Underneath the surface
I, I am a wreck.
Like the Titanic, my sanity
Is inevitably sinking.
My mind struggles to break away
From the darkness to find day,
But it can never again make it to the bay.
The cold icy water of self loathing
Pull relentlessly at my limbs,
Making it impossible for me to break away.
All I hear is the freezing waves of self hate that tell me how much I fail.
They lap up against my ears,
Submerging them so all I hear is their noise.
Sound waves travel through them,
Communicating to me the evil words of a siren that lives deep within the depths.
She sings so sweetly that I am horrid.
An abomination. A disgrace.
The worst yet is when I slip under the waters.
There is only her and the cold water that is an extension of her frozen hands.
She sits at the deep, waiting for me.
If I listen carefully,
I hear her promise all my pain will be gone.
Such a tempting offer from a being
So ugly.
I still struggle to keep my head up.
I break the surface once again,
Taking a deep breath of air.
Everything seems so vibrant.
The sky is blue as blue,
The air as sweet as candy.
For a moment,
I close my eyes
To rest.
I lay on my back before I am drug back.
Her cold welcoming arms
Embrace me once again.
How much longer can I last
In this battle of wills?
Underneath the surface,
I, I am a wreck.