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chapter one
the beginning of the end
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HER BOOTS WERE scraping against the cobblestone ground, her legs felt like lead but Harriet refused to take space on the wagon when others needed it more badly. Her mind was replaying the scene over and over again. There's dried blood covering her face, and matting her hair. She doesn't think a thousand baths will get this feeling off her.

She was one of the lucky ones. Moses, the arm of the man that she's carrying, her comrade and closest friend, was the result of wanting freedom. Oh how the rest of the 93rd would look at her now, the ones that went to join the MP's, the others that ran for the safety of the Garrison, oh how they all mocked the ones for going to the Scouts, calling their curiosity suicidal. Maybe they were right.

How could Harriet face any of them now as she held the only other person from her graduating class that had joined her to follow this foolish ideal?

There was a disappointed quiet in the streets, faint whispers caught her ears, but her mind was elsewhere.

"Moses! Moses! My son, Moses, I can't find him..." a woman pushed through the crowd, her eyes desperately scanning their faces, Harriet's heart plummeted down to the ground, she only realized at that moment she had been hugging the wrapped limb tight to her chest, not caring about the blood, "Where is my son Moses?"

Her commander, Shadis turned back to look at Harriet, his haunted eyes seemed to look through her as he addressed her.

"This is Moses's mother... Bring it here." he said, one of his final orders for her.

Harriet reluctantly stepped forward, tears spilling as she avoided looking Moses' mother in the eyes. She can't face her properly, not when Moses had shoved her off her horse, saving her from the giant titan that had taken him and killed their horses in the process.

She handed Shadis the only thing left of him and stepped back, wiping the tears from her eyes. Harriet watched with reserved horror as Moses' mother unwrapped the binding that Harriet had done, revealing the limb only to cover it back up seconds later with a gasp.

A long drawn out whine turned into a sob when she fell to her knees, holding what was left of her son to her chest the way Harriet had done on their way back.

"That was the only part of him we could bring back," Shadis said softly as he watched. A broken sob wracked the woman as she heard him. Harriet could see the woman's heart shattering right there, but she kept a brave face nonetheless. Harriet's eyes widened as she watched him drop to his knees in-front of the childless mother.

"But... my son... helped, right?" the mother asked, "Even if he didn't do anything directly, my sons death helped humanity fight back, didn't it?!"

Harriet's heart stopped. She opened her mouth to tell Moses' mother the truth, a small bit of courage scraped up from the bottom of her broken heart to tell this woman that her son died for her.

"Of course!" Shadis cried out, making Harriet look down at him with wide, watery eyes, "No... Our recon this time didn't... no, we never—" Shadis took a breathe, tears escaping his eyes and sending a chill down Harriet's spine, "Never learn a thing! It's my fault, my own incompetence killed our men, and we still don't even know what they are!"

Another sob or two wracked through Harriet's broken commander. More soldiers who had stopped, also stunned, watched the scene infront of them.

There was silence as Harriet stepped forward, a shaky hand went to Shadis' shoulder. The sobbing man looked up at Harriet but she kept her focus on Moses' mother.

"My name is Harriet Novak, your son shoved me out of the way, saving my life," Harriet wanted to cry, her voice croaking as she talked, "it was the titan that he saved me from that took him."

Tears were spilling again as Moses' mother reached out and took her hand. Harriet, shocked, wiped at her eyes with the hand that used to rest on her Commanders shoulder. Moses' mother pulled Harriet down and held her in a tight hug.

"Thank you," her mother whispered.

The other soldiers stepped around her, the crowd dispersing, mumbling their disdain for the Scouts. Harriet doesn't know how long she spent kneeling on the street, but she eventually had to pull away, her back and knees sent shooting pain all over her body.

Harriet needed a damn drink. And she knew exactly where to get one. Corners turned and streets passed and she found herself at the marketplace by the statue. A few feet away was a game of spades and bottles of alcohol, a few members of the garrison sitting around, all paused to look up at her in horror. She figured it was the blood that dried on her face and matted in her hair.

"Got an extra bottle?" She asks somberly, taking Hannes' seat, she stared them all down with varying levels of scrutiny.

Hugo, who had a numerous mix of emotions on his face picked up a bottle from his bag, untwisting it before he handed it to her. Harriet had watched these members drink since she was a young girl, always here playing their card games, not really doing much as the authorities here by the wall.

Just as swiftly as it rose in her chest, she stomped down the sickening feeling of envy for these men as she threw back the bottle, barely registering the burn in her throat as she finished it. She gently set it on the ground by her feet, going along with the collection they've managed to make.

"Are— are you alright?" Hugo managed to ask, the alcohol was making her feel a little fuzzy now as she started to feel the effects. If she allowed herself to feel the tiniest bit of emotion, she was sure now that she would have a meltdown like Shadis.

"I'm fine," she said, standing up, she wasn't sure if the wobbling was the alcohol or her exhaustion. Harriet was never one to drink, always wanting to keep her senses sharp, but she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take sober. She snatched another bottle from Hugo who didn't say anything if he was displeased by the action.

She figured she should start heading home and cleaning off Moses' blood before the stain is truly permanent. She took the long way home as she took another swig from the bottle, not ready to face her family after her latest defeat. They had told her years ago that they wouldn't support this job full of risks and horrors. They wouldn't send off their daughter to die for a lost cause.

She figured that it didn't matter anymore. The bottle was empty halfway to the house, she still held onto it, as if it would magically refill if she kept her grip on the neck for long enough.

Harriet never needed their support. Only the love of Heidi who still seems to still like her. It was a bit of a walk from the marketplace to Harriet's house. A ground shaking explosion, paired with a yellow and green flash in the sky made Harriet fall to the ground, the glass bottle in her hand shattering. Her head, fuzzy and spinning turned to find the source. She slowly rose to her feet and turned around, looking up.

