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chapter two
regrets
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THEY RAN AND ran until Harriet's arms grew tired and she was constantly adjusting Mikasa who sat on her shoulders. It didn't help that the young girl was already near her height. They didn't stop until Eren, who had fallen silent from the shock of watching Karla get eaten come back to himself— sort of. He started slamming his fists down onto Hannes' neck and shoulders, making the man grunt as he slowed to a stop.

"Eren, what are you doing?" Hannes asked as he looked up. Harriet looked up at the boy with wide eyes. The alcohol was in her veins now and it was harder to stand upright with Mikasa in her arms.

Her hands started to throb and that's when Harriet realized the damage she caused to them trying to lift a literal house off a woman.

"We were so close to saving my mom!" Eren yelled out, pain laced into his words, "why did you do that? We almost saved my mom!"

An elbow came down to Hannes' head and the man had finally had enough. With a grip on Eren's arm and one swift movement, Hannes threw Eren off his shoulders.

"Get a hold of yourself!" Hannes was firm with his tone as Eren slid in the dirt.

"Eren!" Mikasa called out, wriggling free from Harriet's arms an involuntary sigh of relief escaped Harriet's mouth as she set Mikasa on the ground, looking around to make sure no Titans were creeping up on them.

Her hands started to throb more without the pressure of Mikasa's weight, making her look down to see splinters and busted blisters in her palm, all surrounded by littered, bloody scraps. A frown was settled on Harriet's face as she looked down at her palms.

"Eren," Hannes was softer now as he approached the boy, kneeling down to his level, "the reason you couldn't save your mother, is that you lacked the strength."

Harriet felt a sharp breath hit her lungs as she heard Hannes talk. Eren didn't like what Hannes had to say either, he moved to punch the older man but his fist was easily caught.

"The reason..." Hannes struggled to speak now, choked up on his words, his grip on Eden's wrist seemed tight from what Harriet saw, "the reason I didn't fight the Titan, was that I lacked the courage!"

They were both crying now. With tears streaming down their face, Hannes got up and pulled Eren away, heading for the ferry. Harriet fell in with him, a hand gingerly going to Mikasa's shoulder.

"I failed you both," her words sounded like she was slurring as her eyes glued to the floor, emotion was devoid from her voice, she felt nothing but guilt... and drunk.

"You're drunk!" Eren accused, though it was true, "you just got back and you immediately went to drink! What kind of soldier are you?"

Harriet didn't have an answer for him as they approached the ferry, slowly, she got them on and followed suit fairly quickly, there was some grumbling from the citizens at first after seeing her survey corps patch on her arm and back, but the Garrison didn't say much after looking at all the blood on her.

She never got to clean up.

"Harrie!" Her name was called, Harriet's attention snapped up from Eren and Mikasa and her heart broke when she saw Heidi's hoped filled face.

How was she supposed to tell her baby sister that their parents are dead? Reduced to broken bone and bruised skin?

She couldn't.

Harriet fell to her knees on the cramped ferry as Heidi tackled her into a hug. Her little sister's arms wrapped tightly around her neck. Harriet buried her face into Heidi's shoulder, tears welling him her eyes as she picked her sister up, holding her tightly.

"Where's mom and papa?" Heidi asked, worry laced in her tone.

Harriet frowned, setting the girl down, her hands going to her sister's shoulder for stability.

"Mom and Papa, they..." Harriet struggled to say it, but she pushed, "they didn't make it, the house was gone when I got there."

Heidi's eyes welled up with tears, her sons were quickly drowned out by the increasing protests of the people who didn't make it onto the last ferry as they lifted the bridge. Harriet couldn't care less about them at the moment.

She pulled her little sister back into her embrace, stroking her blonde hair as she felt her sister's sobs wrack her body. The people who waited got louder as the ferry started to move. A few tried jumping on and a couple had fallen, but it's like everything stopped again when a familiar explosion sounded out once more.

With horror, Harriet looked up, from where she stood on the ferry, she could see soldiers and civilians in the distance running through the gate. Confusion flooded her fuzzy mind as she paused the stroking of Heidi's soft hair. A blast of debris and dust exploded from the gate and Harriet heard herself gasp when she saw a Titan sliding in, slowing himself down. Did... did it just ram itself through the gate?

The plan to ride the ferry into Maria and make a safe stop in one of the cities was halted. It was like something in Harriet broke, maybe the part where she felt anything. Heidi's fearful sobs shook Harriet's body but after a moment, the two found a seat, Heidi crawled into Harriet's lap and she laid there, crying until she fell asleep. Harriet watched as the land moved, the Titans wandering in and around, destroying everything in their path as they feasted on the people who couldn't get away.

Hours had passed with the view and Harriet couldn't look away until there was nothing but open plains and no Titans. It could've been peaceful if she didn't have to hear the people around her crying to themselves about how humanity was about to go extinct.

"I'll kill them," she heard Eren mumble, pulling her attention away from the ridge line. The boy got up with clenched fists as he walked to the edge of the ferry, anger in his expression before she could only see his back.

"Eren," Mikasa muttered out, slowly getting up.

"What's wrong, Eren?" Armin finally approached them, his hand reaching out to hold Eren's shoulder before getting slapped away. "Eren!"

Harriet moved to get up, something flaring in her when she watch as Eren knocked Armin's hand away. Heidi stirred, looking around in confusion, she looked to see Eren by the edge of the ferry, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Eren?" Her sweet voice was riddled with exhaustion.

