Maya

It has been a week and six days since I last saw Taehyung.

And it would be a horrible lie if I say that I haven't been crying over our high school pictures every night since he left; the sadness that crossed his eyes still haunting my mind.

My mind is totally restless with thoughts about Taehyung and his life, and to think that he has been struggling in his marriage yet holding himself together for the sake of his daughter and the society is actually very sad and depressing.

He deserves to live better.

But does that ever justify his need to seek comfort from a woman other than his wife? No matter how precious the other woman has been in his life. No, it isn't acceptable at all.

If his wife does the same to him, would he take it easy?

I bet not.

If I were his wife, would I be okay to share him with another woman?

The fuck!? No way!

But I also debate with myself that if I were his wife, would I allow a small drift between us to widen into this colossal gorge that he feels cannot be bridged anymore? Never.

Never would I have let that happen.

But I also don't know her reasons for letting this happen, and with my vision of just one side of the situation, I wouldn't ever judge her at any cost. Even though the man in question is the same person, his wife is not me, and I am not her, and she must definitely have her own solid reasons for being this way, which not everyone would understand.

As much as I try to put myself in his wife's place and convince myself that everything Taehyung and I did together was totally wrong, and the feelings that we have for each other is completely forbidden, my mind also keeps pushing me to put myself in his shoes because I like him a lot, above and beyond everything else.

Though he's an adult man who is expected to keep himself together at all times, he still needs reassurance and support, and most of all, lots of love, just like everyone else on earth.

And what would anyone do when 'they feel' that the doors in their marriage are all sealed shut? When they 'no longer believe' that they could receive anything at all from those closed doors? Would they not want to open another window or break a wall to let the air and light in?

That's what he did to relieve his suffocation. To breathe in some air into his strangled lungs. And I completely understand that it wasn't just a physical need because the first time, though we got a little physical, he wasn't really trying to have sex with me.

The way Taehyung curled up to me that night, fearlessly being his most vulnerable self in my arms, and just thinking about that night still melts my heart, and it makes me miss him even more. I feel the increasing urge to have him close and give him everything he deserves—love, kindness, strength, attention, the whole world.

I haven't texted him or called him ever since that incident at my home, and neither has he contacted me, but every cell of my whole living being wishes that he should still be thinking about me. Is it wrong?

I mean, I don't even know what is right or wrong anymore.

The rational part of my mind keeps telling me that this is the end for us, and that he must take care of himself and his life on his own. But the irrational part of my mind which is governed by my heart and my feelings for him is whispering to me that I should always keep him close and never let him go, ever.

In the end, it is usually my heart that wins the crown, and it terribly scares me at this point.

My head hurts as my thoughts keep me floating away to distant places while I mindlessly twirl around the Rubik's cube in my hand, and that's when my desk phone decides to blare and bring me back to earth; the ringing noise seemingly amplifying the throb within my skull.

"Yeah?" I answer carelessly, rubbing my aching temples with my fingers.

"Miss. Harris, there's a combined dinner planned for tonight for the talent acquisition team and the claims team. Please plan accordingly," my manager informs me.

Claims team? NO WAY!!!

"What is this dinner for?" I bolt up in my seat, and my eyes widen, but I try to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"It is a retirement dinner for one of the senior claims directors and a farewell dinner for two members from the talent acquisition team. The other details will be shared in the group chat," she ends the call without waiting for my response, and it also means that I'm expected to attend the dinner, without a choice.

No, I wasn't expecting this tonight. But was I actually expecting to live without facing him again? Ever?

I really don't know.

But one thing I know for sure is that there's going to be a lot of tension and awkwardness between us at the dinner tonight.

My life, really!
Shit! I have no idea how to handle this.

The details about the dinner rings in the group chat while I'm driving back home. I hate socializing, and work dinners are a nightmare, to be honest. Especially with the situation at hand, I could already feel the bitter bile building up in the pit of my stomach.

Taehyung

Wrong timing, wrong place once again. Here I am, at the combined team dinner when everything else in my life is horribly screwed up.

Nothing that anyone says reaches my brain, and my eyes are constantly flitting between the barely familiar faces at the table and the entrance to the restaurant, expecting Maya to walk in any moment now and join the group at the table.

I keep praying that she shouldn't skip this dinner because the only reason I am here tonight is to meet her and try to talk it out with her.

