't really think of approaching him. We got to reconnect after college, though, and here we are."

        "I find that hard to believe, pero sige." Lemon snorted a laugh. "So going back to your album, 'Breakthrough', it's your second self-written album na, right?"

        "Right," matipid na sagot ni Sandro.

        Tumipid at lumiit din ang ngiti ni Lee. Alam na kasi niya ang kasunod niyon.

        "Very halimaw, 'no, lovies? Balak pa yatang talunin ang Patron Saint of Productivity nating si Mother Taylor," humahalakhak na sabi ng host. Sinundan iyon ng laughing track. "So just to be clear, all the songs in Breakthrough ay ikaw ang composer, right?"

        May sound effect ulit. This time, it was applause.

        Sandro smiled sheepishly. "Well, yes, I wrote all of them but I had help din naman. Producing an album needs a lot of work kasi. It's why I'm very grateful to R/C Records and of course, to Lee. If he didn't agree to sing on 'In Your World', I'm sure I wouldn't reach 50,000 streams online."

        Lee smiled awkwardly when Lemon turned to him. "My lovies has been pestering me to ask. You haven't released a self-written album, right? Sorry for asking pero ako rin kasi, personally, 'di na ako makapaghintay. Are there any plans in the future? Baka naman may niluluto na pala kayo in the background."

        Lee shifted in his seat. Walang malay rin niyang hinila ang telang yumayakap sa leeg niya. He glanced behind the cameraman. Charlotte mouthed "sorry". Napabuntonghininga na lang siya. "Yep, kasama naman 'yon sa plano. Never namang nawala 'yon."

        "If it's okay, just to satisfy my fangirling, may particular reason ba kung bakit? Or sadyang wala lang sa cards right now?" Napamaang siya sa kaprangkahan ng tanong. He didn't expect it would pop so soon. "Because active ako sa Twitter, e, and there are speculations na ayaw mo pang sundan 'yong song mo sa trending video mo."

        Lee didn't expect that one at all. Nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Hindi naman niya kasi alam na ganoon pala siya kahalata. Charlotte always told him he was good in dodging questions. Binobola lang pala siya nito.

        Tumikhim si Lemon. Charlotte must have gestured her to cut it out. "I know this is personal, pero never pa kasi 'tong natanong sa 'yo, ha-ha. I was gonna ask sana about the video. Almost two years na since that went viral, pero wala pa ring nakakaalam kung bakit ka umiiyak back then. My question is, obviously, why?"

        Lee swallowed hard. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. Wala namang tamang sagot kaya hindi siya p'wedeng magkamali. P'wede rin siyang magsinungaling pero parang wala namang sapat na dahilan. He just didn't know whether he should divulge.

        Actually, there wasn't anything to divulge. Alam naman ng lahat na ex niya ang iniiyakan niya roon.

        What everyone else doesn't know was that that trending video happened on the day of their supposed 4th anniversary.

        "Okay, alam kong open secret na 'to pero—" natatawang sabi ni Lee. "—yes, ex ko 'yong iniiyakan ko do'n sa video. Ayon lang sasabihin ko, ha-ha."

        Agad na namilog ang mga mata ni Lemon. "Kilig naman ako na dito sa 'Lemon's Aid for You' mo unang in-admit 'yan. So are there any upcoming releases or projects that we should watch out for?"

        Lee bit the inside of his cheek. Mukhang walang balak na tumigil si Lemon hangga't wala siyang binibitiwang malamang sagot. Isa pa, hindi naman sa ayaw niyang sumulat. He just couldn't.

        There was a huge difference between the two.

        "Lee?" Sandro elbowed him. "You can just say 'maybe'."

        Thankfully, the boom mic wasn't close enough to catch that. Lee didn't want to say 'maybe', though. Matagal naman na nilang plano ni Charlotte iyong paggawa ng music video. Fans also showed excitement despite nothing being confirmed.

        He looked at Charlotte before smiling apologetically.

        Pagkatapos niyon, bumaling siyang muli kay Lemon. "Sa totoo lang, matagal na naming balak gawan ng music video 'yong 'Iyo'. Malay natin, two or three months from now, magulat na lang tayo na may countdown na sa YouTube."

