Jang-Mi

Maya collapses suddenly, her eyes rolling back as her knees buckle and her head lols about. Fortunately, my reflexes are quick, and I grab her by her waist, stopping her from hitting the ground.

"MAYA! MAYA, OPEN YOUR EYES!" I frantically tap her cheeks and shake her shoulders as I drop down on my knees and put her head to rest on my lap.

There is a small crowd that quickly gathers around us, and everyone is muttering and whispering among themselves, but no one is stepping forward to help her. They're only crowding the area and reducing the air supply, making it more suffocating than it already is.

"Assholes!" I curse under my breath as I grab my phone from my purse and call the ambulance, giving them details about our location.

Maya is still breathing, and I don't know what happened and why she suddenly fainted when she seemed all okay up until this sudden attack.

A few seconds pass, and two men in the crowd help me in lifting Maya off the ground and helping her limp form onto a vacant chair that's part of the outdoor dining area of the café.

They also sprinkle a little water on her face while I sit by holding her head safely against my shoulder. The water wakes her up, but she looks disoriented and lost.

"Maya, it's me, Jang-Mi. Are you feeling okay?" I ask her, taking the bottle of water from the man's hand and extending it to Maya when she sits up, holding her head in her hands.

"Thank you," she says weakly, and clumsily helps herself to a few mouthfuls of water, and I cannot help but assume that she had a sudden attack of stroke or something.

"I've called the ambulance. Do you think you need to visit the emergency room?" The worry in my tone is evident.

"I don't think so, Jang-Mi," she turns her head to look at me. "But I don't know how it happened," Maya adds worriedly, but her speech isn't slurred even though she still looks a little lost, indicating that it probably wasn't a stroke.

"If this is the first time that you're experiencing this, I think it's best you visit a doctor and get checked. I'll go with you," my offer is followed by the dissonant two-tone beeping of the ambulance siren.

I don't find it hard to coax her into the ambulance, and I get in with her as well. The paramedics in the ambulance scan her irises and her tongue and throat with a flashlight, and they also check with her about her experience on the whole, and any specific symptoms that she experienced before or after, that could be a cause for worry.

There is none, and they chalk it up to exhaustion and almost dismiss it as nothing else until the female paramedic, who is taking down patient notes, suddenly pops up with a question.

"When was your last period date?" Her question makes my eyes freeze on Maya, and Maya's eyes fly to the paramedic.

"I was supposed to start my period a week ago. But I haven't yet," she lowers her head, keeping her hands tightly clasped together on the top of her lap.

"Okay. You could get tested for pregnancy at the hospital if there's a possibility of that, I mean," the paramedic laughs softly, her eyes flitting between Maya and I.

Maya nods silently while I sit there not knowing how to react to this entire conversation, even though it shouldn't be surprising to me when I know fully well that they have been physical. My mind struggles a bit to come up with some nice words to say to her, but even though my words fail me, I still do my best to show my support for her by reaching out to hold her hand in mine.

There is an undeniable bitterness twisting within my chest, but I keep convicing myself that I shouldn't be feeling this way.

I must move on.

Her shoulders relax as she lets me hold her hand, which is cold to the touch. But her eyes are still shy to look at me, and it's understandable, though extremely awkward as well.

The ambulance is filled with silence as it finally drives into the nearest hospital, and we alight the vehicle, following the paramedics to the emergency room.

A pair of doctors attend to Maya and they repeat the same set of questions that she answered earlier, making her more tired than she already is at the moment. I only stand by and observe what is happening.

One of the doctors hands Maya a pregnancy test kit and begins explaining the usage instructions to her. After listening to it carefully, she rises from her seat; her eyes troubled and filled with doubt and despair.

"Maya, can I talk to you for a moment before you get tested?" I ask her quietly, and she nods a few times.

We both walk out of the emergency room and head towards the women's washrooms, all of which are fortunately unoccupied at the moment.

Turning to face Maya, I hold her by her shoulders and take a deep breath.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know, Jang-Mi. I'm a little anxious, maybe? I really don't know," Maya lets her head drop, and I lift up her chin with a finger.

"Are you hoping it could be a pregnancy?"

"I do hope it's a pregnancy, but before I actually missed my period, I went a little reckless with alcohol one night, and that is also worrying me," her voice drops with a mixture of guilt and anxiety lacing her tone.

"Tell me something. In case this is a pregnancy, will you be happy to go ahead with it?" I'm almost sure this could be a pregnancy, yet there are many other possibilities too.

Maya's expressions freeze for a moment, and she's suddenly plummeting into deep thoughts as seen from how motionless she is right now.

"Maya?" I shake her shoulders a little, breaking her off from her state of trance.

"Yes, I will go ahead with it if Taehyung also wants the same for us," her words come out with more confidence this time, and it brings an uneasy smile to my face.

