"Dude I can't fucking believe it. It's happening again."

Newt glanced from the table, struggling to hold its cards. It had a royal flush. "What is happening again?"

I gestured between Newt and myself. "This. Like, I'm essentially talking to myself again. That hasn't happened since, what, freshmen year of school?"

"And in freshmen year of school you took a video of yourself in different outfits for different scenes." Newt added. "Tell me how this is supposed to correlate? I'm a bug."

"You're a Bydo." I correct.

"Dude shut your mouth, we don't want anyone else hearing this, unless you want to start the apocalypse and a bunch of time travel shit." Newt hissed. "Speaking of that, why are you bringing this up now?"

I shrug. "Because why not?"

"You're stupid."

"You're me."

Suddenly, the door slammed open. A sitcom applause boomed from the ether as Scramble floated in. Just like Newt, he was also a deliberate R-TYPE reference.

"Hello everyone!" Scramble shouted.

"Hello Scramble." Me and Newt say in unison.

"Hello." He parroted. "So what's crackin'?"

Newt throws down its cards. "Nothing."

"That isn't nothing." Said Helger, the living void, who was here the whole time. "What the fuck is that."

"Flush you down the toilet." Newt replied.

"Pitiful." She placed down her own hand. "Too many ace of spades attack."

"Dude that's literally cheating how do you have that many ace of spades."

"We're infamous for cheating dipshit."

"Ah." Scramble nodded. "The usual stuff. Ok."

Helger leaned over the table, using one of her flesh tentacles as an elbow. "And are you going to writhe in pain over your defeat or are you gonna take it like a champ?"

"Riot!" Newt screeched. "I deploy my secret weapon!"

"I fucking swear to god with a lowercase g if you brought fish crackers into my house i will murder you in your sleep." I interrupt, sitting up, a clear indicator I was serious about this.

Newt pauses. He scrunches back like the maggot he is. "Well lucky for you, I didn't."

I leaned back. "Ok good."

"I brought Junior Mints!" He squeals, pulling out a box of Nerds. "Wait, did I say that wrong?"

"Yes." The rest of us deadpanned.

"Son of a bitch." He tossed the Nerds out the window. "Ok so what do we do now."

"I dunno." Scramble spun on his axis. "[AUTHOR], what do you suggest?"

I glanced at my phone. "We could play poker."

Helger twists through the 9th dimension to stare at me. "Hey I thought we weren't referencing that video nobody saw."

"I know! That's why I said could and not should." I clarified. "Who do you think I am?"

"You are Soundwave." Helger said.

"No, I-"

"You are Soundwave from Transformers." Helger repeated.

And then I was.