Maya

"What?" Taehyung's eyes go wide, and the tone of his voice perfectly aligns with the shock he feels upon hearing what I just said.

"Yeah, but why is it shocking, though? We never used any protection, did we?" I ask him, quite surprised by his reaction, and he lowers his head a little, nodding.

"I'm not sure what it is, but I have a feeling that it could be something," an untimely smile creeps up my lips as I speak.

"When did you know?" Taehyung asks; his eyes lifting to look at me, making my eyes land on him.

"I'm late by a week, and I have no symptoms of an incoming period," I answer him, hoping that it should be a pregnancy.

But I get it why he might be feeling a little weird, considering the poor timing of this missed period right in the midst of his divorce proceedings.

He remains silent, but I know that something is probably running within his mind.

"I even got drunk a day before I was supposed to start my period, and that's what troubles me," I add worriedly.

Taehyung exhales in an exhausted manner.
"Should we wait, Maya?" His voice deepens as he begins chewing his lips, and he looks at me with a lot of worry and anxiety.

"We have to," I nod my head a few times. "Because today, I want to meet Jang-Mi, and I don't want anything else to preoccupy my thoughts. Let's wait until I'm done meeting her," I respond decisively while I type out a text message to Jang-Mi and get out of bed, pushing this topic away for a better time.

***

A few hours later,
"Maya, I still think this is a bad idea," Taehyung speaks in a concerned manner as he paces the length of the room while I fix my hair and check my reflection in the mirror.

Taehyung plops down at the edge of the bed and pushes his hair back with both his hands. Moving my gaze to him, I notice how tired and worked-up he looks—the worst he has looked in these past few months that we've been together.

Meeting Jang-Mi might put me at a dead end and probably not help with anything at all, but one thing that I'm confident about is that I'm not aiming for an outcome from today's meeting.

Jang-Mi is a woman, a mother, and a wife who must also be going through a very hard phase in life right now with the divorce proceedings and separation from Taehyung. Even though Taehyung seems cool and confident about the divorce, I can still feel the prick within his chest.

It is draining him, making him feel bad. And I'm pretty sure Jang-Mi must be feeling extremely distraught too; she has lived as his wife and a mother for so many years, after all.

I don't have a say in anything regarding their divorce, but the only thing I can do is to listen to them and be a board for both of them to let out their feelings and frustration. Through this hard phase of their lives, I only want them both to understand that there's someone who will always listen to them.

At least if I meet her today and hear her out, somewhere in a corner of my mind, I'm hoping that the guilt which is killing me from the inside would reduce, even if it'd be by just a small margin.

I sit down close beside Taehyung on the bed, placing a hand on his thigh and keeping my eyes on my hand.

"Taehyung, she must be having a hard time too. No matter how hard and bad your marriage with her has been, I don't think I can just watch her suffer like that. I'm already feeling so guilty about everything. You have me, but I don't know if she has someone she can talk to, and today, I'm not going to mediate or convince or accuse her. I would never do any of that. I only want to listen to her and be there for her," my eyes lift to meet Taehyung's troubled ones.

He sighs deeply, the torment swimming in his irises makes my heart wrench.

"Maya, I don't know what to say, and I know you're not going to change your mind. I'll wait for you to come back," he wraps his cold fingers around my hand and gives it a light squeeze, his voice and eyes reflecting the turbulence within his chest like a mirror.

"Thank you for understanding," I give him a smile, hoping to at least fade the small lines of worry on his face.

I lean closer and kiss him, and Taehyung reciprocates in the most delicate and soft manner with a kiss that feels like an assurance that we fully trust each other.

"Take care," he whispers in his raspy baritone as he leans back with his eyes on me.

"I will," I reassure him with a smile. "I'll leave now, and don't call me until I do it myself. I'll be safe, so don't keep worrying about me, okay?" I ruffle his hair, earning a soft chuckle and a reluctant nod from him.

Twenty minutes later, I walk into the café that I chose to meet Jang-Mi at. When I texted her earlier today, I was unsure if she would agree to meet me, and she even turned down the meeting at first. But then she got back to me after a few hours to tell me that the meeting would happen.

And so, here I am.

To meet the wife of the man in my life. The mother of his daughter. The woman who is losing her partner, just like I did many years ago, though not in a similar way, yet I'm sure the emotions would be our common ground.

