Once I had taken myself out of Eloise's lifeless body, I could do nothing but stare at every single bruise I left on her doll like skin.

What have I done...

I had hurt her, I had bruised her on so many parts of her body and she didn't not once tell me I had been hurting her, despite just how badly some of them were.

Hand bruises on her wrists, bruises on her legs, I must have also sucked on her skin too hard as she had multiple purple bruise marks on her neck and breasts and between her legs.

Shame and disgust with myself at what I had done was all I could think about now, not the wonderful memory I thought I had shared with her.

I couldn't just stand there all day, I had to clean her, so I gently went to her side and lifted her up, I hadn't noticed just how thin and light she was, it was like lifting a feather up from the ground.

She needed to eat more, she was far too thin for my liking, there needed to be more of her, perhaps it would not harm her to take iron supplements? Her lack of iron might not be helping her to avoid this badly of bruising in the future.

The future... the thought of doing this to her body again left me numb, I had not wanted to harm her, yet I had done so in the cruellest way possible, when she had told me she trusted me I took advantage of sweet Eloise.

Swallowing my guilt, I carried her into my bathroom and with one hand I started running a bath, as the water started to fill the tub, I looked down at Eloise's sleeping face in awe, she was just that stunning to watch that sometimes I forget most people do not like it.

She slept so peacefully despite the intense lovemaking I had put her through, without a moment to breathe, still- she allowed me which was something that felt like I needed to discuss with her when she woke up.

I couldn't do this again unless we're clear on what her limits were, if she was going to be mine, there had to be a line, so I could not hurt her.

'Mine'.

What was I even thinking? She wasn't mine, and she never could be mine, even if she were to find out my dark truth, there was just simply no way I would ever turn her into the same monster I was, she was too bright to live in the darkness.

Letting her go eventually will hurt, it is why I had avoided relationships my entire life, to know that someday that person you love most will leave you always left me with a large black hole inside my heart, one that I refused to fill.

Eloise... if she knew, would she still let me touch her like last night? I think not...

Slowly placing her in the bath once I know the temperature is warm enough, I start to wash her body with body soap until I'm satisfied, she's clean, then I go to wash her long strawberry blonde hair.

Such beautiful long healthy hair, and warm skin, I had forgotten just how it felt to be this alive, to be this warm at the touch, it had been so long since I've touched another like this that it feels foreign to me now.

Unlike me, Eloise was warm, she had felt it multiple times during the night and into the morning, no matter how much she touched my skin to warm me with hers, the thought had not been lost of her- the wonder, the 'what if's'.

She will have questions when she wakes up.

It doesn't surprise me, I've heard it all before;

'Why are you so cold?'

'Why is it your heart beats slower than mine?'

'Why do you not smile?'

'Why do I never see you during the day?'

I'd never had it bother me but knowing that someone I was infatuated with had come to the same thought felt different, like a part was taken from me and I couldn't fill the gap.

Eloise was still very out of it, I had cleaned her the best I could without causing any more discomfort between her legs, once done I had wrapped a towel around her and lifted her in my arms and then took her back into my bedroom.

The room had already been cleaned by maids while I was tending to Eloise, so the bed was freshly made and clean for me to put her back down on to the bed and dry her free of water from the bath.

Once I'm satisfied that she's dry, I brush her hair as she lays her head on a pillow, once done with that I put the blanket over her and then take one last look before I go back into the bathroom and empty the water from the bath.

I washed myself in the walk-in shower, I could still smell Eloise's scent on me when I was finished and wrapping a towel around my waist, it was such a lovely scent, like flowers in spring, but I knew that I couldn't get addicted to this sensation.

Once I brush my teeth and dry my hair, I open the door and step into my bedroom, my eyes instantly go to Eloise, who is now fully awake and sat up on the bed, looking at the marks on her wrist from my hand.

"Good morning."

Eloise's body jumps in surprise at my sudden voice, making her shift her eyes from her wrist to me, where she then smiles sleepily at me, with a tint of pink in her cheeks.

Those bruises... the more I saw them the angry at myself I got for letting myself get so out of control.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, coming to sit on the bed next to her. "Are you in pain?"

My eyes scanned her body, and they were already turning a messy shade of orange, yellow and purple, colours that didn't suit her beautiful smooth skin.

"I-I'm fine." She quickly said, making me look at her with a frown.

"Don't lie to me." I sat up off the bed, knowing that full well she was not fine, and in fact in a lot of pain.

I was ashamed of myself and angry that didn't notice, but most of all I was disappointed that Eloise had not motioned anything to me and had just let me hurt her in ways that looked like I had spent the night beating her.

"Why didn't you tell me I had hurt you?" I turned and faced her, seeing her look away from me, only adding to my frustration. "If I had known sooner, I would have stopped, Eloise look at me-"

"Exactly." She abruptly said, making me frown. "You would've stopped..."

"I don't understand, of-course I would have, I hurt you." My chest clenched once again as she raised her eyes to mine.

I sigh out and rub the back of my neck before I sit back on the bed and take her hand in mine, my fingers lightly tracing the marks of my fingers badly imprinted on her Sunkissed skin, so smooth and warm.

"I... liked it." She said, making me look at her, as her face flushed crimson. "A... lot."

She used her other hand to cover her face as it twisted in embarrassment, she groans out and looks at me through her fingers. "Please stop looking at me, this is... really..." She groans out again and closes her eyes.

She liked it? I still don't quite understand, but from the looks of her face she's somewhat ashamed to admit it out loud.

She enjoyed how rough I was... I see now.

It should shock me, even just a little but I had known the moment I saw her, quietly stood in the corner at my party, her shyness, her pure innocence- quite literally, I knew that she was far from what she seemed.

I had indeed called it before seeing it for myself, and seeing it now... well, I'm having mixed feelings about it.

"Say something..." She mutters out, her hand by her side, but her eyes on me, her face still very red.

"Sorry." I sucked my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing. "I was just thinking."

I had completely lost my mind worrying about her not an hour ago, and now she's simply fine with it, this girl....

"I don't think I can let you leave." I say without thinking, making her giggle, I clear my throat when I heard how wrong it sounded.

"You look like a victim, not a woman who just experienced pleasure for the first time." I said teasingly, the tension in the room no longer there as she laughs out loud.

"I do look really messed up huh." She smiled shyly. "You're... uh, quite strong, I didn't expect this at all... I still think I'm dreaming." She said quietly at the end.

Even so, dream or not, this girl was more than I had hoped for, and I'm liking where it's heading, but the thought of having sex with her again right now would be monstrous, so despite my longing for her again, we had to both get out of this room.

"Are you hungry?" I ask, just as her stomach starts to make noises.

"I take that as a yes." I smile, lifting her wrist to my mouth as I leave a kiss on it, before I get up off the bed.

I hold out my hand to her. "Can you stand, or shall I carry you?" I say, not missing the way her legs crossed.

"I don't know." She said honestly, before moving her legs from the bed to place on the floor. "My entire body feels weird."

I swallowed hard as my cock begun to twitch behind the towel around my hips. "Right." Of-course it does, she must be in a lot of discomfort because I made love to her for seven hours straight.

"Let me get you something to wear, then I'll carry you." I said, clearing my throat. "Don't move." I told her, she nodded her head, her eyes staring up at me innocently.

Once I'm out of her view as I enter my walk-in closet, I put my hand to my chest and take a moment to myself as I try and calm the strange sensation of my heart beating twice faster than usual.

What is happening to me? And why... why won't it slow down?