❝It was as if the world knew that she was about to break a pair of hearts – hers and his.❞

— ❁ —

        LAURIE BALLED her hands into fists before inserting them into the pockets of the jacket she wore. It wasn't hers yet it felt disgustingly warm. Sinalungat niyon ang mahamog na hanging tumutusok sa balat niya. Nilingon niya ang kasama. Malawak itong ngumiti. Sinang-ayunan niyon ang liwanag ng mga nagbibigay-lilim na poste ng ilaw.

       Napalabi si Laurie. Lalo niyang ikinuyom ang mga kamao. Ibinalik niya ang tingin sa nilalakaran.

       "Uy, Lau," tawag sa kanya ni Lee. Binilisan nito ang lakad para makasabay sa kanya. Dumaplis ang kaliwa nitong siko sa kanan niya. Sinadya yata. Gumana naman. He caught her attention like he always has.

        Lumunok si Laurie. Nang mapagtantong hindi iyon sapat para makumbinsi ang sarili na tama ang naging desisyon, idiniin niyang lalo ang pagkakuyom ng mga kamay. Her nails digging into her palms provided a bit of a distraction. It was too late when she realized Lee pulled her to the side.

        He reached into the pocket of the jacket and gently held her hand. "Anong problema? May masakit ba sa 'yo?"

        She couldn't meet his eyes but she knew. Alam niyang nakararamdam na ito. Muli siyang napalunok nang ilabas nito mula sa jacket ang kanang kamao niya. Bahagya siyang nanginig nang humangin. She didn't realize her palms were sweating coldly.

        Lee, despite seeming clueless, unclenched her fist. "Laurie," he called her again.

        Laurie refused to acknowledge how the palm of his hand felt like a flame against the coldness of hers. Rough but warm. Harsh but tender.

        Everyone was puzzled when she chose him over the university's MVP.

        Laurie was the popular girl. Girls in the university were either afraid or jealous of her. Takot ang karamihan dahil sa kablangkuhan ng mga mata niyang singkit. Inggit naman ang iba dahil sa kung ano-anong business ventures ng daddy niya.

        Pati iyong miyembro ng varsity na binasted niya, ganoon din ang tanong: bakit si Lee na tagabigay lang ng baso ng tubig sa team?

       To that night, Laurie didn't know. Or maybe she knew the correct answer. She just didn't want to solidify it. Lalo lang siyang mahihirapan kung aaminin niya sa sarili na tinamaan siya nang malala kay Simeon Lee Aguirre. She was about to end it anyway.

        Imposibleng hindi niya pa alam.

        Hindi ito sinipot ni Laurie noong umaga. Magkakape dapat sila doon sa tiglilimang pisong vending machine sa may Fine Arts building. They were supposed to meet for breakfast and lunch, too. Pag-uusapan nila dapat ang paparating na graduation ball. Noong nakaraang taon kasi, hindi sila pumunta sa annual party. It was a rave party. It wasn't their scene.

        Tuloy ay napadpad sila noon sa Tagaytay. They ate bulalo and some cake. Nagkape rin sila habang isa-isang tinatawanan ang posts ng batchmates nilang pumunta sa rave party.

        Both Lee and Laurie were the gig-hopping, café-hopping, slow-dancing to live bands type. It's probably one of the reasons why she liked him more than she thought she would. Pareho kasi nilang hindi hilig iyong mga kantang nakapagpapatibok ng sahig ng venue. Bitbit din siya ng boyfriend kada may busking o gig ito.

        Malakas na tumibok ang puso ni Laurie nang maramdaman niya ang palad ni Lee sa noo niya. Naiba pa nga yata nito ang ritmo ng puso niya. Parang may nalaktawan. Saglit din atang nakalimot. "Wala ka namang lagnat," bulong ng boyfriend. "Inis ka pa ba kay Chloe?"

        Laurie shook her head. "It's something else."

        Lee rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, prompting her to finally meet his stare. Nang magsalubong ang mga mata nila, saka lang napansin ni Laurie ang lukot nitong noo. "Ano ngang problema?"

        He didn't sound mad or annoyed at her silence. If anything, he sounded soft, even softer than the tone he uses whenever people approach him after busking. Sa sobrang lambot ng tono at ekspresyon nito sa mukha, parang gusto nang bawiin ni Laurie ang balak sabihin, hindi pa man niya iyon nabibitiwan.

        "Lau, may masakit ba sa 'yo?"

        She slowly let go of Lee's hand. After that, she took his jacket off. Hinawakan niya ang kuwelyo niyon. "Here," tipid niyang sabi. Walang imik niyang inabot ang ipinahiram na jacket ng boyfriend. Walang imik din siyang nangamba. Baka kasi kumapit sa kanya ang amoy nitong magkahalong citrus at vanilla.

