Chapter 79: Blood On My Hands

What did she mean by that? What payback?

I have a bad feeling about this. What is she planning to do? Hindi ba talaga siya susuko? Hindi ba siya napapagod?

"Stop thinking about what she said. She has done enough damage to your mental health."

"I have a bad feeling, Dark." I honestly said.

"Whatever she does, she can't harm you. She'll go through me first."

What if she wouldn't harm me? Instead, harm the people I love, the people I care about? Hindi ko kaya 'yon. I know she's gonna do something against me. She wants payback. Hindi talaga siya susuko.

I came back to my senses when I felt Dark's hand, caressing mine. Hindi ko na sinabi sa kanya yung iniisip ko.

"Don't hide anything from me. May bumabagabag pa sayo. What is it?"

"H-Ha?"

He raised a brow at me. "We both have the power, remember? And both of us can sense what's going on in each other's heads?"

Oh, right...

I sighed in defeat. "What if she'll harm the people I care for? Like you and Julia?"

"I will protect you and Julia. And don't worry about me, I can and will protect myself."

Somehow, I felt relieved. His words can make me feel relieved and safe. Dark is my safe place.

*****

Days have passed by so quickly and it's already weekend. I have to cope up a lot about what's being discussed in class dahil ilang araw din akong hindi pumasok. Hindi ko rin nakikita si Reena sa mga araw na nagdaan. I still can't help but to worry about what she's going to do... what she can do.

But Dark's words and presence made me feel safe.

Kasalukuyan akong nasa grocery store kasama si Julia para mamili ng aming mga pagkain sa dorm. Hindi niya alam ang tungkol sa pagbabanta ni Reena. Dark and I agreed to keep our mouth shut. The last thing we want is for Julia to get worried.

While we were choosing the goods to get, Julia was ranting.

"Naiirita talaga ako, Zee! Lagi siyang umaaligid kay Godwin. Sabi niya sa'kin na he didn't tell me about it because we'll surely argue. And yes, we would! Nilihim niya sa'kin and it's worst! He could've just told me about it, not that he'll keep it a secret!"

I sighed. "Hindi niya sinabi sayo kasi ayaw niyang mag-away kayo dahil sa babaeng 'yon,"

"Oo nga, I get it, but still! I hate the fact that Effie keeps flirting with him! Para siyang linta na dumidikit kay Godwin! Hindi niya ba alam ba may girlfriend na yung tao? At hindi rin sinabi ni Godwin sa kanya 'yon!"

She keeps ranting about the girl Effie and I just listened to her. Naisip ko rin kung ako yung sa sitwasyon niya, I would also want to confront that girl.

Bigla kong naalala si Reena. Pain immediately filled my chest. Agad kong iwinaksi ang iniisip.

While Julia was ranting nonstop, my eyes drifted to a familiar person.

"Selton?"

Agad namang napahinto si Julia sa pagsasalita at tinignan din ang tinitignan ko.

Selton gave me a smile. He also waved his hand at me. He looks fine. He looks better than how he used to in the past few days. I smiled at that.

"You want sushi?" He asked, still smiling.

I chuckled when I remembered a memory. He bought me sushi a long time ago and he insisted that he'll pay for it.

I looked at Julia and she looked flabbergasted. It's normal for her to be since she doesn't know that Selton and I already talked it out.

"Don't tell me you forgave him?" Di makapaniwala niyang sabi.

"Pag-usapan natin mamaya sa dorm. For now, can you keep your cool, please?"

Ayoko ng gulo. They're both special to me and I also don't want them to cause a commotion right here in the grocery store.

Thank goodness Julia obliged. "I'll see you at the counter,"

After that, she didn't say anything anymore and stormed off. I heaved a sigh. Lumapit si Selton sa'kin.

"She really hates me,"

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

"It's okay. I understand her." He said with a small reassuring smile. I didn't buy it.

