Maya

"I think you should go ahead with this. Though you might have handled different things with Areum in the past, this is something entirely new for all three of you, and I really feel that some professional guidance will help," I try to coax Taehyung while my hands offer gentle squeezes to his tired shoulders.

Seated between my thighs with his back to me, he exhales his exhaustion, his head lowering as he contemplates the situation and goes into overthinking as he always does.

"Don't stress out, baby. Go for it. You might get some clarity," I speak softly as I lean forward from my seat on the armrest of the couch and kiss his cheek, circling his neck with my arms and holding him tight and close to my body.

"Okay," he finally agrees with a reluctant nod of his head.

Ever since my meeting with Jang-Mi yesterday, Taehyung has been extremely nervous about how to reveal the news of the separation to Areum. Since Jang-Mi has agreed to have shared custody over their daughter, he is also worried about many other things that might trouble her in the long run.

The divorce mediation that's due tomorrow is also getting him worried, and he just keeps zoning out so often.

I have been trying and doing my best to help him ease, but it doesn't work well at all times. Despite my insistence that being alone at his house would only add to his desperation and separation anxiety, he still went back home last night, only to spend it sleeplessly.

It hurts to see him suffer, and last night we discussed this vaguely, and somehow his friend SeokJin's topic came up in the discussion. SeokJin's wife, Layla, is a child psychologist and a behavioral therapist, and it suddenly struck my mind that she could probably be the missing link to get everyone out of this complicated tangle.

However, Taehyung is skeptical about opening up to her and discussing the issue at hand.

But he has finally given in to my attempts at convincing him, and he has agreed to meet her today. And, given that the next mediation session with their attorney is tomorrow, there is no better time than now to get the most-needed professional guidance.

In all honesty, an outsider, as opposed to those who are directly involved in the fix, would always be able to think rationally and provide realistic solutions that are not bound by emotions.

The concerned person's mind tends to revolve around too many invisible details that might actually be totally irrelevant to the situation, but their mind still won't let them invalidate it. It almost always takes a neutral party to see through the chaos.

"Call her and find out when she's available," I peck his cheek again and nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck, my hands stroking his chest, wordlessly telling him to loosen up and allow himself to relax a little.

Stretching out his arm, Taehyung picks up his phone from the table and places a call to Layla.

"Layla, hi. Taehyung here," his tone mirrors how weary he feels overall.

"Yeah, I've been okay. I- uhm.. I was thinking if I could meet you sometime today," Taehyung hesitates, but somehow manages to pull out the words fighting at the back of his throat while I slide into the seat beside him on the couch.

"That's good. Yeah, 3 pm sounds fine. I'm off work today, so, yeah, I can make it," his hand slips into his hair, and he grips a handful of it as he rests his elbow on his knee.

"Sure, I don't mind if Jin is around. I've already talked to him, so that's not an issue," he confirms before bidding her goodbye and ending the call, tossing his phone on the table and leaning back on the couch, fully drained.

"TaeTae," I slide my arm around his torso and lean on him, causing his sleep-deprived eyes to meet mine.

I just can't bear to see him in such a troubled state. Even though I know what is worrying him, I still have no power to help him out of it right away, except to be by his side and listen to him—to his spoken and unspoken words.

Sensing my gaze that stays on him for a while, he exhales wearily.
"Maya, I'm getting you worried. I'm sorry," he delicately pushes some hair behind my ear and brings his arms to hold me close.

"Baby, I'm worried that I have nothing to make you feel better. No matter how close we are, suffering is still a very personal thing, Taehyung. And no matter how much we allow others to share our pain and worries with us, it still won't make a difference to how and how much our mind chooses to suffer. I only hope that everything gets better...soon," my hand caresses his jaw, and I crane my neck to give him a kiss on his lips.

"I'm hoping for the same. I haven't even been spending my time together with you like I should be. I promise, I will. Once I get a hold of things, I can be a much better man, Maya." He sends me a warm smile despite the calamity brewing within his chest.

"Taehyung, we still have a long way to go, and I'm not going anywhere. Everything can wait. Don't beat yourself up over these things and get worked up, okay?" I use my hand to move the hair out of his forehead to expose more of his handsome face.

"Okay," Taehyung says in a raspy whisper, his hand softly caressing my cheek, keeping his eyes stuck to mine.

"Please go with me today to meet Layla. I think I might definitely need you around," his tone softens as his hand glides down to my shoulder and further down as he gently squeezes my arm.

"I wanted to ask you that, but I felt I might be out of place," I respond meekly.

Taehyung denies, shaking his head a little.

"I think you should be there too. Because though not immediately, eventually, whenever she's with me, Areum is going to be with you as well, and it's important that we both understand the situation and know how to handle it well"

That sounds logical, and given that I have no experience with parenting, I definitely need some tips from an expert, especially when my parenting journey is going to start out on a rough road with a young child who would most definitely hate me for inserting myself into her little family bubble and popping it.