The past two weeks were supposed to be the happiest phase of my life with the 'new job, new me' thing. But it hasn't exactly been that, and the heartbreak that I've been experiencing cannot be put into words.

It feels as though no one needs me anymore—not Maya, not Jang-Mi—no one needs me, except my daughter. At least she demands my company at most times, which is the only thing that has kept me sane and surviving from slipping into depression.

It has been almost fifteen minutes since most of the members of both the teams arrived, but Maya is yet to show up, and I am fighting my hands from sending her a text message to find out if she is coming.

If she isn't, then it makes no sense for me to remain here, but just as I'm staring at my phone, my thumb hovering above the screen as I keep contemplating my next move, I hear a few men at the table calling out her name.

"Miss. Harris!" One of them waves to her, and then my eyes shoot up to land on her.

She strolls in, with her killer gaze fixed on me, and at that moment I don't notice anything else but her eyes. They're powerful, demanding my complete attention and making me want to surrender under her gaze.

"Hey, guys!" Maya gives a vague smile, her eyes briefly leaving mine but quickly returning to me.

I swallow thickly, watching her as she takes a seat across the table right opposite to me, still staring at me.

Should I smile? Should I greet her?

But before I could decide what to do, most of the people at the table start to dwindle away one by one to pick up food from the buffet, leaving very few of us at the table, including Maya and I.

Taking this opportunity, I move to the seat at the head of the long table without any hesitation—the one that's positioned next to hers on the left—and settle in it, dragging my chair closer to the table.

Maya drags her chair closer to the table too, causing her knees to collide with mine; her eyes suddenly too shy to look at me.

"I missed you, Maya," I confess in a deep whisper; my eyes not leaving her beautiful face, but she still isn't looking at me.

She's nibbling the corners of her lips and taking in deep breaths before her eyes lift to look at me.

"I missed you too, Taehyung," her hand reaches my knee under the table, taking me by surprise.

"Maya, I-, you look beautiful," I whisper again, holding her hand in mine under the table and lacing my fingers through her slender ones.

I feel spellbound and hypnotized, and I don't even understand what I'm talking or doing at the moment.

"You look stunning too," Maya laughs softly, holding my hand tighter, earning a smile from me.

"Do you want to go get some dinner?"

"Yeah," she nods a little. "And you?"

"I do, let's go," I rise from my seat and wait for her to join me.

Maya walks by my side, matching my pace as we head towards the wide array of dishes placed in food warmers lining the walls of the restaurant.

Tonight she's wearing a short baby pink dress, nothing like the green one that is etched in my mind, but she looks gorgeous in this one too. There is something about Maya and dresses that makes me so weak, just like now.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my plate, and I'm just following her around like a puppy as she picks up random dishes and places some of it on my plate as well after asking me if I want to have it.

If she wants it, I want it too.

Back at the table, we sit close to each other, and there is not much talking that happens. I still feel hungry even though there is a plate full of dishes, right in front of me, waiting to be devoured by me.

"Why aren't you eating?" Maya asks me after a while.

"I want to talk to you," I give her an answer that's irrelevant to the question, but it's actually the only thing that's relevant to me now.

Her eyes lazily shift to lock with mine, and she tilts her head to the side.

"Let's make a deal," she stirs a bit in her seat. "We can talk if you eat up," she suddenly sounds like my mom, but if that's what it takes to talk to her, then I'm all in for downing the whole plate of food.

Smirking, I nod my head a few times and begin eating my food while she laughs softly and gets back to her plate of food.

"Everyone! May I have your attention for a few minutes?" One of the men at the table stands up from his seat and grabs everyone's attention by clapping his hands and speaking in a loud voice.

"We have two new employees who have joined us recently in the claims team, and I want to introduce them to all of you," he speaks again, much louder this time.

The alcohol is surely kicking his vocal cords.

"Mr. Kim, and Miss. Kwon," he points to the two of us, and we rise from our seats, bowing a little to everyone else at the table.

"Mr. Kim," another older woman calls out to me. "Let's hear what your short-term and long-term goals are," she sounds as if she is ready to conduct another round of interview right here.

"Oh, his long-term goal is to be me," the old man from my interview laughs hysterically, forcing me to emit an uneasy smile.

My eyes wander to Maya, who keeps her gaze strong on me, confidently leaning back in her seat and waiting for me to talk.

