When I was 16 my mother told me who I would be marrying, to secure the future of Von Straus.

I knew then I wanted nothing to do with love, I had seen it destroy people, and make them do unthinkable things.

Just like now, I didn't know it, but I was going to destroy everything I had built for myself, for the one thing I hated most in this world.

"You want to be my boyfriend?"

I should just drop the subject, tell her to leave and never speak to her again, nor think about her again.

Yet the thirst for more when she was near was making me do the unthinkable.

"Yes." I said, stepping closer to her. "You do like me too, don't you, Eloise?"

The space between us fell silent, until eventually she looked up at me, with a strange look on her face.

"Would you... ever lie to me, Rowan?"

Ah, there it was, the question that made me feel like a monstrous inhuman thing, taking advantage for my own gain.

I had danced to this tune for years now, I was so used to it, but with her... I didn't want to dance anymore.

She'd run, or worse, she'd never look at me again, if she knew the truth.

That I was a Vampire.

"I don't want to lie to you." I was telling the truth, but I was still not telling her the truth.

She stepped away from me and I felt her slipping away from me, just from the look in her eyes, filled with uncertainty.

"If I asked you a question, would you tell me the honest truth?" She quietly asked, holding my gaze.

"Of-course." This was reckless, but I had to make her feel good about me.

"Ask me anything."

"Do..." She took a pause. "Are you seeing anyone else?"

It took a moment, but then I couldn't help but laugh, because for the sake of me, I was not expecting that to be her question.

Where did she come up with that question? "No."

"I am not seeing any other women, what made you ask such a thing?"

"I don't know, I just- I guess William got to me, and it made me think about..." She paused, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"I sound like a jealous wife... I'm sorry, I just don't get why someone like you would want me as his... girlfriend." She said, making me frown.

"Someone like you?" I didn't understand what she was saying, I never thought anything was wrong with her.

Why does she think I wouldn't want her now? After everything I've already said, and done with her?

She's apprehensive because of this- this house, the money, the clothes, the fancy things I grew up around practically my entire life.

Eloise mentioned she lived paycheck to paycheck, of-course she's questioning why I would take an interest in her.

She's so beautiful and caring, that nobody would assume she's broken on the inside, full of doubts, and thoughts that would scratch away at her self-confidence.

"This is me Eloise, I cannot change who I am, I'm a single guy, I like you not for what you own but for who you are."

I held on to her hands and brought them up to my lips, like a man starved, I craved her warmth and touch.

"You are kind, and thoughtful, what is there not to like about you? I simply can't think of anything, I just like you, everything about you I find alluring."

She looked puzzled, but the blush on her cheeks tells me she's listening, which is all I cared about right now.

Eloise in my life could be a blessing or a curse, but I wasn't going to simply dismiss her of the truth, she deserved to know.

I wasn't a good person, I have killed, I've done unspeakable things, things she'd find repulsive if ever found out.

But for her, I wanted to break this endless loop of self-loathing and feel something, this kindness, the look in her eye when she looks at me.

Love.

"Are you asking because... I lied to William and said you were my boyfriend or, do you really mean it?" Eloise asks, making me smile.

At first, I found it amusing, then I really liked the idea of being that person to her, that someone special.

"Serious."

"So, what do you say? Am I worthy to be your real boyfriend, despite decorating flaws?" I joke, making her break out in a smile.

"You're stupid." She giggled out, before looking around, her cheeks a lovely shade of pink under the dim lighting of the hallway.

"Yes."

"Yes?" I question, wanting- no needing her to say it.

She groaned out and blushed harder, avoiding my gaze shyly. "I mean OK..."

"I've never done this before, please stop staring at me." She eventually said, before moving her hand from mind to hide her face.

"I'll be your girlfriend." She mumbled out so quietly, I barely heard her.

The relief I felt was strange, a part of me deep down was sure she would ask more questions, be more demanding, but no, she was simply just a woman, experiencing this for the first time.