I feel apologetic towards him. I should really talk to Julia about him once and for all. I get why she's being like this pero sobra na yata 'to. And ayos naman na kami ni Selton. I really wish that one day, Julia wouldn't act like this toward Selton anymore.

I think she's judging Selton just... too much. Hindi niya nakikita yung good side nito. She needs to open up her mind and see who he really is. He's a good guy.

We walked to where we could find sushi. He examined the packs of sushi while I was beside him.

I suddenly remembered what he said to me that night.

"Use me to get over him," Seryoso niyang sabi. "I don't care at all. Ayokong nakikita kang ganito."

My heart skipped a beat. I immediately felt awkward. Kumurap-kurap ako at tumingin-tingin na lang sa paligid.

Naalala ko din ang sinabi niya nung ihatid niya ako sa dorm.

"Listen, I'm always here, okay? I don't want you to be in pain and if I could help you in any way possible, tell me. My door is always open for you."

I was drunk that night when he said those words but I remembered them vividly. I felt sober after he said those words to me.

My heart ached. Selton truly deserves someone better than me. I know it's not easy to move on but I hope he finds the right one for him in the process. He said that I can use him and it's a selfless thing to do. It was selfless of him.

Throughout my journey so far, I've seen people who love and care. Those people include me, Selton, and even Reena.
I tried to compare the past me to the present me. And there's one thing I could say...

Love really brings out the best in you.

And with that being said, I believe that even the evil ones are capable of loving no matter how evil they are.

I could say that Madame Selina had a wonderful family before any of this happened. But when the love of her life died, she became miserable.

Yes, love can bring out the best in you but it can also destroy you. But in loving someone, it's not always rainbows and unicorns.

But come to think of it, there's still hope. There's still hope that she would change. She could be a better person. Alam ko na kung may tao mang makakabasa ng mga iniisip ko ngayon, they might laugh at the idea in my head. But everyone is capable of loving.

"Demerine? You okay?" Agad naman akong natauhan sa tanong ni Selton. He made me snap out of my deep thoughts.

"Oo naman," I said with a little smile, avoiding his gaze. Bigla kong naalala na ang awkward pala dahil nga sa mga sinabi niya sa'kin nung gabing yun.

I was startled when he went near me. "Hey, look me in the eyes."

I tried my best to not drown in his gray piercing eyes. I looked right into his eyes no matter how hard I wanted to look away.

"What's the matter? You seem uneasy or something."

"It's just... it's kind of awkward, you know? I remembered what you said to me the night I got drunk." This time, I looked away and took a step backward.

"Oh," Aniya at umatras din. I think it didn't occur to his mind that it's awkward. Pero ngayon, na-awkwardan na rin yata siya dahil binanggit ko!

No one dared to speak between us and it's awkward as heck but I took a deep breath and spoke. "Selton, I just want to say that I'm sorry. I couldn't count how many times I've apologized to you but I'll continue to do so. I know it hurts but I will keep on saying that you deserve someone better than me. I hope that in the process of you moving on, you'll find her."

He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm working on it, Demerine. Thank you."

I smiled back at him and gave him a hug. He was caught off guard but he hugged me back after a few moments anyway.

After that serious talk we had, we went back to being silly. He searched for the packs of sushi that are in good quality and he even gave me tips on how to pick those of good quality. It's like we didn't have a serious talk a while ago and we're back to being the old us. The fun old us.

When we reached the counter, he paid for the goods he bought, kasama na 'don ang sushi na nilibre niya sa'kin. After we said our goodbyes, I saw Julia waiting for me outside the grocery store.

We didn't speak until we arrived at our dorm.

"You okay?" Tanong niya sa'kin nang mailapag niya na yung pinamili namin sa mesa.

"Yes, of course. I just thought of the things Selton and I talked about earlier."

She raised a brow but then she gave me a smile. "It seems like you two had a serious talk? Based sa mukha mo ngayon."

