Dear mother

If I were to have a conversation with you about what I have to say
You'd be nothing but disappointed

I fall short of your expectations every time

Nothing has changed except my outlook on life

You tell me how you almost aborted me
How you're glad you didn't
But I wish you had
Because it would have saved everyone the pain

Mother
Why didn't you take the chance
What did you see in me?
What you got back from that missed opportunity
Was a disappointment

If this conversation were to take place
I'd feel as if I am never good enough
Which is true
I am not worth the time, money, or emotional attachment of anyone.

My mind is numb to feeling expect pain
I feel as if my body is moving to keep up the illusion that I am still here
I wish to be with the stars

For they are loved no matter how people see them.
The sky so big yet so small.
So high yet so low

You expect so much from me
And I give all that I can
But it is still never enough to please you

Mother
What am I to you
The obvious answer is your child
But what am I too you

Being only your child to you is nothing short being only a thought
Everyone is someone's child

I want to be worth it
Like everyone else seems to be

Mother
Why can't I be worth something to you