I'm sure she'll see me as a witch of a woman, and I definitely don't have a clue how to erase that image from her mind and make her feel comfortable with me, and how to earn her love and trust. It is surely going to be a daunting task, and, maybe, Layla could help me figure things out.

"Okay, I guess I would definitely need some advice too," I agree after some thought.

Taehyung and I have a few bites of leftover food from last night and proceed to meet SeokJin and Layla at their home which is located more than an hour from where we are.

The drive to their house is filled with loud silence despite the soft music that is playing on the stereo. He is driving quietly, and I too choose to stay quiet and just let him be, rather than force a conversation.

After more than thirty minutes of dead silence among us, Taehyung clears his throat and lowers the volume of the music to almost nothing.

"Maya, are you willing to take care of Areum?" His question is too random and sudden, and it makes my eyebrows knit together.

"Why would you ask such a thing, Taehyung?" I turn my head towards him, giving him my full attention.

"I feel like I'm just burdening your life with my own baggage. It's making me so guilty," he cribs in a disappointed manner.

"Baggage? Hey," I place a hand on his thigh. "Areum is your daughter, and she is very precious, and important to me. I have never considered anything about you as a burden. I chose to do this, and I'm sharing your life with my full consent and willingness, and nothing is forced or thrust upon me," I curl my fingers a little, and Taehyung turns his eyes to me as he brings the car to a halt at a red light.

"I want to be there for Areum. I will try my best to help her feel comfortable. It will surely not be a cake walk, I know that. But I will not give up. It's my promise to you," my words bring a smile to Taehyung's face.

"I want us all to be happy, Maya. I really do. I hope Areum will adjust with time and accept you into her life. She can be quite hard to handle at times," he proceeds to drive when the light shifts to green.

"Kids are always full of surprises, and, honestly, I have no idea how to handle anything. But I really want to know and learn, and that's why I'm up for meeting Layla today. I may mean nothing to Areum, and that's understandable. But I just don't want to be someone who she considers a bad person," I make my point quite confidently and lean back in my seat, not bothering to remove my hand from Taehyung's thigh.

"How are you feeling?" He asks another random question.

"Feeling? Like physically? Mentally?" I raise my head a little and look at him as he keeps driving.

"Both," he takes hold of my hand in his one hand and controls the wheel with his other hand, lacing his fingers through mine.

"Physically, I feel a little tired, but I think some wine and good sleep will take care of that"

"Yeah, it'll get better, soon" he comforts me by giving a light squeeze to my hand.

"I hope so too... Mentally, I feel as if I'm at a crucial point in life where I have to quickly scale up and learn to be a parent figure in Areum's life. I'm anxious too that I shouldn't make mistakes and screw up. So, yeah, that's how I'm feeling"

Taehyung only nods his agreement, still holding my hand in a reassuring manner.

"How are you feeling, Taehyung?" I make soft circles on the back of his hand with my thumb.

"Drained, confused...I don't know, maybe a little selfish too? For putting my daughter through all of this just because I chose to move on," he lets out sadly.

A helpless sigh falls from my lips before I begin speaking.

"I wish I had some healing powers to share your pain and help you feel better. Does this help?" I lean towards him and press my lips to his cheek in a firm and lingering kiss that makes him laugh softly.

"It definitely helped," Taehyung takes our joined hands to his lips and kisses the back of my hand.

In about five more minutes, we arrive at a posh mansion that almost looks like a dreamy castle with huge and strong ornate gates that seem to be reaching the sky. The driveway appears unnecessarily long, at least to me, and just the rose patch in the sprawling garden looks to be bigger than my entire house.

"Are we at the right location? This looks like some king's residence," my jaw drops when the entire facade of the mansion comes in full view.

Taehyung laughs softly as he pulls over right in front of the mansion's entrance.

"King SeokJin has been his nickname ever since he got married. All of this was given to him when he married Layla," he explains while unbuckling his seatbelt.

"Wow! And what does SeokJin do?"

"Neither of them actually need to work, and they can comfortably feed at least three generations, but Jin takes care of the leather export business that Layla's father passed on to him," he explains, and my eyebrows raise as I nod my head, impressed.

Looks like SeokJin really hit the lottery, and it also gives me a strong hint about how Taehyung may have been comparing himself with SeokJin all along and feeling bad for having not acquired any kind of material wealth or assets of other forms through his marriage with Jang-Mi.

Honestly, it isn't going to be any different with me and him because there is absolutely no material wealth or business power or anything else that he is going to acquire from this relationship of ours.

I don't pry him anymore because I don't want to be intrusive and learn some new information which may or may not affect my thoughts during the meeting with them.

"Let's go in now," fortunately, Taehyung doesn't reveal any new information as well, and I let out a sigh of relief before we both climb out of the car and walk up to their front door.

My mind begins revisiting the questions that I had prepared earlier, and I am hoping to get answers to at least some of them and possibly take a step closer to motherhood.

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But Yoongi at the back is everything!
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Published on 05/29/2022