"Yes, we did... I apologized to him, again, for the nth time. I told him he deserves someone better than me and that I hope he finds the right one for him while in the process of moving on." I took a deep breath. "Look, Julia, Selton is—"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry I judged him because he's a playboy and all. He already changed. He isn't the jerk he used to be, no offense if I called him a jerk but was." She said with a short laugh. She then genuinely smiled. "He already changed, Zee. And it's because of you."

I gave her a smile. "Loving someone can really change you, ano? When you love someone, you choose to be a better person and that person you love brings out the best in you."

Her smile grew wider. "Yes, it does."

*****

The weekend passed by so quickly and it's Monday already, which means... classes. I feel so lazy pero syempre, kailangan kong pumasok. Whatever happens, I'm still a student. I'm still a human being who needs to learn and go to my classes.

Everything went out smoothly than I expected it to be. I've caught up to all the lessons I have missed. There were times that I thought about Reena and what she said about having her payback. What she said even haunted me in my sleep.

Time again passed by so fast and kakalabas lang namin sa classroom ni Mrs. Magallanes. I stretched my arms while Julia and I are both walking. Pauwi na kami sa dorm since wala naman na kaming gagawin o pupuntahan pa.

I was caressing my neck when someone caught my attention. It was Demi. I haven't seen her around for a while. Maybe the reason I haven't been seeing her is because she doesn't go out that much in the open. Baka sa kagubatan siya lagi dumadaan or what. Knowing Demi, she doesn't hang around with people. She prefers to be alone and she prefers to be silent.

She glanced at me. Her eyes, as usual, are emotionless. But even with that, I still smiled at her. And it's more like I'm communicating with her using my eyes. I want to ask her if she's okay these days.

But instead of rolling her eyes at me or giving me a death glare, she blinked a few times and avoided my gaze. Mas binilisan niya ang paglalakad.

I don't know what happened to her but I didn't think much about it. Ganyan naman siya lagi, eh. As much as possible, she wouldn't communicate with anyone.

"Shit, I forgot! I need to go to the library nga pala." Ani Julia.

My eyes went to her. "Bakit?"

"I need to find a book to base for my report kay Prof Alec, remember? I still have a day to work on it."

"Sige, samahan na kita."

"No, ayos lang. Mauna ka na, I know you're tired and all. Plus, baka matagalan ako."

I nodded. "Okay. Mag-ingat ka."

"You too!" She said and waved goodbye and gave me a flying kiss.

Binilisan ko ang paglakad para mas mabilis makarating sa dorm. I badly want to lie down and have a quick nap. Inaantok talaga ako lagi 'pag ganitong oras.

When I arrived at the dorm, I was about to unlock the front door when someone covered my mouth with a handkerchief.

Pilit akong pumiglas pero unti-unting lumalabo ang paningin ko. I felt weak. And my vision turned black.

*****

I can hear people talking in a low voice.

"Are you sure about this? Is she the one who took it?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I heard her talking about it."

Nang magkamalay na agad akong dumilat at nagpumiglas pero hindi ako makawala. My hands are fucking tied as well as my feet. I was tied on a chair!

The last thing I remembered, I was about to unlock the front door of the dorm when someone covered my mouth with a handkerchief that probably contains something that made me faint.

I looked around the place kung saan ako. My vision is kind of blurry but after a few moments, I got to see clearly. Where in the actual fuck am I?

Parang nasa isang abandonadong bodega ako. There were rusty metal plates and logs of wood everywhere. Even the chair I'm sitting on is rusty like it's too old kaya kinalawang na.

Some of the rust went to my arms since I'm tied to the rusty chair. Hindi ako makasigaw dahil may busal ako sa bibig. I'm trying so hard to remove it from my mouth.

"Well, well, you're awake!"

Agad akong napatingala sa nagsalita and it's none other than Madame Selina. She has this sinister smile plastered on her face. She crossed her arms while walking towards me.

Before I could even process, I saw Reena walking behind her.

I feel like blood drained from my face. Was this the payback she was talking about? Telling Madame what I've been hiding? Pero paano niya nalaman 'to?

