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I did end up walking home after the dinner disaster. By the time I reached my grandmother's house, my feet were sore from the red pumps that Julie made me buy. I kicked them off once I entered through the front door. Then I went upstairs and pulled on a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt that used to be my father's that had the letters NYPD written in block letters across the front. After that, I headed out the door to go to the hospital.

I decided to walk to the hospital. I didn't have a car and I wasn't a fan of the old beat up Ford that had belonged to my grandfather, which my grandmother had refused to give away. I had driven that car once and nearly crashed it into a stop sign because the breaks decided to stop working. I remembered Carter and I trying to fix it up the summer before senior year. It had been so long ago...

Before I knew it, I was in front of the hospital. I knew this town so well, even after six years of being away from it. I could walk to any shop or landmark with my eyes closed and I would reach there just fine. It had become habit, and sometimes, habits just don't go away.

I walked into the Cardiology unit and went to the front desk. The woman at the front desk looked like a surly woman, with her hair pulled back tightly at the back of her neck and her lips stained a dark red color. When I asked to see my grandmother, she snapped at me.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over," the woman said.

"Please, I'm just here to see my grandmother. I'm having a really rough night and I don't want to be alone," I said.

"Then find yourself a man, ma'am. It's hospital policy," the woman replied curtly. I glared at her, frowning.

"That was extremely rude. I'd like to speak to a manager," I said.

"That would be the administrator of this hospital, and unfortunately for you, she's gone home for the evening," she replied, a slight evil curl to her lips. She was enjoying the fact that she was winning this little argument.

"I'll have you know that I'm a lawyer at a very big law firm in the city and I can have you sued out of that expensive little suit of yours in an instant. So I suggest you let me see my grandmother before this hospital suffers because of your rudeness," I threatened.

"On what grounds would you sue us?" she scoffed.

"For lying," I said.

"And how is that?" she asked.

I plucked a pamphlet about the hospital from the container on the wall and opened it up.

"Well, according to this hospital's mission statement, everyone that works here takes pride in making everyone at this hospital feel comfortable. And well, I'm here and at this hospital and I feel anything but comfortable, all because of you," I said. Now it was her turn to frown.

"You have one hour," she grunted. I gave her a bitter smile and shut the pamphlet. I handed it to her.

"You enjoy that," I said and then walked off towards my grandmother's room. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that her light was on. Knocking, I went inside, shutting the door behind me.

Grammy was sitting up, the light by her bed on. She was reading a book, as usual, peering over her spectacles instead of using them to read. She looked up when I walked in and raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Arya? What on earth are you doing here at this hour?" she asked.

"I wanted to talk to you," I replied, sitting down at the foot of her bed.

"How did the staff let you in?" she asked. She gasped, placing a hand over her heart. "You didn't bribe them, did you?" she questioned.

"No! Of course not!" I exclaimed. She let out a sigh of relief. "I threatened them," I said smoothly with a smirk.

"Arya Elizabeth Hansen!" she scolded.

"Oh, save it, Grammy. I'm a lawyer in training. If I can't use my skills for things like this, then I might as well switch careers," I said.

"So much for justice," she said, closing her book and setting it on her side table.

"It's unjust that they don't let family visit after a certain hour, if you ask me," I said. Grammy simply shook her head at me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked. I shrugged, looking down at the white blanket that covered her up. "Arya?" she prodded.

"I went to dinner with Julie and Carter," I told her.

"And?" she asked.

"And he took us to the same restaurant we had our first real date in," I said.

"Oh, honey," she said, frowning accordingly.

"And it wouldn't have been as terrible as it was, but he was acting really immature tonight," I said.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"I mean, I deserved it, but he didn't have to say it in front of Julie," I said, ignoring my grandmother's question.

"What did he say?" she repeated.

"Just how I'm a cold and heartless person that hated this town which is why I left," I replied.

"Did he really say that or are you exaggerating?" she asked.

"He actually said that," I answered.

"And what did you do?" she questioned.

"Nothing; I just left," I said.

"And now?" she asked.

"Now I'm depressed," I said. "Which is why I'm here."

Grammy gave me a pity smile and patted my cheek.

"Let's change the subject, then," she suggested.

"You come home tomorrow, right?" I asked. She nodded. I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I'd hate to have to face this dreadful hospital staff every day," I said. She chuckled.

"They're not that bad," she said.

"Maybe not to the patients," I said. She laughed lightly and shook her head.

"How's Lillian doing?" she asked.

I felt my heart sink all of a sudden.

