44. a princess

"Here."

Seojun looked up at the styrofoam cup raised towards him and the girl who held it. The street light that lit above the bench they sat, shone on them with a soft beam. The night was dark, the streets were pretty much empty and while Suho's father handled everything else back in the station, Seojun and Soojin took a walk around the campus.

"Decaf is the only thing they had." Soojin's soft voice was doing more harm than comfort to the pissed Seojun. "If this was a cafe, I'd definitely get your favourite very ridiculous drink."

"This will do." Seojun took the cup from her hand, their fingers brushing momentarily. He took a sip of the hot beverage without meeting Soojin's eyes. He was worried he'd do something irrational again. "Gomawo."

Soojin, on the other hand, felt extremely small. Seojun hadn't reacted at all, not even a small hi or an aggresive gesture. He was quiet when they walked around and quiet when she offered to get them some coffee.

"Seojun," She hesitated, gulping in sheer nervousness. "Are you really going to be this way?"

Seojun looked at his hands, he couldn't even run away because he knew this probably was the last time he'd have Soojin with him. He could not risk the fact that she'll never be so close to him again.

"Mianhe," Soojin held her cup firm, not minding the warm beverage. "I know I shouldn't have-"

"Sit."

Soojin's eyes lit up, just because Seojun looked up at her and patted the wooden space next to him. She complied, sitting next to him as their shoulders touched.

For the first minute or so, there was silence. The wind was a gushing witness to their finale and the crickets were a loud audience in that lonesome night.

While Soojin took a sip of the machine coffee, Seojun glanced at the missing girl. Her hair were tied in a loose bun, messily stranded and her eyes seemed so tired. But the visible bruises on her face was really taking a toll on his anger issues.

Her lower lip had a unhealed cut mark, the corner of her mouth had a faint blackish spot and her forehead held a bandaid. Bags under her eyes calling out to her sleepless nights and the lines on her forehead proving her stressful life.

And she was just a teenager.

Seojun reached out his finger, taking Soojin by surprise as he caressed her lower lip and the faint bruise. And as softly his thumb traced the marks, the heartbeats of Soojin's stony heart increased it's pace.

"Does it hurt a lot?" He asked, softly with the faint tingle of the wind.

Soojin shook her head, with a smile and she held his hand, "ani, not at all." She then looked closely at the disheveled mess he was. "But I'm pretty sure yours hurt." She pressed the blue wound on Seojun's cheek only for him to wince.

"Ya, that hurts!"

"Well, who the fuck told you to do such a thing?" Soojin faced him with a concerned look. "Seojun, how could you do such a thing? What if something would have happened to you, you idiot."

At first Seojun thought she was mad he raised his hand at her father, but she was mad because he wasn't thinking straight. He pouted, lowering his gaze.

"Someone had to do it." He said, holding Soojin's hand in his, brushing his finger softly on her bruised knuckles. "You call me a wannabe gangster, might as well stay true to it."

That earned Seojun another poke on his bruise and he yelped in pain.

"Hajima!"

"You're an idiot."

"Well, you left without telling me a single thing. What was I to do?" Seojun kept the coffee cup aside, facing the girl, "Ya Kang Soojin, how could you leave without meeting me?"

It was Soojin's turn to lower her gaze, embarassed and guilty. "I didn't mean to, it's just-" She sighed, meeting Seojun's soft gaze. "I didn't want you to be stupid about this and miss your exams. We studied so much for it!"

"Exactly, and you missed them. What are you going to do?"

Soojin smiled, a soft smile. "Don't you worry about me, Seojun. Like I said, I have a plan." She pressed Seojun's hand softly, "and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. In fact you're the only person I wanted to tell, to reach out, to ask for help." She took another deep breath, "it took all of the pride in me to ask Lee Suho only because you're an irrational idiot who'd do stupid things like what you did today."

Seojun didn't protest but neither did he agree, nevertheless he let her continue her side of the story.

"I had a little brother," Soojin looked at their entwined hand, afraid to cry aloud. "He died when he was a little less than a year old, when I was nine years and everything pretty much changed from that day. My parents," Soojin held in a sniff, blinking her eyes to avoid from crying. "You know my father was such a sweetheart, once, he'd always bring me stuff every time he came from work...

"Chocolates, sometimes little fancy diaries, stationery stuff, at times little cards he'd make when he got some time off from work. He would carry me on his shoulders, he'd show me off at the hospital and amongst his colleagues, he'd say, 'my soojinnie is the best girl' and-"

Tears now fell on Seojun's hand, the warm teardrops made it impossible for him to not be emotional. Regardless of his state, he held her hand with both his hands assuring her that he was right here.