The sisters stood up and together, they approached him.

"I'll kill them all!" Eren's voice shook with anger, making Harriet pause with wide eyes, "I'll wipe every one of them off the face of this earth!"

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THE NEXT MORNING was rougher than Harriet would've imagined. Especially since she was dragged out of her cot in the middle of her sleep by two scout regiment soldiers. Kicking and screaming from all three of them after she landed a strike in one man's balls and another man's throat, they all took a breath after to calm down.

"Harriet Novak," the man still holding his tender groin glared at her as he spoke, "you're being summoned by Commander Erwin Smith."

"Erwin?" Any lingering sleep that muddled her aching head left, leaving her confused, "what happened to Shadis?"

"He stepped down, your last expedition with him was too much." The other man wheezed out as he rubbed his neck.

Harriet assessed the two of them and sighed.

"I'll go with you, just don't touch me," Harriet frowned and soon after, the three set off.

The conversation with Erwin was brief, he wanted her back to begin preparations to take back Maria, she... wanted to stay. With Grisha going missing and Shadis dropping Eren's sleeping figure off with her in the middle of the night, Harriet knew in her gut that she wasn't just responsible for Heidi anymore, she had to keep both Eren and Mikasa taken care of now too.

"I'd like to work for the Garrison for now," Harriet's gut twisted as she spot, "I know I committed to the scouts when I was fifteen, but I'm responsible for my sister and my neighbors kids now. I have to be alive for that."

There was a pause, Erwin seemed shocked. The two never interacted much in the corps, and they only briefly interacted on their last expedition together, but Harriet knew of his skill and his good ideas. She had hoped that one day we would become Commander, she didn't realize that it would be so soon.

A small smile rose on Erwin's face.

"I get it," he finally said, making Harriet look up with wide eyes. "I'll work out something with Pyxis."

"It won't be forever," Harriet spoke up, meeting his gaze, "the kids, they've told me how much they want to join the Survey Corps despite my scolding, but they insist on enlisting when they're old enough. I'll come back when they turn twelve."

"How old are they now?"

"Ten."

"I'll see you in two years, soldier, now go, at that age, they're probably waking up right now, and food distribution is about to start," Erwin commanded, "go see Captain Kitz this afternoon, by then, he should have your new orders."

Hours later, Harriet is back at the warehouse where she and the other refugees were placed for the time being. Lines were already formed to get some food but she was more concerned with getting to Heidi and the others. Some commotion could be heard near the lines and when Harriet pushed through the crowds to see what happened her jaw dropped.

Anger flooded her system in an instant when she saw Eren on the ground, one of the Garrison soldiers stepping back as if he just hit the boy.

"Get away from my kid!" She screamed out, not realizing fully what she had said before launching herself at the two, her fists colliding with their faces as she attacked.

"What?!" One of them yelled out as they stumbled, people around them gasped and Armin and Mikasa pulled Eren back with the help of Heidi, the four of them watching Harriet with confusion.

"You're not my mother!" Eren screamed out from the ground but Harriet could barely hear them as she got the two men onto the ground.

"Shut up, Eren," Harriet seethed when she looked back at him, "I know you started this fight, I can sense it."

Eren stopped, his eyes widening. Behind him, Mikasa was holding enough bread to feed the four of them.

"You guys, go eat, Armin, keep them out of trouble," Harriet was firm now when she looked back down at the two Garrison soldiers, her glare leveled them, "you two, take me to Captain Kitz, or else we're going to have a round two that you won't like."

The two soldiers scrambled to their feet and soon, the three of them were leaving the distribution lines. They grumbled and whined about their injuries but quickly hushed when Harriet gave them a threatening glare, promising more than sore faces.

They led her to the wall where Captain Kitz was stationed, and just before Harriet got onto the lift, she turned back to the soldiers.

"If I catch you raising your hand to strike another child, I will know, and you won't like it," she threatened, watching with internal delight as they stood, rigid as she slowly was lifted.

She had never been on top of the walls. After graduation and swearing to the Survey Corps, she spent most of her time outside the walls when she wasn't at base, preparing to go outside the walls.

The view from the top was breathtaking, as far as the eye could see, there was rolling hills and a glittering skyline. Harriet took a moment, her wide eyes eating everything and internalizing it.

"Is there a reason a Survey Corps woman is beating up my soldiers and demanding my audience?" A man asked, pulling Harriet's attention to the left.

"I'm Harriet Novak, I was told to see you this afternoon, but an incident happened with your soldiers involving one of my wards, so I figured I would come now after handling it." Harriet stuck her hand out for him to shake, "I'll be under your command for the next two years, Captain."

Captain Kitz blinked back in surprise as he shook her hand. Looking over at his first lieutenant who also seemed to be surprised, they seemed to have a conversation with themselves.

"Well alright, welcome to the Garrison, let's get you your new uniform."

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2.2k words

hello!

just a quick upload before helene comes and milly-wops my house (if she's not a pussy)

but !! we're getting to the good stuff soon! I'm so excited for you guys to see what I have in store for you! im also going to ask for your forgiveness in advance, but I'm not tell you why, you're just gonna have to give it blindly and trust me!

:)

okay thank you guys i hope to hit yall with chapter three soon!! (i'm already a couple hundred words in dw)

thank you for reading and see you at the next update!

— greta!