Before I could process everything, I felt a painful slap on my face. Nakalapit na pala si Madame sa'kin. My cheek hurts but I didn't say despite the pain.

"It was you all along! You are the one who stole the book! You're such a fucking bitch!" Madame slapped me on my other cheek. Tinanggal niya ang busal sa bibig ko.

Despite the pain, I still didn't budge. I looked at Reena instead of Madame. She was emotionless. I have a lot of questions in my mind.

How did she know? Paano niya nalaman na ako yung kumuha sa aklat ng matinding kapangyarihan?

"R-Reena, why? W-Why would you do this?" I feel weak while asking. I've been tied and I've been slapped so it's normal that I feel weak.

Bago pa ako makapagsalita ulit, Madame fisted some of my hair so I would look at her. "Stop asking questions! Where did you hide the book?"

Wait a second, does she know I have the power? Hindi niya dapat malaman! Now is not the time I should use my power. I know that the power I have is great and dangerous but I don't know what she has on her mind. She can kill me first before I could kill her. She knows a lot more about the rarest power than me. Hindi dapat ako magpakampante.

It seems like ang alam niya lang ay ako yung kumuha sa aklat ng matinding kapangyarihan. She doesn't know I have the power... yet.

"Where is it?!" Sigaw niya pa sa'kin, her veins showing.

"What's the difference? Kahit naman sabihin ko kung saan, I'll still die. You would still kill me."

I was startled when she grabbed my neck. And I can't breathe because of that. She's choking me.

She let go of me after a few moments and I coughed nonstop. "What shall I do so you would tell me, then? How about torturing someone in front of you?"

No... No, she won't do that. She shouldn't.

"Who would that person be?" She acted like she was thinking. "Aha, I know! I've heard you're friends with that kid named Chad. Mrs. Cheng's nephew, right?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "No! You wouldn't do anything to him!"

"I can get him here with just the snap of my fingers. I'll let my people torture him, beat him to pulp."

Nang hindi ako sumagot, sinampal niya ulit ako. She snapped her fingers and two men in cloaks appeared on the doorway.

"Bring Chad Wirth here. The nephew of Mrs. Cheng's that she doesn't even care about. Make it fast!" After she ordered the men, they immediately disappeared.

"No! No, please! You shouldn't do this! Huwag niyo siyang idamay dito!"

"That's why you should tell me where the book is!"

"Zaya, just tell Madame where it is. Para matapos na 'tong paghihirap mo! Would you rather be tortured to death or would you rather die quickly?" Reena spoke.

"I'll just go and get Sylvester. Bantayan mo siya rito. Make sure that you keep an eye on her or else—"

"I know it already, Madame. At hindi ko siya tutulungang makatakas. Why did I even tell you her secret if I wanted her to get away with it?" Reena said in a bitchy voice that wasn't her. This isn't the Reena I used to know.

"Well, you have a point, Miss Atrevala. I'll be back." Madame answered and gave me a death glare before disappearing.

"Reena, how could you do this? Why would you do this?" Tanong ko kaagad sa kanya nang makaalis na si Madame.

"Because I want you gone. That's it." She wickedly said.

"Reena, nothing will change. Even if you'll kill me, Dark wouldn't love you. He will despise you more than ever. 'Yan ba ang gusto mo?"

She was speechless. It looks like she was having second thoughts about it.

I know that if I use my power right now, I will be able to free myself from the ropes I'm tied with but as I have said, walang dapat makaalam na nasa akin 'yung kapangyarihan. None of them should know right now. They may find out eventually but just not now.

Nagulat ako nang sinakal ako ni Reena. I can't breathe but I still tried to talk her out of it. "R-Reena, t-this isn't you. Y-You are not this k-kind of person."

She then slapped me. "You don't know who I am! You don't know what kind of person I am so better shut the fuck up and just tell me where the damned book is so I can get rid of you once and for all!

