Showers did sound wonderful. Alex had food, Griever goop and guts, dirt and sweat and blood everywhere on her. Mr. Janson (or Rat Man Alex thought) led them down a bright white hall, once the card lock door closed behind the Gladers and the huge guard. Alex felt very out of place, she was dirty and dark against the bright stark white. Halfway down the hall he stopped and turned.

"Right, gentlemen. Your showers." He waved a hand towards the door. No one moved.

"Gentlemen?" Newt asked.

Mr. Janson blinked, "Yes, Mr Newton."

All the guys instinctively stepped closer to Teresa and Alex. Alex reached through the guys and grabbed Teresa's hand and pulled her back into the middle of the group beside her.

"Gentlemen, do you really expect the girls here to shower with you?" He raised his eyes in surprise. Again Alex noticed there was something off about his eyes. They had a weird glint in them, like he was excpecting something, like greed in his beedy eyes.

"Yes." Minho simply started, folding his huge arms, narrowing his eyes.

"We showered beside them when we lived in the Glade. It's no different here." Alex protested, also narrowing her eyes. Janson's eyes flicked to hers. She couldn't detect his emotion, but there was absolutely something about him that made her skin crawl.

"Miss Alexandria. I insist you and Miss Teresa come with me. Your showers are waiting down the hall. You will be reunited with the boys when you are done. I insist." He made it sound like a threat.

Newt turned to her and Teresa and said quietly, "You'll be ok. It's just showers."

"Newt, don't trust them so easily. Something is up, and I don't like it." Alex snapped.

Minho nodded. "How did he know your name? I'm pretty sure you only told us like once."

Alex growled in agreement.

Minho's eyes snapped to Janson who was watching their huddled hushed discussion.

Minho looked back at the girls and lowered his voice again. "Keep your eyes open. Be safe. Use your shuck brains" he stepped closer to Alex, "don't leave me hanging, baby." He muttered under his breath.

He kissed her forehead. Alex and Teresa stepped forward and cautiously followed. She turned back, and saw Minho, Newt and Thomas left in the hall. Alex used a finger to draw an X over her chest. Minho copied her actions with a worried look on his face.

Janson led them down the hall and around a corner, half way down another white hall he stopped, turned to them and swept his arm towards an unmarked door. Alex was leary, and she could tell Teresa was as well. She narrowed her eyes at him, he gave her a smile that almost looked like a snear. Alex grabbed Teresa's hand and together then pushed the plain door open.

Teresa and Alex stepped from the bright white hallway into an even brighter bathroom. The walls were white tile, the floor was white tile and the lights glaring at them were a harsh white. Shower stalls were lined up on both sides of the walls, with toilet stalls and sinks at the far back wall. In between each shower stall were lockers. Down the middle of the bathroom were benches, with stacks of white fluffy towels. A few chairs sitting in front of a few mirrors. On the middle bench were two piles of clothes, new shoes, and all the toiletries a girl could want. Alex looked at Teresa.

"I guess... we shower?" Teresa asked with a shrug.

"Do you want me to stand guard?" Alex asked, with a raised eyebrow. Teresa snorted. Alex laughed quietly too.

Alex turned back towards the door. She slid the lock shut, and grabbed one of the chairs and jammed it under the handle.

"Just in case." Alex said.

Teresa nodded, "Agreed."

They each grabbed a pile of clothes that were labelled theirs and each picked a stall.

Alex closed the curtain, and laid the stuff on a chair. She turned the tap on, hot water flowed out. She unbuckled her harness and belt, placing them on the chair. She tried to strip off her shirt, but it was glued to her with the mix of dried Griever guts and blood and applesauce. She stripped her pants, and stepped into the running water, once the shirt was wet, it was easier to get off. She dropped it to the white tiled floor.

She stood under the stream of hot water. Watching the dirt, blood and slime run off her body and swirl around the floor, and down the drain. She had no idea whose blood she had on her. Pedro's? David? Franky? Ethan? Jeff? Colin? Mike? Nick? Her own, definitely. She was absolutely covered in Chuck's. Minho's for sure, the guard who was shot beside her. Too many. Way too much blood. She gagged. Stomach bile rose in her throat. She tried not to think of it. But those images were forever burnt into her mind. She gagged again.

She would never forget Pedro was laying in a pool of his blood, his stomach slashed open, revealing the organs inside. His eyes still open, lifeless and vacant. Her mind flashed to Jeff. Her Jeffy. Her friend and Keeper. Someone who she spent almost every day with. She didn't see his death, but she heard it. He jumped in the way when she was grabbing Minho. Jeff was ripped apart right behind her. She heard it all. She would never forget how he jumped in front of the danger for her. Or forget the sounds of his body being ripped apart.

She would never forget how her beloved dog, how her puppy saved her life for the last time. Her Puppy. She sacrificed herself, jumping into the mouth of a Griever with all the bravery Alex wished she had. Bark always had her back. They went through so much together before the maze and then inside the maze...Her beloved furry companion was always there, taking care of her, making sure she was safe. Her last act of love and care was to sacrifice hersleff for Alex and the other Gladers. Bark would never be forgotten. Ever.