"My brother was a premature baby and mom had a lot of complications during her pregnancy. All of the happy days turned into worrying and soon they all turned into incessant fights once little Kang died. I don't remember much about him, other than how cute his little fingers were wrapped against mine but I remember all of the fights and all of the abuse that followed.

"My mother isolated herself, completely blaming her for my brother's death. My father avoided coming home and staying out on work for months on end. They'd always fight whenever they were together and I thought this could possibly not get worse but it did." Soojin wiped her tears, even though they kept refilling. "My father started pestering me about my scores, and kept comparing me to the new neighbour who was of my age. I guess he saw his dead son in Suho.

"The little complains soon turned into a nasty competition and everything I liked doing was taken away from me just so I could study. Every little thing that meant a lot to me was snatched away and I was locked in my room so I could only study the entire day." Soojin paused, it seemed just yesterday to her when her father would hug her and cherish her. "Omma kept away from my life, completely absent. And my appa, he was overwhelmingly present. He even burnt all the little notes and gifts he bought me because one evening he found me pondering over them."

Seojun could have never guessed in a million years that the girl who was known to be a brilliant and outgoing student was such a broken mess. It's wonderful how Soojin had mastered the facade of being absolutely fine when she wasn't.

"His words often did the most harm but soon, he got physical. At first it was just a slap, then it was pushing, and knocking over, and I couldn't take it anymore and considered executing the plan faster than I intended it to."

Seojun looked at Soojin as she wiped her tears with her hands, sighing. "When did you plan to run away?"

"A long time ago, honestly," Soojin cleared her throat, "but I never wanted to. It all came back to me when I locked myself in the room for three days and considered... dying..." Soojin was careful to not trigger Seojun's trauma but he was already in the zone.

There was silence again. The duo faced the roads, trying to comfort themselves against the chilly wind.

"What changed your mind?"

Soojin chuckled, earning a gaze from Seojun as she said, "you."

"I don't understand."

Soojin smiled, shrugging, "all this time I wanted a reason to stay back with my toxic parents but you gave me a reason to run away." She faced the clueless boy, "you did things no one ever did it for me and in a very long time, I felt visible and loved. Sure, you did it for your ulterior motives and yes, I knew about them almost from the time you were friendly." She chuckled again, shaking her head, "but I loved it. I loved the attention, the project we worked on, the way you'd step on my nerves, our study dates, the lunches and the friendship. You made me feel wanted, again, the kindness you presented me was enough for me to pick my life and run away with it. You made me feel deserving enough to live."

Seojun smiled. He forgot why he was mad at her and in that moment, cherished her happy face.

"So yeah, I sat down one night and got my life straight. My savings were reasonable, I had enough to start with and alongside, I credited all the tutoring and admission money into another account. The medical admission money helped a ton honestly, faking a receipt for my father and crediting all of it to my name." The evil little smirk lit up the mood between the duo, "and I dialed the contact of a person I'd never thought I'd ever call."

Han Seojun tilted his head, "who?"

"My aunt." Soojin smiled again, "my distant aunt who was banished from the Kang inheritance and family for following her dream. I was scared she'd rat me out or ignore me but when I told her about the abuse, she was really close file a case." Soojin watched Seojun chuckle.

"So you're like her, aren't you?"

"I guess so." Soojin shrugged, smile still intact. "Nevertheless, I was even so determined to leave and that left me just one thing to handle. My father would never let me go considering he had 'wasted' so much money and time on me and being a minor helped him more than me."

"Wait, what did you do?"

Soojin sighed dreamily, "I installed a little camera in the living room, one for each corner and waited for him to raise his hand on me." Seojun's mouth remained ajar, making Soojin to chuckle again. "I instigated his anger, trying to get on his nerves, and when he found out I ran away with you in that party, he was furious which worked perfectly for me. Once he hit me mercilessly, I threatened him with the video evidence. I think he was more scared of being demoted in his career than being caught by the police. His reputation means everything to him and once he was out of the way, there wasn't much to it. Suho helped me get a safe hotel to rest until I'd get my visa and documents for the travel and then I heard about a gangster on the loose in the neighborhood and ran here even though my flight leaves in five hours."

Seojun frowned at that statement, "so Suho knew you were here all this while?"

"Aniyo, I didn't tell him anything. Just that I was leaving. We aren't comfortable speaking openly with each other which is absolutely the reason Suho and I would never work." Soojin nodded in realisation, "wow, I just got that."