I don't want them to make a mistake by rushing into things. That's the first step where we failed, and I'm really hoping that it shouldn't be the case with them.

"Go ahead, good luck!" I release my hold on her shoulders and take her bag in my hand, allowing her to use the washroom and the test kit.

She walks away with a small, tired smile into one of the toilets, locking the door behind her. The sounds that follow don't register in my mind while I wait for her to come out, my own nervousness beyond my control at this point as I keep pacing the length of the area like an expectant mother cat.

A few more agonizing minutes pass by, after which Maya steps out of the bathroom, and though it was unintended, I actually rush to her side, taking her by surprise.

"What happened?" I ask her, raising my eyebrows, my heart already pounding violently within my chest.

Maya gives me a look that is an amalgam of sadness and disappointment but with a faint hint of relief as well—a confusing set of emotions—as she looks down at her feet and shakes her head.

The tears that fall from her eyes and her evident sadness makes me realize that she isn't just toying around with Taehyung. She is serious about him and their relationship, so much to the point that she actually wants to start a family with him. This is something that I realized by spending some time with her, and the disappointment on her face right now when she learned that she isn't pregnant with his child just sealed the deal for me.

I was the same, but I don't want her life to become like mine. Ever.

I pull her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her shoulders, the heavy emotions boiling within me pouring out through my eyes as I hold her in my arms through her own tears of distress.

"That's okay, Maya. Please don't cry or feel bad. It will happen when it's meant to happen," I speak, miserably failing to suppress my tears.

"Taehyung knows I'm late this month, and I was actually thinking that I could be pregnant," Maya speaks shakily.

"Everything happens for a reason, Maya. You will be blessed soon," I pull away and dry my tears and so does she, nodding in acceptance. "Areum has been asking for a baby brother for so long, and I'm sure she'll be thrilled when it actually happens," I laugh a little while trying to help her loosen up, and she smiles as well.

"So that makes it three things to tell Taehyung when you go back to him," I tease her to lighten the mood a little more, earning a sad smile from her that makes me chuckle too.

I know she must be feeling weird and awkward that her expected pregnancy isn't actually a pregnancy, and that it had to be revealed to me first, which is probably why she is unable to make eye contact now.

"Don't feel weird that it is I who got to know it first. You should trust in timing, and I'm sure you'll be an amazing mother when that happens," I find it impossible to hold back the few tears that drip down, and at the moment I'm unsure if those are tears of heartbreak or tears of happiness—I choose to believe that it's the latter.

I'm happy for them.

She'd be an amazing mother to her future kids.

Her eyes finally find mine, and they speak volumes about the emotions swimming in their depths.

"You're such an amazing person, Jang-Mi. Thank you for understanding and being so supportive and kind. I'm thankful and lucky to have met you today and found a friend and a sister in you," Maya says in a voice so hoarse from all the crying.

"I could say the same. Let's go," I point towards the door, and then we both head outside to meet the doctors.

The doctors perform a few more examinations on Maya, and then they get her vitals checked, after which she is prescribed some drugs to help induce her periods this month, and then she is cleared to leave the emergency room.

Once outside, she attends a call from Taehyung, keeping her replies short, and then she turns to look at me after ending the call.

"Jang-Mi, it's really late, and Areum would be expecting you. So it's better that you head back home now. I have to collect my car from the café, so I'll take a taxi and go there now"

"Will you be okay going on your own?" I ask her just to be sure.

"I will. Thank you. Always stay in touch, okay?" She shows me her pinky finger, and I laugh softly, linking my pinky finger with hers and promising to always stay in touch with her.

"I promise"

We both then book separate taxis for ourselves, and Maya's taxi arrives first. I watch her climb into the taxi and leave the spot while waving to me, and at this moment, I feel so happy and relieved that my husband, the only man who was a part of my life for eight long years, is in safe hands, sharing his life and future with an amazing woman and being loved by the kindest person I have ever met. My happy tears are the clear proof of what I'm feeling within.

They deserve each other.

I have let him go, fully free to live his life as he wishes to, liberated from the suffocation called marriage, even though he didn't actually bother to wait for this.

By doing this, I have liberated myself too.

But even though my mind had let go of him a long time ago, my heart that once loved him with my everything still needs a lot of time and space to actually fully heal. I know that only I have to give myself all the love and support that I need to slowly push the memories of Taehyung and I that's engraved within my mind to an insignificant and inaccessible dark corner.

No, nothing has come to a stop in my life. In fact, this phase of my life is going to be a fresh start, without Taehyung, and a fresh start isn't always a new place or a new person. It's a mindset, and I have already attained it today.

The character that I relate to the most in this story is Jang-Mi, although there are significant parts of me in both Maya and Taehyung's characters as well.

💖

Published on : 05/27/2022