She would never forget how Matt was just ripped from her. He was there one minute and gone in a flash. She had saved his life once. Only to have his death even more violent. She would have nightmares over how Matt's body broke against the wall, splattering blood like a squished bug on the wall, his screams instantly cut off. Or how he just fell into the abyss, never to be seen again.

Alex would never forget Chuck's gruesome and pointless death. His last words, or how he choked on his own blood. He had just wanted to find his mom. She had promised and then pinky promised him. She broke that promis, there was no way to come back from a broken promise with a child.

Or Alby...her last words to him. She would never be able to take that back. The hurtful selfish words she spat at him. It wasn't his fault. It was the creators, they poisioned his mind. They killed him. His last desperate words, 'get them out.' She failed at that- more than half of the guys lay dead along the cold stone maze floors.

She couldn't anymore. She dropped to her hands and knees and threw up everything she just ate. She threw up until all she was spitting up was stomach bile. And then she wept.

She Sat hunched over on the tiled shower floor and cried big ugly heart wrenching sobs over the death of her friends. Her brothers. Her stomach emptied itself, again. She sat up and wiped her mouth. She raised her face into the water for a second. When she stood up, she heard crying from the stall beside her.

Alex was broken. Sad couldn't even begin to describe the black emptiness growing inside her. There was something that had nipped inside of her back in the glade, watching monsters rip everything apart. But now it was shattered. The sad emptiness slipped away, down the drain with the blood and dirt, and it was replaced with anger. Pure ugly haterid for WICKED and everything they stood for. She hated the creators with vengeance. All of it was meaningless. All of the days, weeks, years spent living inside those walls, all the deaths, it was all pointless. And for Dr Ava Page to try and justify finding a cure, Alex called Bull klunk. Alex's anger grew to a flash of violent rage. With a scream from the depths of her broken heart, she punched the shower wall, leaving a fist size dent. She watched as it cracked and left small spider cracks snacking its way up the wall. She punched the wall again with another yell. She felt slightly better, releasing some anger.

Alex slowly washed everything out of her hair. It took 3 full cycles to get the apple sauce and blood out of her hair. When she went to wash her body, she hissed when the soap washed over all her cuts. Especially the one on her back. She rubbed her skin raw, she wanted everything off. If she could scrub a layer of skin off, she would be okay with that.

She was disgusted with herself, physically and emotionally. She was better than what she showed. She could have saved them, if she was faster. She should have been able to save more of her brothers, if she hadn't froze, if she hadn't slipped, if she had more arrows. If she had a spear...she should have saved them.

She rinsed out her hair and with a sigh turned the water off. She dried herself off, and wrapped her hair up.

Let's see what I get to wear. What have they picked out for me... well whoever these guys are...they know my style. But how do they know my size? Sketchy...

She pulled on some comfortable brand new underwear, and new socks. A black racer back sports bra, black skinny jeans, a grey racer back tank top and black combat boots. She also strapped her belt on, and buckled the thigh strap, and threw her shoulder holster on, and gently picked up her necklace from Minho. She smiled as she ran a thumb over the smooth stone. She tied it around her neck. She took out one of her smaller knives from her holster and slipped it into her boot. A white hot pain shot threw her head, making black spots dance in front of her eyes accompanied with a pounding headache. Alex grabbed her head, and doubled over.

"Always have something you can defend yourself with!" A deep gruff voice said. A small handled knife was hekd out to her. Alex picked it up, tossed it up into the air. She caught it, with a mischievous grin and slid it into her boot.

"He doesn't know about that rule, does he?" Alex asked with a sly grin.

"No. And let's keep it that way. Slashing and stabbing our way out is the last option." said the gruff voice.

Her memory faded, leaving her panting with a splitting headache. She leaned her head for a moment on the cool tiled wall, trying to sooth it.

She opened the shower curtain and went to the sink. She wiped the steam off and looked at the person who looked back at her. She didn't recognise the girl. The girl looking back had a scar running from her forehead to her temple and another freshly scabbed cut to match, on the other side. The girl had dark circles under her eyes, but her freckles stood out across her tanned cheeks and nose. She had a cute little nose, her eye colour was pretty, brown with gold and green flecks, but they looked empty and hollow, behind long thick eyelashes.

The tank top she was given was low. It showed off the scars on her neck and chest. She wasn't sure how she felt about this. The boys in The Glade didn't look twice, they knew what happened and what she went through. She also never really had low cut shirts, she mostly wore the guys too small shirts, or Minho's hoodie. The few times she wore a tank top, they were definitely not this low cut, showing off her scared clevege. Now though...outside the maze, strangers would be staring, and she felt extremely uncomfortable and self conscious. Body image was a weird thing. She never cared what others thought before - except that one day when Tes woke up.

Her body looked strong, fit and muscular. She had curves, but her body was more athletic than curvy. She smiled sadly. She picked up the brush. The few months she was in the Glade, her hair had grown too. The red gold hair went past her shoulders to her mid back, in a wavy sheet.

The curtain opened and Teresa stepped out.