        Baka manatili ang amoy ni Lee sa kanya hanggang sa makauwi siya. Hanggang sa makatulog at mapagod siya kaiiyak.

        Nag-aalangang tinanggap ni Lee ang jacket. "O, bakit? Malayo pa tayo sa inyo," nakatawa nitong sabi. "Kanina ka pa kaya nanginginig. Alam mong p'wede mo namang ibalik bukas, 'di ba?"

        Laurie exhaled shakily. She felt like melting, too. Wala na kasing bukas. At least, not for them, anyway. "Lee." Halos hindi niya marinig ang sarili. Nakabibingi kasi ng tibok ng puso niya. Maingay din ang kalsada, maraming bumubusina. Pakiramdam niya, sinisigawan at pinagagalitan siya ng mundo.

        "Bakit?"

        Parang karayom ang mahamog na hangin kung humalik. Parang nangungumbinsi na walang magandang patutunguhan ang bibitiwang desisyon ni Laurie.

        Suddenly, everything stopped. Everything stayed silent. Leaves from nearby trees rustled. Saglit na tumahimik ang kalsada. Parang naglahong bigla ang sunod-sunod na huni ng makina.

        Muling umihip ang hangin. Muli ring huminga nang malalim si Laurie. Bumuwelo.

        Tila isang malaking drum ang pinalo ng kung sino. Tila isang drum ang dumagundong at nagbigay sa kanya ng saglit na katahimikan. Isang saglit na bintana ng pagkakataon ang nagbukas para masabi niya kay Lee ang dapat na sabihin.

        Laurie smiled bitterly. Para kasing alam ng mundo. It was as if the world knew she was about to break a pair of hearts – hers and his.

        "Let's break up."

—

        LEE'S PHONE vibrated the whole time. He didn't bother stopping by the side of the road, though. He just kept pedaling. Malamang kasi ay galing lang iyon sa mga kaklase niyang pumunta sa graduation ball.

        The lights turned red. Pinihit niya ang preno ng bisikleta. Habang hinihintay ang pagkulay berde ng mga ilaw, inayos niya ang nakasukbit na gitara sa likod. Dalawa ang plastic bag na nakatali sa manibela ng bike.

        One had a small bouquet. Most were roses. The other bag sheltered two cups of hot coffee. Lee grimaced. He almost let go of the grip to anxiously run his fingers through his hair. Hindi niya kasi napansing natapon pala ang kape sa loob ng plastic.

        The lights blinked green. Lee pedaled again. Hindi niya pinansin ang malakarayom na paghalik ng hangin sa mukha niya, pati ang pagtagos niyon sa suot niyang jacket.

        Huminto lang siya noong matapat siya sa kulay pulang gate nina Laurie. Kaagad niyang pinarada ang bisikleta. Kinuha at binitbit din niya ang plastic bags. After that, he got off the bike, fished his phone out of his shorts, and checked the time.

        Maaga pa. Sigurado siyang gising pa ang girlfriend. Nevertheless, he looked up to check. There was a faint orange hue seeping through one of the windows.

        Lee sighed – probably from relief or fear. Kumpirmado na kasing gising pa si Laurie. That, however, didn't guarantee anything. He tiptoed to peek through the gate. Napangiwi siya nang masilip ang garahe.

        Nakaparada na kasi iyong sasakyan ng daddy ni Laurie. Usually, her father arrives around 1 AM so maybe it was just Lee's bad luck. May balat ata siya sa pwet at nasaktong nakauwi na ang daddy ni Laurie kung kailan siya tinubuan ng tapang para humingi ng paliwanag.

        Napasuklay sa buhok si Lee. He glanced at Laurie's window again. The lights were still on.

        "Bahala na," he mumbled.

        Instead of his initial plan of singing and making a grand gesture, Lee decided to call Laurie. Her phone rang for a few seconds. When she didn't answer, he checked her window again. The curtains remained shut. Gayunpaman, may naaninag siyang anino. Lalo niyong pinadilim ang malamlam nang ilaw.

        Pinagpatuloy niya ang pagtawag at pag-dial. In the first place, he wasn't sure whether she would talk to him. Still, he couldn't graduate without even trying again. Inilabas niya ang gitara mula sa bag. He, then, set his phone to speakerphone. While listening to Laurie's phone ringing, he tuned the guitar.

        Minutes passed. Whenever the call ended, Lee just dialed again. He sat by the curb in front of Laurie's house. Sumalampak siya roon sa kongkreto. Tinabihan niya iyong supot ng bouquet at mga kape. Kandong din niya ang gitara.

        "Ringing" pa rin ang nakalagay. Akmang papatayin na niya ang tawag nang sumagot si Laurie.

        "Lau?" Bumuga siya ng hangin. "Sinagot mo ba talaga or napindot lang?" biro niya. "Never mind. 'Di mo kailangang sagutin 'yon. Uh, anyway, hi."