Binitawan niya ang leeg ko at napahilamos siya sa mukha niya. Napa-ubo ako ulit. Hingal na hingal ako.

Even though I'm struggling to breathe, I still chose to speak. "H-How did you know? Paano mo nalaman na nasa akin ang aklat?"

Aside from me, sina Dark, Julia, at Demi lang ang may alam. Could it possibly be... Demi who told her? No, Demi wouldn't do that. I'm terrible for thinking that. Paano nalaman ni Reena?

She looked at me and it took her a few moments to answer me. "I saw you a long time ago. You were at the fountain area talking about it."

I tried my very best to remember what she's talking about. Parang gusto ko ipukpok ang ulo ko para maalala lang yung tinutukoy niya.

And I stumbled across a memory... back when Reena hurt me after knowing that the reason why Dark couldn't love her was me... It happened three days after the incident.

I stayed for the whole three days in Dark's dorm. Gusto niya raw akong alagaan at gusto niya rin daw na siguraduhing safe ako. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam. Binibisita rin ako dito ni Julia at kasama niya si Godwin.

At ngayon, kasulukuyan kaming naglalakad ni Julia at kakatapos lang ng mga klase namin at papunta kami sa fountain area upang mag-usap tungkol sa aklat.

When we reached our destination, we sat on one of the benches. Biglang sumagi sa isipan ko ang pananakit ni Reena sa akin. It makes my head hurt just to think of what she did to me. Parang kahapon lang nangyari. I can still feel the way she hurt me... I still can feel the pain.

I immediately snapped out of my thoughts. Tapos na 'yon at dapat huwag ko ng alahanin pa. I'm healed now and that's what matters the most. Ngayon, dapat kaming mag-usap ni Julia tungkol sa aklat.

We first looked around to see if there's anyone but there's no one besides the two of us. I then started to talk. "Hindi ko pa nasabi kay Dark ang tungkol sa aklat."

"You should say it to him, Zee."

"P-Pero magagalit 'yun." Sabi ko naman dahil syempre, si Dark yun eh.

"Kung magagalit nga siya, lilipas din 'yon. Ipaliwanag mo sa kanya na kumikinang ang aklat kapag ikaw ang humawak."

Well, Julia has a point. I will just explain it to him na ganoon ang nangyari.

Magsasalita pa sana ako ng may narinig kaming ingay mula sa isang punong kahoy. Agad naming tinignan ni Julia kung ano ang nandoon pero wala naman. Bigla akong kinabahan. Papaano kung may tao pala ditong nakamasid sa amin? Oh no... please don't.

"What was that, Juls?" Natatakot kong tanong sa kaniya.

"Don't worry, Zee. It must've been the wind. Let's go now. Gumagabi na rin." Sabi niya at tumango lamang ako at umalis na kami papunta sa dorm namin.

It wasn't the wind after all... It was Reena. She heard it all. At nangangahulugang... alam niyang may kapangyarihan ako.

"You heard what Julia and I talked about three days after you hurt me," I still chose to stay calm.

"Yes, I did. I heard it all."

But no way. She should not involve Julia in this mess. 'Pag nalaman ni Madame ang involvement ni Julia sa pagtatago ng aklat, she will kill her... And she will go to Dark next. And she shouldn't know that Dark is the other person who was the rarest power. I wouldn't let that happen.

"Don't involve Julia in this, please. 'Pag nalaman ni Madame ang tungkol dito, she will kill Julia." I begged.

"Of course I wouldn't involve her in this. I didn't tell Madame that you were talking to her that day. What do you think of me? I will not allow the sister of the person I love to be harmed along the way. Ikaw lang ang gusto kong mawala."

Parang nabunutan ng tinik ang dibdib ko. I don't want the people I love to be involved in the mess I created in the first place. Ako na lang ang saktan nila Madame, huwag na yung mga taong pinahahalagahan ko.

Napa-isip ako ulit. She knows. Reena knows that I have the power, doesn't she?

