❝Even from a distance, Laurie shouldn't let him affect her.❞

— ❁ —

        SQUINTING, LAURIE raised her sunglasses. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel afterward. Tanaw na kasi niya si Theo. Patawid pa lang ito ng intersection. As the lights turned green, she stepped on the gas pedal. She beeped the horn when Theo came into view. Nang tumunghay ito sa kanya ay kumaway siya.

        "Get in," Laurie told Theo. She opened the door for him, too. Parang bata lang kasi itong tumitig kahit ilang segundo na niya itong pinalalapit. "Sabi mo, may reservation tayo."

        He glanced at the café nearby. "I thought you wanted to check things first."

        Sa Cafuné sila dapat magkikita. Laurie wanted to make sure Malie could handle things alone before drifting away with Theo. Actually, she didn't want to go with him in the first place. Ang kaso, huling-huli ng kababata ang kiliti niya. Sinabihan siya nitong "business" ang ipupunta nila sa bagong-bukas na restaurant.

        Theo suggested they check the food out. She and Malie have been discussing adding items to the menu so she figured why not. Wala namang masamang kumuha ng idea o inspiration.

        It's how most things are birthed anyway.

        "I did but Mal assured me she can manage. Besides, wala namang tao ng ganitong oras."

        "You rarely have busy days, Laurie," seryoso nitong sabi bago humawak sa pinto ng sasakyan.

        Tahimik niyang hinintay na makaupo si Theo. The second he fastened his seat belt, she glared at him. "That was foul."

        "Oh, I'm sorry," he mumbled while pulling down his sleeves.

        Theo sounded sarcastic but Laurie knew he didn't mean to. Hindi naman nito kasalanang homeschooled ito hanggang high school. He probably picked up his unintentional sarcastic tone from her and Stefan. Sila-sila lang naman ang magkakasama, e.

        That was until college, of course. Theo and Stefan studied business abroad. Naiwan si Laurie sa Pilipinas. Nakapasok naman siya sa isa sa top universities. All in all, it was an interesting experience.

        "It's fine." She glanced at the side-view mirror before switching gears. "Bakit may bag ka? You brought your laptop?"

        "I have some editing to do later. Is it okay if you drop me off at the studio? I left my car there."

        Laurie nodded. "On the way naman. It's okay."

        While driving, she resisted the urge to turn the radio on. She just didn't want to be caught off guard. Baka may marinig siyang magpasama ng mood niya, e. Halos kalahating oras din siyang nagmaneho bago niya matanaw iyong restaurant na sinasabi ni Theo.

        In white LED lights, the name spelled "Alejandro's".

        Before parking, she glanced at Theo. Kandong nito ang laptop. Hindi na yata nakapaghintay na simulan ang pag-eedit. She snapped her fingers. "If you're planning to work, do it inside. Pumasok muna tayo. You promised to buy me food."

        Theo gaped at her. Nagtaka yata sa paninitang ginawa niya. "I didn't say I'm treating you. Ang sabi ko lang, libre ang pagkain."

        Laurie peeked through the window, checking for a parking spot. "Doesn't matter. Anyway—" Inikot niya ang manibela habang sumusulyap sa side-mirror. Nang makahanap ng bakante, iminaniobra niya ang sasakyan. "—pang-ilang branch na nila 'to?"

        "I think it's the tenth or fifteenth?" sagot nito habang inaalis ang lock ng seat belt.

        "You're such a kid, sometimes," kumento niya. Hindi kasi matanggal ni Theo ang lock. Laurie leaned over to free him from his seat belt, then pointed at his laptop. "Ibalik mo muna 'yan sa bag. You can work after we eat."

        "Okay," was all Theo could say.

        Laurie turned the engine off and Theo got off the car. Nang maiwang mag-isa, ibinaba niya ang sun visor. Kinuha niya ang nude lip tint sa purse niya. She swiped on the top of her lip before deciding to follow Theo. He had his hands in the pockets of his beige slacks. As usual, he waited for her by the entrance.

        Laurie chuckled to herself. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Binilisan niya ang paglalakad. Dahil sa nakapapasong init ng araw, pinayungan niya ang sarili gamit ang puti niyang purse. Lalong nalukot ang noo niya nang mapansing may mga babaeng nagbabalak na lumapit kay Theo.

        Sighing, Laurie flipped her shoulder-length hair and slipped between Theo and the girls. Tahasan siyang kumapit sa kanang braso ng lalaki. "Let's go," anunsyo niya bago ito igiya papasok.

