March 16

Pain, such a weird thing. A cut from the thorn of a rose brings pain but so does a papercut. A wound from a sharp shard of glass brings in pain as well but the beauty of the shard covered in crimson, sometimes erases it completely.

So, what does pain even qualify as? How much blood should be spilt, How much tears should be shed before,

I can ask for help?

×××

Simply said, I don't know what pain feels like. The sting left by a slap faded away long ago yet the tears till this day, don't stop. When something hits me, it doesn't hurt because I am too used to it. Yet, I don't know why I still cry.

Even if everything is alright and I'm no longer hurt, these treacherous tears don't stop brimming behind my eyes and then dripping down my cheeks.

But, even though I want these tears to stop, sometimes I find myself wondering, how that pain would feel like?
Is it somehow related to the amount of blood you have shed or the tears that you have cried because if so, shouldn't someone have saved me by now?

Because doesn't everyone consider bleeding, broken and crying people as victims?

Everybody says that I'm the most cheerful, positive person they have ever met but to be honest, I think that's the biggest lie but I can't blame them for it because when you have to act nice for people to like you.

It feels kinda comforting y when people get close because then I can dream of a future so bright that I just want to end all of this now. So, even in my last moments I can dream of a beautiful future.

I met tons of people till now, some nice and caring, some scary and bad. Yet, I can't help but feel there is no one, who is more worse than me.

Maybe, I feel this way, because I have never liked myself even for a minute.

Closing the door behind me, blocks out the screams and sound of things breaking, somewhat at least. With a sigh, I push my hair back with my fingers before falling face first on the bed.

My heaven.

I could feel my eyes get watery or should I say, I could feel that I was going to cry. My eyes felt heavy and unfallen tears blurred my vision but I could not cry.

No, I should not cry because if I cry now, everything I promised to myself would be a lie.

With shaking hands, I press the open button of my phone and watch as it turns on, revealing my familiar black wallpaper and the various notifications. Clicking on the notifications, I swipe through the usual notifications of updates, payments and more before closing the app and opening another.

The app loads before revealing smiling photos of people, each picture capturing a more happier moment than the last. The same people appeared in each and every picture but their locations were different.

I swipe through all of them till I stop at one. A brown haired girl sat on a red couch holding a small pillow against her as she stared with annoyance at the black haired boy sitting beside her on a wooden stool as he grinned.

A photo of two of my best friends, a photo that always comforts me because it was at that moment, when I looked at them. I knew that maybe even if something goes wrong and one day if I'm no longer here, they will be the only ones to notice, to even care.

Before long, I started imagining my own death, it was peaceful, painless. Yet, I don't know why tears brimmed in my eyes and before long they were dripping down my cheeks.

A message notification appeared on my blurred phone screen, making me wipe away my tears with my thumb and click on it. The message came from an all too familiar person, who had an anime boy pfp smirking while holding a card which contrasted with the name I saved them under.

Guardian Angel.

He sent no written message, only a picture. Clicking on the picture, I see it load before it reveals few lines written on a light purple background.

My lips turned upwards and before long, I was smiling and blushing like an idiot, the sadness of the previous moment forgotten as I felt the happiness bubble in my chest.

‘Thankyou’ I typed before deleting it and changing it to ‘You are really sweet too’

Their response came immediately, not missing a single beat. ‘I know’ it said and I could imagine him with his usual smirk as he leaned his head on his blank canvas while holding a paintbrush in his other hand.

He is always sarcastic, arrogant and annoying. Yet, there are times when he becomes someone else entirely, someone wise, caring and gentle. And his timing, I don't know how he does it but he's somehow always there when I need him.

My phone vibrates again playing the ringtone of my favourite song, the instrumental version of the song "Where should we go?"

“Hello.” He said, in his usual honeyed voice.

“Hey.” I replied, wiping off the stray tears with my sleeve.

“Mhm… What are you doing?” He asked, before there was gentle this from his side.

“Nothing, Why did you call?” I asked, as I pulled my sleeves further down so that I could hold it in my hands.

“Just wanted to hear your voice.” He answered, his voice getting low before I heard the sound of something falling which made him curse under his breath.

“I see.” I replied, plouping down on my bed as I looked at the mirror in front of me and raised my leg up to admire my red socks before sniffling.

“Why didn't you come yesterday? You forced me and Es to come yet disappeared yourself.” He questioned, the sound of something sharpening followed it.

“Mom and Dad started fighting again,” I said with a sigh “and Tom was here yesterday, aunty d-dropped him off here because she had to go out of town and I couldn't exactly leave a kid alone with two adults who have a habit of fighting and throwing g-glass objects at each other.” I continued, twirling my blonde hair around my finger as I spoke, my voice cracking here and there.

“That's a pity. I hope they stop doing that soon.” He said, the sound of something being put down following.

“They haven't stopped in all my sixteen years so for them to stop now would be a miracle.” I said, chuckling bitterly.

“True, Oh, by the way Mary dropped off some brownies this evening and you know I don't like sweets so do you want them?” He asked, thoughtfully.

“OF COURSE!!” I screamed happily before covering the microphone of my phone with my hand and whispering “Are you sure? Cause I don't want you after my life, saying that I stole them.”

Silence descend on our conversation. A kind of silence that made me scared and feel bad for bringing in the silence and a kind of silence that had me anticipating his next move. The silence stretched over who knows how long, only to be broken by the sound of him laughing.

“Of course, Of course, you can take them and don't worry, I won't do that.” He said, chuckling.

“Okay! Thank you.” I said, gratefully.

“Sure thing.” He replied, before going back to his work.

Another silence descended over us, this one softer and not awkward. And before long, I had fallen asleep listening to the soothing sound of the pencil against paper as he created something.

And for the first time in a while, even the sound of screaming did not wake me up at night.

×××

Angels, mythical beings that serve God and guide strayed souls to the right path and save them. Before this moment, I always believed that they weren't true but the most ironic thing about fate is that you always find out about things too late.

Like how you always know that a fruit is rotten after you cut it, the same thing happened with me because I did not expect to see an angel when I had given up hope, when I had given up on everything. But they say that in times like these it's not always the angels that come to help but the creatures from hell as well.

They look like angels, breathtaking and pure and trick you with their sweet honeyed words, forcing you into a twisted contract with your own soul at stake for momentarily pleasure.

As I looked up at his midwinter grey eyes looking back at me, it felt like he might be the angel or the devil in disguise but I knew whatever it was that he is, he might save me.

But I don't know about this either among many other things I don't know, this was one of them.

The question of whether he was an angel or a demon because demons were mostly the only thing I had seen so far and the thing about how they all appeared is same.

With honeyed words, beautiful dreams and promises that promised my freedom....

X-X

1559 words.....

Hewoo!!

Nia's Pov's are so hard to write, I swear to God.

but at least we are back to Esme from next chapter!

Also who's your favourite character so far?? 👀

Have a good day or night!
~Mei