She looked at me and smirked as if she read my mind. "And yes, Zaya, I do know that you have the power... Right after I heard you say that the book glows when you touch it, right then and there, alam ko na nasa'yo ang kapangyarihan."

"Reena, please, don't tell Madame about this. Because if she knows about this, she'll take all my power and she'll become more cruel than she ever has. She's already a monster as it is, Reena." I tried my best to convince her.

She gave out a sarcastic laugh. "Convincing me, begging me, will not work. I haven't told her, yet. But I will soon."

"No, don't tell her! I beg you! If you do that, there will be no chance that we can get out of here. Hindi na tayo makakatakas dito Reena once she's powerful enough!"

She laughed again.

I felt mad. She doesn't care at all. Hindi niya naiisip ang lahat ng mga inosenteng tao na narito. We all need to escape from this hell. And we should do that before it's too late.

"You aren't listening to me! Think about the innocent lives of the people in here! Once she gets my power, we will all be doomed! We won't have any chance of survival! Don't you get that?!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko.

Nakasalalay sa kanya ang buhay ng mga inosenteng tao rito. If she decides to tell Madame that I have the rarest power, and when Madame sucks out every ounce of power I have, we're all so fucking doomed. Even Dark has the power, and he chooses to fight Madame, they have the equal power. And there will be a chance that Dark might lose and he'll die and I don't want that to happen.

"I'm having fun watching you beg but I don't give a fuck about what you're saying right now. Madame Selina promised to free me once all of this is over."

"Do you seriously believe her? Do you think she'll free you? She's lying to you! She's going to kill you anyways! Don't trust her!"

"And you're saying I should trust you instead of her?"

"You should trust me, Reena. I know you hate me so much but I'm the one who you should trust right now." I desperately said.

She looked at me with boredom. "Eh, can't hear you."

She then turned her back against me. She went to the old and abandoned table where a bag was placed.

May kinuha siya sa loob ng bag at nang humarap siya sa'kin, she showed me a syringe. "This syringe has a substance that Prof Leonsio made. 'Pag tinurok ko na 'to sayo, you will feel so weak that you wouldn't be able to use your power against me or against anyone. Mawawalan ka din ng malay."

Ang lakas-lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. This is what I was talking about. I was right. Madame is really smart plus she has Prof Leonsio with her. They always come up with a plan. And Prof Leonsio made something that can make a person who has the rarest power weak.

I don't want this to happen right now but I need to do what I have to do. I need to escape and now is the right time I use my power.

Focus, Zaya. Focus...

It took me everything I had to focus. I used all my strength to break the ropes I'm tied with so I can free myself.

Reena looks shocked. "N-No! W-What do you think you're doing?!"

She immediately ran towards me so she could inject me with the syringe.

Good thing I had fast reflexes so I grabbed her arm, the one with the dangerous syringe and I twisted it.

"Ahh!" She screamed in pain.

I don't know what's happening to me but I can't seem to control myself anymore. All I have is anger.

After I twisted her arm, I pushed her so hard. The next thing I knew, wala na siyang malay.

Agad akong natauhan. "Oh my God! Reena!"

Tumakbo kaagad ako kung saan siya tumama. I saw blood. Huge amount of blood. It was gushing from her head.

Oh my God... did I just kill her? No fucking way!

"R-Reena, w-wake up, please. I'm s-sorry! I'm... I-I'm so sorry!" Tears started falling from my eyes while I looked at her body. She was pale.

I checked her wrist to find a pulse but there was none. I did kill her. Oh my God, I killed her. I killed Reena! Fucking shit!

Natataranta ako dahil sa tuloy-tuloy na pagdanak ng dugo at dahil na din sa dahilang pinatay ko si Reena.

I tried to hold her face, causing her blood to spread on my hands. My hands are trembling so fucking bad.

"Oh God, Reena, you didn't deserve this. I'm so sorry... I'm so, so sorry."

I've got blood on my hands. I killed Reena. I killed her with my bare hands and my conscience is eating me up.

-