"Huh, you clean up good there Tes." Alex winked at her in the mirror. Teresa had a pair of jeans and a navy blue top with white sneakers. Simple, but she didn't need anything to stand out, her natural beauty did that for her. Alex stuffed her emotions back down, and put her smile back on.

Teresa smiled back, "same with you! Minho's not gonna know what hit em!" She teased.

"Well, with a shower that works and proper soap, it will do that!" Alex joked. "Hey Tes, can you do that elaborate braid again, I can't figure out how you do it!"

Alex sat on the bench and Teresa got to work. "How do you know how to do that? It's so complicated! And you do it so fast!"

Teresa just laughed "No idea. It's like muscle memory! Maybe I used to do it all the time for you!?"

Alex hummed. It only took her a few minutes. Alex sat and watched Teresa brush her hair.

"Well I guess we find the guys now." She said as she turned to face Alex.

"Ya, you gonna find Tommy?" Alex giggled, raising an eyebrow. Teresa's face flushed pink.

"Sure he's cute...but .." she trailed off shaking her head.

Her eyes caught the necklace.

"What's that?" She asked, coming over to sit down. Alex picked up the stone and rubbed her thumb over it.

"It was from Minho. A promise." She smiled sadly, looking at it.

"It's beautiful. And really sweet. He doesn't seem like the guy to show his raw emotions very often...so that's super sweet!" she bumped Alex's shoulder with her own. Alex smiled.

"Ya, he is." Alex said quietly, with a smile. It still seemed wild to her that she was only in the Glad for only three months. With everything that happened, it felt like so long. But what really got Alex was the relationship with Minho. Yes, it was fast, but it seemed natural and organic. Life in the Glad was always rushed, but it felt right, it felt like they picked up where they left off and not starting a new relationship.

"It's crazy how even before I had memories of us...we were attracted to each other. I guess you can take memories, but not feelings and emotions." Alex said slowly, still thinking, rubbing the stone with her thumb.

Teresa nodded, "I guess you guys were meant to be! Soul mates if you would!"

"What about you and Tommy?" Alex elbowed Teresa in the ribs gently.

She just shrugged, "I don't know...I was really only awake in the Glade for like 2 days..I only really just met him, I have no memories of us. He's familiar, but it doesn't seem...like what you and Minho have. And I'm pretty sure him and Newt have a thing..."

Alex hummed in response with a sly grin, "Very true, they do. Though he did think you were hot stuff when you arrived and first woke up, didn't think Newt was too happy for the first little! But, I'll stop teasing, Tes."

Teresa smiled shyly at her, then looked gloomily at the floor, she sighed. "Seems like a lifetime ago we were in the Glade at the tree house and you guys were trying to talk me down."

"Ya, sure does. But we only 'just met'" Alex used hand quotes, "But we're friends..no?"

Teresa smiled. "We sure are. I'm glad we are. I don't think I could do this without you."

Alex pulled her into a side hug. "Same girl."

They sat quietly for a moment. There was a loud bang on the bathroom door, startling them both.

"I guess we're taking too long." Teresa sighed. They got up Alex moved the chair and undid the lock. Teresa opened the bathroom door. On the other side of the door was the big bald guard from earlier. Teresa visibly shrunk under his gaze. Alex did the opposite, she straightened up, and looked him in the eye. There was definitely something about this guy. He seemed to loosen the tight knot of worry in her.

"You rang?"

He grunted, he swept his eyes over her then held out a hand.

"You looking for a high five?" Alex raised an eyebrow, and then slapped his huge hand with her little one. He blinked, the side of his lip twitched.

"I need your vest. No weapons in the sanctuary." His voice was deep and gravelly. Alex sighed dramatically.

"Even if I promise not to use them?"

"Especially then. You would break that promise. Almost immediately."

She sighed again, "Ya, you're right. Fine."

"I'll keep them safe." His deep voice rumbled, echoing around the empty hall.

Alex snorted in derision. "Sure ya will big guy." But she unhooked her shoulder harness and handed it over.

"The belt?"

She looked down, "There's no weapons, can I not keep it? It has sentimental value.." He raised an eyebrow. Alex sighed sadly, this time, "Look I have a little gift from a friend who died a bloody pointless death in my arms, and I have no way to carry it, other than in the bag. Please?" She begged.

Her eyes actually watering, just thinking of Chuck in her arms made her heart hurt. She could see the hardness in his eyes falter.

"I'm sorry, soldier. But rules are rules. Slip it into your boot, I'm sure there's still room."

Alex froze.

Does he know? How does he know I have something in there? He hasn't asked to check, but he seems to know.

Alex swatted the tear that leaked out when she held the little statue Chuck made. It still had his blood smeared on it. Alex sniffed and slipped it inside her sock and boot. She reluctantly handed over her hip holster.

The big guard had an almost sad, almost pity, expression on his face when she looked up at him. His face morphed back into one of masked indifference, he turned around and started walking down the hall. "Follow me, I need to bring you to the medical wing. The rest of your group is there."

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**Alex and hear break down..Heart breaks

**A little Newtmas for ya Shankets.