        Lee swore he heard Charlotte curse in the background. Nang umirit si Lemon, wala na siyang nagawa kun'di ngumiti. They were on a livestream. Kahit bawiin niya ang sinabi, may screen recording nang p'wedeng isampal sa kanya.

        The next set of questions reverted back to Sandro's album and then finally, their collaboration track. Lee and Sandro invited everyone to stream the song. Saglit ding ikinuwento ni Sandro kung papaano siya nito napapayag. Nang matapos ang interview, sinenyasan silang lumapit ni Charlotte.

        Inabutan sila nito ng tig-isang baso ng kape. After that, she linked arms with them and dragged them outside the room.

        Lee was about to check his phone when Charlotte twisted his right ear. Mahina siyang napadaing. Sinulyapan niya ang katabing si Sandro. Like Charlotte, he looked annoyed. Lee tried to hold his complaints about Lemon. Alam naman niya kung bakit naiinis sa kanya ang dalawa.

        Hinaplos niya ang tainga nang pakawalan iyon ni Charlotte. "I'm sorry," buntonghininga niyang sabi. "Nainis lang naman ako. Ayaw niya kasing tigilan, e. Obvious namang 'di ako comfortable sa tanong."

        "Para ka namang bago nang bago. You know that's what she wants. Binigay mo naman." Pumalatak si Charlote. She faced Sandro afterward. "Ikaw naman, you didn't even try to stop him?"

        Sandro rolled his eyes before sipping his coffee. "What was I supposed to do? I was caught off guard din naman."

       "Mas matagal ka kaysa dito." Ngumuso ang babae sa direksyon ni Lee. "You know how this works. Sana man lang, tinapik mo balikat nito. You could've shut Lemon up. I told her countless time na 'wag niyang itatanong 'yong about sa ex n—"

        Her rant was interrupted by her phone. Upon seeing the caller ID, she sighed. Napapadyak ito sa inis bago sagutin iyon.

        "They signed you five months after me," Sandro mumbled. "Why should I be responsible for you?"

        Lee chuckled. Kaagad niyang nilunok ang tawa nang mapansing salubong ang makakapal na kilay ni Sandro. "Sorry na. Napingot ka pa tuloy dahil sa 'kin."

        "What's pingot nga ulit?"

        "'Lika, i-demo ko sa 'yo."

        Bago pa niya mauto si Sandro, natanaw na nila si Charlotte. She was scrolling through her phone as she approached them. A confused look was on her face. Bumuga ito ng hangin. "So that was Sir Ryan. Pinapatingnan niya sa 'kin 'yong trend list."

        "Why?" tanong ni Sandro habang hinuhubad ang leather jacket. "Did they make a reaction meme of us again?"

        She shook her head. "See for yourselves." She showed them her phone after that.

        For a moment, Lee didn't get what she wanted them to see. Segundo ang lumipas bago niya napansin ang nasa top 10: "music video".

        "I still have to go there and talk to the management but this certainly helps our case. May demand na, e. We just need to properly supply them," nangingiting sabi ni Charlotte.

        Parang nabingi si Lee sa narinig. "Ha?"

        He didn't know what to say or feel first. Halo-halo kasi. Matagal na nilang pinag-uusapan ang patungkol sa music video ng "Iyo". The only problem has always been time. Laging natataong may kailangang unahin ang management. Kada magkakaroon naman ng meeting, siya naman itong tinatamad o walang gana.

        This was probably the first time when everyone seemed to be on the same page.

        "Bro, aren't you excited?" tanong sa kanya ni Sandro.

        Humigpit ang hawak ni Lee sa baso ng kape. "Oo naman," sagot niya.

        Smiling, he watched as Charlotte rambled ideas for the pitch meeting. Maraming beses siyang napabuntonghininga. Inalis niya ang plastic ng straw. He stabbed the straw into the cup. As the coffee touched his lips, his brows furrowed.

        He felt his stomach churn, too.

        Lee quickly finished the coffee. He stared at the logo decorating the cup. Isang malaking letter "C" iyon na nakapatong sa kulay brown na bilog. Muling humigpit ang hawak niya sa baso. Iced coffee lang naman iyon. It shouldn't have made him inhale sharply.

        It shouldn't have distracted him from his fear but it did. Oddly enough, it comforted him, too.#