The counsel room door burst open, a bagger came panting inside, "He aint dead! Alby! Ben aint dead! The arrow missed his heart! We have him in the Slammer with Clint."

Alex froze in her spot.

"Keepers! Stay here! Newt, come with me." Alby and Newt followed Gavin the bagger out the door.

Alex shrunk into the corner. She was fighting with herself.

I'm guilty and maybe I should be banished...but I was following orders! And he was going to kill Tommy...I did the right thing...right? What's going to happen now?

Relief flooded through her, she didn't actually kill someone, he was still alive...but then fear washed over her, that monster was still alive and he wanted to kill her and Tommy. She was so deep in her own thoughts she didn't notice there was someone in front of her until that person had their hand on her shoulder. She jumped with a gasp.

"Jeezes shuck it Minho!" she yelped, her heartbeat sped up for a second. He smirked down at her.

"What's going on up there?" He tapped her temple, he had a concerned frown on his beautiful face.

She shrugged and looked away, "too many things." It was true. She couldn't really formulate any cohesive thoughts. They all meshed and jumbled together.

He crossed his arms, and looked her up and down, with a slight smirk, even though his eyes still looked at her with concern, "So what's with the new warrior look?"

She was grateful he didn't push it. She spread her arms out and did a turn "You like it? I heard you tried to wear it. I totally out badass you." She let a small smile on her face, picturing his big muscled body trying to fit into the belt and holster.

He cocked an eyebrow at her "Sure do." She was going to tell him about the memory she had when she touched the belt but Alby and Newt came back. Both looking grim, Newt threw her a nervous glance.

"He's alive. But still insisting on killing Thomas and now he's pissed at Alex and wants her dead. Keepers, we vote on Banishment. Yes or No."

It was unanimous, Gally begrudgingly agreed, Ben did break a rule, and Gally was all about rules.

Ben would be banished at sun down.

_____________________

Alex watched with her stomach heaving and twisting as Minho dragged his old running partner into the front of the crowd. She couldn't tell what Minho was feeling or thinking. Like her, he wore a mask of cold stone. Ben was his friend and partner for a long time. He tossed a small bag of supplies out into the maze, maybe by some miracle he would survive. Minho turned and went to stand with the other keepers, his arms folded, looking straight ahead, his jaw clamped shut.

Her body shuddered, she didn't want to be here to see this. She turned to Chuck "You're too young for this, let's go, I don't want to be here either." He was trying to be brave, but Alex could see the tears forming and his lip trembling. "Come on, bud. Wanna help me start a campfire?" He looked up desperately, he nodded his head and reached for Alex's hand.

She turned away. As she turned away she saw Thomas's face.

"You ok? You look like you're going to pass out." Alex was concerned for him. She understood what was going through his head, she was in his position almost a month ago.

"It's my fault he's getting banished. It's my fault! This is so barbaric! How can you all just stand there and watch?" He sounds desperate and pleading, his brown eyes wide.

Alex flaired with anger. "Well, I could have left him there to beat you to death and eat you, like Chris did to me! And when I fired that arrow, I didn't see you complaining! I saved your shuck butt. If we don't have order in here, then everything we've built comes crumbling down." She softened her voice, he looked so stricken, "Tommy, he's not human anymore. Okay? Whatever the Grievers inject, it poisons their minds and turns them into animals. It takes their humanity. I'm sorry. This is a shucked up place. And we have to make shucked up decisions." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze.

"Matt?" Alex asked. His chin was trembling and his chest was rising and falling faster than it should. And his eyes were wide. Her heart broke for the boy. She pulled him into a one armed hug and gently steered him away.

"Come on, you don't need to see this. Remember him from before, remember the good."

She clung to Chuck's hand and had Matt protective under her arm and the three walked away. Her and Chuck had built a small fire, just to keep busy. Matt was huddled on the ground, staring wide eyed into the flames, a dead haunted look in his eyes, tears slipping down his face. But they still heard Alby's deep loud voice.

"Ben of the Runners, you've been sentenced to Banishment for the attempted murder of Thomas the Track Hoe and uttering threats to Alex the MedJack and Runner. The Keepers have spoken, and their word ain't changing. And you ain't coming back. Ever." He picked up the pole, the doors started to rumble. "KEEPERS!"

Ben's last blood curdling screams were cut off as the walls slammed shut. Matt broke and the sobbs came, Alex sat down in front of the fire, her back against a log. Chuck curled up on the ground, his head in Alex's lap, just staring into the fire. Alex pulled Matt into her chest and held the boy as he cried.

It was sick how they let such young children into a life like this. Matt was younger than Alex, and didn't seem much older than Chuck. Bark came trotting out of the Deadhwards, a stick in her mouth, and plunked herself down in Matt's lap, licking his hands. He absentmindedly petted her head, as his sobbing turned into hiccups.

"Alex?" Chuck's little voice asked.

"Ya bud? What's up?" She asked quietly.

She heard a small sniffle. "Do you remember your parents?"

Alex was quiet, what could she say to this small terrified child to help him feel better? "Not really. I remember a hug. And a voice singing a song. What about you guys?" Their non answer was answer enough.

"Do you think she misses me? I miss her..but I don't even know what I'm missing." Chuck sounded so broken, so little.