"Well, we wouldn't have worked either." Seojun scoffed, a sad little chuckle followed, "since you didn't even inform me."

"I beg to differ." Soojin tilted her head, meeting his teary eyes. "In an alternate universe we'd work just fine."

"Why do you think so?"

"Because you're the only one who knows who Kang Soojin truly is." She brushed his hair from his forehead, "and you're the only one I trust to tell you about my aunt and this plan. No one knows about the leverage I hold against my father, and no one knows about my aunt in the states. Except you. And as much as I wish to be besides you while you become a k-pop idol, I really have to leave."

Silence. It lasted a bit longer that time.

"You want me to be an idol too?" Seojun changed the subject temporarily, it was getting too overwhelming. "Why?"

"Because every time you sang, my anxieties would vanish in thin air and I've never felt so safe as I did whenever you sang. And wouldn't it be better to have this beautiful voice hold a beacon of comfort to all the anxious, lonely hearts than be cooped up?"

Seojun was witnessing a vulnerable, raw and true Kang Soojin. Her words were hitting the right chord.

"I know there's so much that is lost from your life and I'd be a hypocrite by telling you to face your past when I'm running away from it." Soojin continued, taking a sip of her coffee. "But just give it a thought okay? Just don't brush it away because Seyeon and Suho would have and do want this for you."

Seojun was silent while Soojin finished her coffee. The night wasn't as dark as it had seemed as the duo sat in silence again.

"Arraseo, I'll give it a thought." Seojun nodded, assuring the girl who smiled at him. "Only if you promise me that you'd take care of your hands for me, not clean them when you're stressed out... arachi?" He stood up, facing the girl.

Soojin stood up too and narrowed her gaze at the tall guy, "gurae, you got a deal ajhussi!" She raised her hand towards him to shake on it but instead he pulled her in a hug.

It took just a second for Soojin to retaliate and wrap her arms around his tall frame while Seojun buried his face in the crook of her neck. The cheap deodrant mixed well with the expensive perfume as they stayed there for what seemed like an eternity.

"Take care of yourself, Kang Soojin." Seojun said, trying to not cry and ruin it.

"I will," Soojin replied, holding onto him with her dear life, "take care of your omma and please don't ever stop being kind."

They broke the hug, but Soojin's arms were still wrapped around his neck and Seojun's around her waist. "I want that date, Kang Soojin." Seojun said, raising his eyebrow, "you better be ready the next time you see me."

Soojin chuckled, "you bet your ass I will be."

"Mianhe, Soojin-ah," Seojun rested his forehead against hers, "for coming up with the stupid revenge plan and making a huge mess."

"Gomwao, Seojun-nnie." She reverted, thankful for his warmth that kept her alive. "For making a deceitful plan and for giving me some of the happiest days of my life." She broke the hug and shuffled through her pocket to give Seojun a last souvenir.

A tiny paper flower.

"It's not that good..." She placed the weirdly shaped flower in Seojun's palm. "I really tried, and I know-"

But Seojun had already held it like it was the most precious thing to him and in a flicker of a second, pressed his lips against hers. Tilting his head, and a hand against the back of her neck, Seojun kissed Soojin.

After a second to understand and another to retaliate, Soojin kissed him back, holding him and tiptoeing to match his intensity.

Their kisses were just as intoxicating as they were previously. When they ran out of oxygen, they parted gasping for their breaths.

"Now that I'm a real gangster, you better remove the wannabe from it."

Soojin managed to roll her eyes, despite gasping as Seojun kissed her cheek. "Never, you're always the wannabe gangster for me."

"As you say princess..."

"YA!"

Her retort was cut short when Seojun's kisses silenced her and that was one way to stop their bickering.

The other was parting ways.

|| the end ||

_

Author's Note: thank you, this has been an amazing journey. I'd never thought I'd watch kdramas and to top it, write and finish a fanfic too. Soojin and Seojun deserved a lot, and honestly they're both my adorable messy badass babies. I hope I did them justice and I know the ending isn't happy but happiness isn't them ending together, it's them helping the other find theirs.

Kang Soojin was and is an icon, and the writers may have done her dirty, but this writer will always love her. My baby deserves the world and she'll get it. Han Seojun has his friends and his family and memories of a princess to help him grow.

That being said, i have attached the last edit I made on the duo and with a heavy heart, it's time to say goodbye.

see you in the next story <3

-R

p.s. thank you for all the lovely comments and votes and continuously supporting the story.