I have seen Jang-Mi in a few photos that Taehyung showed me on his phone, and so I have no difficulty in locating her inside the café.

As I approach the table, I brace myself for the accusations and probably even the curses that await me.

Jang-Mi's eyes find me when I'm close enough to the table, and I'm sure she recognizes me because she has seen me.

With and without clothes.

"Hi, did you arrive early?" I smile at her as I check my watch; my fingers are suddenly trembling, and my heart begins thudding rapidly, my confidence apparently threatening to flee the place.

"Hi, no. I came in just five minutes ago," her piercing stare is actually making me a little nervous. "Sit down," she points to the seat facing her, and I do so, bowing lightly.

"Do you want to get something to eat or drink?" Jang-Mi asks me as I keep my eyes on her, observing every little thing about her.

"What about you?"

"I'll order a cold coffee," Jang-Mi announces, pushing the menu card to a corner of the table.

I can see why Taehyung fell in love with her. She looks adorable, delicate, and the motherly aura that surrounds her is already making me feel safe around her.

Now that I see her more closely, I realize that Areum, in fact, looks more like Jang-Mi and not like Taehyung. I could picture a smaller version of her almost as a twin sister to Areum. They look stunningly similar.

"I'll have the same," I reply, causing her eyes to shift to me.

"Why am I surprised?" She chuckles sarcastically, shaking her head. "Of course, you'd want to have what I have. It has become a habit, hasn't it?" She mocks, rolling her eyes at me.

I prepared myself for hearing such things.

However, I can't find my voice at the moment, and silence is what fills the air until our beverages arrive.

"So, what is this meeting about?" Jang-Mi doesn't beat around the bush as she licks the coffee foam off her lips and places her cup on the table, her eyes flickering to my face.

"I wanted to get to know you, Jang-Mi. As a friend, as a woman, as someone who cares about your wellbeing," I use my words without hesitation, not worried about what might come my way.

I made a choice to keep Taehyung in my life, and to be a part of his life, knowing fully well that he already had a family beside him. And no matter what, I will stand by my choice, strong and tall.

Jang-Mi has made a choice too, and if my inner instincts are right, she didn't rush into it either. She has definitely given it a lot of thought.

Today, I only want her to speak her heart out to me while I listen to her.

"Within your mind, Taehyung has probably already painted me as a heartless woman, a useless wife, and a horrible mother. So why do you bother about getting to know me now? Are you here to mock me?" She questions me in a weary tone, her tired eyes communicating more than what her words do.

"I've never allowed myself to form any opinions about you in my head, based on just what Taehyung has told me. I would never do that. And I'm not trying to make a point or compare the two of us. That's not my intention, and it never has been," I keep my eyes on her as I speak with confidence.

Jang-Mi tilts her head to one side, her stare, though intense, doesn't do much to hide the pain that her heart holds within.

"Let's just talk as two strangers who are here to know each other better. Let's get Taehyung out of the scene today," I reach out to hold her hand in mine, taking her by surprise.

"I know how hard it must be for you," my eyes stay on my hand that's holding hers now, and my voice softens. "This divorce and the heartbreak and everything that you've been going through... Do you want to put aside all our differences and bitterness and talk to me? Pour out, cry, laugh...whatever you want to do. I don't want you to go through this alone," my eyes meet her widened eyes that have a lot of doubt crossing her expression.

"Why?" Is all that comes out of Jang-Mi's mouth, in an almost shaky and breathy whisper.

"Jang-Mi," I hold her hand inside both my hands, smiling as my gaze drops to our hands once again. "I've been there before. I've lost a partner, and there was no one for me to share anything with. There were so many times where I wanted to cry it out to someone, talk to someone or just wanted someone by my side to lean on. But there was no one, and it took me so many years to pull myself together and get back on my feet," I pause for a breath, still holding her hand, and she isn't reciprocating my gesture, but I don't allow that to affect my spirits.

"I want you to be heard, and I don't want you to cry alone without anyone to share your thoughts and pain with. I know you've done that for a long time now, but now I want you to know that, Taehyung or not, I'm always here for you. As a friend, as a sister... I'm not a bad person, Jang-Mi," I have no idea how my voice suddenly cracks and why my eyes begin to sting with the upwelling tears.