"She's...she's fine," I said, my voice becoming quiet. I looked down, nervously drawing little circles on the blanket under me.

Lillian was my daughter. Mine and Carter's. She was almost six years old now, almost the same age as the amount of time that I had been gone from Saranac. She was the reason I had initially left. She was the reason I had broken Carter's heart.

After Carter had announced his love for me, our relationship proceeded forward at full speed. I fell in love with him quickly and after a whirlwind romance, I had decided he was the one I wanted to lose my virginity to.

It happened in the middle of December, six years ago. We had officially been together for nearly six months, because we had started dating in August. We had known each other for much longer, though, having been best friends since we were in middle school. Carter had always been in the background of my life, ever since I had first moved to Saranac. We hadn't really become friends until middle school, but when we did, we became unseparable.

Our friendship built and we became closer and closer. Carter made me laugh when I was in a terrible mood, listened when I just needed to rant about the problems in my life, and was just there whenever I didn't want to be alone. He was the only person who I told my greatest secret to: the death of my parents and the reason why I lived with my grandparents.

Everyone else at school just thought that my parents had very busy lives and traveled a lot, so they left me with my grandparents. That's the lie that I fed to everyone at school. I couldn't bring myself to tell everyone that I was technically an orphan. I had no parents. I was alone.

But Carter was different. He realized my that my drive for wanting to fight for justice was fueled by something besides a love for law. He was able to read me quickly and because he saw through my lies, I told him. And after telling him, we built a trust between each other that was stronger than anything I had felt before.

It wasn't until the end of my junior year in high school that I began seeing Carter as potentially being something more than just my loyal best friend. It was when Olive Hastings, the most popular girl in our year, suggested that Carter and I go to prom together; that he could be my date. It was only then that I started to think that Carter could ever be something more than just my friend.

Carter, it turned out, had always seen me as something more than just a best friend. He had told me that he was smitten with me since the moment he saw me on the first day of school in first grade. I had just been too blind to see it. And when I did, I decided to give it a shot. It was our senior year; if it didn't work out, we would just go off to different colleges anyway.

So we began dating and it turned out that we did work out. And really well, at that, too. But things got serious quickly and it would have been fine if that one dreaded thing never happened.

We were in love and in the moment, that was all that mattered. We had both agreed to doing it, and we had taken the necessary precautions. But a risk was a risk, and we took it. And the result? The result was Lillian.

Once I had found out that I was pregnant, I got scared. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to have a child. It would ruin everything: my life goals, my future. It would all have to take a backseat to the child. But on the other hand, I couldn't take a baby's life, even if it wasn't in the world yet. I knew that in the short-term I would have been fine with the decision, but in the long-term, I would always regret killing my first child.

So I kept it. I drifted from Carter, not wanting him to know. Why should both of us suffer? He didn't find out. I changed my style of clothing so that I wore baggy shirts and sweatshirts and dresses that flowed away from my body so as not to show off my bump. It wasn't too hard; my stomach didn't get too big during the pregnancy.

After I graduated from high school, I decided that I needed to move away. Grammy was very supportive of my decision, because although she was upset that I had put myself in the situation in the first place, she was glad that I made the right choice in keeping the baby. I was going to have to deal with the circumstances in an adult-like manner.

Lillian was born at the very end of August, about a month before school started. For the first month of her life, I took care of her. I fed her, I changed her, I played with her. But I had been accepted into Brown University, a prestigious school that was considered amongst the Ivy Leagues. I couldn't drop the scholarship I had earned and the education that I wanted. So, after long talks with Grammy and various counselors, I decided to put Lillian in an adoption center.

I had felt so guilty for the following months after I had put her there. She was just a baby. She needed her mother. But I knew the nurses and attending staff were taking good care of her; much better care than I would have been able to have given. I felt comfort in the knowledge that at least she would grow up in a safe and healthy environment, even if she didn't have her mother with her.

The first semester of college had gone by quickly. Before I knew it, finals had arrived. At that point, I had been stressed beyond anything that I had ever felt before. This was when I made the decision to visit Lillian in the adoption agency.

I knew she was still there because the agency told me that they would inform me of when she would be adopted. I had told them that I wanted to know when because I wanted to know when she would be able to grow up in a normal home like I had. When I got to the agency in December of that year, I was surprised to see how much she had grown.

Lillian was absolutely beautiful. She had Carter's unruly brunette hair that stuck up in curls on her head. She had my big, green eyes and my nose. She had Carter's shy smile and friendly personality. She was perfect. My baby was perfect.