        Saglit siyang iniwan ni Theo para kumpirmahin ang reservation. While walking to their table, she glanced at the girls. They glared at her, prompting Laurie to smile sweetly.

        Binalak siyang ipaghila ng upuan ni Theo. "I can manage," she declared.

        Before sitting down, Laurie tightened the belt strapped across her waist. Dahil may belt ang suot niyang bestida, lalong lumantad ang balingkinitan niyang katawan. Pinanipis at pinatanda rin niyon ang mukha niya. Lalo siyang nagmukhang mataray. No wonder those girls scurried off.

        Theo settled down. Kaagad nitong inilabas ang laptop.

        Napailing na lang si Laurie. "I told you to eat first. Nag-breakfast ka ba bago ka umalis?" Inilapag ng server ang menu sa ibabaw ng mesa. She quickly scanned their breakfast menu.

        Hindi na naman siya inimik ng kasama. Laurie wasn't really the talkative type. Kay Malie na kasi ang role na iyon. However, when she's with Theo, she couldn't help but talk and fill in the silence.

        "Theo." Once again, she snapped her fingers. Wala pa rin. Parang naka-glue na ang mga mata nito sa laptop. Sinenyasan niya ang waiter. "We'll have the special honey waffles, red velvet pancakes, and crêpes Suzette. For the drinks, hmm, cinnamon coffee, caramel macchiato, and a glass of water will do. Thank you."

        Pag-alis ng waiter, nilibot niya ng tingin ang restaurant.

        The interior looked so posh. Both the high ceiling and floors were made of fine marble. Chandeliers cascaded on every table. Halos kapareho ng overall look ng café nila ni Malie. The only difference was the counter. Ang sa Alejandro's kasi ay purong black marble. Sa Cafuné naman, white marble ang katawan ng counters habang kahoy naman ang ibabaw.

        Alejandro's looked modern while their café felt comfy and warm. Mas nakalalamang din ang Cafuné sa natural light dahil sa matataas nitong bintanang salamin.

        "I'm not eating all of that," Theo mumbled. Saka lang ata nito napagtantong napakarami ng order niya.

        "You brought me here to check their menu. Of course, I'm going to try everything I can."

        "Why did you order coffee, though? 'Di mo naman iinumin."

        "You do it for me. Magta-try ulit kasi kami ulit ni Mal mamaya. She told me not to drink coffee so I don't palpitate later."

        Tumango-tango si Theo. "So that's why you're jumpy. You haven't had your coffee fix."

        As soon as the food started coming out, Theo closed his laptop. Muli nito iyong ibinalik sa bag. Si Laurie naman, tumigil sa pagme-message kay Malie. Una niyang tinikman ang crêpes. She took the fork and sliced a bite. Immediately, she regretted it.

        Masyado kasing matamis.

        "They shouldn't have made the crêpes too sweet. It's overkill. Caramelized sugar na 'to, e," bulong niya habang nakatitig sa syrup na nagsilbing sabaw ng crêpes. "Hindi ka ba kakain?"

        "It's rude to eat before the whole party arrives."

        Laurie's forehead furrowed upon hearing Theo's cryptic remark.

        Agad naman iyong nalutas nang maaninag niya ang paparating na lalaki.

        Clad in a 3-piece-suit, the man approached them. Hinubad nito ang blazer habang lumalakad. Pagkatapos ay isinabit nito iyon sa kanang braso. Laurie swore she heard some women in the restaurant gasp. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. Pati kasi iyong mga tita'ng katabi nila, naghahampasan na ng braso.

        "Can't believe you didn't invite me, little sis," nakangusong sabi sa kanya ng bagong-dating.

        Laurie scrunched her nose. "You're eleven seconds older. It doesn't count, Steffie." Iritable niyang tinusok ang kapirasong crêpe. "Bakit ka nandito?" tanong niya, sabay buga ng hanging.

        "Oh, Theo didn't tell you." Stefan hung his blazer on the chair. Sa tabi ni Theo ito umupo. Kaya naman pala pang-apat katao ang mesang naka-reserve. "I bribed him with lenses," her brother declared proudly.

        She shot Theo a questioning look. Saglit itong tumunghay mula sa laptop bago nag-iwas ng tingin.

        "So why are you here?" tanong niya sa kapatid. Pinagkrus niya ang mga braso sa ibabaw ng dibdib. "Sinabi ko na sa 'yo. Malie is not interested and even if she is, I'm not losing her to you."

        "That's not really why I'm here." Stefan grabbed a spoon. Iyong plato ng honey pancakes ang kinuha nito. While munching, he made some hand gestures that were too random to understand.

