As a child

I remember looking at my parents like heroes

They were flawless and could never harm me

But as I got a little older

As I was pushed to grow up

I realized

They were far from the heroes the world made them out to be

It came to me for the first time when my mother's friend told me of how nice my mother is

How helpful she is with everyone

How comforting she is

I furrowed my brows

My mother had anger issues and was always annoyed with anything we did

She made me help my siblings, making me so much like a parent

She never comforted me

I nodded along with them anyway

I understood that people show off to others

Reminding me of my father

How he loves me when it's convenient

How he made broken promises

How he broke my heart

It was difficult to swallow

That my parents were never heroes

But it filled in so many of the gaps

My parents have their fair share of toxic traits

But it was the response I have to their actions that made me question if they were villains

The difference between the two were blurred

Just like the line between reality and fantasy

As a teenager

I see that I can no longer hold conversations with my parents

I am no longer bond to the lenses I had to see through

I realized I never truly respected them

I grow up afraid

I didn't learn to respect

And with that knowledge

I could no longer fear them

So I spoke

Spoke of how much I didn't agree with their thoughts

Spoke of how their actions ruined my social skills

Spoke of how much I wanted to leave

I came to understand that their actions would never change with me

I would never be seen as the person I am today

I would be forever seen as a 7 year old on their eyes

That held me back

I couldn't move forward in my life knowing that having them around would kill my future

Kill the opportunities

Kill the bright lights of my dreams

To understand that they were my villains

Was something I didn't get over of years

I spend so much of my youth pleasing them that I had lost not only time but myself

I lost the young child who loved to play in the dirt

Them being replaced with a poet

Who wrote out the lines to my heart

The one who kept my words encrypted

The one who helped me find that child

After my realization

So now I have a poet and a young child on my shoulders

Facing the villains I have learned to love

The villains who were right under my nose

As a child

As a teenager

I hoped my villains were the monsters in my head

But they were the givers of my upbringing

I was told letting go of the people who won't let you grow would be easy

But I can't just let them go

Because I'll miss the memories

I'll miss the false hope of happiness

And I'll miss them

But I am willing to hurt to flourish

I am will to give up the factors of my past for the stability of my future

I just hope I can tell them before the kill me inside