I was her first, not only her first partner in bed, but also in a relationship.

The feeling was riveting.

I couldn't keep my heart from beating in my chest, an overwhelming sense of... happiness.

I could get used to this. "It's getting quite late, and you haven't eaten." I cleared my throat, noticing the time was seven.

"Are you hungry?"

Much to my relief, she nodded her head. "A little, yeah."

"Perfect, what do you feel like eating?" I ask, taking her hand in mine and guiding her to the dining room.

"I have yet to learn what foods you like and don't like, as your boyfriend I should know these things, don't you think?" I say, teasing, looking back at her, seeing her chuckle with shy eyes.

I really did enjoy holding her hand, the warmth she emitted felt addictive, and that smile of hers.

"Um, I'm really OK with whatever you're having, I'm not that picky."

This was where our new relationship might be tricky, food, something I cannot digest ever since I died.

I had spent many years mastering eating human food since I turned Vampire, and since then, I still cannot hold any of it down for long.

"How about something American?" I think of foods she might enjoy, since she's giving nothing away.

"Mac and cheese, perhaps?"

"That sounds good, sure." She says, as I open the doors to the dining room. "Are you sure your cooks won't mind?"

I looked at her strangely at her odd question, why would they mind? What a bizarre question.

"No, it's what I pay them for." I wanted to laugh, she was so pure, unlike me.

I pulled out a chair for her and pushed her seat in once she sat down at the table, I then had to go to the kitchen as I haven't seen Lenard anywhere.

"Would you like a drink? I ask, and she hums out.

"Water, um, thank you." She shyly said, making me wonder if she drank anything else.

I felt like she was holding herself back, but I had all the time in the world to uncover this woman and figure her out, I was in no rush, if water is what she wanted, water she shall get.

"Coming right up." I leaned down and kissed her on the lips, surprising her.

"I'll be right back."

As I went to the kitchen to tell the chef's what Eloise wanted, I could hear her turn her phone back on, and without realizing it, I had stopped behind the door to hear her typing something on her phone.

Who was she talking to? I shouldn't pry, but I did so without thinking, which I didn't like so I pulled back from that feeling deep down and ignored what she was doing.

The chef's were delighted to hear that Eloise was hungry and within minutes they came out with the mac and cheese for her, she did look happy to finally eat something warm, and it pleased me to watch her eat.

Seeing her eat with a smile on her face made all the monstrous thoughts I had run into the dark, she genuinely looked happy, and healthy, and so alive that I was afraid of ruining that.

If she were to ever find out about me, and what I eat, I'm sure her face wouldn't resemble anything close to happy, she'd see the real me.

There was also the fact that the more time I spent with Eloise, the more I felt the craving to-

"You're not eating?"

"Hm?" I snapped out of my thoughts. "Oh, no, I'm not quite hungry right now." I said, making her frown.

I had just fed, what was wrong with me?

At this rate I'll need to eat within the next few hours before I lose all sense of sanity and hurt Eloise without realizing it.

I wasn't going to let that happen, at any costs I had to slip away and take a blood bag from my reserves.

Just as Eloise was going to ask me something, I could hear the front door as someone rang the doorbell, and with my senses on high alert from becoming hungry, I knew that time was of the essence.

"What's wrong?" Eloise asks as I stand up from my seat.

The voices were getting louder, and the sound of fresh pumping blood running through Eloise's veins was ringing in my ears, making it seem like I was losing breathe.

I had to get out of this room. "Excuse me- I'll be right back, I just need to check on something."

"Wha-" Eloise stood up and dropped her fork on the table. "Rowan?"

"Just- don't follow me, I promise I'll be right back, just stay here." I forcefully said without noticing, my hand around the doorknob.

I swallowed hard once I noticed the look in her eyes. "I just forgot something to do with work, it slipped my mind." I said more calmly, with a smile, to ease the look she was giving me.

