*one day prior*

The last day of July was indeed a hot and wet day. 

On his bed, Jungkook was starring at the ceiling, trying not to move too much. He just got out of a shower and didn't want to get sweaty again.

If it wasn't for his big interest in music and arts, that prevented the boy from ever doing any ball activities, he would be throwing a ball against the wall, trying to make time pass by faster.

He hated being home. It was nothing but a reminder of how lonely he really was. And the only person that left him with a sense of wholeness, was out of reach just this unbearably boring day.

Nia was with her friends today and Jungkook had nothing else to do. He didn't want to ask his other friends. It was rarely him asking them to hang. Taehyung was his 'best friend', but it was all too much of a superficial bro relation sometimes.

"Hey man, wanna play ball? Jennie and her friends are at the basket court!"

"Jungkook, looking fine! Showing off to the girls?"

"Party tonight, bring lots of beers!"

It was all about girls and parties - which Jungkook usually didn't mind, but now he couldn't care less about that stuff.

After getting a girlfriend and not bothering the attention of other girls, Jungkook had realized really how superficial his and his friends' relationship was. He hadn't really paid attention to it in the past, but all they ever talked about was girls. What would he even talk to them about now?

The only one he felt like really authentically knew him, was her. He only wanted to be with her. He missed her.

The buzzing sound coming from Jungkook's night stand made the boy sit up in a rush. He turned to grab his phone, a message popping up on the lock screen.

Ms. Kim Hyerin: Hello Jungkook. It's been a while and we still haven't gotten to eat dinner all together. What do you say you'll spend the evening with us? I'll cook deliciously, all you have to do is come.

Reading the message, Jungkook couldn't help but let out a chuckle. 

Nia's mother indeed seemed to like him now. It made him genuinely happy.

The boy replied at once, not leaving his mother in law left on read for more than a minute.

Jungkook didn't think it was possible for time to move slower than what it did before knowing about tonight's dinner, but it surely did and after a few hours - which felt like days - the boy dressed up and headed to Nia's house.

The weather had turned down the unbearable heat which left only the humidity to still make it slightly hot, but not too much.

The boy decided to walk, in case the girl's parents would force some wine down his throat. From what he knew, parents to one's parter usually loved to insist on a glass or two - and he wouldn't risk it.

With his hands in his pockets, feet slandering down the street, Jungkook heard a creaking sound which made him look up.

The swing on the playground must've been old since its creaking noise reached Jungkook's ears on the other side of the street. 

Squinting his eyes, Jungkook stopped on his spot when he recognized Nia as she swung backwards on the swing, someone standing in front of her and pushing the swing. 

Hoseok?

Nia chuckled lightly, a warm feeling grazing Jungkook's heart. The boy was just about to cross the road and walk over there when the boy in front of her, which he now could confirm as Hoseok, grabbed the swing keeping the girl still.

He didn't know why he stopped, but his legs froze, watching as Hoseok unnoticeable to the girl pulled the swing closer and closer.

Jungkook wasn't able to see Nia's face anymore as her best friend was shadowing it with his body. Her voice sounded, but it was inaudible and failed to reach Jungkook's ears.

A loud ringing noise rung in Jungkook's ears as he watched Hoseok pull on the ropes of the swing one last time before tilting his head and pushing forward to meet Nia's lips.

Breath hitching and heart dropping, the boy watched as Nia's eyes closed, submitting to the kiss.

He watched as his girlfriend kissed her best friend. 

She promised she would never hurt him.

She promised him that, just before he started opening up. She promised just before he sung for her for the first time. And she betrayed him right after.

Just as his mother.

It really was true. Love wasn't real, it was all just a matter of fun and games. 

He knew he shouldn't have caught feelings. He knew it would all end up the same.

He should've listened to himself when he wanted to push her away. 

But her big eyes, caring words and beautiful soul had wrapped him around her pinky, making him incapable of being reasonable - cause he should've never let his guards down.

Gathering the last bit of life in him, Jungkook tore his eyes from the picture and left the place.

Fuck love, him and her.

Fuck it all.

*back to storyline*

Nia's texts had been running in all day. 

Jungkook had read a few of them before turning off his phone.

It was truly hard to stay mad at her when she was all he had, but he knew that this was not to forgive and even though it took his all, he didn't answer and turned off his phone.

"Jungkook I would never leave you"

She had a authentic look in her eyes whenever she told him this. 

She spoke with so much care, as if she really cared.

"I will never hurt you Jungkook. I promise that."

But why did she kiss another man then?

Nevertheless all the doubting thoughts of the girl's words, this was none of her fault.

It was all his.

Mostly it wasn't hate towards the girl that filled his body. 

It was hatred towards himself. Disappointment, regret and affirmation.

Hatred because he repeated his past, disappointed because he didn't listen to himself, regret and affirmation because his assumptions turned out to be proven right. 

Jungkook blamed this on himself.

It was his own fault his heart was shattering. 

He should of just stayed true to himself from the start. He shouldn't have opened up.

It always ends the same way.

Opening up, loving someone and letting your grades down... it'd never turn out in any good way.

Nia had told him it did not always end the same way and that he should feel acknowledged.

He knew that he should've ignored his heart. The heart is always the weakest link. It always makes irrational and naive decisions that'll only bring a temporary happiness and later will bring a life long sadness. 

He knew it. Love wasn't real.

Why did he even give it a chance after watching it all happen as a fly on the wall.

Yes his mother left him... but his mother also left his father.

His father had loved his mother and his mother had loved his father too. At least that was what it looked like. They had always seemed to love each other. Never once did he realize the flaws and hatred in the relationship.

So even after his mother left... after she showed him that love would not make one stick around, because why stay when there's millions of other possibilities? 

Even after she left her own kid.

Why did he give love a chance?

What had he become?

Weak. Fragile. Vulnerable. Pathetic.

Jungkook was in Yoongi's studio. He had went there after witnessing the one he thought would be the love of his life as she betrayed him. 

Yoongi was out of town, visiting his family in Daegu. Jungkook had stayed there overnight, not wanting to go home to the house that would only wake old memories and just repeat themselves in a new light.

It was raining quite heavily outside, making a slightly weird comfort wrap around Jungkook at the calming noise.

The boy spun the chair he was sitting in once again, enjoying the levitating and nauseating feeling as his brain was shaking and his eyes blurring. 

In another life he would be high right now.

The chair's spin slowly died down. It stopped and Jungkook bend forward, putting his elbows on his knees. He hid his face in his hands, his fingers ruffling through his messy hair and eyes squinting shut, hoping that when he released it would all turn out good.

He opened his eyes, peeking through his fingers. As he did, his eyes once again fell on the keyboard in front of him. Lifting his face from his hands, he followed the cable from the keyboard down to the floor and noticed it was plugged in.

Pressing gently on one of the keys, no sound came out and it almost startled the boy more than if a sound would've come out.

He rolled his chair back before bending down and switching on the power. The boy straightened his back, a hand running through his greasy hair before letting his fingers gently run over the keyboard tiles.

au.n.

To see this from Jungkook's point of view you have to realize how much emotional damage and trust issues he got after his parents separation and his mother leaving. He doesn't think he needs an explanation from Nia as she already proved his worst thoughts right.