        Lee began strumming the guitar. Nilapit niya roon ang phone. Paulit-ulit siyang lumunok at suminghot habang kinakapa ang kantang balak sa gitara. Ang "Makapiling Ka" ng Sponge Cola. It was the last song he performed back when they were freshmen.

        Gabi ng Battle of the Bands iyon. Lee was both the vocalist and main guitarist of the band. Initially, he didn't want to join. Ang kaso, pinakiusapan siya ng blockmates niya. Hindi na siya nakahindi. Saktong monthsary din iyon ng panliligaw niya kay Laurie. It was the fifth month, actually. Because they couldn't celebrate, he invited her to watch him perform instead.

        Thankfully, she came.

        Laurie didn't just watch, though. Kay Lee lang nakatutok ang mga mata nito buong gabi. Parang may nakikita itong hindi niya nakikita. Medyo kinabahan nga siya habang nagpe-perform, e. He found that odd. He rarely got nervous during a performance.

        But then, as soon as he got off the stage, Laurie pulled him for a kiss. Lee finally realized why she kept her eyes on him the whole time. Humahanap pala ito ng tiyempo at buwelo.

        Kinalabit ni Lee ang mga kuwerdas ng huling chord. Maliit siyang napangiti. Tapos na kasi ang kanta at wala pa ring imik si Laurie sa kabilang linya. He checked the time. Apparently, he has been sitting there for more than an hour.

        He heaved an exasperated sigh. That didn't work at all. His chest lightened and tightened almost immediately after. Sinubukan niyang lumunok nang ilang beses. Hindi nawala iyong kung anong nakabara sa lalamunan niya. Sinuklay niya ang buhok. Kinagat din niya ang pang-ibabang labi.

        When none of that worked, he slowly exhaled. He bit the inside of his cheek. Bigla kasing uminit ang pakiramdam niya. Kasabay niyon ang tuloy-tuloy at diretsong pagdausdos ng mga luha sa magkabilang pisngi niya. Pinagpawisan siya nang malamig. He began feeling cold again despite wearing a jacket.

        As Lee watched the call duration, he breathed shakily. Umaandar pa rin.

        "Lau?" May narinig kasi siyang kung ano mula sa kabilang linya. Hikbi. "Umiiyak ka ba?" That question was met with silence. Still, he waited for an answer. Ilang segundo ang pinalipas niya. Inangat niya ang phone. Staring at the call duration, he breathed shakily. "Last na."

        Five seconds. Five seconds pa.

        Time didn't stop. His five seconds were up and still, nothing from Laurie. "Last na." He hovered his thumb over the red button, gulping. Wala pa rin. Kumurap-kurap siya para subukang pigilan ang mga luha niya. "Okay," bulong niya bago patayin ang tawag.

        "Call ended" na ang nakalagay sa screen. He stared at his phone for a few seconds. Upon realizing that he wasn't dreaming, he sighed and nodded. He hugged his guitar. Parang sumikip ang dibdib niya. Parang lalo ring lumago iyong nakabara sa lalamunan niya.

        Muling bumuga ng hangin si Lee. To try and calm down, he repeatedly inhaled sharply. He wiped his tears using his sleeves in between sobs. Saglit siyang napapikit. Nabasa pala ng pag-iyak niya ang gitara. Maingat niya iyong isinilid sa bag.

        Lee strapped the bag onto his back again. After that, he stood up. He inserted his phone in his pocket. Pinagpagan niya ang shorts. Nag-unat din siya ng mga braso na parang walang nangyari. When he felt his eyes welling up again, he took the plastic bags. Isinabit niya ang mga iyon sa gate. He stole one last look at Laurie's window.

        Lee smiled bittersweetly. Gone was the orange light from earlier. He, then, raised his hand as if waving Laurie goodbye. "Congrats sa 'tin. Ga-graduate na tayo."

        Muli siyang sumulyap sa mga supot ng kape at bouquet. Minabuti niyang ibuhol ang sa kape. Natapon kasi. Baka langgamin.

        Lee swallowed hard. He shouldn't make up excuses. Wala nang dahilan para manatili pa siya roon. Nagbadya na namang tumulo ang mga luha niya. Humakbang siya ng isa paatras. It wasn't much but it was a start.

        Slowly, he walked to his bike. And then, he looked at the plastic bags. A tiny part of him just wouldn't lose hope.

        "Last na," Lee whispered as he watched Laurie's window. Baka kasi may pahabol. Baka may post-credits scene pa. He just needed to wait for it. "Last na." His cheeks felt cold when the wind blew again. Umiiyak na naman pala siya. Mabilis niyang pinunasan ang mga pisngi. Muli siyang tumingala kay Laurie.

        Lee mounted his bike. "Last na, promise."

        Ever so softly, he smiled in defeat. Halos tatlong taon din tapos. . . tapos na.#