Maya

Our second cups of cold coffee remain untouched as Jang-Mi continues pouring her heart out while I listen to her with all my concentration.

"I did feel guilty about not being able to make enough money to help him with his efforts for our family, but he also never once felt bad about accusing me of being lazy and not wanting to work and earn just because he felt that I got used to the comfort of being a stay-at-home mom. Motherhood is the most underrated job on earth, Maya, and it sucks when your own husband doesn't acknowledge it as anything at all," finally, after what seems like eons, Jang-Mi's eyes lift to meet mine.

I lick my dry lips and nod before I speak to her.
"I can't agree more. I'm not a mother, but I can feel and understand how hard it is for anyone to keep doing something without receiving any encouragement from anyone in any form. You've been a very strong woman and an amazing mother, Jang-Mi. I have met Areum once, and only after seeing you here, I realized that she's your clone. She's a blessing, and I'm so proud of you for choosing her over everything else...your career, your marriage, money, comfort, everything else. I admire you for your courage and will. It's not easy at all to give up so many things," I speak in one stretch, my voice a little hoarse from being quiet for a long time.

She shakes her head a little with a small smile.
"It isn't so hard to make choices when it's for your own child. I never had second thoughts about giving up anything at all for her sake. She means the whole world to me," her eyes visibly light up when she begins talking about Areum, and it tells me how both Taehyung and Jang-Mi have loved and prioritized Areum over everything else, even over their own relationship—which is actually not the best they could have done, in my view.

We remain silent for a few seconds, after which Jang-Mi asks me,
"You told that you lost your partner. What happened?" She releases her hold on my hand since both our hands are starting to grow a little clammy.

"Yeah, I was married to my boyfriend of three years while I was still in college, and just one week into our marriage, my husband fell sick, and he was diagnosed with stage 3 bone cancer. Treatments didn't work well too, and his condition just kept getting worse, spreading into his bloodstream as well. He had a leg amputated, yet he pulled along for a while. But eventually, he gave up his fight one day, leaving me all by myself," I send a small smile her way when I see her gasping, her eyes going wide with shock.

"Just one week into your marriage? Oh my God! I'm so sorry to hear that. It must have been so hard for you," she gently pats the back of my hand, earning a few soft nods from me.

"It was. It was terrible watching him slowly die right in front of my eyes. He didn't deserve that at all. We really dreamed of a colorful future together, like almost everything was planned out and all. But life just had other brutal plans for us," I blink away a few tears that are threatening to spill.

"I felt that," Jang-Mi agrees. "Nothing ever happens as per our plans. It is almost like life and fate are always angrily waiting to rip apart all our plans. It makes no sense to plan out anything. I hope you're doing better now," she asks me softly.

"I'm doing much better. It has been twelve years already, and I've moved on too," I assure her with another smile, and she nods in understanding.

"Taehyung had mentioned about you when we first started dating. You were his first love in school, and he always told nice things about you which sometimes made me a little jealous, but I wasn't worried much because back then, everything was just love and happiness among the two of us," Jang-Mi pauses for a breath and then she continues speaking.

"I actually doubted that he was, maybe, seeing another guy because one morning he came back home dressed in some unfamiliar man's clothes," she chuckles a little.

"Oh... those were my late husband's clothes," I respond awkwardly.

Jang-Mi nods a few times.
"Yeah, I realized it just now," she sucks in a relaxed breath and exhales slowly. "Even now, I don't think it is entirely his fault or mine. We have both made a lot of mistakes, and we just fell out of love and realized that we're not the best person for each other. This divorce is what is best for both of us to be at peace," she concludes with a small smile.

The level of maturity and wisdom in her words amazes me. She is truly a beautiful woman, inside and outside.

Taehyung is a beautiful soul too. His needs were unattended, his ways of coping with stress weren't entirely acceptable, and he felt lost too, and that is when we found each other.

But sometimes, some people are just not meant to be together, and if they feel that parting ways is what brings peace to them, then that is what they will choose. Accepting that is the hardest part, be it for them or for those concerning them.

That is exactly where Jang-Mi and Taehyung are.

"I never thought I would be talking to you this way," Jang-Mi laughs softly. "But I also never thought that you would be such an easy person to open up to. I really feel like I've known you forever, and I haven't ever felt that way even with the few friends that I have. I see now why Taehyung likes you so much, and I really think he has found the right person in you, Maya. I just hope you both talk things out and respect each other's thoughts and space at all times," her words are punctuated by a minute of profound silence where none of us know what to say to fill it in with.

It wasn't hard at all to get her to open up to me, and had Taehyung made the slightest effort to talk to her and understand her when she needed to be heard the most, they would have still been a happily married couple. And had Jang-Mi put aside her own troubles for even a little while and focused on Taehyung's problems, they could have worked as a couple.

If there's one big lesson that I've learned from them, it is undoubtedly the importance of communication and mutual respect and comfort in a relationship.

"Thank you for talking to me, Jang-Mi. Even though making friends isn't my best skill, I really want us to be friends who can share everything with each other," there was absolutely no pun intended in what I said.

"I already feel that you are a friend to me. I'm so glad that I didn't back out from this plan today. Thank you for being so warm and friendly, Maya. I really mean it," her smile melts my heart.