        Napailing na lang si Laurie. She glanced at the plates on the table. She barely tried anything. Annoyed, she grabbed the pancakes from him. Kaagad siyang kumuha ng kapiraso. Sunod niyang inabot iyong baso ng caramel macchiato na katabi ng kapatid. Sumimsim siya.

        She thought of the same thing. Masyadong matamis.

        "Bakit ba nagmamadali ka?" naguguluhang tanong ni Stefan. "We barely see each other."

        Laurie ran her fingers through her wavy hair. Nahulog at tumakip lang ulit ang ilang hibla sa mga mata niya. "Alam mo naman kung bakit. Besides, if I wanted to see you, I would look in the mirror."

        He only chuckled in amusement. He, then, crossed his legs under the table and leaned in. Pumangalumbaba ito para lalo siyang matingnan sa mata. "Alam mo naman yata kung bakit ako nandito. Although, I suggest you hear me out first."

        "No, thank you," she mumbled before reaching for the table napkin. With it, she wiped her mouth. "Kailangan ko na rin namang bumalik sa café. Malie needs me."

        Stefan sighed. He actually looked concerned. Kumunot ang noo niya dahil doon. Her brother never expressed that emotion so openly before. "The café has been struggling, right?"

        Muli niyang hinawi ang buhok. Sumulyap siya kay Theo'ng tumitipa ng kung ano sa laptop. He probably didn't want to be dragged in their family drama. The thought annoyed Laurie even more. Kung wala naman pala kasi itong balak na maipit sa kanila ni Stefan, sana hindi na lang siya nito in-ambush. Theo also shouldn't have spilled the café's current status.

        Stefan cleared his throat. "Theo didn't tell me anything, okay? The pandemic just ended, Lau. Understandable naman 'yong situation niyo. If you ask me, you need all the help you can get."

        "And that includes Dad, right?" She crossed her arms again. "Like I said, it's a no."

        "He wants to help, Laurine."

        She scoffed. "I don't want his help."

        "Sure, but do you really have a choice?" he asked nonchalantly.

        In most of her memories of asking for help, her father said no. Noong tinanong niya ito patungkol sa nanay nila, ganoon din. Hindi. 'Wag na raw alalahanin ang wala na. Laurie ended up taking things into her own hands which of course, snowballed into a series of unfortunate and heartbreaking events.

        Stefan drank the cinnamon coffee and grimaced. The cinnamon taste was probably overpowering. Ganoon naman kadalasan ang spices. She and Malie tried countless times before perfecting their blend. "Pinapa-rent niyo na 'yong café, 'di ba?" tanong ni Stefan.

        Tumango siya. "What about it?"

        "One of Dad's friends needs a venue," he said slowly.

        "For what?" she asked, crossing her legs under the table. "Wala ba silang conference room?"

        "It's for a baby shower."

        Laurie groaned. "Whose baby shower?"

        Stefan took the plate of crêpes. Muli itong napangiwi habang ngumunguya. "Hindi ko kilala, e. I think it's Greta, Tito Leon's youngest. You remember him, right? Siya 'yong maraming coffee farm sa Cavite. Get in his good graces and you might strike a better deal with him."

        "I was there when Dad made us sit in their meeting, Steffie. 'Di mo na kailangan pang sabihin 'yan."

        Natawa ito nang mahina. "Is that a 'yes'? Ready naman na raw lahat. The decoration, motif, and everything. Venue na lang talaga kailangan nila. Nagkasakit daw kasi 'yong—"

        "I don't really care," putol niya sa sinasabi ng kapatid. "Anyway, I'm saying maybe. Tatanungin ko muna si Malie. Kung baby shower, puro finger food ang kailangan. Send me the contact details. I'll think of something."

        "Okay," tipid nitong sagot.

        Tinupi ni Laurie ang table napkin. "Just so you know, I'm only considering because of Malie."

        "Wala naman akong sinabi," pakantang sabi ni Stefan, parang nang-aasar.

        Bago pa makaimik si Laurie, bumaling ito sa kabilang table. He actually waved and winked at one of the customers. She snapped her fingers in front of Theo. "P'wede bang mag-take out dito?"

        Theo looked around. "Why? Are we leaving already?"

        "No, I'm leaving. You betrayed me today. D'yan—" Sinulyapan niya ang katabi nitong si Stefan. "—ka magpahatid. Bye."