Her heart stopped beating, her blood running cold. Peering at her from over the edge of the wall was a titan, but it didn't look like the others, there was no skin on its head. Sickening fear rooted her to the ground considering the wall was 50 meters high and the top of this Titan's head cleared it. Her eyes grew wide. How can this be? Where did this Titan come from? She was just outside the walls, they didn't see anything like this on their way in.

It didn't stop there, with two hands gripped on the top of the walls, the giant titan seemed to look down on something on the outside of the wall. A blast that shook the Earth sent parts of the wall flying in. Boulders flew over Harriet's head as debris rained down on her, she ducked down, screams of the people around her hit her ears along with her name, she looked around, squinting through the confusion and chaos to find the source.

It was Armin Arlert, and Heidi, her baby sister running up to her, tears in their eyes as they screamed about Eren and Mikasa, her neighbors kids. Seeing such genuine fear on her sister's face flipped something in her and she jumped into action. Blinking back the shock, Harriet got on their level.

"Get to the ferry now," she commanded, "Get out to Maria now and I will find you two after."

"But Mom and Dad," Heidi pleaded.

"Will rather you be safe behind the wall now go!" Harriet yelled, not wanting to argue as the familiar thundering of Titans footsteps could be felt in the ground. Armin took Heidi's hand and together, the two of them ran for their lives.

Harriet turned and ran for her house, her heart thundering in her chest so loud she could barely register the sound of Titan footsteps. Coming up the path, her heart sunk when she saw the remains. Her home was obliterated, blood leaked out of the crumbled doorway, soaking into the wood and staining the stone, her parents never stood a chance to get away.

The pain would eventually hit her, she's sure, but the sight of Karla Jaeger, alive and stuffed under her destroyed home shot electricity down Harriet's spine as she did what she could to help Mikasa and Eren to get the home off the woman. The familiar thundering of titans walking made her look up and realize how desperate the situation truly was. Her ODM gear was broken, she didn't have a way to kill the titan that approached them now.

She grabbed a strong enough stick despite her neighbors plea's to take the kids and run and wedged it up under the debris, trying her best to lift that way with the help of the kids but it was no use.

"My legs were crushed by the rubble." Karla's words are finally making their way to Harriet's ears, she looks back at the neighbor who had watched her grow into a woman. "Even if I get out, I can't run. You understand, don't you?"

Harriet wants to say something, she's still feeling a strong buzz from the alcohol, her head isn't on straight and she wants nothing more than to be sober at this moment so she could actually help.

"I'll carry you and run!" Eren yelled, only making Harriet's eyes well up with what she realizes she would have to do to get Eren out of here.

"Why do you never listen to me?! At least listen this one last time!" Karla was yelling, screaming, trying to get someone to listen to her commands, she locked eyes onto Harriet, "get my kids and get them out of here, keep them safe, please."

"I can't accept that Karla, please don't make me leave you," Harriet finally is able to talk again, her hands are scraped up and full of splinters as she tries again to lift the roof off of her, "I just lost my parents, I can't lose you too."

"At this rate, all four of us will..." she trails off when she sees someone approaching from the distance, Harriet hears the familiar firing and sounds of ODM wires and gas, "Hannes! Take the children and run!"

"Don't underestimate me, Karla." Hannes' familiar voice came from next to Harriet now as he kneeled before the broken woman. She let out a sob as she used her whole body to lift with no success, "I'll defeat the titan and save you all!"

Hannes got up from where he was kneeling in-front of Karla and ran off, getting ready to fight the monster that approached. Harriet continued to do the most to get the debris off the woman she had considered a second mother.

Harriet tried resisting eye contact with the woman and like she has with most tasks today, she failed. When she was a young girl, too small to understand most things, Harriet was convinced that Karla was somehow her mother. With the amount of time she spent in the Jaeger home before Eren was born, and the fact that her eyes were light brown just like Karla, she couldn't be told otherwise. Until Karla broke the news herself.

Suddenly it made sense why she didn't sleep in the Jaegers home.

"Wait! Don't try to fight it!" Karla yelled for Hannes but he was already gone.

The woman looked up at Harriet one last time, the pleading in her eyes was working it's way down. This house will not move. Hannes won't kill that titan. Eren is the last of Karla's flesh and blood that has a chance.

Whether Hannes chickened out or made that same discovery himself didn't matter to Harriet. When he came back and picked Eren up, Harriet did the same to Mikasa. She turned back as she ran off, looking back at Karla one last time who only could mouth out a thank you before Harriet looked forward, watching to not step on broken bodies and trip over debris in the street.

"My mom is still back there!" Eren's screams were sending chills down Harriet's spine but Mikasa didn't seem to fight or argue about being carried.

"Eren! Mikasa! You must survive!" Karla's words were in her skull, "You must listen to Harriet!"

A shortened gasp hit her lungs as reality set in. Until Grisha came back from wherever he was, if he was even still alive, Harriet was now responsible for these two, adding onto the list of kids she would be watching over.

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2.4k words

omg

hello.

we've had a dark start, how is everyone feeling??

writing this after watching the entire show just hits... different. like omg... eren why.

anyways, here we are, we have a long story ahead of us, I'll try to keep up, the aot brainrot has me maddeningly pinning stuff on Pinterest for this story instead of actually writing, of course.

i also would love to mention that silentwishing started a jean fic!!! please please please go look at that and keep an eye out for certain things!!

SO READ THE COLOR OF THE SKY IF YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU!!!

thank you all for coming and I hope you guys enjoy the story!!

— greta!