Jang-Mi dips her neck, her gaze lowers to her lap, and then I see her biting down on her lip, giving up the struggle to hold in her pain and finally letting it flow out through her eyes.

She keeps nodding slowly, drying her tears with one hand while the fingers of her other hand slowly curl to take hold of my hand.

It takes her a lot of strength to raise her head to look at me, and she smiles a little among her tears that are still spilling.

I manage a smile but I don't ask her to calm down or not to cry because I want her to know that I'm a safe place for her to let out her deepest emotions and not feel bad about it ever. Taehyung may or may not have made her feel that way—he most probably didn't. But I'm not him, and I want her to feel safe with me. I only sit by and offer comforting strokes to her hand as her whimpers finally settle down.

Handing her a few tissues from the tissue holder on our table, I pass her the glass of cold coffee, and she takes it happily, gulping down the remainder of her beverage while I do the same with mine.

Jang-Mi dabs the corners of her mouth with a tissue and exhales deeply before she begins speaking.

"Taehyung and I met at a wedding, eight years ago. It was almost like love at first sight for me," she chuckles softly, her cheeks sporting a faint shade of pink, and I can't help but smile at her cuteness.

"But I was speechless when he first approached me and asked me out for a date. I felt tremors in my legs when he spoke to me the first time. His aura was just too powerful and magnetic," she reminisces with a sweet smile that's refusing to leave her lips, the shyness still sitting pretty on her face.

"Our first date was so awkward, or at least I behaved weirdly, and I couldn't even look into his eyes for five seconds straight. But he was daring and confident. He never spoke much, but I liked that. He communicated even without using words...and that really made me feel so comfortable with him because I always find it hard to talk too expressively," a drop of tear slides down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away, sniffing back the remaining tears before they could spill.

"And then one thing led to another, and soon we were madly in love. We got married in a simple ceremony, but life with him was so beautiful. We made lots of memories together and we even made Areum," she laughs a little even as her chin quivers and her tears flow endlessly.

I offer a light squeeze to her hand while fighting my own tears from falling—a few still triumphing over my strong will to hold them in.

"She was born five weeks before her given due date. I had post-partum depression and anxiety issues, and with Taehyung so busy at work, I had a hard time handling everything in my life by myself. Things between us started changing after her birth, and we slowly drifted apart, and I strongly feel that we both rushed into everything as if there's no tomorrow... be it the marriage or becoming parents, everything happened too quickly, and it could probably be where we actually went wrong," Jang-Mi nods a little, lifting her eyebrows, and all this while she hasn't been looking at my eyes. She has only been keeping her gaze down on our hands or on her lap.

Now, this makes my stomach twist. Even though Taehyung and I aren't in a hurry with anything, it would still be a blatant lie if I said that the thought of things falling apart like this in my own life doesn't scare me.

"There were so many times when I used to want to talk to someone, when I was expecting some words of appreciation or encouragement to keep me going. But I never received any of it, and it killed my spirits. And after becoming a family woman, it was nearly impossible to keep in touch with friends, which further added to my misery," she says softly.

I'm no expert at relationships because I haven't been in one for long enough, but right now I can see that the problem in Taehyung and Jang-Mi's relationship is out in the light. There has been no communication or efforts to communicate, and mutual comfort between the couple has been non-existent, and it has practically killed their marriage today.

They closed off from each other, and gave up trying.

Beyond the bond of marriage, they have totally failed to work on their bond as best friends, own up to their own emotions, and be there for each other when they both needed it the most, at different points of time.

It is also ironic how we feel so comfortable in opening up to strangers, but we expect our closest people to read our emotions just like that, and it is these unrealistic expectations that eventually causes disappointment and frustration.

Taehyung had some complaints in his marriage, and Jang-Mi seems to have the exact same complaints too. They both have felt unappreciated, unheard and unloved. Had they both made some efforts to openly talk about it or even argued and fought dirty over this, it would have made their lives so much better.

However, it is still a very human thing to want to start afresh than to fix the mess you've already created. The latter takes a lot of effort and also involves things like giving up on your useless pride and ego, which not everyone will do so easily.

This, and the next two are among my top favorite chapters in this book.
💖

And, I have something to say.
🤓🎤

*taps mic*

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys. Unless you're Joanna, and you've found your Taehyung, do not expect your partner to magically understand what's on your mind. COMMUNICATE!
iykyk

Published on : 05/25/2022