        With that, Laurie stood up. Sinadya niyang diniinan ang bawat hakbang para lumakas ang tunog ng white high heels niya. She just felt empowered whenever she hears her heels clacking. Clutching her purse, she approached the door. Pinasalamatan niya iyong nagbukas niyon para sa kanya. Umihip ang hangin, dahilan upang tumakip ang ilang hibla ng buhok sa mukha niya.

        Ikinawit niya ang mga iyon sa kaliwa niyang tainga.

        Humahakbang na si Laurie papunta sa kotse nang may mapansin. Some guy wearing a face mask walked briskly toward the glass doors. She felt her stomach churn. Still, she decided to heed her gut feeling. Bumalik siya sa restaurant. Ilang hakbang lang naman, e. Balak din naman niyang mag-take out para kay Malie, sakaling p'wede.

        Tahimik niyang pinagalitan ang sarili. There was no need to justify anything. Hindi pa naman siya sigurado. Nakasuot ng face mask iyong lalaki, e.

        Sa halip na dumiretso sa loob, sumilip muna siya sa pinto.

        Isang turtleneck ang pang-itaas ng lalaking nakatayo sa counter. He wore a baseball cap and a pair of denim pants, too. Laurie felt her knees weaken. That still wasn't a confirmation, though. Ilang beses na ring nangyari ang ganoon; na may makikita siyang kapareho ng lakad o bulto nito.

        Maraming beses na siyang nanginig at pinagpawisan nang malamig. Everytime she got stuck in traffic and some guy on a bicycle happen to stop beside her, her breathing hitches.

        Laurie sighed exasperatedly. She was about to leave when something unexpected happened. May tumawag doon sa lalaki. Nagmamadali itong yumuko at inalis ang face mask. Nang tumunghay ito para basahin ang menu'ng nakapaskil sa itaas ng counter, matalim na napasinghap si Laurie.

        "Fuck."

        It was him, Laurie's biggest failure. She bit the inside of her cheek. Diniinan niya. She needed to confirm whether she was dreaming or not.

        Trusting her instincts, Laurie walked towards a huge ornamental plant nearby. Hinawakan niya ang mahahabang dahon niyon. Inayos niya para magkaroon ng puwang at makita niya ito sa unang pagkakataon, limang taon na ang nakalilipas.

        Huminga siya nang malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili.

        He looked odd. He looked different and familiar at the same time. If her memory served her right, he also disliked altering his appearance or personality for others.

        He wasn't the people-pleasing type but people seemed to like him just fine.

        He also looked pissed. Siguro, napilitan lang itong pumunta sa restaurant. He always thought of places like Alejandro's as pretentious. To be fair, he was right.

        Pinagkrus ni Laurie ang mga braso sa ibabaw ng dibdib.

        "Ma'am, pasok po ba kayo?" tanong sa kanya ng guard.

        "Uh, no, so—" She stuttered. "—sorry."

        Laurie hastily wiped the corner of her eyes, refusing to acknowledge his effect on her that remained after years of not seeing that stupid grin he gave the waiter. Siya naman ang nang-iwan. Ni wala nga siyang malinaw na dahilan na binitiwan. After leaving him, she was robbed of the right to let him make her feel that way.

        Even from a distance, Laurie shouldn't let him affect her.

        Nagmamadali siyang lumakad papunta sa sasakyan. Ramdam niya na kasi, e. She unlocked her car, then shut the door behind her. She felt like she was being choked by her own tears; by the universe. Malalim siyang bumuntonghininga. Sunod-sunod. Maraming ulit. Isinubsob niya ang ulo sa manibela.

        "Fuck," Laurie exclaimed again upon seeing him walk out of the restaurant. Marami itong bitbit na plastic bags sa magkabilang kamay. Mukhang nagmamadali. Kaagad kasi itong sumakay sa isang itim na van. She exhaled, feeling relieved.

        Apart from relief, there was this heavy feeling in her chest the second he drove away. Pinanuod niya ang papalayong van. Nagsimulang manubig at lumabo ang mga mata niya. Still, she watched him disappear from her view just like she did that night.

        When she was finally sure that he was gone, Laurie let go of the tears she's been holding in. To drown out her sobs, she turned the car radio on.

        "Don't miss our guests later, my lovies! Simeon Lee and Sandro Tan of R/C Records will be here para makipagkulitan~"

        Laurie felt like vomiting. Wala naman siyang masyadong kinain pero biglang sumama ang tiyan niya. Her crying probably tempted fate. With her sleeve, she aggressively wiped her tears. She cried more than enough. Isa pa, tanghaling tapat, e. Napakataas pa ng araw para pumalahaw siya ng iyak.

        Somehow, crying in broad daylight felt a lot more pathetic than the other times.#