"You don't have to thank me. Call me anytime you feel like talking to me, and I hope I can do the same too?" My eyebrows raise in doubt, and she quickly dismisses it by nodding a few times.

"Of course, you can, and you should. You're like the friend I have been waiting for all my life," the playfulness in her tone makes me so soft for her.

But it also terribly pains me to see the way she quickly collected herself and accepted the naked reality right after pouring out her emotions, and it clearly tells me that she has been mentally preparing for the separation for a long time now. It is impossible otherwise.

Even though her mind is strong, her tears were proof of how soft and vulnerable her heart is.

And it kills me to think how many days and nights she must have spent in tears, all by herself.

"That means so much to me. What is Areum doing today? Is she at a friend's house?" I ask her, planting an elbow on the table and resting my jaw on my upturned palm.

"She's with my parents, and she'll be waiting for me," she checks the time on her phone. "Oh, my! It's 6 already? Time just flies," she declares, laughing as she puts her phone away.

We share the cost of our beverages, and just when I'm about to leave, Jang-Mi stops me.

"Tell Taehyung that I agree to have shared custody over Areum after our separation," her voice trails off, and my heart stops beating in shock, my eyes and mouth going wide open.

I was sure that the reason behind Jang-Mi choosing full custody over Areum was me. And although I originally hoped that I should be able to win her trust enough for her to be able to allow Taehyung have shared custody over Areum, after meeting her, I really feel that she would literally break into two if not for her daughter. And there can also be no replacement for a mother, ever.

"Jang-Mi, you've lived your life as a mother ever since you had Areum. You don't have to do this," I say, worry creeping into my voice.

"But what if I want to?" She takes two steps closer and stands facing me. "One thing is, I want this divorce without any further conflict. And second is, she needs us both because she loves us both immensely, and it would be unfair and selfish to have her all to myself," she smiles a little.

Jang-Mi adds,
"I was worried because I had no clue about you as a person. But now that I've met you, I know that I can trust you, Maya. It might take some time for Areum to learn to live away from me and Taehyung in the same house, but she will surely learn. She's smart, and to be fair and honest, Taehyung has also lived his life as her father ever since we had her," she pauses to dismiss her tears, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, and then she continues speaking.

"If we don't need each other anymore, it doesn't mean that Areum should also choose one of us. They're both so close to each other, and it's hard for him to stay away from her, and I don't want to deny him that one last thing he wants from me. But at the same time, I can't entirely give up on her too," she states the facts, quietly and confidently, sounding entirely sure of herself.

Right now, I'm feeling a myriad of various emotions swirling in the depths of my heart, and my heart actually aches for Jang-Mi who just made it clear to me that there can be no replacement for a father too.

"I don't want you to make any hurried decisions," I manage to say in a strangely calm voice.

"I might overthink this and still decide the same," she shrugs casually. "And whatever happens, she's still my baby, I will always be her mother, and Taehyung her father"

It is a moment of realization for me that there can always be ex-spouses, but there will never be ex-parents, ever.

I give her a tight-lipped smile, holding our gazes for a while before I nod in acceptance and bow to her, turning around to leave.

"When she's with you, just make sure she doesn't watch too much TV," Jang-Mi speaks from behind me, making me turn around to face her once again, only to find fresh tears welling up within her eyes.

"Jang-Mi," my shoulders drop as I go closer to her and take her hands in mine while she lets it all out.

"And she can't eat chocolates because of her sensitive stomach," she adds with a sad smile that somehow shows up despite her falling tears.

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a warm hug, and her whole body shudders and shakes as she cries in my hold.

My tears break free and pour out of my eyes when I feel the pain that she is experiencing. The pain of having to share someone who means the whole world to her. The pain of accepting an unwelcome change in her life. The pain that is piercing her heart.

"Jang-Mi, take this as my promise. I will never make you the bad parent in Areum's eyes. I will do everything in my capacity to raise her, along with you and Taehyung, just the way you have been doing all these years, and one day she will grow up to be the beautiful woman who you have always visualized her to be. I promise to do my best to help raise her in a way that will make you proud of her," I speak among my tears as I hold her close to me.

"I trust you, Maya. I trust you. I know you and Taehyung will take great care of her," she pulls away, wiping her tears and smiling a little.

"Thank you for allowing me to be a part of her world. I will live up to your trust and make you proud," I give her my word, making her smile grow a little bigger, also feeling a strange dizziness at the back of my head.

My vision gets a little blurry too, but I dismiss it as being a side effect of no proper food intake, and also crying. I shake my head and blink my eyes to clear up my eyesight.

"Also, tell Taehyung that I am happy for him. Like, genuinely happy that he found someone like you," her words suddenly sound distant and muffled to my ears, and it feels as though the whole world is whirling in circles around me.

I could feel my feet losing balance, but I'm unable to control it, and the next thing I know, I crash somewhere, unable to respond to Jang-Mi as she repeatedly keeps calling out my name, the sound of which keeps reducing in intensity and finally becomes nothing.

And then my eyes close and darkness and silence surrounds me.

Please, I'm shipping these two so hard.
🥰😫🤧

Published on : 05/26/2022