"Chuck. I know your mother is sitting on your bed at home ugly crying, snot and tears everywhere, holding your pillow because she misses her Chuckles. I know I would." There was another quiet minute.

"I don't know if I even have parents. I don't even know if I have a sibling. You're lucky Alex, to have Newt." Matt whispered, she could hear him sniff.

"Matt, you're my brother too, ya know. I love you guys like family! We are a chosen family." She answered, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Alex looked down at her youngest friend, Chuck had pulled something out of his pocket. "Whatcha got there Bud?" Alex asked. He held it up for her to see. It was a little piece of wood; he had carved a little human out of it. "That's awesome Chuck! Did you make this?"

Chuck nodded, "ya...it was supposed to be for my parents."

"Chuck, they are going to love it!" Matt smiled sadly at him too, taking a quick look at the carving.

Chuck was quiet for a minute and held it back out for Alex, she took it gently to look closer at it. "You can have it."

She looked back at Chuck, "what?" she asked, surprised.

"Not like I can remember them anyways." He said miserably, staring into the fire.

Alex could feel a new determination building in her chest. She wanted to find a way out for herself, yes, but she had to, no she NEEDED to, find a way out for these children. For the boys who had given years of their lives to this miserable shucked up place. She was determined to find a way for Alby who had to live alone for a month and had to make horrific decisions between the lesser of two evils. For Newt who lost all hope being trapped and tried to end it. For Minho, the broken boy inside a stone wall of sass and confidence, who was slowly crumbling and losing his own hope. For Gally who was a bully to everyone just to hide how scared he was, for Matt who just about died a pointless death and had to watch someone he deeply cared about turn into a monster, and for Frypan who just wants to cook in peace and not in a prison. For the child laying in her lap, missing a mother he couldn't remember. She was going to find a way out for all her boys.

"Chuck, you hold onto this for me, k? We're going to get out! I promise, cross my heart! Pinky swear!" She held out a pinky, he slowly wrapped his chubby one around hers. She held one out to Matt, he gave her a small smile and then held his out to Chuck. They made a pink swear circle.

A few of the other Gladers slowly came to sit around their fire. It was a very melancholy subdued fire. Alby didn't say anything, he just sat down opposite Alex, she nodded giving him a small sad smile. She could see him deflate, he had bags under his eyes, he looked exhausted.

Newt sat next to Alby looking the same. Gally, had a moment of goodwill and with the help of Frypan offered his 'special drink' to anyone. He came to Alex, he didn't look her in the eye, but held it out. She was touched that he even offered after the nasty things he said about her in the gathering.

"Did you poison it?" She tried to tease.

Gally ground his teeth and forced out "if you don't want it."

Alex reached over Matt, who was still snuggled into her side, and grabbed the jar. She never actually tried it before, her last 2 bonfires haven't exactly been happy memories. She held the jar in both hands. Chuck tilted his head to look, "looks like he peed in the jar! And you're going to drink it? Man, Shanket, you're brave!" He chuckled to himself.

"Or dumb!" Matt added, giving his own jar the stink eye.

"Matt. You're too young for this stuff, remember that hangover you had last time?" She scolded.

"Am not! I'm like at least 15, maybe 16, and today has been one giant Klunk!" He said miserably. She saw him wipe a few more tears with the palm of his hand.

"Cheers boys." Alex held her jar out, Matt clinked his with her. He had chugged half the jaw already.

She took a sip; it burnt all the way down into her stomach. She let out a small cough. The burning turned into a warmth in the pit of her stomach. There were a few quiet conversations going on, but nothing lasted long. The mood in the Glade was definitely a low one. Chuck had curled even tighter into Alex's side, she laid her arm around him and started playing with his curls. Matt had already finished his jar and was starting to doze off, his head on Alex's shoulder.

"Alex, will you sing again? Please?" Chuck asked, on the last word his small voice cracked and she heard another sniffle. A few other heads looked over and Newt was looking at her with expectation in his eyes. She took another sip of the courage juice.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away.

One night dear, while I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I held my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You never know dear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away. "

Alex closed her eyes trying to think of another song. She reached as far as she could into her dark mind. She concentrated on trying to grab a slip of fog that had swept by.

She felt warm arms around her, she looked up and saw the face of a middle aged woman rocking her after a bad dream singing quietly. It must be her mother, she had the same firey hair and green eyes as Alex, she looked tired and sickly. A small Sonya lay curled up on the mattress beside a young Newt. It looked like the basement of a border up house. Boxes and canned food stacked up, a shotgun by the locked door. But she heard the lullaby her mother sang to her as she held her and rocked her back to sleep.

She opened her eyes and looked at Newt as she opened her mouth and sang the sweet and sad lullaby for her boys.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true

A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep

In dreams you will lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling through

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true"

Alby didn't say anything when most of the Gladers opted to sleep outside by the fire they needed each other. Newt came over and kissed the top of her head. They smiled sadly at each other; they both felt like they were carrying the world on their shoulders. Alex laid her head on top of Matt's, who was already asleep, and fell into a restless sleep.

Minho was nowhere to be seen- though like last fire, he was there listening from afar, watching from the lookout trying desperately to hold his carefully built walls together.