"Yeah, that's my long-term goal," I laugh a little. "And my short-term goal would be to buy a car for myself," I speak with my eyes on Maya, and it feels to me as if she is my only audience. I don't bother about anyone else at the table.

She nods her head, impressed, as seen from her eyebrows that raise a little and return to their place.

Fortunately, no one else chooses to embarrass me or prod and probe me with more questions. The dinner, however, seems to keep going on forever.

Maya isn't taking any alcohol, and she isn't really speaking to anyone, yet no one seems to leave her alone. Someone or the other just keeps talking to her, and I'm here too, desperately waiting to talk to her.

My patience ends soon, and I decide to make a move to get her to leave the dinner table so that I could earn some privacy to talk to her.

I place a hand on her knee, tracing up her inner thigh with my fingers. Her eyes move to me when my fingertips touch her fingers that are resting on her lap. I never realize how short her dress is until I keep gliding my hand up her thigh and don't feel any fabric for quite a few long inches.

The touch stirs something within me, making a strange, yet familiar heat to spread from the pit of my stomach all over my body in waves, and every little hair fiber in my body stands on its end. And it seems to have done the same to her.

Maya clears her throat and rises from her seat, bidding a quick goodbye to everyone in common. I follow suit and leave the table soon after she does.

Jogging to catch up with her, I notice that she's not walking towards the hotel's exit. She's headed towards the open lawn at the back of the hotel, and I follow her. Maya knows that I'm right behind her, and it brings a little pep to my steps.

"Maya," I finally hold her wrist and bring her steps to a halt as soon as we step into the dewy, manicured lawn.

I twirl her around, and her hands come to land on my chest, her eyes finding mine, not even blinking.

"I'm sorry about the other night, and I really wanted to talk to you about it earlier, but when you were literally in tears while talking about your marriage, I just couldn't pour out my mis-" her lips don't let me finish speaking, abruptly crashing on mine, her hands locking around my neck as she rises to her toes and kisses me with her everything.

It takes a few seconds for me to get my head out of the clouds and reciprocate her kiss with matching enthusiasm levels.

Maya breaks the kiss first, speaking against my lips.
"Don't apologize," she pecks my lips again, gripping tighter onto a fistful of hair at the back of my head while my hands pull her hips flush against my body.

"I want to be there for you every time you need me for anything...." she slowly places her heels back on the ground and glides her hands down to my shoulders.

"Maya?" My mouth hangs open, and my heart begins pounding heavily. "Are you sure about it? I don't want you to regret anything ever," my eyes search her eager eyes for an answer as my trembling hands delicately hold her waist.

"I'm sure, more than sure," she nods in confirmation, allowing her fingers to slip back into my hair and draw patterns on my scalp.

This moment feels out-worldly, and it suddenly feels to me as if my dark and cold world just got a brand new sun. Everything around me seems bright and beautiful.

"I can't wait to live, Maya. I've barely been surviving," I confess in a deep whisper, and she smiles softly, her eyes twinkling as she thrusts her hips on mine, eliminating the little space between our lower halves.

"So, do you want to buy a car for yourself, Mr. Kim?" She quirks a brow naughtily, her tone screaming mischief as her fingertip teases the spot below my ear, outlining my jaw.

"I do," I confirm, tracing a finger up her exposed arm and shoulder, all the way up to the side of her neck, gently flicking her crystal danglers with my fingertip, watching them sparkle as they dance.

"Mhm?"

"And I want to make love to you in my new car, nice and slow...." my voice drops an octave lower as my lips find the spot at the base of her neck in tender kisses that makes her pull my hair, letting out soft moans.

"I need you, right now," her chest heaves, and her voice lowers as she yanks my head back to meet my eyes, making my insides churn.

"I need you too," I give her waist a firm squeeze on both sides, making her lips part.

"I can't wait for long," Maya chuckles a little as she turns me around and pushes me forward by placing both her hands on my lower back.

I wasn't expecting any of this tonight, but I also want her to know that every word that I have ever spoken to her is true, and that my love for her is strong and real.

The next few minutes are spent in booking a room for us to spend the night. I'm extremely nervous and so excited that I'm barely able to fill the details in the check-in form without dropping the pen at least four times.

This may not be what most of you wanted or expected, but this is what the characters choose to do.

Do not judge her for choosing him.
❤

And, you know what's next, don't you?
😉🍿

Aaaahhh! This man!
💓💓💓💓💓

Published on : 05/07/2022