"Oh." She said quietly. "I'm sorry, I just- I'll wait." She smiled back and I hated how I had to lie to this beautiful woman, who trusted me wholeheartedly.

I left the room and closed the door behind me, the ringing in my ears was much louder now and the scent of Eloise was filling my senses, I upped my pace to get as far away from her as possible.

Just as I was making my detour to the spare blood I had in the kitchen, a voice I recognized made me halt in my step and look to where she was standing by the door.

Mariella Cosworth.

"What are you doing here?" I did not have time for this. "Whatever it is has to wait, and you need to leave." I say, passing her.

She grabs me by the arm to stop me, making me turn to face her and I see the amusement in her eyes as she knows what is currently going on, and where I was currently going without asking, as she could smell it on me.

"You're relapsing because of the human." She said, searching my eyes as I could feel them start to burn.

I shoved my arm from hers and held my forehead with my palm, feeling the effects take hold, and my time just went from hours to minutes to losing all sense of sanity.

This has never happened before, I had gone a month without blood and I only just fed days ago, this shouldn't be happening.

"You look terrible, where is your reserve?" She asks and I breathed out heavily, clutching at my neck tightly as I felt my fangs ache in the gums of my mouth.

Mariella had taken me to where my reserves were, in the pantry of the kitchen behind the locked door, it held a fridge designed to keep the blood preserved encase something like this would happen to me, although I never thought it would.

She had cut a hole in the bag with her nail and placed the blood bag in my hand then brought my hand to my mouth, forcing me to take the blood without a moment to spare.

"I thought this would happen Charles, you've become too reckless." Mariella sighed, crossing her arms.

"You need to feed, and regularly, what you're doing is going to destroy that poor little bird you so desperately want to keep."

I glared up at her as I squeezed the remaining of the blood bag into my mouth as I drank and swallowed the blood greedily, the blood was keeping my heartrate down and the ringing in my ears to subside.

"I do not need a lecture." I said, throwing the empty bag to the floor as I wiped my mouth free of blood.

"Look at you, you're not doing yourself any favors here Charles, what would you do if that little bird saw you now? You can't expect to keep this up for long, you need to tell he-"

"I will not!" I interrupt her whilst moving past her out of the pantry and out through the secret door that led into my private office.

I had not thought I'd use this door, but look at me, as much as it frustrated me to no end, Mariella was right, I was slipping because of Eloise.

The thing that has kept me alive, this curse, it wants me to feed on Eloise, I felt it when we were making love, then again when I was watching her eat, the urge was becoming a strong obsession, which caused a relapse.

"I do not need this right now, thank you for coming but I have it under control." I tell her, taking off my top that was stained with droplets of blood from earlier.

"You need to tell her, you're putting her life at risk and mine!" Mariella slams her hands down on my desk, as she glares towards me.

"Eloise will know when I say it's time, until then I'm going to protect her, and keep her safe."

Mariella scoffs out and sits down on the couch with a heavy sigh. "She doesn't need soft speech and coddling; she needs the damned honest truth!"

How many times much she bring this up? I had already made up my mind to keep Eloise out of it, I was going to protect her, and keep her away from the darkness, even if it costed me everything.

"I said no!" She needed to drop it now, before she really made me angry, something I don't get very often, but today she was pushing me.

"Well then you're a damn fool, a dead damned fool at that!"

"So be it!" I snap out in frustration. "I'd rather be a fool then a monster in her eyes."

There was a pause until Mariella smiles. "Well, it looks like you don't have a choice now, Charles."

What on earth is she talking about? What did she mean by-

A voice filled the air, such a familiar sweet and gentle voice that it completely and utterly left me frozen with a newfound emotion, one I had never thought I'd experience- fear.

"What is going on?"

I turn around slowly, my eyes not deceiving me, for there stands Eloise, her eyes on me and the blood-stained shirt I held in my hands, then to the woman who stood beside me.

One word came to mind, and one word only.

'Fuck'