After that first time visiting her, it became a habit for me. I signed up as a volunteer to help the agency attendees with the kids, but I spent most of my time with Lillian. I didn't understand why no one had come to adopt her. She was cute, friendly, and low-maintenance. But no one picked her. Parents who couldn't have kids or who wanted more children would come in and look at all the kids. But none picked Lillian. Secretly, I was glad no one picked her. Because if someone did, that would mean that I wouldn't be able to spend time with her. By volunteering in the adoption clinic, I was able to interact with my child without the responsibility of taking care of her.

Time went by like this. I watched Lillian grow up as I grew up myself throughout college. Soon, I finished my undergraduate studies and had obtained my bachelors in political science, just as I had planned. Now I faced the dilemma of finding a job close enough so that I would be able to spend time with Lillian, too.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't find a job anywhere in Boston. I had been on a weekend trip to New York City and had gotten hotly into a debate with a restaurant owner. That's where Ryan, my boss, had found me. He instantly recruited me to work as a paralegal and I found myself living the life I had wanted.

When I first started working, I found that I had little time to take a trip to Boston and visit Lillian. She was growing older, but still no one adopted her. I never once received a phone call telling me that she had been picked. Instead, I would receive phone calls from the clinic saying that Lillian missed me and that I should come to visit.

It was only a four hour drive to Boston, but Ryan had me working almost seven days a week, over fourteen hours each day. I was ridiculously busy all the time. Once Ryan had taken a liking to me, though, he reduced the amount of work he put on me and let me have some free time. Every weekend that I had free, I would make the trip to Boston and spend the entire time with Lillian. I had grown attached to her. She was my daughter, after all.

As I watched Lillian grow older, I realized that she was a lot like me. Although she was friendly and out-going like Carter, she had a fire in her eyes that I had become all-too familiar with. She was like a mini-me and even at the young age of four years old, she could trick her way into beating me in an argument. I was so proud.

Grammy had never met Lillian. I had sent her numerous pictures, though and told her about every moment I spent with her. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Lillian had found a permanent spot in my heart. Part of me wanted to adopt her myself; to take her back to the home she should have grown up in. But when thoughts like those crossed my mind, Ryan would spring a difficult new case on me and I would find myself staying up all day and night trying to find loopholes. Then I would go back to being grateful that I didn't have the full responsibility of raising Lillian.

As of late, it had been almost two months since I had seen Lillian. I had been busy with work and now, I was here with Grammy. I didn't know when I would see her next, if ever. I only hoped that no one would adopt her; not while I was here. Not when I wouldn't be able to say good-bye.

"She looks a lot like you, you know," Grammy said, pulling me back from my thoughts. I laughed dryly.

"She looks like an exact mixture of both of us," I said.

"When are you going to tell him?" she asked.

"Probably never," I replied.

"Arya..." she said, her voice stern.

"Grammy, he's getting married in almost four months. I can't tell him that he has a child. It's wrong," I said. "And besides, it doesn't concern him anymore. She's doing just fine at the adoption center," I added.

"It concerns him as long as his blood runs through her veins," Grammy said. "He has a right to know," she said.

"Ignorance is bliss, Grammy," I pointed out.

"What if she gets adopted and then grows up and goes looking for her father? Then what will you do?" she asked.

"Hopefully, I'll be on the other side of the country and working as a full-time lawyer, so I won't have to deal with it," I said.

"It's a good thing you put her in an adoption center," Grammy said sourly.

"And why is that?" I asked defensively.

"Because that answer that you just gave me was a very childish one," Grammy said. I frowned. "When will you realize that you can't just run away from your problems? They'll catch up with you somehow, so you might as well try and figure out how to deal with them now instead of later," Grammy said.

"That's easier said than done," I said weakly.

"Everything in life is. Having an easy life would be boring. The problems are what make it exciting," she said.

I sighed.

If that was true, then my life would soon become very, very exciting.

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A/N: Sorry for the late update! I'm lame. I know. But I've had work nearly everyday since I got off school. And then I wiped out while ice skating, so I'm sore all over. And I was studying for that medical school exam. So I've been busy. But alas, here's a new chapter!

She had the baby! What do you think of that? What will happen to Lillian? Will she get adopted? Will Arya decide to take her home? Will Arya tell Carter about her? Stick around to find out!

This story is finally kicking into gear. It started out a little slow, but now the problem's out in the open. How will Arya decide to fix it?

Hopefully I won't take as long to update. I've got a few days off and in my breaks between studying, I'll update.

Comment and vote!

XOXO